9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@FlyOnTheWall89 ah I see, yes I think it’s meant to be before ovulation. What tests did they do for you as part of your NHS referral? I’m surprised they haven’t done it, I thought it was standard. Are they saying your main issue is male factor? I’m also hoping for a post HSG miracle but also seriously doubting I’m going to be that lucky 😆. @LucyAnne34 had her HSG in Jan. I can’t see how it can help if it’s not a tube issue really x

Hi all,

@Hoping43 @NatW2021 @BritInNZ @Indianna2006 @FlyOnTheWall89 thank you for your replies. That's really interesting to hear all of your experiences with telling people. I think it will depend on our results as to whether I will start telling people. If our results show an issue then I may just tell my mum and two best friends, if it hasn't picked up anything and we need more tests then I may stay quiet for a bit longer. I am so thankful I have you all to talk to as it's one of those things in life that I think only others who have experienced similar truly get it.

@BritInNZ the way you describe your DH really reminded me of how my DH is at times.
I honestly think it's a bit of a coping mechanism for them by glossing over it. They try to be the upbeat, positive one who brushes it under the carpet a bit. I think my DH does this to balance out my pessimism.

@Indianna2006 I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are so brave and I can only imagine the mixed emotions you must be feeling at doing those pregnancy tests! Hang in there ❤️

@FlyOnTheWall89 glad your HSG went well. Silly question but what's the difference between that and a HyCoSy?

@NatW2021keeping every crossed your Thursday appointment goes ok. Is it a consultation or tests too? Sorry if I've missed the message

Just going to send this message as I'm worried I will lose it. Stay tuned for an update from me in a moment, featuring a picture of my ovary looking like an angry owl .... 🐦 🦉

So update from me.

The clinic uploaded my scan images onto my patient portal so I can see them, except I have no idea how to interpret them 🤷🏻‍♀️ the one thing I can make out is that my lining was 5.1mm by the looks of it and my scan was CD 27 (day before AF). I'm a bit worried about this to be honest. Also I can make out that one ovary looks like a fish and one looks like an angry bird or owl face ... attached said ovary for your amusement.

Then my next piece of news... we was supposed to get out results on the 9th. This is for semen analysis, scan and blood test. Well the clinic rang me today and they can give me an appointment tomorrow instead of 9th!!!! So tomorrow morning we have our consultation and I am just so nervous. I am so scared that it's going to be something majorly wrong. I don't think I will sleep tonight at all ☹️😩

@lemons44 that lining seems quite low to me, but I'm not the expert. I think mine was 9mm and that was around ovulation? I also listened to a podcast and she was saying her embryo transfer wouldn't be done unless her lining was over 8mm. So maybe there's an issue but it will be fixed nice and easily?! 😊

Hahahaha angry bird. I have no idea! I didn't see any images of my ovaries, just read the measurements etc. I'm sure your specialist will be able to help more, and SO glad you don't have to wait until the 9th!

Let us know how it goes?!

@BritInNZ I think you might be right you know. I've just had a major 'fuuuuuck' moment of realisation. I'm just reading an article and I think my lining should have been the thickest part of the cycle at CD 27, the day before AF, so mine does look really, REALLY thin. In fact it says it's not possible to get pregnant with a thickness of 5mm at the end of the article. FFS.

This is the article:
parenting.firstcry.com/articles/endometrial-thickness-whats-normal-range-for-pregnancy/?amp

Unless I am misreading the scan - however I don't think I am. I've just added the pic below in case there's any scan experts on here.

I will let you know how it goes tomorrow!!

@lemons44 good luck for tomorrow. Have they uploaded anything else onto the portal in terms of results? My lining was 9.3mm 2 days before ovulation and they said that was normal. No real idea about linings though as most of my research has focused around FSH and egg reserve which apparently doesn’t seem to be a problem after all 🤷🏼‍♀️ X

@lemons44 have they said anything about the follicles they could see on each ovary? X

Thanks @Hoping43

No results yet only the scan photos with no explanation. As we went private they have this patient portal where I can see my appointments and stuff and the scan photos had been uploaded to that. The consultant is going to go through the results tomorrow. I kind of wish they hadn't uploaded them because I am getting all stressed out trying to understand them!

How are you getting on?

@lemons44 good luck. I hope it goes well, keep us posted. How long have you been TTC again? Do you already have children?

I’m ok thanks. Just plodding along. On cycle 13 now. Nothing has been found to be wrong (though I am assuming there is something stopping it from happening) so we are just trying a bit longer before we probably have to have IVF. Seems crazy. I already have 2. But we are where we are 🤷🏼‍♀️

@lemons44 good luck this morning. Let us know how it goes.

So if CD21 was 7mm lining, is that okay or too thin or borderline?

Thanks @FlyOnTheWall89 and @Hoping43 I literally have only slept four hours because I went down a really horrible google rabbit hole last night that has now scared me senseless.

@Hoping43 just gone onto cycle 13 too. Neither me or DH have any children yet and I have never had a BFP.

I hope it happens for you soon so you don't need the ivf route 🤞🏼

@lemons44 bless you. It’s horrible when you go down a rabbit hole. 5.1mm if that is correct on CD27 does seem low yes.
like you said I believe with IVF transfers etc on transfer day they like a lining of 8mm minimal really. As anything under that I believe results in unlikely implantation as it just isn’t enough to sustain a pregnancy in it. So they don’t like to do it and use an egg I presume if implantation won’t happen anyway. See what the clinic say. But there is stuff they can do for poor lining quality. And it could be an easy ish fix so don’t despair just yet!!

@FlyOnTheWall89 I would say 7mm lining mid cycle is borderline. From what I’ve read. Some clinics wouldn't continue with that measurement. But it’s just one cycle. So each cycle could vary different I think. And think you can help your lining.

i was trying to help mine as felt my period was so scanty and light. And the two months prior to falling pregnant. My period became much brighter red and better flow. An I’m certain it has a reason as to why an egg chide to implant and didn’t before. But I can’t be certain. But I’ll be back on doing the same thing again.

I’ve only had my lining checked once when I was ttc my DD. So 4/5 years ago now. And mine was 16mm on CD13. But I have no clue what it would be at now. My pelvis now gets poor blood flow so I imagine not that great.

@lemons44 - thinking of you today, its so nerve wracking but what i tell myself is knowledge is power and you can take it from there. My lining was 9.6 on day 12 when i had my scan but its weird as @Indianna2006 my periods are pretty light. I am still concerned something is "off" i have a scan tomorrow at the hospital and blood tests it's with a fertility nurse.

Thanks @Indianna2006 that's really useful. I do get light ish periods, some not so light. In general I only wear a cup for 2 days. Then it's just not really anything. I will bring this up in my call tomorrow. Maybe I should get some acupuncture! Xx

@FlyOnTheWall89 @NatW2021 well if it’s any consolation. I had that scan and my lining checked after my first mc as I was worried my period were very light. And that the mc has disturbed something. Again only needed to use stuff day 1 and 2 and then just very light spotting.
but on the scan she said my lining was “perfect” think 16mm is max it can be and it had that tri appearance etc etc. so it obviously doesn’t always correlate to how much you bleed. Which makes no sense to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But proof was in the pudding.
ironically that was the cycle I got pregnant with DD so she was very cosy in my 16mm lining clearly 😂

it’s worth asking though yes but don’t stress too much on it as another cycle it could of been like 9/10mm. Think it’s just an issue if it consistently doesn’t become thick enough.

@Indianna2006 @FlyOnTheWall89 i think sometimes the blood can be re absorbed by the body instead of exiting the uterus if this helps explain the variance between period flow and lining measurements. My periods aren’t as heavy as they used to be but my lining was 9.3mm 2 days before ovulation which they said is normal.

keep us posted @lemons44 good luck x

It's not good news girls.

The consultant wasn't worried about the lining.

The issue is that DH has 0 sperm.

Everything the consultant said after that was a blur.

She's sending us a treatment plan so I will digest it more when I read that. I think the next step is to determine if there's a blockage stopping the sperm coming out that they can fix or extract the sperm for IVF, or if it's just that he doesn't produce sperm at all and never will.

I feel like I've been hit by a train.

@lemons44 omg what a shock for you! I can only imagine the rest was a blur.

0 sperm! Well let them investigate first to see if it is just a blockage that can maybe be fixed. Or if he has some it can be extracted etc. there are sometimes things they can do. Science these days is amazing!

what a shock. So sorry hun. But there is now an answer. As shit as that is. It’s an answer and no more unknown.

Take time to digest it.

@lemons44 - so sorry to hear about the results. It must be a lot to process. Take time to process and there are so many ways around things. You have the answer and can now proceed with a plan. Bigs hugs xx

@lemons44 I'm so sorry hun, that is horrible news to receive. Big hugs to both you and your partner. My OH has found his sperm being the issue pretty hard to deal with. You have your answer and you can begin to work on a plan. I can't remember exactly, but @Carla2601 may be able to offer some advice. I think men can be missing a vital tube that makes it seem like there are no sperm but they are just hiding. Or as Indianna said, perhaps a blockage etc. Are the NHS investigating this for you or will you go privately to a urologist? Great news that you're all fine. Xxxx

@FlyOnTheWall89 thanks for tagging me….

@lemons44 ive been where you are, please please don’t panic. I know how awful it is and how scared you feel and I’m so sorry.

There are a few options (as I understand) for what this could be and they will figure it out pretty quickly. It basically from my understanding has to be hormonal (they should take blood today and tell you tomorrow) or a blockage. I don’t know much about the hormonal one.

if it’s a blockage from my understanding there will be a way to fix it, it’s often caused by either a missing piece (as in our case) or something blocking the sperm coming out (could be causing it to heat and there are normally symptoms). one way to figure this out is the PH level, do you have it? I’m happy to look and compare but would recommend booking a private (if you can) urologist now. Some of this was covered on my OH health insurance from work. It’ll speed things up a lot and then you won’t have to worry for as long. Where do you live?

It feels like the worst news in the world but for us it was good news - we only found out in January and I’m 5 weeks pregnant now. I’m not saying it’ll definitely work out like that but I do want to give you some hope because I know today will feel so bleak.

sending you heaps of love x

@Carla2601 we are such a good community. Hope that helps @lemons44!!

@lemons44 sorry to hear your news. I know someone who had the same. They found it it was due to being a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene so a tube was missing. They are also now pregnant. I guess one of the most frustrating things is going 12 months without knowing this. How is your OH? Xx

@Hoping43 that’s right if the tube is missing it makes you more likely to be a CF carrier (although my OH isnt so it’s not always). And if your partner and you are then they can still screen so it’s not a barrier @lemons44

@lemons44 i should say it was £250 for our appointment and from that we had the diagnosis (absence of the vas) so it’s a lot of money but not like insane amounts and that was with Mr Ramsey so there might be some other options at other prices too