9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@Carla2601 Thankyou that's so lovely :) x

@LucyAnne34 i think you said you’re the same age as me in which case you only ‘have’ to try for 6 months so it might be a bit of a faff but I think if you wanted to try assisted conception it’s your choice - let us know how it goes with the secretary x

@LucyAnne34 I think the consultant was properly right. As you did fall pregnant. Although on slightly longer side of normal. It’s obvious you can have a natural conception. And 5 months from a Mc is nothing. Lots of people who are perfectly fertile still wouldn’t be pregnant 5 months from starting ttc.

I understand you’ve waited sooo long. Because of ttc originally and then being pregnant and not. I do honestly believe you will fall again naturally. Hopefully sometime in the next 6 months.

I now feel a bit the same. We’re now a year from when we started ttc. And I’m back at the beginning. And it will maybe take 10/11 months again to conceive. But I have to restart the clock. Soo it’s a patient waiting game which is excruciating. But I have more hope it will happen again I guess because it did.

@BritInNZ very sorry about AF. Sending you hugs.

@Carla2601 pregnancy makes you feel so bloated anyway so I imagine with IVF meds floating around must be awful!

I am off to EPU today for my options. So hope after a very long awful 11 days of waiting I can get things moving along and move forward to getting my cycle back.

@Indianna2006 thinking of you today and hope it goes as well as it can. Hope you’ve got the afternoon off and some treats for yourself

@Carla2601 i will be 35 in June. Yeah I will deffo let you know :)
@Indianna2006 Thankyou for the reassurance :) I hope everything goes ok today, sending hugs x

@LucyAnne34 ah yes same as me then. I feel like in IVF terms we’re seen as very young (even though idk about you but I don’t feel it haha!).

I’ve had to come into the hospital for a scan as they’re a bit worried about my breathing but I just bumped into the man who did my transfer and he said it can’t affect the baby only me, so I feel better already! Keep you posted!

Hope you are ok @Carla2601 keep us updated.

Me and DH have our tests tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about the scan! If anybody has any tips on what to expect that would be appreciated!

One annoying thing though, we are supposed to get our results for the scan, bloods and SA on Monday in our consultation. DH now has to work then and can't get out of it so we've had to get the next available appointment which is... in 3 weeks! I can't believe it's gone from Monday to 3 weeks away.

The thing is they have told me the SA results are pretty much ready that day as DH does the specimen the same place that has the lab, my scan results are given there and then and it just takes 24 hours for the bloods. So I was saying to DH surely they can just give us the SA and bloods via email and we don't have to wait 3 weeks to see them? I would rather we try and interpret them ourselves than wait 3 weeks for the actual consultation.

@lemons44 what type of scan are you having? Ahh that’s annoying, although it’s not too bad. I had to wait 4 months for my last test results 😂3 weeks will whiz by. I was in your situation last year with bloods - I had them done and then had to wait for an appointment. I managed to get on my records on an app from my GP and I found the results. They didn’t look good! At least that’s how I interpreted them! So I was in utter panic until I could have an appointment a few days later where the GP reassured me and told me what they actually meant. X

@lemons44 yes we got our results literally 30 mins after my husband dropped his SA off in our appointment. So it can be done very quickly! Can you get the results without your DH? Or does he want to be present? I don't think my husband would care if I had appointments without him, but everyone is different.

Ladies I have a question... I'm about to run out of supplements, and for half of my supplements alone it's £100!! And I've been on them for several months and they've made literally no difference. Has anyone thrown in the towel on supps? Or am I nuts for considering stopping? Before all this TTC my periods were always bang on time, no spotting etc, so I'm wondering whether I go cold turkey? It's clear there's something not quite right and I doubt these supplements are going to make any difference... thoughts?

@LucyAnne34 I think it's just an internal pelvic scan to check all looks ok? I'm not entirely sure to be honest. This is part of a fertility testing package we have paid for as I thought I would just bite the bullet and go private for the initial tests (hence why I want the results quickly as they are getting £500 from me 😂). I don't even really understand what all the tests are for, I feel like I am just putting my womb in for an MOT so I know if it's road worthy 🤷🏻‍♀️

With regards to your panic.. that's why I am a bit worried about interpreting stuff myself! I will just frantically look on google and may not necessarily come up with the right answer. It might be safest for us to wait to talk to the Dr.

I did a test today at 13 DPO as wanted to do one before the scan tomorrow. BFN. So when AF arrives I will be onto cycle 13. Had a huge cry earlier but feel a bit better for letting it all out.

@BritInNZ wow that is quick!

I did ask if I could have the consultation on my own without DH but they said he would have to be on it too.

I can't really advise on supplements I'm afraid as I only take the 'seven seas trying for a baby' vitamins and omega supplements. I'm not clued up on any others yet so don't know how important they may be.

@lemons44 ahhh I see, I thought it was NHS. I’ve had a few internal scans and they are ok tbh. Not painful just a bit uncomfortable when they’re moving the probe to see your ovaries. The worst part for me was holding my wee 😂 But yeah, don’t panic yourself with results you might not understand. I get it’s frustrating though when you’ve paid and want them asap! Hope you’re ok, BFNs are the worst x

@Carla2601 haha ooo it’s nice to be deemed young but yes I’m same, I don’t feel it haha. Hope you are ok! I was very breathless in early pregnancy! It was deffo a symptom I noticed a lot. X

@BritInNZ it depends what you’re taking I guess? I’ve been poorly last few days and can’t stand taking tablets when I’m feeling sick etc so was worrying I hadn’t taken mine haha. I would say folic acid/methylfolate is good to always take when ttc. The only others I take are vitamin d and some for egg health (can’t remember their names). But I do sometimes wonder if they are pointless…sorry I can’t help much there! X

@LucyAnne34 gosh I take heaps! I have a pre-natal, omega, magnesium and zinc (plus vitamin d when it's winter). They're all high quality and SO expensive! I've emailed my nutritionist asking if they're totally necessary (she'll obviously say yes), but having to pay for monitored cycles and impending IVF I could really do without paying for things that I feel aren't making a difference!

@BritInNZ yeah it’s difficult isn’t it! Myself, I doubt most supplements will help me to get pregnant but only take the egg health ones as I’ve read research that says they can improve egg quality. Your pre natal is prob most important. I don’t take magnesium or zinc. Infact I have magnesium drops that I tried a while back recommended by a homeopath but they are absolutely vile 😂 I hope your nutritionist is honest with you about them! X

@BritInNZ so I have no idea of course but I gave up on supplements and my eggs turned out really well from this collection. I feel like you can only do what you can do and if monitored cycle feels like a better use of £££ (which I would feel too) then do that.

@LucyAnne34 oh yes they’re always saying how young I am - as opposed to the nhs who have me as geriatric….can’t win ‘em all 😂.

so I’m writing to you from my hospital bed, I’ve been admitted tonight and put on fluids. I cannot believe it’s test day so I’ve officially been pregnant for about 12 hours and I’ve managed this. Some people will do anything for attention. Haha I jest - I’m feeling a lot better being here and a lot less stressed and they seem to think the fact this is so bad is a good overall sign for the pregnancy so I’m holding onto that

@Carla2601 @LucyAnne34 I checked with my nutritionist and she said the main thing is my prenatal and omegas, everything else is a 'cherry on top' but if I'd rather save my money then that's completely fine.

I just spoke to the clinic and they can't fit me in for a monitored cycle this month, so I'm all scheduled for next month instead. They're actually prescribing letrozole and not clomid, so all my research was for nothing 😂 I'm actually glad we get one more month the natural way. I wanted to put this month off anyway but DH wanted me to progress, I think he's struggling a bit now, especially seeing me down. Im dreading how miserable I will be when AF arrives while on letrozole (it will add new hope I think) but just got take things a day at a time.

Sorry to hear you're in hospital @Carla2601! But sounds like your in the best place, especially if it's making you feel less stressed. Little bean is making their presence well and truly known already! I hope you're feeling better soon, keep us updated!

@lemons44 - The ultrasound scan was absolutely fine, i know its easier said than done but relaxing makes it a-lot easier, that is annoying about having to wait, i am such a worrier it would drive me round the bend. I have a feeling i will be doing a lot of waiting round after my NHS appointment next week.

@BritInNZ i know what you mean about supps, i even have a little pill box as i take that many but i am attached to the idea that they will help 🤷‍♀️

@LucyAnne34 - really pleases to hear all went well - although i get its frustrating not having any answers. The stats mentioned earlier reassured me a little that things take time. I have been eating a lot better the last 3 months and cutting out fizzy drinks i hope it helps my egg quality.

@Carla2601 - hope you are feeling better soo. You are in the best place x

I am due to ovulate in next 1-2 days and still no EWCM - really worrying this is the problem?? Something hormonal? Ive tried everything.

Also can anyone advise what the process is with NHS regarding first appointment and steps afterwards/waiting times in between?

@NatW2021 well I never get EWCM 😂 I just get watery CM, so can't really help. But maybe it will come today or tomorrow? Your ovulation might be different by a day or two too 😊

@NatW2021 thanks - I am just looking forward to getting it out the way now. I haven't done anything on NHS yet but from what I am seeing on mumsnet it can really depend on the region and how quick they are. Some people seem to have very quick tests/results but it seems some wait for a long time.

I only notice EWCM on some cycles and not others! Do you use pre-seed? It's supposed to mimic it, although I've been using it for about 6 months and it hasn't made a difference.

@Carla2601how are you feeling this morning?

DH decided he would do the specimen at the clinic as he is going straight from work so I am secretly hoping he isn't too nervous! Honestly I don't know how men do it... I'm no prude but there's no way I could do anything like that in a random clinic room 😳

@lemons44 you barely feel the internal ultrasound!! You'll be fine.

It is annoying to wait, but try to put it out your mind. The SA will give you somewhere to start at least.

@NatW2021 have you had any bloods at all or are you meaning fertility clinic waiting times? I'm London based so could only tell you my experience which so far has been really quick and smooth. I do think EWCM is quite important. It helps the sperm journey safely to the egg. I'm sure I've said this before but get yourself on evening primrose oil. It's works wonders and it's much better to increase your own 'fluid' than mimic with pre-seed. I watched something that said your own is much better than pre-seed. Equally, you could be getting EWCM internally - you can examine with your fingers (ekkk sorry). I get varying amounts each month, some months it's very very obvious, some less so. I take 500mg, but you can take a lot more than that and it's a cheap supplement.

@BritInNZ I totally get what you mean about tabs. It's so expensive and when you don't feel they're making a difference it just feels like a waste. The fertility consultant said Vit D and folic acid were essential. In the UK we are almost all lacking in Vit D. You have a healthy AMH, but I guess omega for egg equality is still worth taking. I take one that has omega and zinc combined. Maybe ditch the rest for a few months? Just make sure you're both in the best possible fertility health ahead of potential IVF was my advice from others, so we are working with that in mind.

Hope you're okay @Carla2601 - what drama!!! Keep us posted!

Back at work guys and those of you who have been on here a while will remember I sobbed at work when one of the girls told me she was pregnant - she leaves for mat leave next week. Crazy how time passes. My other friend who just got married is coming off the pill but said she isn't sure they'll start trying straight away. Other friends told us they're expecting a boy in August. Trying to just focus on myself and not get too flustered by others but it is so hard. OH has a few important appointments today (on a very busy work day so he is thrilled haha).

Xx

@NatW2021 i never get any CM of any description. Evening primrose oil daily from cd1 to ovulation worked for me but if not what’s that special lube called? We got obsessed with it on here for a while haha. Pre seed? @BritInNZ will remember if not. I’ve got gallons of it at home as obvs it couldn’t help us!

So nhs for me was actually quite quick (till they lost my results). Was something like:

• call with the consultant
• order blood tests (got a form in the post)
• get bloods done (it’s HIV, Hep etc)
• go through a form on the ohone

then once they get your bloods they can apply for your funding which where I am (South London) only actually takes a couple of weeks. Once you have funding approved you choose a clinic and that’s where a bit of a wait comes in

@NatW2021 for some reason it cut the end off my message - was just saying that’s only my experience so it might be different and others might have other bits to share

@lemons44 haha they somehow do it but i agree awks!!!

im feeling pretty lousy, they just came to see me to offer an X-ray but I don’t really want that because it’s a tiny risk but I don’t really want to take it so I’ve said no. Hoping I can go home to just have a proper sleep really I’ve had a load of iv drugs all night and beyond that I’m not sure what they can do - it’s more of a waiting game

@BritInNZ ah I’m glad the nutritionist was honest and not money making haha. Good to know.
@NatW2021 i get varying amounts of EWCM, sometimes it’s noticeable and sometimes not.
i went NHS route - I got fertility bloods done by GP in April 2021 and then had to push for fertility clinic referral in September (my bloods were out and they kept saying not to worry so I got them done again privately and they were still out and I was told by their gynaecologist to ask my GP for referral). I was referred in September 2021 and had my first appointment over the phone in January 2022. Had HSG procedure the week after and then a 4 month wait until my follow up last week. X