9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

Sounds like this!

@BritInNZ so random - honestly bodies are wild aren’t they!! Well if you’re totally fine that looks like a reasonable explanation so maybe just keep your eye out next month and see if anything similar happens. Cysts do come and go so probably just that as you say.

So in the interests and of my honest review of IVF the one bit I hadn’t been bothered about (aside from the insertion 😬) the progesterone pessaries are actually the only thing that’s given me any side effects. Granted they’re not awful but it’s like a dull ovary ache the grumbles along for the whole day. Who knew?! Not stopping me doing my normal activities but definitely not a pleasant experience haha.

Anyone have fun weekend plans?

@NatW2021 and @Carla2601 I have also had dog jokes as I have 2 fur babies. Someone said oh you’ve done the right thing choosing to have dogs. I was like hmmm yeah. I know she didn’t mean anything by it but I was annoyed. Like, you don’t know my journey!
Also, the light period gang - I have really light periods too! 2 days I’d say and I use 2 tampons for the first day - quite light bleed. And only one the second day! I do worry sometimes but have been told by GP it’s just an age thing…x

Hi ladies, I’m awful at keeping up with threads so I do apologise for missing a load of messages.

It is CD17 for me and going by OPKs and CBDM I ovulated yesterday or the day before so I’m about 1/2dpo. Had my usual two days of on and off ovulation pain/bloating and today my usual sore nipples have started which usually happens straight after ovulation. I have an almost three year old who still breastfeeds so that’s always fun around this time. We used preseed twice this cycle so hoping it works it’s magic, although had a load of ewcm a couple days prior. It was an orangey/brown colour.. anybody had that before?

Good luck for this cycle ladies!!! 🤞🏻

Can’t quite believe this is my update but all 12 have made it to day 3! 6 are exactly how they want them to be, 5 are good and one is lagging behind a bit (it’s the fragmentation I think they’re grading but I couldn’t really understand on the phone so I’ll ask more detail and on Monday and share). Your good vibes have all clearly helped so TYSM!

Also, we’re Killing Eve fans so the crew is now referred to as the 12, haha.

Happy Saturday all!

@Carla2601 Sooo pleased for you! You must be feeling pretty hopeful 🥰

I’ve just found out my friend I went to college with is 32 weeks pregnant with her THIRD baby. She had her first 6 months AFTER I had mine and now she’s on to her third. Life feels cruel today 😔

Ah @L0ts I’m sorry - if it helps at all my bro and his wife just announced their pregnant with their third so I feel your pain (and then you feel horrible for feeling that way so it’s double bad)

@Carla2601 this is amazing news!!! Are you nervous for Monday?! Or just pure excited?! I can't wait for the next week or so to see how you get on! And just think, if all goes to plan and you're pregnant this month, you'll have all those embabies on ice for the future! I have everything crossed for you!

@BritInNZ ha I love this enthusiasm! I’m nervous about it not working (even at this point it’s still more likely not to result in a baby than to result in a baby) so I’m scared for my already a bit beaten up heart. But I am excited too, we’ve got a lovely morning planned after the transfer so I think whatever happens (providing nothing terrible changes with the embryos) Monday will be a good day. And I’m definitely trying to be one step at a time and trying to enjoy the milestones

@Carla2601 that is amazing news! I’m sending positive vibes for the next steps! ❤️ Xx

@Carla2601 Amazing news! Good luck today 💗 xxxx

@Carla2601 that is truly amazing. Good luck today. Thinking of you ❤️

Good luck @Carla2601 ! Keep us updated

@LucyAnne34 @NatW2021 @Tinkerbell098 @lemons44 TYSM you’re all so lovely to send messages! I’ve had more here than from my IRL friends you’re the best!!!

Will give a little update later on and hope you all have a good start to the week x

Hey Ladies - CD1 today, on to cycle 11. I had a tough few days but i find i am more emotional the days leading up rather than the first day of AF so i am actually not so bad today. Holiday booked for 5 weeks time and i really cant wait to escape tracking and analysing for two weeks as hopefully ill be having to much fun to think twice! 🤞 hope everyone is doing ok? X

@NatW2021im the same - it’s the awful bit before that’s the worst! So exciting where are you off to?

@Carla2601 - i know i think i was just really disappointed this cycle as been making so many changes. I am going to Mexico, first holiday in 3 years and i am so excited!! X

@NatW2021 completely understandable - I remember trying new things (we’re cycle 20) and you feel optimistic and like that will be the thing that fixes whatever this unknown issue is and then when it doesn’t it’s even more disappointment and upsetting and you feel even worse than before. Keep them going though because sometimes the changes take a little while to have an effect I think.

Mexico will be amazing!!!! A really great tonic to all of this and you definitely deserve it. I hope you’re shopping for cute holiday stuff!

Hi everyone :)
I'm fully aware that this thread is extremely busy but I hope you don't mind me joining? I am starting to lose the will to live and feeling ever so alone. :(
My husband and I had a MMC in October (we fell pregnant in August the first time trying after having my implant out in June and knew it was too good to be true!) I had an ERPC and we have been trying again ever since with no luck - my periods seem to be a little all over the place. I ovulate pretty regularly around CD14 but my luteal phase seems to vary massively - does anyone know why this might be? I am wondering if I may have low progesterone.
In addition to all of this, ovulation is quite painful for me and I seem to get - what I think is - functional cysts quite often. This cycle just gone (not trying, as we decided to have a month off) I definitely had some sort of cyst on my left ovary. I went out and had a few drinks with my friends on Saturday and ended up having a panic attack and came on my period the next morning (CD20 !! not expecting period for another 8 days?!) I don't have anxiety and have never had a panic attack so am wondering if this could be related to the cyst.
As much as I love the NHS, I feel so unsupported in trying to navigate this journey and understand what's going on with my body. If anybody has any insight to any of my rambles, I'd really love to hear from you. You seem like a lovely bunch of girls :)
@NatW2021 - I am now CD2 so only one day ahead of you! I also booked a holiday to see if the 'relax' approach might work, however I booked it for end April when I should have been ovulating but now this extremely early period has screwed up my plan. :( lol. x

@Carla2601 how was the transfer?! How are you feeling?

@Koalie welcome to the thread everyone here is super nice.

So sorry to hear about your MMC - I have no idea but I’ve had a transfer today and apparently you can’t have too much progesterone (although taking it is fairly unpleasant) worth checking but my understanding is it couldn’t do any harm (don’t take my word for it of course!!!)

@BritInNZ and everyone. Transfer was ok thanks! Full transparency it was pretty uncomfortable. Like a smear but I think a bigger metal thing (not sure what it’s called) and in there for a lot longer. And I felt like I was tense and shaking and I didn’t want to knock the docs hand so it was all a bit more stressful and less cute than I’d expected but still not that bad at all really.

We were really lucky we had a really good blast to use and 5-7 more to freeze (not as good this one was apparently amazing but still good) so it couldn’t really have gone better but again in the interest of being really really honest with you all I found it completely overwhelming. I cried (hidden) whilst they were doing it and then we went for breakfast and I got baked eggs (you don’t have to follow any pregnancy advice at this stage) and they were undercooked (you know just a bit snotty but TOTALLY FINE) which inexplicably made me cry again and then we went to a baby shop because I figured this could be the closest I ever get so I wanted to know what it would feel like to buy something for your own baby and I picked out an elephant toy and then I cried again. So in summary it was a lot and I’m not sure I coped as well as I could have. I’m not even sure what tears they were really 😂🙈.

Feeling loads better now and aforementioned jelly cat elephant now holding the ‘scan photo’ (generous description it’s just a bright white dot where the blast is but it’s special to me and I showed my best friend who made all the right noises haha).

Hope you’ve all had good Mondays (and start to Tuesdays for you in NZ!) x

Welcome @Koalie I have found this group really helpful as there is a lot of support on here. I'm so sorry to hear about your MMC. Have you asked your doctor for a pelvic scan to check for cysts?

@Carla2601 thank you for such an honest update. It sounds like you was so brave yesterday. I think you should be kind to yourself, it must be such an emotional process (as well as physically demanding on your body!) and you are allowed to feel overwhelmed and have a cry. I really hope that for the rest of the week you have a few treats planned too, even if it's just a nice face mask or bubble bath in the evenings. What is the next stage in the journey?

@NatW2021 holiday sounds amazing!

@lemons44 I feel SO much better today! I think it was all just a bit much yesterday haha.

And even better news - 8 more blasts in the freezer so we got 9 in total from the 12 fertilised eggs. The clinic were really happy and so am I. So that’s definitely helped.

How are you feeling?

Just thought I’d update you all that I’ve lost my pregnancy.
Confirmed as no longer having a heart beat and it’s a failed pregnancy.
Have to wait for the rest of it to happen though.

Really not sure where this leaves me and if we will ttc again. All feels a bit much atm to face.

Hope you’re all okay xx