9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@Tinkerbell098 I think you’re right with what your consultant has said. I think that’s why they say after 12 months there’s likely an issue preventing it. I think there will always be people you hear about who it’s taken 13,14,18 months naturally but I guess it depends on how long you’re prepared to wait.

For me personally I am 35 so I don’t want to hang around much longer, I would rather get to the bottom of the issue now. Also, my two children are getting older and ideally I don’t want a huge age gap as I wanted three children so they had a close relationship and I think if it doesn’t happen soon then it’ll defeat the purpose of what I wanted to have a third baby for.

I think for me it’s going to be egg quality which is probably the worst thing it could be. Unless it’s some kind of damage from my section but they’ve told me it’s unlikely. As you say though, we’re not likely to get a true diagnosis until we start IVF

@Tinkerbell098 -i would have to pay for my Hycosy but clinic require a GP referral dont know why?

Just home after a nice few days away - just hope the relaxing in the hot tub didnt do to much damage!

@Carla2601 - sorry if you have mentioned this before, are you taking anything to help egg quality? I am 34 and worry about this too - i am taking a few things and trying to eat a varied diet to help

@NatW2021 hope you had a nice time away. Sorry if you've already said, has your OH had a SA done and normal? If so, don't worry about it damaging sperm. My DH uses the hot tub in the gym about three days a week, for about 20-30 mins each time. His SA is good and the consultant said if the SA is good, using the hot tub here an there won't have an impact as he produces loads.
Ah that makes sense about the Hycosy. I meant the GP said no to refer me to get it done on the NHS, sorry I misunderstood.

We've just booked a holiday for next month to enjoy whilst we can before the crazy IVF protocols start, which means summer is out for us to do anything normal. Something to look forward to and keep my mind off worrying about IVF.

@Tinkerbell098 - yes he has had it done it was all normal/average think it was 33 million per ml so total count was 99million, could be better but could be worse, he has been taken wellman conception for awhile now and cutting back on the baths as he uses to have one most days. My nutritionist also recommended cq10 for him and he's agreed to take it (you know what men are like with supplements😂) i take about 10 a day!

Aw lovely something to look forward too - we have time off booked for May and want to get abroad so just hanging fire for one more cycle then ill book it. Its nice to get away from the craziness of it all - i dont know about you but i find i am more chilled during AF as i know i am not in limbo guessing/symptom spotting etc, x

@NatW2021 haha yea, my OH has also started on supplements from last month and I still have to remind him in the mornings and if I don't, he doesn't and just leaves for work. He also takes CoQ10. Hope that's improved things a bit more. Basically doing everything we can to improve chances of IVF. CD1 is always hard for me, but the rest of AF as you said is more chilled and feel like it's a fresh cycle, fresh start sort of thing.

@Tinkerbell098 - they all just cost a fortune but what can you do? As you said earlier we are lucky to be able to afford it (although wish i didn't have to spend money on these things)

It's funny everyone saying about cost of supplements and having to force their partners to take theirs... my nutritionist has me and DH on omega 3 fish oil and it's like pulling teeth getting him to remember to take it! I was like 'it's two pills, one in the morning and one in the evening. If I can manage my 30 million, you can manage 2' 😂 and we looked through our accounts and the big spends are fertility doctor, nutritionist, supplements... that's what all my savings goes in it's crazy! I had 3 appointments with my nutritionist and she said I'm nailing it so just to have another one if I need it. All my bloods were perfect, so that was great - although very annoying as it doesn't explain why it's not happening for us! I have been taking magnesium in the evenings to help balance my progesterone so I will find out if it's helped at all on Tuesday, which is when my pre-AF spotting usually begins.

TTC is totally crap. But NZ borders are finally opening so I feel like I can't focus on something else - getting back to the UK for a visit after 3 years away! Thought I'd be pregnant by then, but ah well.

Just catching up with all the messages on here. Had some time away which I think we needed as with work and TTC stress I was not in the best place

Glad to see some positive news on here but sorry to see that results of tests are not what everyone wants.

Trying to just DTD this month when we want rather than trying to force it around FW as it just gets so draining after a while. The highs and lows of the journey are a rollercoaster

Omg, I agree with you all … supplements are so expensive! I treated myself to some that are supposed to good for hair 😂 It’s called Double hair, so if it does at least 1/10th of its’ job I’ll be happy. 🙈 I just had to buy something for my soul too, because everything else was added to my routine for “fertility” sake. And I’m not even counting how much it cost me, but everytime we run out of just one it’s 20€ at least. 😬

I’m glad we have a good health system here, so most procedures are free with a bit of waiting. When my gp referred me for laparoscopy and hysteroscopy I checked when I could get it, and it’s no more than a 14 day wait. I still have to get through three cycles of Clomid first (I hope I don’t have to and we concieve before) though.

How’s everyone else doing? :)
I’m currently taking OPKs to see when I will ovulate … I’m on CD12 and supposed to ovulate 5-10 days after my last Clomid pill. Unfortunately my gp didn’t say anything about doing ultrasound while waiting for O to happen, so I’m just taking opks. 😬

@Hoping43 / @Carla2601 we have male factor infertility as DH has a large varicocele which is resulting in much of his sperm not swimming. In theory he has a high enough count for us to conceive but it hasn't happened yet (next cycle is cycle 9). Just waiting for him to book in to have it removed. Everything takes so long. Feel less down this cycle but that's probably as I'm still in TWW and AF hasn't hit yet. Maybe a different story on Monday 😂

@FlyOnTheWall89 I had my hycosy on CD7 and was still light spotting then which wasn't an issue. I did have a fair bit of continued spotting after it I assume as it irritated my cervix a bit. Have you booked yours in?

In terms of supplements all I take is folic, vitamin D and inositol. Maybe I should be taking more? DH Impryl costs a small fortune though.

Hope everyone is enjoying the glorious sunshine if it's with you today!

@OK92 No I'll call today as AF has arrived early so that was only a 27 day cycle. The fertility clinic said Vit D and folic acid are a must. He wasn't bothered about anything else but depends on your situation I guess. As my AMH is low ish I am taking the Vital DHA and Ubiquinol to help egg quality. My OH gets really bad bloating for Proxeed/ his other tablets which is putting him off taking them. He is persisting but through gritted teeth. This is taking its toll on us at the moment. X

@BritInNZ yes the biggest cost for me (other than my dog's pet insurance LOL) is supplements. I usually get it in bulk about 3 months' worth as there are some discounts (no faith in falling pregnant within 3 months haha!). In March we usually get our pay increase, and it's sad that when they announced how much extra I'd get, my initial thought was, oh, that will cover part of the monthly supplements. Acupuncture is also costing me loads, but now we have decreased it to every 6 weeks, rather than every week or every two weeks that I had to do at the start. I will have to increase the frequency when I start IVF though. I so envy those who fall pregnant naturally with none of these. It really shouldn't be this hard! Thought we as a species were designed to procreate!

@OK92 I had some spotting after the HSG for about a couple of days, I think it's to do with the procedure and it's normal.

@OK92 ah it seems like lots of people on this thread have MFI. 9 months (although it feels it) is still within a normal time frame. My second baby took 8 months. I hope everything goes well for you x

@FlyOnTheWall89 just s question on low AMH and supplements - did you mean to say DHEA for egg quality? In "it starts with the egg" they recommend DHEA and CoQ10, rather than DHA. Or am I confusing myself?

@Tinkerbell098 I think they are two different things.

Just out of interest, has anyone’s consultant recommended coq10? I’ve been taking it for around 5 months but obviously no luck yet. I was listening to a video on CARE website the other day and they said there’s no proof for any supplements 😕

@Tinkerbell098 - i was taking the vita west dha - i had my testosterone checked and it ever so slightly top end of normal - i read up on dha afterwards as i remember my endocrinologist pulling a face when i told him i was faking it and apparently too much can cause more harm than good if your body is already producing enough. You would have to read up properly but they advise to test levels before supplementing so i stopped it.

@Hoping43 - my nutritionist advised me and hubby to take it - i think there us mixed research. She also recommended myo inositol and i read up it can help egg quality and give it the energy it needs to move down the fallopian tube so going to add that on pay day 😂 its also supposed to be good for balancing hormones.

@NatW2021 thank you. I have read about that too but I thought it was more for PCOS 🤷🏼‍♀️

@NatW2021 I think DHA is a fatty acid and DHEA is a hormone. According to ISWTE book, she says that only take DHEA if your testosterone levels are at lower end of normal, which is the case for me and is related to low ovarian reserve. She says start with 25 mg if you're not sure and says stay away if you have PCOS. I haven't taken these however, but am considering now that my AMH is looking low. DHA however is safe and you find it in fatty fish.

www.pullingdownthemoon.com/dhea-and-dha-commonly-confused-fertility-supplements

@Hoping43 i know sometimes i just get sucked into it all - People get pregnant at the drop of a hat without any supplements/diet changes so sometimes i do wonder if any of it makes a difference but i suppose if you are deficient in a vitamin it can only help. I am feeling a bit blah today! Just keep worrying and worrying that this isnt going to happen and how i can muster the strength to do it all over again and again. I just fed up feeling sad.

@NatW2021 I know, my friend who is an anaesthetist having a placement in the mat ward said they get so many mothers who are meth addicts delivering babies. That made me so sad, one, because they really don't care about the health of their child and being irresponsible parents already, two, here I am trying to cut down caffeine to get pregnant. This world is so not fair!!

@Tinkerbell098 - i know you hear far to many stories and its so hard to see and also think why so easy for them and not us? I try my best to see this as some sort of life experience that i will come out the other end a more patient and understanding person. I feel abit OTT as its only been 10 months and some been trying a lot longer but i really dont know long u can carry on feeling depressed.

@Tinkerbell098 @NatW2021 It’s so annoying some people who don’t really look after themselves very well can just get pregnant and here we are researching every supplement under the sun 🤦‍♀️

I’m only taking pre conception vitamins atm , although wondering if I need to add in anything else. Honestly sometimes feel if someone told me to run round the garden naked during the full moon and I’d get pregnant I’d probably do it 🤣I tried to get the OH to take some as well but I felt like such a nag reminding him every day because he’d just forget.

@Tinkerbell098 please can you remind me of your AMH? I wish I could get mine but they won’t give it me over the phone so I have to wait for my appt on 29th.

@NatW2021 I don’t know what to say but I know exactly how you feel. I’m on cycle 12 now. Have you had any issues diagnosed? More confusing for me is it’s my third baby so how can I have two but not three?! It’s mind boggling xx

@Sweetpeasandpeonies - that made me chuckle😂 isnt there some sort of place on the west coast that is supposed to be some ritual for fertility?? Im never saying never haha.

@Hoping43 - i know its just madness! How old is youngest? What i find mind boogling - i ovulate - hubby sperm is ok - we have sex what is the bloody problem??? I am 34 and wish i wouldnt have waites so long now!

@NatW2021my youngest is 2.5 but been trying since he was 1.5. You just think what can have gone so wrong in that time. It’s just crazy frustrating (and heartbreaking, devastating, all the other words you could use to describe).

Have you seen a specialist? X