9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@OK92 not getting pregnant easily definitely makes you have a different appreciation for your existing children for sure. You really realise how precious they are and how lucky you are to have them. I look at my second and think if we had left it any longer then we might never have got him. I just can’t comprehend how illogical it seems.

I’m sorry, I don’t know your story either? X

@Hoping43 that stat can’t be right! And if it is then that is very depressing for all of us lol. Googling is the devil. A lot of stuff you read isn’t even true x

@Hoping43 @LucyAnne34 I actually read that stat too... it's actually 2-4% chance each month, which is absolutely terrifying isn't it?! And IUI is only 7-10% chance of success. I watched it on a YouTube video when searching about unexplained infertility... I went down an awful rabbit hole!

@BritInNZ so the longer you’re trying the less chance each month of getting pregnant?? I just thought you had the same chance as everyone else each month (as long as there’s nothing technically ‘wrong’). I’m deffo gunna ask my consultant about that coz it makes me sad :(

@LucyAnne34 it's basically once you're over the year mark and all your tests show there are no problems so you're 'unexplained' then it's only 2-4% chance each month. But yes it made me really sad too and it was a rabbit hole I wish I hadn't gone down!

@BritInNZ where did you read that? I wanna have a look. Can’t understand where that number would have come from coz it seems so much lower than the chance for someone with issues. X

@LucyAnne34 @BritInNZ sorry for making everyone go down the rabbit hole 😔 xx

@LucyAnne34 here's the video, but beware, it's obviously quite depressing: m.youtube.com/watch?v=eJQXGbci6HA

@Hoping43 it’s ok. But I think it’s worth saying that there’s a lot of reassuring stats out there too. Let’s try and stay positive!! X

@BritInNZ Thankyou. I still don’t understand why it’s so much lower 🤣 I like to answers so it’s hard for me haha. X

@LucyAnne34 yes I have no idea. But there's still hope - it's happened for people in this group 😊

@BritInNZ yes true. And me at 14 months. So yes, let’s not lose hope 🥰

@FlyOnTheWall89 and @Tinkerbell098 I probably should have been clearer….it’s an extra curricular at work, so I have zero HR skills (for WHEN you all have mat leave questions, I’m not your gal haha!). But it is nice to work on it and try to make a tiny difference for us lot of the future. Some companies are doing a great job in this space already, there’s a #showusyourleave campaign that’s good. Reddit seem to be the best.

@tinkerbell; I agree re funding, it’s so difficult as I understand a line has to be drawn somewhere….but same sex couples also aren’t eligible which is surely just discrimination!! And an only child (whilst I’d bite someone’s hand off for one) is also a big decision. I know there’s not a bottomless pit but this area feels underfunded given the impact it has and the overwhelming sorrow it brings for people regardless of their situation.

@OK92 all of the emotions is the perfect summary - I cried on a train the other day and an old man came over to check on me and I wanted to shout WHO AM I! I also worked a festival all weekend then went to newcastle and back in a day Monday….so maybe a touch tired too haha. How are you doing?

Even maternity pay info isn't my contract, let alone anything about time off for infertility treatment so you HAVE to email HR to find out which isn't ideal at all @Carla2601 .

An inevitability but my temps are sliding down quickly now so AF is around the corner. God it's tough. I'm really dreading this HSG too. 😢

X

Morning everyone - just been catching up on the thread. My AF arrived Wednesday 😢 i am over the feeling sad about it and still trying to be hopeful for this cycle, sorry for TMI but my period seems a little heavier which i am taking as a positive as hopefully hormones are balancing out better 🤞

We are going to DTD every other day then peak and ovulation and use preseed! Here we go again!!

@Hoping43 - that stat is rather depressing isnt it - i am sure i read its 85% in first year then 95% in year 2?

@Carla260. - wow i didn't even know companies did that (ill have to check mine out) great work trying to sort it out for future colleagues.

@NatW2021 yes I read that. It’s probably right though. The cumulative % over 12 months if the monthly chance is 2-4% is probably 10%. Statistics isn’t my forte but I’m guessing that probably corresponds 🙄 x

@FlyOnTheWall89 that’s terrible! We need a complete overhaul of how these things are managed because it’s just not good enough. Sorry you’ve got that on top of everything else.

Re HSG, you’ve got this, you can do it. I try to think of it all as practice for pregnancy and labour (on my positive days, on my bad ones I just cry about it all 😂) if that’s any help at all. Could you plan something simple but lovely for afterwards? Get your favourite bath stuff, food, and film downloaded or something? So you’ve got something to look forward to for afterwards

@BritInNZ thanks for sharing that video. However depressing it is, I think my consultant was saying a similar thing when she suggested IVF for me. She said with the current fertility diagnostics we have, it's not possible to see the full picture, and people don't fully get diagnosed until they attempt IVF. Going through IVF helps answer a lot of the issues that someone maybe having internally, whether it is in the fertilisation process or the implantation process and so on. This was her reason to push me towards IVF rather than going through laparoscopy to clear my tube as she said there must be something else going on that we can't see, as technically with a fully functioning right tube, I should have been able to fall pregnant by now. She seemed to think the issues were perhaps in the fertilisation process, which can be eliminated through IVF. Sorry to depress everyone, I'm just repeating what the doctor said and to say there is some truth to the video BritNz shared.

@FlyOnTheWall89 my BBT is also plummeting, AF due on Monday. It is very depressing. Really don't worry about the HSG. My pain threshold is so low, I freak out every time I have a blood test. But the HSG pain wasn't too bad, it doesn't last for that long. Maximum 2 minutes and it's definitely not unbearable. Just think happy thoughts and yes as Carla said, plan for something nice to do afterwards. We had a take away and watched a film. You've got this :)

@Carla2601 oh I didn't know about same sex couples, that's definite inequality there! I was telling DH the other day that we were lucky we could afford to see a private consultant and have all these tests done so fast to then get referred to IVF. A majority of people would have had to wait over a year to get to this stage (I'm still waiting for my NHS referral to come through - it's been over 7 months!).

Just checking in - I tend to dip in and out of this thread

About 5DPO on cycle 11 here. Was going to book the private fertility tests and then got so busy with work that before I knew it I was in the FW again and thought I may as well have one more cycle trying before getting tests. I think to be honest I am burying my head in the sand with the tests and putting it off. I need to just get the ball rolling really.

It's a bit depressing here about the percentages just thought I would add that one of my friends got pregnant on cycle 12 also those stats would be for people having regular sex. I don't know about you girls but me and DH have definitely had some cycles where we have put in more effort than others! So maybe it should be taken with a pinch of salt 🧂

@lemons44 definitely get the ball rolling as you don't know how long you'll have to wait for tests etc. I can't speak for everyone, but me and DH have definitely putting in a LOT of effort over the past few months and it doesn't end with DTD. Diet, exercise, yoga, acupuncture, supplements, OPKs, BBT charting, everything I can do to help, which is why it's a HUGE disappointment each month when I get AF, having done everything we can.

@lemons44 hope cycle 12 is lucky for you!

@Tinkerbell098 @Carla2601 thanks guys. I am due AF on Monday too but it should all be over by Wed/Thurs. Do you think they would do one on CD5? If not it will have to be next month.

The fertility doctor also said if they find anything during IVF then they cancel the cycle, sort out the problem first and then you start again... I think if you've already had collection, then with frozen eggies. I will watch vid above later. x

@Tinkerbell098 - i know what you mean about trying anything and everything! Each cycle i try something new and i think it gives me a little hope but its horrible when AF arrives.
I am hoping all my new supplements diet and thyroid medication is kicking in now and its just a matter of time. I am going to speak to my GP about sending a referral for Hycosy end send all our results over then least that i way i can just call up an book the date in for next cycle if AF shows again.

@lemons44 - i know its hard but i would try get the ball rolling if i would have waited i would never have known about my thyroid, inflammation and low vit D all of which can impact fertility.

@FlyOnTheWall89 I think it depends on the clinic. The clinic I used for some reason only did it between days 9-12, which was a bit strange (may be the cervical position is better on those days, who knows!). But I think most clinics say anytime before day 12 (per ovulation). I don't think they mind if you're still bleeding/spotting. Also they might only be doing it on certain days, so best to ring up and ask. Interesting about cancelling the cycle, it makes sense to if they find anything wrong. I also know they won't transfer if the lining isn't thick enough/ if you're more at risk for OHSS and so on. Did they mention anything about genetic screening (PGS I think it's called)? Not sure if that's something they do as a standard or if you have to request it.

@NatW2021 it would be good if your GP could refer you to HSG/hycosy as mine said she can't as it needs to come from a consultant. She does give me false information so I wouldn't be surprised if that was a complete lie. Fingers crossed your supplements have kicked in and would start showing improvements in your thyroid and so on.