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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC 4th baby at 39

397 replies

Hopetobeamumof4 · 03/06/2021 15:39

Hi girls,

I am so frustrated. I’ve been trying to conceive my fourth since feb. All 28-35 day cycles and no joy: this last cycle has been 45 days so far with me ovulating on cd32. Pregnancy test is negative today 😭 the doctor is not interested but has said he will test to see if I’m peri menopausal. I conceived first month with my other three. This is a new partner but he has a child so I don’t get what the problem is. Sorry I just needed to rant to someone who may understand x

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PinkGinFizz1978 · 03/06/2021 20:40

Hi 😀
I could have wrote this post myself. So I 100% know how frustrating it is 😢
I am 43 and TTC baby 5 (also a new partner who has children) I have been off the pill for a year and just last month had my 1st period. We have been trying for over a year...like you with the other 4 I fell pregnant in the first couple of months. However this time I know age is a major factor. We are not sure if we want tests re peri menopause or sperm quality... just going to leave it to fate..
I know we are really really lucky we have 7 children between us but would love just one together 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

Hopetobeamumof4 · 03/06/2021 23:13

So hard isn’t it? It’s all I think about and it’s tiring! What cycle day are you on now? We could support each other. Surely with our past super fertility this will happen? Right? x

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Sunnytimes21 · 04/06/2021 00:20

Hi, 40 here and trying for no 4 with my partner of 19 months. He has no children and I didn't expect to be trying for my 4th but here I am. We've been trying for 3 cycles but didn't dtd on cycle 2 within any viable days. I fell at 12 months with my first, 3 months with my second, 1 month with my third. I'm almost thinking it'll be a miracle and can't imagine we'll be lucky enough to have a bundle of joy. Read all sorts re 5% chance at 40 and have felt down about it. But have also heard many positive stories too. A few years ago I was happy with my 3, but have finally met a decent DP...Took a few years of mistakes and a bit of old age wisdom Wink. Let's support each other

Hopetobeamumof4 · 04/06/2021 14:01

Hi sunnytimes! I’ve also read the statistics and have thought to myself about surely there must be more chance of conceiving faster based on our past conceptions. When you want it to happen you really want it don’t you. My partner says if it doesn’t happen he’s fine with that and wants to be with me regardless. But I do worry about him being unfulfilled. He does have a 7 year old though. I want a baby so bad now x

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Hopetobeamumof4 · 04/06/2021 14:03

Meant to say I’m on cycle day 46 now. No period and no positive. I have no idea what’s going on with my body 😓 doctor said to book in for a blood test during my period and also day 21 but I can’t do that unless it comes 😭😭😭 so so annoying x

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Sunnytimes21 · 04/06/2021 14:25

Yep, I never imagined I'd be wanting a baby so badly at 40 and with 3 already! It would feel like the icing on the cake. My partner says he never wanted children until we met and now he's keen. He thinks I'd be a good mum to our baby and that we'd be a great family. No pressure lol. I love kids and now have an amazing relationship so want nothing more than a family with him.

My cycles are 26 days long and periods last 3 days since having the copper coil removed in Feb. Cycles seem short but ov confirmed with bbt rises and lh strips. I've heard mention of the 21 day thing but not sure what that is?

Hopetobeamumof4 · 06/06/2021 17:48

How we getting on girls? Good weekend? I tested again today and still negative. So bizarre x

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Sunnytimes21 · 06/06/2021 21:28

Good weekend had here thank you Smile. We had our first pfizer jabs today, was holding off to see if it affected fertility, but studies seem to be saying its OK. On cd 6 and off to Butlins this weekend with my ds, so dp is in for it on Friday afternoon and Sunday eve 😁. Must be very frustrating having long cycles. I think that's normal as ladies approach 40, but frustrating all the same x

Hopetobeamumof4 · 06/06/2021 22:30

I had mine too! I asked when she gave me mine and she said it was fine. Least we’ll be protected to some degree now! Oh wow have a lovely time at butlins and lucky dp hey 😂 x

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Hopetobeamumof4 · 08/06/2021 09:19

Cycle day 1 for me here! 50 day cycle and finally got period. Got my blood test this week! X

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Sunnytimes21 · 14/06/2021 14:38

Hi @Hopetobeamumof4, hope the blood tests went well, soon be ovulation day for you! Mine is today and we've managed to dtd every day apart from on Saturday (including lunch today Grin). 1dpo tomorrow and the tww begins. I've emailed my doc saying this month is month 5...they told me to contact them if it gets to 6mths and nothing, I'm getting in there early. Hope you had a lovely weekend, Butlins was lots of fun in this great weather!

Hopetobeamumof4 · 20/06/2021 11:58

How’s it going Sunnytimes? Had my first blood test which was my fsh and all normal. So that’s good. Got my second in a few weeks. How’s the two week wait going? X

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Sunnytimes21 · 20/06/2021 13:11

@Hopetobeamumof4 all well here although the tww is horrible as per. 7dpo today and did a one step but obs too early to test!

Thats good news re your bloods. Fingers crossed you ovulate sooner rather than later 🤞.I've been in touch with my doc and will be doing tests if negative this month. Not getting any younger so want to maximise our chances.

Hopetobeamumof4 · 20/06/2021 16:49

I have tested from day 6 every month even though I know it will be negative regardless 😂 it’s so hard as you just want to know. I hope I ovulate soon, I used to have 32 day cycles so when based on that can’t be too long. I’d definitely have the blood tests if you can, can’t hurt to know what’s going on but I bet you’ll be absolutely fine. Fingers crossed for you this month. When you testing next? X

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Sunnytimes21 · 20/06/2021 20:05

Me too 😁. I did a second one this evening lol. I bought 50 cheap tests last month, I can do them twice daily without damaging the bank balance too much. I've been good this month and not bought any frer's...yet.

I'm definitely ovulating, bbt has confirmed that but it would be nice to make sure there's nothing else which needs addressing x

Hopetobeamumof4 · 21/06/2021 12:23

Can’t be too long before it would show up! I hope you get your bfp! So exciting x

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Hopetobeamumof4 · 24/06/2021 14:33

Any news sunnytimes? X

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Sunnytimes21 · 24/06/2021 16:19

11 dpo and bfn on frer (I caved) so think I'm most likely out. I was feeling very depressed about it this morning. Then my 20 year old dd was diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder this afternoon. She's 350 miles away at uni so that's put some perspective on focusing on what I do have, rather than what I don't.
How are you feeling about things?

Sunnytimes21 · 24/06/2021 16:22

I've also booked an initial doc appointment for myself and dp for 13th July. So we're starting the ball rolling with tests x

Hopetobeamumof4 · 24/06/2021 17:07

You’re not out until af arrives. Don’t be too disheartened but I do know how you feel. It seems like forever to wait until the next opportunity to try as well. Do you know how I’m trying to look at it…that it’s not right that month for what ever reason. That it’s not meant to be. I’m trying to trust in the process but so hard! You’re not out yet, there is still time. I hope your daughter is ok, such a worry!

I’m on day 16 and no ovulation symptoms at all. It’s strange. Just got to wait it out I guess and go for my final blood test on Tuesday so see what that says.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you and me x

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Hopetobeamumof4 · 27/06/2021 13:17

I ovulated this weekend so keeping my fingers crossed! X

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Hopetobeamumof4 · 27/06/2021 15:32

This is positive right? X

TTC 4th baby at 39
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Moominmiss · 27/06/2021 16:27

@Hopetobeamumof4 I just wanted to say I was in your position a while ago.

I have 3 children with my ex husband. I’m 38 (soon to be 39). Have been with my partner for 4 years now. He’s younger than me by 8 years and has no children of his own.

I conceived my 3 children extremely easily, within 2 months of ttc each time. But I was 32 last time I was pregnant with my youngest.

We started ttc in September 2019, and amazingly fell pregnant in October. I sadly miscarried at 9 weeks.

I then went onto have 2 more miscarriages in the next few months. So for me it seemed I could still get pregnant but likely my age was the contributing factor to my eggs being old and just not sticking.

Thankfully I had a very supportive GP who referred me to a fertility consultant. We were seen within 6 weeks. This was in the summer of 2020.

I had blood tests done on day 3 and day 21, my partner had a semen analysis done, and I had scans to check my follicle count and overall condition of my ovaries and uterus.

All test results were brilliant and showed no reason for not being able to keep hold of a pregnancy.

I’d been tracking my ovulation with ovulation tests, but out of desperation bought an OvuSense monitor to track my ovulation more precisely using core body temp - I knew I could never stick to the routine of having to take my own bbt every morning at the same time etc, so this took the hassle out of it. I just woke in the morning and synced the monitor to my phone.

My cycles could range from 29 days up to 36. But I found I was ovulating later around cd22.

The fertility consultant basically said there was no more she could do for me as I already had children.

I was taking 300mg ubiquinol every day as it’s very good for older women ttc as it helps improve egg quality.

I also started taking the higher dose folic acid, and a higher dose of vitamin d.

I also decided to try soy isoflavones (like the natural form of clomid). I took it on days 2-6 and it brought my ovulation forward to cd14. Each cycle I took them my ovulation was at a more ‘normal’ time.

I went onto fall pregnant again. In that time between seeing the consultant and getting my BFP I’d read lots about aspirin helping to sustain a pregnancy. I tried to get hold of the consultant or my GP to ask whether I should start taking it. Sadly I didn’t hear back from anyone and unfortunately miscarried again before I could start on it.

I decided then that when we started ttc again after that miscarriage I would take aspirin as I felt I had nothing left to lose.

When we did start ttc again, I took 150mg aspirin from 1dpo. I got a bfp at 8dpo and amazingly the lines on my tests progressed brilliantly, and the bleeding never came.

I had a scan with EPU at 5+4 and we saw a heartbeat. They then started me on progesterone pessaries as a bit of a boost.

I took those until 16 weeks.

I saw my midwife at 9 weeks who checked with the consultant about me taking the aspirin. She said I’d done the right thing, and had I not already started myself on it, she’d have put me on it!

I’m now 28 weeks pregnant and all (so far, touch wood) has been perfect.

I fully credit the aspirin and soy isoflavones in getting me here.

I used to find it so frustrating waiting for ovulation and never really knowing at what point in my cycle it would happen, and therefore no idea how long my cycle would be!

Sunnytimes21 · 27/06/2021 18:31

@Hopetobeamumof4 yey, yes that's a positive! A nice dark line. How exciting, the tww begins tomorrow and I'll keep everything crossed for you. Af arrived a couple of hours ago for me, as I was about to go swimming. Had a swim as thankfully was prepared. I knew I was out after taking a test yesterday as it would have shown something by 13dpo surely.

@Moominmiss there are loads of great things to note from your message and I'll take notes when I'm home. Congratulations on being 28 weeks now, soon have a lovely squidgy baby in your arms x

Hopetobeamumof4 · 27/06/2021 21:18

Oh wow @Moominmiss that’s amazing! What a struggle for you but what a brilliant result! Thank you you for sharing with me. So much luck for the rest of your pregnancy, what a positive story x

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