TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

Hello! Thank you for creating this thread. Another lurker. Seems a lot on this thread might be at the same point of TTC so would be helpful for us to support each other. Thought I’d share my story as it sounds a little different. I’m almost 29.
TTC since February, first month pregnant . Found out 4d before period. So 22/2, unfortunately bleeding (brown discharge) started on 5/3. Scan on the Tuesday showed sac but no yolk. Fridays bloods showed HCG has dropped. The Saturday miscarried completely including Sac
10 days later began ?period. Was a bit sceptical but appeared a normal period for 4 days. Began testing with ovulation testing. I got a clear blue smiley face 14 days later 6/4.
Now at the awful ‘2 week wait’.
It would be lovely to keep updated how everyone gets on. I’ve got 6 friends all with under 2s and I am so happy that none of them have had to go through a miscarriage but also makes me reluctant to discuss TTC.
Fingers crossed for us all!

Welcome to @Msd2416 @Marshmellowdreaming. Sorry for your losses, sounds like you've had a horrible Experian s. Hopefully you'll find this group as helpful as I have.

How strange @CMcA21. I bet it's driving you crazy not knowing!

Hopefully it's start of your ovulation @Lowkeyloopy!! Hope your feeling more yourself today.

I'm CD11 today. I haven't done a OPK today but I've had a flashing face for 5 days in a row. I'm hoping that I'm on my peak today.

I swear this is the longest month EVER!

@Marshmellowdreaming So sorry to hear that lovely its so difficult no matter how many weeks/early it happens. Awh i totally get that not wanting to discuss with people who havent experience MC is really difficult i find and they dont know what to say etc so given up even trying with friends tbh!
Im also in the middle of my TWW currently 8DPO - really going to try and not test early this month! xx

I’m only 7 dpo and I’ve already tested twice. Who knew this is what trying to conceive would be. Nice to talk to people who understand. On nights for the next three so that will be some distraction! Not really heard of anyone starting period 2 weeks after miscarriage so hoping that as clear blue had a smiley it was an ovulation and not just delayed bleeding from miscarriage. Fingers crossed!

Sounds about the right time within the next few days. Fingers crossed for you! ☺️

@Marshmellowdreaming same ive not heard of that either. Smiley face is good news though! Everything crossed for you lovely xxx

Welcome @Msd2416 @Marshmellowdreaming
1dpo for me I think. Had a peak OPK on Sunday afternoon so apps put ov to yesterday. Feels like it's been 2 weeks already... how am I meant to last another 13 days 😂😩 not feeling very hopeful already though 😩

@Msd2416 @Marshmellowdreaming welcome and sorry for what you’ve been through!

Stress over - it’s a full blown period now 😂 as soon as I posted that before it kicked off properly! If I was just spotting yesterday should I still count it as CD1 or CD1 today do you think?

Hi everyone, just checking back in.
Does anyone else get like 3 days of static smileys/3 days of positive IC ovulation tests? Pretty sure my darkest test was from Sunday, meaning I’d have ovulated yesterday and today is 1DPO.
Annoyingly enough we couldn’t DTD yesterday, but did manage to do it the 3 days prior, so fingers crossed that was enough this month 🤞!
At this stage I feel like this whole TTC thing is starting to have a negative impact on our sex life, it all feels a bit forced and repetitive. If we don’t catch this month, I think I might do a cycle of not tracking with OPK’s and just DTD when we feel like it for a couple months!

Ah good that you know for sure now @CMcA21 I'm not sure what you would count as CD1. What does your app say if you put in the light spotting for yesterday and heavier flow today?

@Aila1994 I think dtd on the days before ovulation are more important that doing it on ovulation day so you should be covered! 🤞🏻

Sorry you find yourselves here @Msd2416 and @Marshmellowdreaming I really hope this your month for a sticky BFP. I'm 5dpo (but feels like 105dpo) and had a lot of cramping this evening which I'm hoping means implantation but it more likely to be gas! I'll probably start testing with Internet cheapies on Thursday. I've done so many of them recently to make sure my HCG had gone down after the miscarriage that seeing a negative test doesn't make me feel sad anymore. It's just part of my morning routine to pee in a pot and dip paper sticks in it! I won't waste a frer before the weekend though

@Flopsy88 I’m a day ahead of you! Also going to save my FRER for the weekend! Fingers crossed! Xxx

@Flopsy88 one app says today is day 1 and another says tomorrow is but both say the most fertile day the same. Not sure it will make that much difference I can just try and DTD as much as poss those few days. Good luck to you and @Msd2416 testing this week/weekend, keep up posted 💛

Good luck @Msd2416 and @Flopsy88 🤞🏻🤞🏻 1dpo here (also feels like 105dpo!!) ugh. Having a total melt down tonight. The first like 2 weeks after mc were the worst then I had started to feel kinda normal like sad but not debilitatingly so and crying etc but just now I just feel so hopeless. I know it's silly it's only the first cycle trying again post mc but it just feels so unfair I can't help thinking I should be this, I should be doing that. I don't want to be starting all over. Sorry I know I sound really bratty and whiney and I'm sure other people have been trying a lot longer, just don't feel very positive tonight. To make it worse I wanted to dtd tonight as smep is 3 days in a row from positive opk which was Sunday to DTD Sunday AM, Monday AM and PM and I wanted to do tonight again. Now usually dp can't get enough sex would have it constantly if he could, never been an issue with performing or "on demand" dtd and tonight he couldn't finish and I feel bad but I feel so angry at him like this is the last important day the rest of the month and you're fucking it up. So in the spare room crying my eyes out as shock horror he's asleep and snoring in 2 mins. I'm so angry I don't even want to look at him, feel ready to give up ttc and bin all my sticks and tests.

@Aila1994 I've not had my static smiley but ?6 days of flashing smileys in a row, so hoping I'll get my static today. Sounds like you might have caught yours! Fingers crossed!

@justwant2beamum I completely get where your coming from. I'm in my first cycle following my MC too and also feel really desperate and impatient. It feels so unfair. I get you feeling angry at DH. Do you think he might feel the pressure? I wanted to DTD last night as I think I'll be ovulating today but he come to bed too late and I was fat too tired

@ItsMeantToBe sorry to hear about your mc. I dunno, he's never had an issue with pressure or dtd on demand or anything like that, he usually likes it 😂

@justwant2beamum totally get where you are coming from but if I was you I wouldn't worry too much. Sounds like you done lots of BDing and so should be okay anyway. Last month I only really managed to DTD twice directly before ovulation. (So day of first static smile and day after - as well as couple of times in lead up). I got bfp that month, only takes one sperm so there should be some waiting already. Try not to be too hard on your DH, maybe he's feeling a bit dubious/scared with it all after your MC and it's playing on his mind.

Can anyone give me some advice? So my cycles range anywhere between 30-36 days normally. I think my body is back to normal but I have no idea when to start with opk? I only have 8 sticks left for my CV digital and so don't want to waste them too soon? Last time I think my cycle was 36 days (although got bfp) and I got my peak on cd21. I'm now on cd11, when should I start using CB? I have cheapies too...

Hope you are all doing ok today X

Thanks @Mrsmujic I really hope that's the case for me this month and I get BFP but don't feel hopeful.
I'd probably start cheapies now/tomorrow then when the lines start to darken start using your cbs? I'm usually 28 days and start about cd8 x

@Mrsmujic sorry, I've got a 28 day cycle so probably can't help. Using cheapies for a few days can't hurt. I started using OPK from CD5, got negative for 1 day, flashing smiley/high for 6 days and finally got my static/peak today! I just want to sit and chill after a busy day but feel like I need to BD again!

@justwant2beamum I feel so sad at the thought of you upset alone in your spare room 😔 it’s really frustrating, I had another counselling session tonight and found myself angry at my DP saying he doesn’t understand. He made a comment a couple of weeks ago how he ‘wasn’t even thinking about’ the MC anymore. I thought ‘lucky you!!!’ He didn’t go through it physically, waiting to do the hCG to check all ok, he’s not waiting for the period, POAS or any tracking for now TTC and not limiting his caffeine, alcohol or changing his diet really. It’s so easy to feel like it’s all on you. But even if it’s not this month it could be next so try and focus on that. If you DTD other days I’m sure it won’t make much difference. Hope you’re feeling better now x

Hi ladies, so sorry to hear there are so many of us in the same boat but glad we can support each other. My thoughts are with you all - such a tough time. I’m nearly 37 and we’re ttc baby #2. I had a MMC identified at 8.5 weeks after a scan showing a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks. I had an MVA three weeks ago. Not really sure when to count CD1 as with a MMC and MVA... Any ideas? Planning to use OPKs but not really sure when to start if I don’t wait for AF to come...

@CMcA21 aw so sorry love. I totally resonate with what you say. I feel exact same, he's just breezing on and he occasionally will say "it was my baby too" but it wasn't really, none of it was happening to him and he doesn't sit and obsess over cycles, symptoms etc, you're so right!

Sorry @bea19. Your surgery is CD1 I believe xxx

@bea19 sorry should have also said, you likely won't ovulate until your hcg is 0/ nearly 0. And hcg can give a positive on OPK so I'd do some pg tests (horrible as they are) to check that's negative. Also at least if you get a BFP before you're next period you'll know it's a new BFP and not left over hcg xxx

@justwant2beamum Oh lovely, that's so frustrating. How are you feeling now? Men have this irritating way of being able to fall asleep immediately no matter whats happened or how upset you are! It sounds like you managed to dtd loads so you should be covered. I know exactly what you mean re. starting over again. It feels exhausting right now. Even when we do manage to get pg again we have to go through the anxiety of early pregnancy all over again, trying to keep it secret, counting down to scans and midwife appointments. It's not fair! Xx

@bea19 I'm so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking after seeing that heartbeat. I had a scan at 7+4 and saw a heartbeat but the embryo was measuring 5+2 so I started preparing for the worst. It felt so isolating because no one believed me that I hadn't got my dates wrong, the EPU didn't even book me in for a follow up scan to check for growth cos it looked healthy. I started bleeding at 9 weeks and miscarried naturally in the end. We didn't want to wait for a new cycle to start trying again so I order 50 cheap one step OPKs and HPTs from amazon and started testing with both every day from when my bleeding had slowed right down. The OPKs actually showed strong positive for days when I still had HCG in my system which was confusing at first but cos I was testing every day I could watch them both go negative and then a few days later the OPKs got darker again and I think that's when I ovulated (I had ovulation pains and temp dip then rise too). I also did a frer on ovulation day which was v.v.v.faint positive so I guess you can ovulate with a tiny amount of HCG. I wanted to have that to compare so I could use a frer to test for a new pregnancy without worrying I was just picking up old HCG from the loss. Wishing you lots of luck xx

@CMcA21 @justwant2beamum TTC and MC seem like such an unequal division don’t they! I had a MC with my first pregnancy too and my partner said he hadn’t even really felt like we’d been expecting when I miscarried (he wasn’t being mean, just honest) but it’s so tough isn’t it, you can feel really alone.

It is so sad to know there was a heartbeat but not anymore isn’t it @Flopsy88? I’m so sorry you experienced this too, and that you weren’t offered a follow-up scan when you knew something was off.

Thank you for the OPK and HPT tips @justwant2beamum and @Flopsy88. I was told to test three weeks after my MVA which is today (bang on when I would have been 12 weeks sadly) and unfortunately I’m still testing positive... Lines have been getting fainter over the past week (POAS never ends!) but think I’ll need to call now to check no ‘retained products’. What an awful medical phrase that is, so sorry if triggering!)

@bea19 yeah I would give them a call. How dark are your lines? Hopefully they'll scan you and there won't be anything and remaining hcg will fade in next couple of days for you. Xx