TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

@bea19 did you get a test from the hospital which measured the ‘success’ of the procedure - awful wording again I know! That’s what I did but still had a positive on a HPT. If the hospital one isn’t positive you’re fine and don’t need to worry about retained product

Also a little question, when should you DTD around ovulation and is there a recommendation for how many times a day? I’m so clueless

@CMcA21 I’ve tried to look up threads on this but all the info out there seems so conflicting. I honestly think it’s just the luck of the draw, some people DTD once 6 days before their expected ovulation and they catch. Others DTD every day for 2 weeks and they catch.

I think so long as you’ve DTD at least once in the 3 days before ovulation you are in with a chance!

Feeling a bit deflated as my husband and I DTD for 4 days in a row prior to ovulation this month. But didn’t manage to DTD on the day of or the day following ovulation due to work schedules. But hopefully we’re still in with a chance 🤞

@CMcA21 no, I haven’t had a test from the hospital, they just said to take an HPT. Called them this afternoon and they want me to go in for an examination so maybe they will test then...

I think there is some information in “The Inpatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant” on timing DTD around ovulation. Will dig it out tomorrow and share...

Oh wow so many new people and messages! I wasn’t getting notifications for some reason. I’m going to try to get involved in all of the chat, haha, but sorry if I miss anyone!

@Flopsy88 Evening Primrose Oil is a great tip! I hadn’t realised that but now looked into it and had some in my drawer so have started taking them again. You stop post ovulation though right? Yup we’re DTD every day, though after a faint line on an OPK a few days ago it’s gone back to blank! But the month I got PG I got my peak out of nowhere on CD 13 so hopefully that’ll happen again. CD 10 today. I hope that was implantation cramping you felt a couple of days ago! Have you started testing?

Welcome @Msd2416 - sorry for your losses and fingers crossed for you this month! Hope you can stay strong with not testing early - I’m going to try not to either. If it’s a chemical I just don’t want to know.

Welcome @Marshmellowdreaming ! So sorry for your loss, which sounds a little similar to mine - I also got PG first month TTC in Feb! We have to take something positive from that. Hoping to catch again quickly. Certainly sounds like that was a period and you ovulated so fingers crossed! There’s a big range in what’s “normal” post MC i think.

Thanks @ItsMeantToBe - I’m definitely feeling much better. Great you got your peak! Good luck with your TWW!

@CMcA21 - I think I read on another thread that you should count first day of full flow as CD1, not spotting, but as you say it shouldn’t make too much difference if you’re tracking with OPKs and temping etc.

@Aila1994 I know what you mean about it impacting your sex life! I did find myself saying to DP earlier “so, no shenanigans tonight, but back on it tomorrow” 🤦🏻‍♀️ Hardly sexy! I like the idea of being chilled about it too but I think I’m just too hyper aware of my cycle and too organised for that to be possible! Also it sounds like you’ve hit the best days for DTD - I can’t remember the stats but I think day of /after O isn’t as good as before O so hopefully you’ve done enough!

@justwant2beamum I’m so sorry to hear how you were feeling yesterday - I can relate to the hopeless feeling. That’s how I was earlier this week too, despite feeling kinda fine again before that, after the initial awfulness and sadness of the MC. I just had a wave of feeling very sad and negative and kinda overwhelmed. It passed though and I hope it has for you too. Our emotions are funny things - they sneak up on us. I reckon men just process things so differently too - your DP is maybe feeling the pressure but perhaps can’t talk about it so it’s manifesting itself in the struggling to DTD. It’s easy to say but try not to put too much pressure on yourselves - sounds like you’ve covered your bases really well. I try to remind myself sometimes that my relationship with DP is at the heart of all this. I don’t just want a baby - I want a baby with him! I’ve got to look after that relationship first and foremost!

@Mrsmujic - I have 28-29 day cycles and all the books / OPK leaflets etc tell me to start testing at CD 11 and I got my peak at CD13 when I got PG so that seemed to work, maybe start at CD13 if your cycle is never less than 30 days?

Welcome @bea19 and I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. I hope your hcg drops quickly and you can move forward as soon as possible. Look after yourself!

Phew.. I think I’m all caught up!

@Flopsy88 Oops - every other day not every day! At least for now until I get my peak!

Ugh I feel so fed up today 😥 I stupidly did a frer at 8dpo which I know is too early, I didn't get a bfp until 11dpo last time (although didn't actually try testing any earlier than that). My chart also looked perfect the month I conceived with a big rise and then implantation dip but this time it's static just above the cover line. Even during the mc I felt really positive about the future and just assumed I'd get pg straight away but now I'm realising that might not happen and it's every month is going to feel so shit. Sorry for the moan, I know I'm being silly and there's people in much worse situations and we haven't even been trying that long. I'm just sad that I should be 14 weeks pregnant right now and instead I'm desperately searching for a line that isn't actually there on a stick I've just weed on. I thought I was done with this bit ☹ xx

I've just read that back and realised how stupid it sounds. Sorry! Especially being disappointed by a bfn this early! There is so much to feel positive about. For a start it's Friday and it's sunny! 🌻
Hope you're all doing ok ❤ xx

Aw @Flopsy88 , don’t feel bad about saying how you feel! Totally understandable that you’d want to get on with testing and that you’re feeling sad and frustrated. As I said last night - all the emotions around it come in waves! One thing I thought today (as I approach what would’ve been my 12 week scan date) is not to think about what “should” be happening with my pregnancy right now, because actually, nothing was meant to happen. There was an important reason why that baby didn’t keep growing - it simply wasn’t compatible with life, and I’ve been putting all these “shoulds” onto it that don’t belong there. I was never meant to have a baby born in November 2021 - that’s not my story or my baby’s story. I’m meant to have a Spring 2022 baby 🙂 It doesn’t change the fact that my little 6 week poppyseed was also my baby, but it had achieved everything that it was ever meant to achieve by the time it left me.

I hope that makes sense - if it provides zero comfort that’s also ok though! We all have different views on this and they can even change from day to day.

Also, as you already know, 8DPO is super early - you may not even implant until 10DPO and that would be totally normal. Just look after yourself and get out the sun (alternatively look at all the good news stories on the rainbow babies threads - that helps me!). It happened for them and it will happen for us.

@Flopsy88 so sorry to hear you’re feeling sad and frustrated but it’s completely understandable! I felt the same after I fell pregnant quickly in my first pregnancy and then miscarried. It took another few months for me to conceive again and I’m not going to lie, it was really tough each month, but hopefully your rainbow baby is just around the corner.

So sorry you've been feeling down @Flopsy88. It's totally understandable! The month is going so slowly isn't it. I'm only 2DPO and it feels like it should be 20000DPO.

@Lowkeyloopy "It doesn’t change the fact that my little 6 week poppyseed was also my baby" this made me choke up. It's such a nice way to think.

How's everyone else's day? Any exciting weekend plans?

@Flopsy88 so sorry you’re feeling so rubbish. Just got to look for the positives in life like you said 💜 hope you’re okay!!

@ItsMeantToBe got some friends coming to our garden tomorrow, was meant to be our announcement of being pregnant but obviously it won’t be that now it’s just a party... will still be fun though. So hopefully we’ll have a good day. I’m getting my nails and eyebrows done in the morning too 😍 first time since Christmas Eve. What about you??

Sorry @Flopsy88 I feel exact same. 4dpo for me and I've been awake till 4am every night this week agonising over forums, google, charts, tests etc. I have a feeling it's not going to happen for me any time soon and I don't know how I can do this month on month!

Just needed to share as I’m literally not going to show anyone these until I’m at least a few weeks after my period is due! Currently 11 DPO and just got two faint lines!

@Mrsmujic congratulations!!! Our first positive in the group.

@justwant2beamum You must be exhausted! It's so all consuming isn't it.I feel a bit more relaxed now I'm in my TWW. I can't do anything apart from eat right and take my vitamins, so not stressing as much.

I think I'm going to do a spot of shopping tomorrow (although I don't know what clothes to buy If I'm planning on getting pregnant) and some nice dog walks. Hopefully the weather won't be too bad.

@Msd2416 congratulations!!! Such lovely news.

@CMcA21 I’m with you, we are also having a ‘party’ in the garden this weekend. It’s for a family birthday but would have been when we told my brother we were expecting... it will be hard not having that news to share anymore but so nice we can see people again, I’m just going to focus on being grateful for that!

Congratulations @Msd2416! Fingers crossed for a sticky bean and a happy and healthy 9 months! Now chuck a bit of that baby dust our way won’t you? 🙂

Congrats @Msd2416 ✨

@bea19 oooh have a lovely time ❤️❤️

@Msd2416 congratulations lovely 🎉 fingers crossed it all goes ok for you xxxx

I hope you’re feeling a bit better today @Flopsy88 and have some nice plans for the weekend!

CD12 for me today. This is the day I got my high OPK the cycle I got PG, with a peak CD13 morning, so I’m really hoping for the same again!

I’m also about to go try out some “fertility yoga” - has anyone discovered Bettina Rae on YouTube? Couldn’t hurt!

I hope everyone has a lovely chilled weekend, hopefully without getting bogged down in too many thoughts of TTC. I’m off to meet some friends for brunch today - can’t wait 🙂

@Msd2416 congratulations! Bet it feels amazing.
@Flopsy88 also tested from day 9. So far as negative as could be. Trying to take my mind off it and test closer to missed period. @Girlmum2020 glad you have had 2 healthy children, doesn’t make any loss any easier though. Fingers crossed for you!
@Mrsmujic sorry you are going through this! My period was only 2 weeks later which was a relief.
@ItsMeantToBe I’m definitely feeling the blurgh.
Keep trying to remind myself the reasons we want a baby and appreciate we are in a place to give a baby everything it would deserve. Hope you have a nice weekend.
@Madeoftea my smiley ovulation test was at 4pm so tested before work. Apparently it’s highest at 4-8pm not sure how true which is why they say test twice daily.
I’ve been busy on nights at work (itu nurse). Honestly I’ve had EVERY symptom I had last time. I think I’ve convinced myself. So far day 10 dpo and negative. Going to be so disappointed. Already want to give up. Being in here and seeing how strong all you ladies are is helping though. Thank you.

@Msd2416 Congratulations!! That is amazing news! 🥳 How are you feeling?

@Lowkeyloopy Thank you for being so lovely, that is such a good way of looking at it ❤ I am feeling a bit less gloomy today. We have a few beer garden tables booked this weekend so that will be nice. It's so exciting being able to see our friends again. I hope you have a lovely brunch! It is the best meal 😋

@justwant2beamum That is exactly what I'm doing! I'm pretty sure I've read the whole of the Internet now. It feels like such a waste of time and I'm so annoyed with myself for doing it but I can't think about anything else

Oh wow @Marshmellowdreaming You are amazing! That must be such a hard job!! Have you been there for the whole pandemic?

I tested again this morning and still bfn. I've had the tiniest bit of brown discharge (sorry tmi) which is a bit strange. I don't know if it's leftover mc blood but I haven't had any bleeding for weeks now. I also don't feel crampy like af is imminent but if it is that I'll be pleased to get started on a new cycle

This is such a kind, supportive group! It helps so much knowing you all understand xx

@Flopsy88 half the pandemic itu, half in the community. Equally as challenging. Settling down now though thankfully. Could do with some maternity haha! X

@Msd2416 Congratulations lovely! Fingers crossed lots of us will be joining you and getting our BFP’s in the next couple of months 🤞x

@CMcA21 sorry, it took me a while to dig this out but ‘The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant’ book says the “latest research shows the two most fertile days are one and two days before ovulation (the more recent studies show one day before to be the most fertile)... and that you up your chances by having sex more than once during your fertile time”. Hope that helps.

Fingers crossed for everyone who has had positive OPKs.