TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

@Lowkeyloopy I definitely won't be calling as early next time. As you say, they don't tell you anything interesting/reassuring at the 10 week appointment anyway. It's just a information collecting exercise for them really.

I got a high OPK reading on CD7. I had a suspicion that I ovulate early. No harm testing early.

As far as pregnancy testing, I think I'll wait until AF is late. I don't think it'll be good for me to see a negative result if I test too early. I've already got some FRER and a digital waiting. I want to use the FRER daily after I get a BFP to make sure it's progressing.

Welcome @ShoesEverywhere I was the same. Kind of accidentally got pregnant, had a CP and then we realised how desperate we were for a baby. I know what you mean about not feeling grown up enough, I still expected my mum to be disappointed in me even though I'm in my 30's and already a mum and wife .

@CMcA21 From what you've said I would test. Good luck!

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend! We've got people coming for drinks in the garden and it's just started snowing!

@CMcA21 I think I'd definitely prioritise baby over wedding. I've got a few friends (mid 30s) who were planning to start TTC after their weddings last year and but then they were postponed and they can't be sure they'll go ahead this year. It's all so uncertain at the moment and now they're panicking about needing to start a family.

Sorry you ladies have had to make difficult phonecalls. It's horrible having to say it out loud. It always makes me feel like I've failed which is is ridiculous of course! Thankfully the EPU cancelled all my scans and informed the GP so I didn't have to. I'd already had my booking in appointment and got a letter from the midwife this morning saying 'We know you're not pregnant anymore but we've got your screening bloods results and thought you'd like to know you don't have HIV or Syphilis'. So that's good news anyway!

@Lowkeyloopy It's better to start OPK testing early than risk missing it! Gotta satisfy that POAS addiction with something! I think I'll test next weekend. I got a strong positive with a FRER at 10dpo last time. I've got a million amazon cheapies as well so it hard not to use them but they're not sensitive at all so it's a bit pointless. Now I've also learned that OPKs detect HCG I'll probably keep using those as well. They were positive for ages after my bleeding started, even when the HPTs were fading.

Welcome @ShoesEverywhere and sorry you find yourself here How old are your two little ones? Xx

@ItsMeantToBe I’m too scared to test yet but I will do it if no period by Friday... I can never POAS correctly and I have to collect a sample and do it that way. I have a ‘wee cup’ under the bathroom sink 😂

@Flopsy88 we’ve said that we’re gonna try and book our wedding in the mean time but for 2 years time ish! How cute would it be to have a baby/toddler at your wedding with you. Fingers crossed.

If AF does arrive for me soon I will be back to tracking, I’ve never used ovulation tests before; are they easy to use and what are the best ones? I see people doing them multiple times a day should this be what I do?

Hope you’re all having a lovely weekend and we’re all feeling ok ❤️

@Flopsy88 always a positive knowing you don’t have HIV or Syphillis...

My youngest just turned four and my eldest is almost seven.

I always used natural family planning (not with precision!) so I'm usually pretty good at knowing when I'm fertile - I'm just used to avoiding sex at that point so this all feels very different!

@Flopsy88 great news that there's no STI's 😂!

@CMcA21 I'm new to OPK's too but I bought the ClearBlue Advanced Ovulation kit. I think it was about £20 but you can a lot of cheapie sticks online for about £5 I think, so I'll order some of them if I don't get a BFP this month I think.

@ShoesEverywhere your kids are at good ages. 7 is old enough to babysit, right? . I've got a 4 year old.

@ItsMeantToBe I’ve seen these online - how often do you do them?? Or just once a day? They seem very complicated!

@CMcA21 the CB one is really simple. It comes up with a flashing smiling face when your at high ovulation and a continuous smiling face when your at your peak. They check 2 hormones too, when some only check one. The line ones seem a bit harder to read as the lines have to be exactly the same colour, I think?

@CMcA21 I use the Femometer ones off Amazon - £11 for 50 I think. I used them to track in Feb, saw a peak, DTD loads and fell pregnant that first cycle (nice while it lasted). I put the photos on the Premom app. Very easy to use because you dip into a pot, plus no plastic.

The instructions tell you when you start testing based on the length of your cycle. Worth trying doing them at different times of the day, or at least trying them twice a day once you start seeing the line get darker - my high & peak were around 10pm one day and 6am the next if I remember rightly - completely outside the 11am-8pm window when all the guidance seems to suggest testing. If I’d tested within that window either day, I’d have missed the peak!

Here’s my tests for the cycle I conceived.

@ItsMeantToBe I think I’m gonna invest in this one at some point - will see what happens with my AF coming back first. I want to know whereabouts my cycle is up to if I’m gonna spend money. It all becomes so expensive doesn’t it...

@Lowkeyloopy I’ll look in to the premom app, haven’t heard of this before and I might get some cheap ones for back ups. I’m a teacher so I leave for work about half 7 and get home about half 4/5 each day so I could just do one in the morning and at night? I have the femometer thermometer for BBT too but I’m so sure I’m using it wrong 😩 it keeps jumping between different temps when I do them one after each other

@CMcA21 Yeh it's worth experimenting with the timings a little bit - they say you shouldn't use FMU because it takes a few hours for the LH to build up, but that didn't seem the case for me. Plus some people have a rapid spike - blink and you miss it (like me apparently) whereas others have a gradual increase and decrease.

How's everyone doing today? I'm feeling quite "meh" to be honest. FW seems a long way off and I'm convinced it won't work anyway. That after being "lucky" in getting PG first cycle of TTC before the MC, I'll now have to wait a year or something. There's no logic to that thinking of course, just one of those days.

Doesn't help that I'm having to work today - an "extra-curricular" type of thing that I happily signed up for months ago but would now rather walk over hot coals than spend a sunny Sunday doing!

At least I managed to do some yoga this morning - only 20 minutes but it was good to be moving again. Took a lot of willpower to do it and I couldn't work out why. I think I'm weirdly angry at yoga / my body - everyone says yoga is such a good thing to do while TTC and PG. Well I did it for months, and it didn't help me keep my pregnancy. I also cut out alcohol and caffeine, took my prenatal vits and ate well etc. Didn't work. So I guess I'm feeling angry at the randomness of it all today. Which is odd, because I've been feeling ok recently. But I guess it'll pass.

How is everyone else doing today? Hope someone is having a very happy today and wants to share the love

@Lowkeyloopy Thanks for the advice, I’ll let you know if I work out how to use them but I’ll probably be back on here asking for help 😂

Sorry to hear that you’re feeling low today. It’s really unfair what happened to you and there may be no reason why it happens. A lot of the time it’s just unlucky that the wrong egg/sperm meet. But like you say, you’re doing everything you can and that’s all you can do. You can’t change anything else about what happens. You can just make the most of what you can do and by the sounds of it you’re doing all you can. I get what you mean about the anger towards stuff. I was like that with my folic acid tabs etc but you’ve just got to take a deep breath and a step back and think, you can’t control what happened or exactly when it’ll happen again, you can just do the things you know will help. Keep doing what you’re doing my love!

I’m feeling quite positive and productive, we’ve had a nice breakie, done the bedsheets and been to b&m for new cleaning stuff 😂 the joys of lockdown! Just going to go for a walk now with my friends. Hope you’re feeling more positive soon

@Lowkeyloopy Sorry you're feeling down. As hard as it is try to block out the negative thoughts and think positively. I'm sure you'll get a BFP soon that will stick. Have you heard about the law of attraction? I read the book "The Secret" and it's helped me think about things differently. Saying that I've had some down days this week. I've found myself getting really jealous of pregnant women, even though it's obviously not their fault and I'm sure i will get a BFP soon. I know someone who is pregnant with her second and she's smoked all the way though both pregnancies when I'm already doing everything I should be like taking folic, cutting back on caffeine etc (like you are). So frustrating!

Hope you had a nice walk @CMcA21

I've just pottered around today and sorted the house out a bit. Going to waste the evening away in the bath I think.

I recommend the easy at home opks from Amazon. Someone on another thread recommended to me. I was using one step ones and they were crap, hardly showed a second line at all. First proper cycle using the easy at home ones. I'm CD12 today and had 2 high readings today so 🤞🏻

Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing ok today

Sorry to here you've been feeling a bit low @Lowkeyloopy I hope things seem brighter today. Where abouts in your cycle are you now? Time seems to go so slowly doesn't it? I'm really hating with this TWW like never before. I can't think about anything else and I'm struggling to concentrate on work (wfh makes this so much worse). Before ovulation I feel like there's so much a can do, OPKs, timing sex, eating grapefruit every day(!?) and now it's completely out of my control and I just have to wait. Ugh. So jealous of women who just suddenly realise they haven't had a period for a while and test just incase only to find they're 10 weeks pregnant with a lovely surprise baby. Why can't it always be that easy?!

@CMcA21I use the premom app too and find it really good. Temps do seem to jump around a little bit, I dunno if it's something to do with the thermometer being cold for the first reading? If I don't get the answer I want the first time I check it again and take the second reading (if it's higher and I'm post-ovulation!)

Thanks ladies - still feeling a bit out of sorts today but I think we’ve just got a lot going on in our lives atm - trying to plan a rescheduled wedding, work busy, planning to move house etc! And just feels like none of it is simple! Reckon I’m slightly hormonal too (though who know which hormones or why!). I’m CD7 today and checked CD6 yesterday for a previous cycle and my notes just said “a bit grumpy”, lol. I think once I get into the fertile week I’ll be ok again as I’ll feel like I can do something productive towards TTC. In the meantime I stuck my out of office on briefly and have gone for a walk round the park to clear my head.

@ItsMeantToBe thanks for the recommendation! Have heard of visualisation and affirmations but haven’t read the book - I have some Audible credits so will get it and chill out listening to it in the bath sometime! I’m normally pretty positive but need an extra pick me up this week!

@Flopsy88 - what else did you do pre ovulation? I’ve been reading a bit about seeding so have been munching pumpkins seeds, haha. I guess you can do things during the TWW like drink Pom juice and eat Brazil nuts, which are meant to help thicken the womb lining? Probably all total nonsense but can help to feel like you’re doing something! How amazing would it be to wake up 10 weeks pregnant, haha, with all that waiting and most of the anxiety and fear behind you.

@CMcA21 I find that unless I take my temp immediately before doing anything else, it changes too much to be very reliable. So the days when I sip water without thinking about it, fling the covers off, or faff about on my phone before remembering - I have to discard the temps!

Thanks girls! I said I wouldn’t buy anything til I got my period but... it just arrived 🎉 I’m so happy and relieved because I was panicking it wouldn’t happen! Never thought I’d say this but thank god it’s arrived

🥳🥳 @CMcA21 Woop! I totally understand that feeling! Was so relieved to see my body was getting back to normal and I had a clean slate. Now time for chocolate, wine, bath, chill and looking ahead to a new month and a fresh start 😊

I had the silliest mini celebratory feeling earlier because my OPK today at CD7 had a faint line whereas yesterday it was totally blank - so LH is slowly on the rise. It’s too early to have started testing but I just wanted to know my body was up to something!

How are our TWW ladies doing? Any symptom spotting yet or too early for that / trying not to?!

@Lowkeyloopy thanks! So relieved. I’ll start temping tomorrow and putting it in my app. Can finally over some of the strips and things now, didn’t want to tempt fate.

I totally understand that though, this whole experience has shown me a side to myself I never even though about and now I’m obsessed with knowing what every little pain and change means! How are you feeling?

Hope everyone’s doing ok 💛

@Lowkeyloopy Awwww you have a regular grumpy day! ❤ Maybe you should start planning nice things to do on those CDs, or at least stock up on wine and tell everyone to leave you alone! Hopefully you'll be pregnant and won't need to next month though. A hint of a line surely means it's fertile week! Are you going to start DTD every other day? The only things I did differently before ovulation were to take Evening Primrose Oil and eat a grapefruit every day, apparently they're both help to produce EWCM. I used preseed this month too. I have not heard about Brazil nuts?! I'll try anything though! I've started reading It Starts with the Egg and there's so many lifestyle changes that are proven to improve egg quality, although some of them are not that achievable for me (zero alcohol and caffeine!!).

Excellent news!!! @CMcA21 🥳 Glad to hear you're feeling positive and refreshed ready for a new month. Let us know how you get on with the temping!

I'm on CD5 now and not bothering to symptoms spot cos I had no symptoms the month I got pregnant. The boob tenderness was exactly the same as before AF! I'm obsessing over my temp chart and cervical position though (which apparently doesn't mean much)

Right girls, I need some advice. I thought I’d got my period as there was some brownish blood when I wiped. I’ve worn pads since last night and there’s the tiniest bit of blood (brown) on there when I’ve looked. There’s hardly anything when I wipe. Do you think it’s just leftover stuff from the MC or is it just a weird period? I’m stressing again now 😫

@CMcA21 Is it possible you could be pregnant?? It could be an implantation bleed. Sorry, I can't remember if you said you were trying straight away or waiting for new cycle. Does your period always start in full force or do you sometimes have spotting first?

@Flopsy88 well we DTD over Easter weekend twice I’d just stopped bleeding from the MVA... I don’t usually spot at all, I just start heavyish on the first day. I’m gonna keep an eye on it this week. We were waiting for new cycle to track everything but we have DTD a few times since unprotected so I suppose it could be that... but I don’t know because I don’t really have any other symptoms! So annoying because it was a surprise last time I can’t remember how I felt early on until I did the pregnancy test

Hi Ladies, can i join this thread. We've tried again this month after 2 chemical pregnancies and 1 MC so praying and crossing everything for this month! xx