TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

Does anyone happen to know how likely you are to ovulate after a miscarriage? I had EWCM around two weeks afterwards for around three days so I'm now 8dpo but I'm wondering if I actually o'd at all... Thanks in advance :)

@ShoesEverywhere I had a ?period 10 days after complete miscarriage and a positive smile clear blue 2 weeks later. After reading online that most people are at least a month I wasn’t sure but after checking with a pregnancy test before period which was negative and then getting smile on clear blue think this is possibly ovulation: No idea on the whole miscarriage is the start of period because I never thought to count it as that and then I got my period at usual date 10 days later. I was 7 weeks at miscarriage. Not sure if that helps x

@ShoesEverywhere Everyone is different! Some people get pg straight away without even having a period so must have ovulated, others can take a while for their cycles to return to normal. I think I ovulated 3 weeks after my mc and period started yesterday which would be 29 days afterwards. Have you been monitoring your temperature? I think that's the most reliable way of knowing ovulation has happened x

@Flopsy88 I got spotting the day before my period so that might explain the brown discharge!

@bea19 thank you ❤️

@CMcA21 It was that! It's super heavy and painful and feel so happy about it! There was clearly no way I could have got pregnant straight away, no matter what I did, I'm not even certain I ovulated and if I did my luteal phase would have been really short. This feels like a fresh start 🙂 xx

Happy sunny Sunday ladies (well - I hope it's sunny where you are!)

Sorry to hear that AF arrived @Flopsy88, but as you say, it's good to get started on a new cycle - remind me, is this your first AF after the MC? Clean slate.. onwards and upwards.

And yeh @CMcA21 I agree with @Aila1994 it really seems to vary. Definitely should aim to DTD in the 3 days leading up to ovulation and ideally the day of. Even the day after could perhaps work because the egg can survive up to 24 hours. I think people can technically get PG if they ovulate 4-5 days after DTD, but the odds are lower - your DP has got to have some seriously strong and patient swimmers!

The month I conceived we DTD every day throughout the FW. It was slightly exhausting but it worked. Basically copied my friend who said the month she conceived (4th cycle), they DTD every day. But some people say sperm concentration is too low if you do that. I don't know though... it only takes one!

I'm currently on CD13 and trying not to stress that I haven't had a high or peak OPK yet. The cycle I conceived I had a high CD12 pm and peak CD13 am. But then yesterday I swear I had some brief cramping on my RHS, like ovulation pain I think. Do you guys get ovulation pain, and if you do, does it precede ovulation or is it at the same time?

Anyway we DTD yesterday and the day before anyway and will try again later even if I don't get a high/peak. I'm going to exhaust my poor DP with all this DTD in expectation of a peak being round the corner! He'll be willing my temp to spike so he can chill out for a bit, haha. It went up slightly this morning, but I'm pretty sure I half woke up 2 hours earlier and so it probably wasn't accurate at the time I took it.

ANYWAY, I should really get off the internet and get my brain onto thinking about something else.

What thoughts have you ladies got swirling around your heads today?!

Morning ladies! Hope you all had nice weekends ☀️

@Lowkeyloopy Yes this the start of my first cycle post mc and it feels so good!! I'm even excited to use my mooncup again after those horrible pads during the mc. Any sign of your peak yet?? Do you usually get gradually darkening lines or does it just appear suddenly? Re. the ovulation pain, I always get it the day after my surge for a few hours. It's really painful on one side and unmistakable. I can almost feel the little egg popping out!
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you today (and your poor tired DP!!) 🤞🏻 xx

@Flopsy88 Glad you're enjoying the clean slate and looking forward to a brand new cycle!

@CMcA21 I aimed to DTD everyday around ovulation but managed to on CD8, 9, 10, when I ovulated on CD13 and 1DPO. We're just DTD whenever we want to now I've ovulated, I'm trying to make sure it still stays fun for both of us. Fingers crossed!

@Lowkeyloopy I got my peak on the evening of CD13, hopefully you'll get yours anytime now! I notice ovulation pain too. This month I noticed it 1DPO on my right hand side (which is the same side as last month). They're quite noticeable pains for me.

I'm CD18/5DPO today...slowest month EVER!

Hey ladies, I hope you're all doing okay?

I. Am. Stressed. All my MC feelings seem to be popping back up after being alright for a little while, and I've had two surprise pregnancy announcements in the last week which have affected me quite badly and everything's got a bit too much to cope with. I'm loving the sun right now and I want to just get outside and enjoy it but I just feel a bit numb? Everyone in my life seems to be having a great time currently and I don't want to bring anyone down. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

This month is a write off for me too, I'm on CD23 and there's been no ovulation symptoms in sight and I haven't felt like DTD anyway 😔

I am supposed to ovulate next Monday so I think I’ll say Saturday, Sunday and Monday DTD? I’m temping but not using OPKs yet.

How’s everyone feeling? I had a panic attack last night and feel so weird today 😩

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this @Madeoftea Two pregnancy announcements in a week is a lot to cope with, especially if this is around the time you would have been announcing as well. Are they people you're close to? I can totally relate to the numb feelings. I'm not enjoying socialising again anywhere near as much as I normally would and it's hard to get excited about anything when I was recently SO excited about being pregnant and nothing compares to that. When you're feeling low it can be so much worse when the sun is shining and everyone else is loving life. Were your cycles regular before the mc? Have you been using opks? I really hope you're feeling better soon ❤

@Madeoftea - I could have written what you wrote.. I totally relate to the numb feelings. I’ve definitely struggled over the last couple of weeks, having felt like I was doing loads better. I reckon your body protects you a little bit from the grief initially, then you have to focus on the physical things like waiting for the bleeding to stop and getting your first AF. It’s a distraction from all the emotional processing. It’s annoying but I think it just takes time, and doing little things for yourself to lift your spirits bit by bit - for me it’s good food, exercise (I’m finally back to yoga) and watching comedy.

@CMcA21 Oh hun I’m so sorry you had a panic attack - again I can relate - I ended up sobbing down the phone to a friend last weekend and was very panicky and breathless. It came kinda out of nowhere, though I had spent too much time watching YouTube videos about pregnancy after loss - I think it was too much to deal with. I’ve also deleted Insta - just don’t need to see other people’s supposedly perfect lives! Again, just give yourself time to process.

One thing I haven’t done but probably should do is some journaling - does that help anyone?

On a different note... I got my peak!!! Well, almost. Premom says it’s high but i’m taking it as my peak, haha. Judging by how rapid the surge was the month I conceived (the only other time I got a peak), the actual peak should hopefully be a few hours away. Look at all those low tests... I was getting seriously frustrated!

So lesson learned - my body is not a clock, and just because I peaked on CD 13 last time, it doesn’t mean I should despair by the morning of CD14 when it hasn’t yet happened, assuming my body is broken! That’s where I was this morning.

I literally jumped up and down in the bathroom like a kid at Christmas! 😀

@Lowkeyloopy looking good! ✨

Thanks @justwant2beamum , got my peak last night! Now just busy fretting because we didn’t DTD on Sunday, just Saturday and yesterday so far. My brain will always find something to worry about!

How are things with you?

Woohoo! @Lowkeyloopy if we don't hear from you mum today we will know why .

I woke up in such a bad mood. I just feel like I have nothing to look forward to and nothing to focus on. To make it worse an old friend has announced that she's expecting today. I normally get hormonal around this time in my cycle, which is making me think I'm not pregnant but I'm trying to stay hopeful.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Sorry, I meant if we don't hear from you today we know why...I don't know why mum slipped in there! I guess I just have it on the brain, ha!

@Flopsy88 thank you so much. My cycles were regular before yes, I think that's another reason that I'm so frustrated because it's still messing everything up, and this whole year so far seems like a wasted opportunity. If that makes sense? I'm still using opks and hoping for a peak in case it's just a super long cycle 🤞

@Lowkeyloopy I think that's it exactly. I've suddenly gone through the main stages and now there's nothing to stop me having to deal with it. I also think it comes in waves and is a continuous process but I've had a good cry and heart to heart with my partner which always helps, and we're getting ourselves away to the seaside this weekend for a change of scenery and quality time together.

Congrats on your peak. The month I conceived we were only doing every other day so you've still got a good chance!

Hope you’re all okay girls. Hope you’re feeling better @Madeoftea ❤️ It definitely comes in waves.

@Lowkeyloopy glad you got your peak!! Fingers crossed for you honey.

I’m not doing OPKs yet but doing my temp and tracking that way. Due to ovulate on Monday according to my apps. Would we say DTD every day from Saturday unless my temps say otherwise? I feel nervous as this is our first month actually TTC 😩

Hi everyone! Quick update from me, 9dpo today and officially started testing this morning. (I have a relatively short LP so AF is due on Friday).

BFN but I know it’s early so I’m still hopeful!!

Anyone at a similar stage in their cycle that will be starting to test soon?

Hello I was wondering if I could pop on and join this thread please?

I'm currently in the first month of ttc after a late miscarriage/stillbirth at 23 weeks at the end of January. It was my first baby and he was a beautiful little boy :( I'm not sure if my body has fully recovered yet tbh but I am desperate to be a mother to a living child so was keen to start trying again as soon as possible.

I'm currently 6dpo I think - don't think my chances are super high this month tbh because of a number of issues but still keeping fingers crossed! trying to hold off testing until 12 dpo but don't know if I'll manage

Ohh @lavenderlilaclily that sounds absolutely awful and I hope your feeling a bit better 😣💐!

It’s just so scary that things like this happen, I struggled with a first trimester miscarriage so can only imagine what you have been through!

Fingers crossed you get your rainbow baby soon 🌈 🤞

thank you @Aila1994 💕 I'm sorry to hear about your MC :(
It is really upsetting that things like this happen, I know now that if I do manage to get pregnant again I'll just never feel at ease after any "milestone" - feel like any joy of pregnancy has been taken away from me now! but it doesn't stop me wanting to be pregnant again soo much.

fingers crossed for your rainbow baby too :) hope this cycle is your cycle!!

@Aila1994 also 9dpo here. Already been testing (Bfns obviously 🙄) not hopeful this month as not had the huge rhr spike I had with BFP in jan and just generally feel like I'm out and not pregnant. 🤞🏻 for you ✨