Am I going to miscarry? Scared and frightened

[Greeneyesbiglashes]

Hi all,

I’m just looking for some guidance really. I’m lucky to have lots of support around me by really fantastic people, but I sometimes feel better talking to people who I don’t know I real life, where I can write without feeling like i’m weighing down on the people around me. It makes me feel better to write stuff all down too. Thanks for reading if you see this.

I found out on New Year’s Day I was pregnant, with my long term boyfriend. We were so happy. That was a Friday. By Sunday night I wiped and there was pink. I tried not to freak out and kinda pushed it to the back of my mind. I was due on my period on that day so thought it may be connected.

Since that Sunday (9 days ago) I have had spotting. Up until 2 days ago it has been light pink. There may have been some red spotting too in between but nothing alarmingly red I don’t think. Thinking back the red was more on the dark side. The last 2 days have been brown/really dark red. There has been no discharge. I am feeling a big sick in the mornings and have gagged a few times. I also think my nipples feel a bit sore. I have done a few pregnancy tests, the most recent one on Saturday (3 days ago) was clearly darker than the rest.

Last Thursday, 5 days after the spotting began I had a hospital appointment anyway as I was having tests. I came of the pill months ago and was spotting for a week, then having my period, then spotting for another week. The drs thought possible PCOS or just my body adjusting, but couldn’t have the tests due to me now being pregnant. They saw me and scanned me on Thursday anyway. This was with an abdominal scan as I had told them i’d been bleeding and they didn’t want to make it worse. I would have been 4 weeks 6 days at that point, they couldn’t see the sac, only that my lining was thick. The lady said I was really early to see that anyway as it was so early and as it wasn’t a transvaginal scan, it wouldn’t have been clear really anyway.

I had an abortion (with the same partner) back in 2018, my dad had just died and my mental health had plummeted, I was 9.5 weeks and never knew I was pregnant, I was on the pill the whole time. I remember bleeding at work with that pregnancy (when I didn’t know I was pregnant) and had to go home it was so heavy, however I was still on the pill so looking back it could have been my break week and my body would have made me bleed, I think. I’ve regretted it everyday and now think i’m being punished for what I did.

I have a scan on Friday, in 3 days, i’m petrified. I’ve not had any cramps yet nor clots.

I am just looking for some thoughts please?
Please don’t judge me for the abortion. I am ashamed of it and it breaks my heart daily when I think about it. Thanks for reading this. X

@Greeneyesbiglashes @unicornpower so sorry for the late reply. All was well, saw the little heartbeat and it’s measuring 7 +4 which is exactly where I thought I was. A successful day for all I think 😊xx

I kept refreshing for your news too @Luna30 how amazing!! I’m soo pleased for you. Do you feel a bit better?

Yes what a great day all round ❤️

@Greeneyesbiglashes

Ah the scan was late as they were running behind and then we had to drive to pick the dog up and then got sidetracked ordering and eating Chinese. An eventful evening. Yes feeling reassured for now!! Thanks love! Xx

@Greeneyesbiglashes my 12 week scan is the 12th March, so not long now, although it felt SO long yesterday when I was panicking like mad. Feels like I'm so close to the first major checkpoint and still so far away 😪 I want to be able to tell more people and sort of celebrate it a bit as we've just been so full of anxiety. I bought a babygro to give to hubby if all is well at the scan and I was so worried I'd tempted fate by doing that 🙈 how are you feeling today? I dont blame you for not agreeing to the trainee! I I had a trainee at the one I had at EPU but she had a go after the other sonographer so we knew all was OK and we just got to see baby for longer lol

@Luna30 thats fab news about your scan, you must feel so so relieved hun, I hope you enjoyed your Chinese, are you going to have another scan do you think?

[quote Luna30]@Greeneyesbiglashes

Ah the scan was late as they were running behind and then we had to drive to pick the dog up and then got sidetracked ordering and eating Chinese. An eventful evening. Yes feeling reassured for now!! Thanks love! Xx[/quote]
Oh bless you! Celebratory Chinese lol! We tend to get a Mcdonald’s after the scans (classy) so glad you are feeling better!!xx

Oops sorry @Luna30 that’s me above I name changed on a gender guessing post haha as I feel so on edge about getting too excited 🤣 xx

[quote unicornpower]@Greeneyesbiglashes my 12 week scan is the 12th March, so not long now, although it felt SO long yesterday when I was panicking like mad. Feels like I'm so close to the first major checkpoint and still so far away 😪 I want to be able to tell more people and sort of celebrate it a bit as we've just been so full of anxiety. I bought a babygro to give to hubby if all is well at the scan and I was so worried I'd tempted fate by doing that 🙈 how are you feeling today? I dont blame you for not agreeing to the trainee! I I had a trainee at the one I had at EPU but she had a go after the other sonographer so we knew all was OK and we just got to see baby for longer lol

@Luna30 thats fab news about your scan, you must feel so so relieved hun, I hope you enjoyed your Chinese, are you going to have another scan do you think?[/quote]
Ooo not long now! How exciting! It comes round so quickly. I got my 20 week scan letter today, it’s on my boyfriend’s birthday lol, so hope it goes well haha!

When would you tell people? After the 12 week scan? A few of my friends know, not in a nice way either it was when I was beside myself bleeding lol! Another one guessed on Friday! So not had a chance to actually tell people in a positive excited way 🤣

Aw the babygro is such a lovely idea! How cute. I know what you mean about tempting fate, i’m the same! However I think that’s such a lovely idea!!! I’m sure he would love it.

I’m feeling ok! I just couldn’t have a trainee looking around needed someone to say “heartbeat” straight away haha. I totally get the trainee looking after like you had! That makes it ok as you get extra time looking on the screen too lol like you say!! How are you today?

I didn’t mention before but I had the NIPT test done privately as I was so anxious about the Nhs Screening outcome (that I haven’t got yet), it came back today negative so I am feeling good. I’ve not opened the report yet as the gender is inside AHHH!!!

Ah gosh sorry @unicornpower
That’s me above! I sent me 12 week scan pic on another thread to guess gender and I changed my name as I got all anxious about tempting fate etc. i’m so silly!!

@Greeneyesbiglashes we have a McDonald's too! It's our celebratory meal of choice plus it was the only food I really enjoyed for ages so Its become a theme haha

@unicornpower mmm it’s the best isn’t it!!! I did reply to your message not sure if you saw it as I was silly with the name change but I said I loved the baby grow idea for your other half! That’s really cute xx

@Greeneyesbiglashes woops! Only just seen your response! Ahhhh such good news about the NIPT screening! I was considering it but its so expensive Isn't it and i think we will just have the NHS screening and then take it from there! Ooooooo I wouldn't be able to not look! Do you have a preference?

I think we will tell people once our screening results are back so we know all is hopefully well! I am dying to tell my friends haha have you told many? Ahh 20 week scan! That's crazy isn't it, bet it feels surreal!

Oh for sure, I wouldn't be happy with a trainee going first either and that shouldn't be protocol, i was happy with her doing whatever afterwards but in that initial moment you just want to see the baby and a know its all okay as fast as possible haha

I'm feeling okay thank you, how are you doing? Had a bad bout of sickness on Sunday and quite a bit of nausea yesterday so just riding it out now hope youre feeling much more positive after last week?

@unicornpower oh no worries love!! I just loved the babygrow idea 🥺 thought it was sooo cute!!

Yes NIPT was good... although all I got was a call saying “negative” and the report is sitting in my inbox, still sitting with my boyfriend like DO we?! My sister has bought a gender reveal balloon so the idea is that i’ll send her the report on Thursday and she’ll do the balloon for me! My boyfriend doesn’t really want to know but otherwise we paid £450 for a report we can’t read haha! No preference, although my scan pics I am CONVINCED it is a girl. Absolutely convinced! Already picking out clothes in my head haha.

Yeah I know what you mean about the screening! I was just sooo on edge about everything. I work for the LA as a practitioner for kids with SEN so I read a lot of reports all day and it starts to really play on my mind so thought ah we’ll just do it as you can do it from 10 weeks. In hindsight though, it is much more sensible to have the NHS one first of course. I’m just mad haha.

Do you have a preference at all? Will you find out?
I feel absolutely the same about telling people after the screening too, I think that’s sensible!
Have you told anyone at all? I told a few friends and I was so upset with the bleeding at the beginning and another friend actually guessed lol!

Yes re the heartbeat!!! It’s all you want to know isn’t it. I can’t be having someone take any longer than 3 seconds to confirm lol.

Oh bless you!! How you feeling today? Is it all day or does it come in waves? Yes i’m feeling ok thanks! Absolutely no symptoms about from sore boobs but i’ve lost them for a few weeks now so just holding on to that 🤞🏽🤞🏽

@greeneyesbiglashes oh thats such great news! It is worth every penny to get the all clear isnt it, ive started to get really nervous about the screening, just in case anything comes back high risk bit trying not to think too much! Did the tell you at the NHS scan about the nuchal measurements? Aghhh a girl would be so cute! Does your boyfriend want a surprise? I'm too impatient!

I have a really strong gut feeling its a boy! I dont really have a preference either way to be honest but I really have a feeling its a boy- It will be interesting to see if im right!

I havent told anyone other than my parents and my MIL, im really glad I did tell them though as I've needed the support! I bet your friends were over the moon for you weren't they?

My nausea tends to be worse in the evening, so i try and eat in the daytime, but tbh I'm 11+2 now so it is easing off a bit I think! It's mostly just nausea rather than vomiting thankfully. I'm with you on the sore boobs! Mine get really itchy too! And they've grown so much already its crazy. Have you got a bump yet?!

@unicornpower @Greeneyesbiglashes
Defo a huge relief after that scan, don’t think I’m going to do another one as have got one in 2.5 weeks. Not long to go.

Love that you both get a cheeky McDonald’s 😂😂.
Glad all was well with the screening, I hadn’t even thought of that, something else to worry about I’m sure.

@Greeneyesbiglashes let us know when your sister has revealed.

@unicornpower will you find out the gender?

Xx

[quote unicornpower]@greeneyesbiglashes oh thats such great news! It is worth every penny to get the all clear isnt it, ive started to get really nervous about the screening, just in case anything comes back high risk bit trying not to think too much! Did the tell you at the NHS scan about the nuchal measurements? Aghhh a girl would be so cute! Does your boyfriend want a surprise? I'm too impatient!

I have a really strong gut feeling its a boy! I dont really have a preference either way to be honest but I really have a feeling its a boy- It will be interesting to see if im right!

I havent told anyone other than my parents and my MIL, im really glad I did tell them though as I've needed the support! I bet your friends were over the moon for you weren't they?

My nausea tends to be worse in the evening, so i try and eat in the daytime, but tbh I'm 11+2 now so it is easing off a bit I think! It's mostly just nausea rather than vomiting thankfully. I'm with you on the sore boobs! Mine get really itchy too! And they've grown so much already its crazy. Have you got a bump yet?![/quote]
Ah I know exactly what you mean, when I got there and spoke to the lovely ladies at the hospital they were putting it into perspective for me around how statistics work etc. and it really calmed me. I think that’s why I let me head go a bit though and had the NIPT harmony test thingy. I’m normally a very anxious person anyway though! But I was reassured the chances are so slim.

Yeah they told me the NT measurements at the scan and I also asked if they could see the nasal bone. Then the NT measurements get put into a report that goes into your folder!

We found out last night we’re having a girl! I actually KNEW it, so weird how you just know?!

Oo yeah will you find out at all? My boyfriend didn’t but I wore him down haha. What does your partner think? Boy or girl? As long as it’s healthy my logic was i’ll be happy either way!

Yeah absolutely, it’s so important to have that support, otherwise it can feel very lonely! Although the support on here is great. I’ve not joined any groups as I worry about comparing everything haha i’m just very nervous!! But i’ve loved chatting on this thread, although it started off very scary for us all didn’t it! Yeah my friends were really excited! I have lots of friends who are pregnant at the moment so it has been nice to join the gang haha. Are you looking forward to telling people?

Hows your nausea now?! Anymore bad sickness? Yes a tiny little bump! I’m a really small girl anyway so don’t think you’d ever really know unless I told you at this point lol! Have you got any signs of showing?!xx

[quote Luna30]@unicornpower @Greeneyesbiglashes
Defo a huge relief after that scan, don’t think I’m going to do another one as have got one in 2.5 weeks. Not long to go.

Love that you both get a cheeky McDonald’s 😂😂.
Glad all was well with the screening, I hadn’t even thought of that, something else to worry about I’m sure.

@Greeneyesbiglashes let us know when your sister has revealed.

@unicornpower will you find out the gender?

Xx[/quote]
Not long to go now at all! How exciting. How are you feeling?

Try not to worry about the screening! I got myself into a state about it and the dr was worried about my anxiety levels as I was sure something would be wrong (no idea why, pregnancy has sent me mad)

Yes love it’s a girl!! Found out last night! All feels surreal. Will you find out?xx

@Greeneyesbiglashes ahhhh a girl! Congratulations 👏👏👏 that's amazing! I really want to know ours now haha we will definitely find out yes, I have no leanings towards either, as long as its a healthy bub I really don't care! I have a feeling its a boy though, just a gut feeling!

Whens your next scan? Ours is this Friday and I'm getting nervous now, I know all was well a couple of weeks ago but I'm panicking now 😅

This thread has been lovely, so nice as like you say, it was all quite a worry for us all wasn't it in the beginning! I cannot wait to tell some people if all is well on Friday, I feel like I've avoided most of my friends because of how ill I've been so I think they guess something is up

Nausea is much better thank you, get waves of it throughout the day and then its worse in the evening, but i just go to bed at about 8 to try and sleep through it. how are you? Has the bleeding subsided now? X

Hey girls! Everyone okay? I'm getting so nervous for my scan tomorrow! It's not until 3 so I've got to wait all day for it too. I'm feeling so worried that it'll be bad news 😞

@Greeneyesbiglashes wow, a girl, huge congratulations. So funny how you sensed it! I will definitely find out, I can’t wait to know.

Will try not to worry too much re the tests and screening, thanks for the heads up!

I don’t want to speak too soon but today is the first day I haven’t felt nauseous, I mean, I know it’s just gone 9am but this is exciting...
How are you getting on?

@unicornpower how is your nausea? Not long until your scan, try and distract yourself as best you can! Will your partner attend with you? Hoping all goes well xx

@luna30 how far along are you now? fingers crossed your nausea is subsiding for you, its so debilitating isn't it! Have you got a preference over the sex? I always thought i would mad for a girl but i have such a strong feeling its a boy now! I don't know why haha

I know, i'm trying so hard! this week has flown in actually so i am just ready to face the music tomorrow now. I just really hope its good news, I'll be a bundle of nerves tomorrow i think lol Yeah my husband can come which is great! I'm having the blood test screening too and i think he has to wait outside for that but can come in for the scan thankfully.

Is yours able to attend with you?

sorry @Luna30 My nausea has ramped up again since 12 weeks and had two bad sickness days this week and felt quite nauseous today- not sure if that is nerves though to be honest with you lol

@unicornpower I’m almost 10 weeks. Have my bloods booked in too for some tests, the midwife got in contact with me today, joys!

Yes, I really hope this is the end of the nausea, it really has taken over my life.

We don’t really have a preference, although only have boys names that we like, can’t think of any girls names so far 😂.
When will you find out about the gender? Private scan or at 20 weeks?

So pleased your husband can join you today, only 15 more minutes to go... got everything crossed for you. My partner also is able to join, his work are very flexible too.

Hope your nausea subsides once the nerves of today’s scan settle.

Xx

@luna30 our scan went great thank you! Baby doesn't like being prodded by the sonographer and everytime she got a good angle, it jumped out of the way haha! We will find out the gender at 20 weeks I think, we haven't got another private scan booked and I don't think I'll persuade DH now so I'll just hang on and wait! Its just over 6 weeks so not too long to wait!

We are the same, we have a boys name all sorted but can't agree on even a shortlist of girls names haha I like a mixture of traditional and quirky names and DH just likes one name and is being stubborn but im not sold on it lol

Hows your nausea? I'm nauseous most of the time but it doesn't seem to be making me as sick as it was so we will see

Hey ladies @unicornpower @Luna30

How are you both doing?
Sorry to being silent! I’ve had so much on with buying a house etc. so been soo overwhelmed haha.

Hope you’re both well!!

I had my 16 week midwife app today and got to listen to heartbeat which was lovely. 😬

I bled all throughout my 1st trimester. Some days light. Other days heavy like a period. Stopped in 2nd trimester. Ds was born fine and healthy. Try not to worry. Worrying won't change the outcome xx