Am I going to miscarry? Scared and frightened

[Greeneyesbiglashes]

Hi all,

I’m just looking for some guidance really. I’m lucky to have lots of support around me by really fantastic people, but I sometimes feel better talking to people who I don’t know I real life, where I can write without feeling like i’m weighing down on the people around me. It makes me feel better to write stuff all down too. Thanks for reading if you see this.

I found out on New Year’s Day I was pregnant, with my long term boyfriend. We were so happy. That was a Friday. By Sunday night I wiped and there was pink. I tried not to freak out and kinda pushed it to the back of my mind. I was due on my period on that day so thought it may be connected.

Since that Sunday (9 days ago) I have had spotting. Up until 2 days ago it has been light pink. There may have been some red spotting too in between but nothing alarmingly red I don’t think. Thinking back the red was more on the dark side. The last 2 days have been brown/really dark red. There has been no discharge. I am feeling a big sick in the mornings and have gagged a few times. I also think my nipples feel a bit sore. I have done a few pregnancy tests, the most recent one on Saturday (3 days ago) was clearly darker than the rest.

Last Thursday, 5 days after the spotting began I had a hospital appointment anyway as I was having tests. I came of the pill months ago and was spotting for a week, then having my period, then spotting for another week. The drs thought possible PCOS or just my body adjusting, but couldn’t have the tests due to me now being pregnant. They saw me and scanned me on Thursday anyway. This was with an abdominal scan as I had told them i’d been bleeding and they didn’t want to make it worse. I would have been 4 weeks 6 days at that point, they couldn’t see the sac, only that my lining was thick. The lady said I was really early to see that anyway as it was so early and as it wasn’t a transvaginal scan, it wouldn’t have been clear really anyway.

I had an abortion (with the same partner) back in 2018, my dad had just died and my mental health had plummeted, I was 9.5 weeks and never knew I was pregnant, I was on the pill the whole time. I remember bleeding at work with that pregnancy (when I didn’t know I was pregnant) and had to go home it was so heavy, however I was still on the pill so looking back it could have been my break week and my body would have made me bleed, I think. I’ve regretted it everyday and now think i’m being punished for what I did.

I have a scan on Friday, in 3 days, i’m petrified. I’ve not had any cramps yet nor clots.

I am just looking for some thoughts please?
Please don’t judge me for the abortion. I am ashamed of it and it breaks my heart daily when I think about it. Thanks for reading this. X

Yeah according to my last period I should be 10 weeks today but because of that scan I’m only 7 weeks +2 so the dates can be out. Funny how it all works.

Hopefully all goes well for you ✨❤️ There’s nothing worse than just waiting. I’ve now booked a private scan for two weeks time cause don’t think I can wait until 12 weeks. Think the worrying never goes away x

Oh really @jessi60 that’s so interesting?! I don’t understand it at all really haha. Good luck with everything your end!! I don’t blame you for booking a private scan.

I’m going to go to the one on Thursday, if all is well i’ll then book a private one.

Look after yourself ❤️❤️

I've heard before that due isn't that accurate with early scans.

My early scan changed my due date by about 11 days and then at my 12 week scan it changed back again to about 5 days diff to my date I calculated by LMP

https://www.madeformums.com/pregnancy/wrong-due-date-from-pregnancy-scan/

So don't worry too much

@TJ17

Thanks for the info!! That’s interesting to know. Mad how it can change that much!!

Thank you for the link too!xx

@Greeneyesbiglashes hey lovely, oh im glad it was a fairly paotove outcome, how are you feeling? Sending you loads of love!

Im okay thank you, the brown discharge returned this morning after two days of nothing which has sent me into a meltdown, my period was due around Wednesday so im hoping it is just hormones etc. I got a 2-3 on a digital yesterday so im just praying its all okay x

Hello hun @unicornpower thank you! I’m okay, still feeling very anxious but I think most women usually do at the stages were at! Thanks for thinking of me x

I really think yours will be the change in hormones as it’s so early, also the tinge of brown is just old blood mixed with CM which is normal to increase at the beginning of pregnancy as i’ve read! Have you contacted anyone about it to be on the safe side? Online it says it’s so common. The fact it’s just brown discharge and nothing else I think is really positive. Do you have anything else with it like cramps or anything? Sending love xxxx

Also @unicornpower the 2-3 on the pregnancy test is really good :)! I’m far too scared to even do another one. There are 2 sitting in the drawer in my bathroom!xxx

@Greeneyesbiglashes that word was meant to say 'positive' on my last post haha sorry! So you're going back next Thursday? How are you doing? Has the spotting stopped?

I havent got cramps or anything so im trying to be positive! Im scared to contact anyone as we are technically due to start IVF in March, if this is on my record as a pregnancy and then a loss potentially, we can't get help until 2022 which is so far away so im reluctant to draw attention to it yet, especially being so early as there isnt much they could do yet as im not even 5 weeks if I go by my last period so I think I just have to wait and see

Glad everything seems to have settled down now. Good luck!

@unicornpower haha I knew what you meant, don’t worry! Yeah i’m due to go for another on Thursday.

Well it had stopped, but it has started again, I just went for a wee and there was some CM along with very light pink blood on the toilet paper. So feeling really down again.

Glad to hear you don’t have cramps! That’s good news. Oh okay hun I understand your reasonings, that makes sense! I think see how things go then. Fingers crossed it stops for you! I’m sure it will. It’s just such an anxious awful time isn’t it. I feel emotionally battered! Just look after yourself xx

@rainbowstardrops thank you... well, I just went for a wee and wiped and there was some pink blood on the toilet paper which has set me off again :(.

Hi OP, I don't have any advice but I didn't want to read and run. I'm thinking of you and hoping everything is ok. I can only imagine how stressed you must be feeling with all of this. Please look after yourself xxx

@Greeneyesbiglashes oh no, well im still hopeful for you love and will keep everything crossed for you for Thursday ❤ I spoke to my SIL yesterday and she had 12 days of pink/brown spotting and her baby is fine so try and think positive. This part is the worst as you literally do have to just ride it out. Here if you need a chat x

Thank you @november90 that is really kind of you to reach out ❤️

@unicornpower had nothing today yet... wondered if it came following the internal scan but hoping it stops now and doesn’t come back! Although my ‘symptoms’ feel like they have kinda gone. I am trying sooo hard to stay relaxed! So hard!

Interesting to hear about your SIL. I’m glad to hear all was well with her in the end! How are you feeling today xx

Hi OP, how are you?

I think I'm going through something similar, I had a faint positive test on Thursday, followed by a digital confirming on Friday at 12dpo. I've had watery brown spotting consistently since, every time I go to the bathroom. I've also had some cramping each day and I'm really starting to worry because most things I've read say that implantation bleeding happens before a positive test.

I think I'll try and ring my gp tomorrow morning but I did do another cheap test this morning and it had got a lot darker. I'm just so anxious and lonely! Not to mention stuck at home with lockdown and nothing to distract myself :(

@Greeneyesbiglashes oh maybe that was it and now its settled down now? Ughh today has been stressful, I got a 3+ on a cb digi so thats good progression from Wednesday BUT the brown spotting is still persisting and I wiped some pink/light red too but its all gone back to brown now! I am trying to make my peace with another loss but it seems odd that my hormones have climbed so much! The HCG threshold for a 3+ is 2773 so I have no idea whats going on

@Madeoftea oh im sorry to hear you're stressed! Its so worrying isn't it! Be prepared for your GP to just tell you to wait it out, unfortunately there isn't anything they can do before 6 weeks, its so rubbish but just try and take your mind off it all as much as you can xxx

Sorry @Madeoftea I meant to say too, implantation can be at the time you'd expect your period to arrive so dont worry if it wasn't before then! Brown is usually nothing to worry about, thats what the nurse said to me last time (I did miscarry but it turned red very quickly so i wouldnt worry just yet) I got my positive last Monday and was spotting from Sunday to Wednesday and its ramped back up today so I totally get how you're feeling xxxx

When I had a miscarriage I had bleeding and painful cramps. With my second child light bleeding and a full term baby.
Fingers crossed for you my dear.

Hey @Madeoftea i’m okay, well anxious but I understand it is a very stressful time for most women! How are you feeling??

In terms of the spotting, i’ve read sooo much that that can be normal. Especially the brown! It’s such an awful anxious time. I was beside myself for 10 days. I still am really! But I have been told unless it’s bright red and period like cramps then it usually is ok! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I also had it every time I went for a wee, there were drops in the toilet and when I wiped. It varied from light pink to darkish red/brown. I think it’s a good sign the pregnancy test has got darker.

I’m so sorry you are feeling that way. It feels incredibly lonely doesn’t it, I really found that talking on here helps ❤️ I hope you’re okay xx

@unicornpower mmm yes maybe! My boyfriend keeps saying be positive be positive but it’s soooo hard. My symptoms are not here today!! I’ve just had a crying sesh. He thinks i’m mad lol!

With the spotting and colour of blood, I had the exact same thing, it went from light pink, to dark brown redish then proper brown, then back to light pink! My hormones also kept increasing I think and then also had the spotting which eventually stopped apart from last night although not had anything today so far. How far along do you think you are now?? 5-6?

I’m so worried, I can’t bring myself to take another digi test... last Monday it said 2-3 weeks so that’s 4-5 so that means that this week say Monday would have been 5-6 so when I went to the scan on Monday, they said it was around 5 weeks, it’s really set me off :(.

Are you still waiting to see what happens before contacting anyone? Do you have any cramps or anything. I think it’s a good sign there is no bright red blood xxx

3+ that’s really good progression! Love that!

@dingit thanks for sharing! I’m sure everyone will appreciate hearing your experience with all of that. Sorry to hear about your first miscarriage.

@Greeneyesbiglashes I think I must be around 5? I had my first positive last Monday but then the clear blue said 3+ so my hormones must be fairly high. Its so confusing isnt it, when I saw the pink my heart just sank as with brown I could tell myself it was all fine and old blood etc. Its back to really light brown now and hardly any of it so I dont know what to think! I dont have cramps or anything no and feel tired but thats prob all the worry!

I think its quite normal for scans to push you back a bit to be honest so I wouldn't worry toooooo much about that! My SIL went thinking she was 7 weeks and she was 5 1/2 and all is fine so far so try and stay positive, its a great sign you've had no more bleeding so try and hold onto that x

@unicornpower mmm yeah see that’s what they said to me but the date of my last period would have made me 6 weeks on Fri so that’s why i’m so worried! And the CB tests kinda make out last week I was 4-5 so this week should be 5-6 and I thought I was 6 on Friday so my head really has gone!!

My heart sank when I saw pink too but again they told me at the hospital when they could only see my thick lining right at the beginning that brown and pink is ok! Also, when I was pregnant and had a termination... still mortified even writing that, I bled HEAVILY red blood. I assumed it was my period as I had no idea I was pregnant. And all was fine scan wise when I realised I was at 9.5 weeks. So out of an awful experience I had I still have hope for us!

Did your SIL thinks she was 7 weeks based on her period dates? Trying to hold on!! Hope you are ok. How is your other half doing?x