Am I going to miscarry? Scared and frightened

[Greeneyesbiglashes]

Hi all,

I’m just looking for some guidance really. I’m lucky to have lots of support around me by really fantastic people, but I sometimes feel better talking to people who I don’t know I real life, where I can write without feeling like i’m weighing down on the people around me. It makes me feel better to write stuff all down too. Thanks for reading if you see this.

I found out on New Year’s Day I was pregnant, with my long term boyfriend. We were so happy. That was a Friday. By Sunday night I wiped and there was pink. I tried not to freak out and kinda pushed it to the back of my mind. I was due on my period on that day so thought it may be connected.

Since that Sunday (9 days ago) I have had spotting. Up until 2 days ago it has been light pink. There may have been some red spotting too in between but nothing alarmingly red I don’t think. Thinking back the red was more on the dark side. The last 2 days have been brown/really dark red. There has been no discharge. I am feeling a big sick in the mornings and have gagged a few times. I also think my nipples feel a bit sore. I have done a few pregnancy tests, the most recent one on Saturday (3 days ago) was clearly darker than the rest.

Last Thursday, 5 days after the spotting began I had a hospital appointment anyway as I was having tests. I came of the pill months ago and was spotting for a week, then having my period, then spotting for another week. The drs thought possible PCOS or just my body adjusting, but couldn’t have the tests due to me now being pregnant. They saw me and scanned me on Thursday anyway. This was with an abdominal scan as I had told them i’d been bleeding and they didn’t want to make it worse. I would have been 4 weeks 6 days at that point, they couldn’t see the sac, only that my lining was thick. The lady said I was really early to see that anyway as it was so early and as it wasn’t a transvaginal scan, it wouldn’t have been clear really anyway.

I had an abortion (with the same partner) back in 2018, my dad had just died and my mental health had plummeted, I was 9.5 weeks and never knew I was pregnant, I was on the pill the whole time. I remember bleeding at work with that pregnancy (when I didn’t know I was pregnant) and had to go home it was so heavy, however I was still on the pill so looking back it could have been my break week and my body would have made me bleed, I think. I’ve regretted it everyday and now think i’m being punished for what I did.

I have a scan on Friday, in 3 days, i’m petrified. I’ve not had any cramps yet nor clots.

I am just looking for some thoughts please?
Please don’t judge me for the abortion. I am ashamed of it and it breaks my heart daily when I think about it. Thanks for reading this. X

Thank you @unicornpower i’m so nervous...! Just have a terrible feeling. Thanks so much though. Yes will let you know xx

Thank you @rainbowstardrops xx

Sorry I can’t offer much advice. Just wanted to tell you not to feel guilty about the termination, you did what was best for you at that time and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you have the healthiest of pregnancies.

Thank you @MariaA11 that is really nice of you to say. I appreciate your kind words. X

Hey @unicornpower and everyone else, I had the scan and it was great, I saw the embryo and also the heartbeat!!! They said everything looks great. I am apparently 6 weeks 1 day! Thanks for everyone’s support!! Xxx

Oh @Greeneyesbiglashes I am SO happy for you! What amazing news! Now go and relax before you turn yourself grey with worry! Sending you massive hugs! Over the moon for you xxxx

Thank you so much! I was hoping to just see the embryo but to see the heartbeat too was great. Yeah I need to chill out I cried as soon as I walked in 🤣. Thanks girl!! So sweet of you. How are you getting on today xxxx

@Greeneyesbiglashes

Thank you so much! I was hoping to just see the embryo but to see the heartbeat too was great. Yeah I need to chill out I cried as soon as I walked in 🤣. Thanks girl!! So sweet of you. How are you getting on today xxxx

@unicornpower

So happy for you! Congratulations.

This is lovely to read - congratulations!

Thanks @Ismellphantoms and @trackiesandasmokeyeye that’s so kind of you!!xx

@Greeneyesbiglashes im okay thank you, just plodding on at the moment! Counting down the days until the 1st Feb for my early scan! Spitting has subsided (at least for now but im sure it'll come back!) I'm so pleased for you xxx

Bless you girl @unicornpower are you doing to the EPU? Not sure where you are in the world but i’m in Surrey and the EPU was good here so hopefully you have a good experience too

Glad spotting has subsided, I assume you meant that than spitting haha that did give me a giggle though! Mine has been on and off too but I am constantly being reassured that it’s common and just keep an eye on it xxx

Ahhh @Greeneyesbiglashes that's amazing news 😃
Finally seen your little bean! That one is going to be trouble when it's older - hiding like that and causing you all this worry 😅

Keep us posted about you get on in the next few weeks (I feel invested now ahah)

@TJ17 thanks so much! I was so pleased to see it and wasn’t expecting to see the heartbeat like I say, so such a huge plus! I know ffs 🤣 i’m drained already and only week 6!

I absolutely will, not to get to the 12 week date!! thanks again for your kind messages and support xx

@GreeneyesbiglashesNo I think im going just for a private one all being well, our EPU is GP referral and they'll only see you if you have bleeding and or pain so we are just going to pay for one! Hahah im glad you knew what I meant 😅 🤣

Its just annoying isn't it, like its just the worst symptom!

Sorry I only just saw this @unicornpower how are you today?

Ah yes that makes sense. How is the spotting now? I think i’m going to book a private one too.

It really does feel like the worst symptom for sure!!
X

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to update you all, I just had another scan (because of continued bleeding and cramps) all was well though, saw the heartbeat and was estimated 7 weeks 5 days.

Thanks for everyone’s support. Hope everyone is well xx

So glad you're ok OP ❤️ I've been thinking about how you've been getting on. These early days are so challenging and worrying! I bet you can't wait to get to that 12 week point.
Fingers crossed the cramps and bleeding subsided for you ❤️

Thanks so much @november90 for thinking of me! That’s really kind. Corr it’s not how they show it on TV Is it lol!! They did a proper look round and couldn’t see any cause for bleeding anywhere so that has reassured me a lot. I can’t wait for 12 weeks lol!! It was nice my partner got to see it in the big screen too xx

So glad that all is still ok 👍🏻

@Greeneyesbiglashes thats great news that all is okay, is the bleeding still here? What a pain in the backside! Still, its good as it doesnt seems to be affecting baby.

I've got my scan tomorrow when I'll be 6+4, terrified of it all to be honest and just coasting through today 😑 eeeek wish me luck!

Thanks @rainbowstardrops hope you’re okay!xx

Hello love @unicornpower wondered how you were getting on!! It’s on and off tbh hun. I lost a bit of lining too which really did upset me. I need to snap out of the negativity because it’s making me feel awful! So thought I just had to go for this scan last night and paid for a more extensive one which was worth it I think.

Ah yes girl, you’ll be fine. How is everything now? I’ll be thinking of you and crossing my fingers girl. Sending so much love your way. What time is it?xx

@Greeneyesbiglashes oh bless you hun that sounds awful, at least baby seems to be okay? Have you another scan booked?

Im okay thank you, ive had no more spotting for about ten days so im hoping all is okay, the sickness hit me hard last week so im just praying that all is okay tomorrow. Weve paid for a recurrent miscarriage scan which they apparently have a bigger checklist so its a bit more in depth which im glad about tbh x