TTC 12 months buddies please

[Whilstwewait]

Hi,

We have just hit the 12 month mark of TTC and looks like AF is on the way I am on another thread that's really supportive but I do find it disheartening when people get positives on the first couple of cycles of trying. So thought I'd start a thread for anyone around about the year mark. It'll be good to share things and get advice from people who are at a similar stage to me. Im 34 and my husbands 36. We are TTC number 1 x

@Chel93 I've had back and hip pain this month which I was hoping was positive, also spotting 6 days post ovulation. I think I'm going to test again tomorrow as AF is due on Friday. I've had a bit of spotting this week so I expect I'm out but don't want to give up hope quite yet!

It definitely nice to be on this thread with people experiencing similar things. 😊

@Motherofkittens28 aw that's so reassuring the way you said it and makes complete sense. I won't be worrying anymore. Im definitely not looking into things too much now. Im going to trust the experts.Its great that you have eggs frozen as a back up option. I met my husband at 29 so didn't really consider anything like that. We started trying at 33 after our wedding and i just assumed it wouldn't take long. Do you normally spot before AF? Will you test Friday? Im spotting lots taken a couple of tests but nothing on them. I do feel more crampy this month normally spotting doesnt cause pain. So may be too early but more than likely its AF coming

@chel93 your time definitely isn't up. You've had a healthy pregnancy before im 100% positive you'll have one again. Same for all of us one day we will look back on all of this and it'll be a blur and so worth it. Mm your symptoms do sound positive. Do you normally cramp at this stage? I had what I thought was implantation bleed 5dpo once so definitely possible

@Gemsy18 yes first for both of us. Once we are lucky to have one baby i definitely won't wait long to try again. Knowing my luck 2nd time would be quick. I really do think if no issues it really is just luck how long it takes people which makes me feel completely unlucky xx

@Whilstwewait I've got endo but hasn't stopped previous pregnancys but has got worse which I think is why I'm struggling this time round trying to conceive that and my age 😥. Definitely not unlucky just hasn't been your time yet as they say good things come to those who wait 🥰

Thank you for starting this thread, sorry everyone is here, but hopefully some people will get good news soon!

We are just coming up to 12months TTC#1, the GP has organised blood tests for this month, but the labs here aren't doing SA and gynae aren't accepting referrals at the minute either, so we are going to go privately for the rest of the investigations.

We are currently wondering whether we tell our families we have got to this point, they are well meaning but I'm not sure I can take many more 'we want grandchildren' hints. Has anyone here told friends/family or are you keeping it to yourselves?

@Motherofkittens28 fingers crossed you get your BFP does sound very promising your symptoms, no dont give up till AF comes 🤞👏
@Whilstwewait i really so hope so thank you 🤞 yes it really will one day we will all get are BFPs and hopefully its soon for us all, no never I'm normally fine the day of AF ill come on very light and the next day ill get pains, so bit strange for me this month, also my partner said my snoring was very bad this morning n I only snore when I'm pregnant 🤞🤞 but I could just be symptom spotting

@itssoooofluffy Hey, that's really frustrating about SA and gynae, have they said when they are starting back up? As my partner has got an appointment for SA book for the middle of July as they are just starting up again.
I told my family as they know how much we want a baby. They are very understanding and supportive. One of my sisters only took a few months but my mum was saying she took a year to conceive my eldest sister.

@Whilstwewait I'm glad to have been reassuring. I don't think I ever used to spot before AF but everything seems to have changed in the last year since we've been on this journey. Now I usually start spotting at least 2 days before AF. I had quite a bit last night so we had a bit of a cry about another unsuccessful month. This morning its stopped again though and there is nothing on the pad overnight. I didn't test this morning though d I'm sure AF is coming. Seeing how upset my fiance is is somehow even worse than how I feel myself. I've been chasing for my day 21 test results for 3 days now, the hospital tells me they are with the consultant but his secretary won't answer my emails! I feel like the most awful person every time I nag but I need an answer!

@Fran2020 not yet, DH rings every week but they don't know when they will start again. It seems to be quite variable, I've heard some people, like your partner, have got appts in the next few months and others have been told 2021. We will keep pestering in the hope we can save some money by not going private for too much, thank you!

Glad your family have been so supportive 😊

@itssoooofluffy sorry you have found yourself in the same situation. Its so shit. I wish TTC was easier for us all. In terms of telling people. We got married last year and were pretty open before the wedding about wanting to start a family so I think most people are probably aware by now that its taken us a while. I only talk about it with my old work friend as I feel they are more detached than my childhood friendship group and find it really helps. Since we hit the year mark I talk a lot to my mum about it as well. I must admit before we got to this point i always thought id be really open but its difficult to talk about without welling up.

@Motherofkittens28 my AF is now here in full flow and i'm just so grateful to be finally starting a new cycle. I know what you mean about your fiance. I hate telling my husband every month that we are out. He has wanted this for even longer than me. Sometimes i wish he didn't care as much and was more 'aw dont worry it'll happen it just takes time' and more positive. When we are both upset its hard for one of us to pick the other up. That's do annoying about your results. My doctors did mine and literally had them back the next day. Terrible if you've paid for them. Keep nagging. Sometimes you have to nag to get somewhere xx

I have just had a call back about private treatment. The lady was so nice. We are looking at mid to end of August for our consultation then about 12 week wait for any treatment as they are currently only able to work to 50% capacity by law but she is hopeful that may change. So im really happy I took steps now rather than waiting till Sept which we orignally decided. I just need the AMH blood test before which they will arrange. I feel more relaxed now. Its all in someone else hands. Im going to leave it all to the professionals and just do as im told and we have at least 3 cycles of just trying naturally and hopeful we won't even need to go. Fingers crossed xx

@Whilstwewait sounds like you're making progress! I hope the capacity increases and you can get seen sooner. I know what you mean about AF, sometimes it's more a relief that the next cycle of trying can start again when she turns up, as opposed to having to wait. I've just started spotting and I know AF will be here soon but until then I'm now in that limbo.

Going to join you ladies, as we just hit the 18months ttc mark trying for our 1st and feel like it's time to stop lurking!☺️

We've been fairly relaxed about ttc (as much as you can be!) but with no luck since mc last May I'm starting to think we might need a little help. Doctors appointment booked now, thanks to this thread!

@itssoooofluffy Hopefully they will start again soon and your partner can get an appointment. It's really variable which doesn't make sense! YeHh we cant afford to go private. Thank you 😊

@Whilstwewait thats great news re the appointment in August and that its making you feel so much better. I think the lack of control is one of the worst aspects of all this so its good when you feel you can take it in your hands and see some positive steps forward happening. I'm still spotting but stupidly I'm still hopeful that its not over this month. I've had a nosebleed every morning for the last three days so I've googled and of course, like everything, that's a potential symptom! I've been spotting now for 7 days which is definitely not normal for me. I got my fiance to phone the consultants PA yesterday as she was still ignoring me and she was quite rude and said she had been forwarding my emails to the consultant and that he would write to me with the results. I dont want to wait for a letter the way the post is these days! Grrrr

How is everyone holding up? Still haven't been able to speak to the fertility clinic over my blood results spoke to the outpatients booking line and my app got put on a 6month delay so next app is for October 😢

Thanks for all that offered advice from my comment. I did take on board what you'd said and I attempted to make contact with the gp. But I pretty much got fobbed off.. No more appointments left, try back after this time, blah blah. So I guess I will try again next week (if I don't get lucky before!)

I really have only started tracking my ovulation this past month. And bizarley, I believe I ovulated late. Cycle Day 27/28. But I'm almost certain I ovulated around day 14 too. My cycles are usually anything from the 30 day mark, between 30 and 32. But from what I can only imagine is down to weight increase, my cycles have been strange past couple of months one being 26 days and the other being 28! But I'm currently on cycle day 31 after ovulating around day 27 so I guess until AF appears, can't count me out just yet right! I really am keeping my fingers crossed! Not just for me, but for all of us.

Its comforting to know we can support each other through this.

Best wishes to everyone

Xx

@planbea I was glad when mine arrived as I just knew from the spotting I was out. Is your AF here now? How long are your cycles normal?

@pbfingers welcome to the thread. Sorry its taking you a while to conceive and sorry to hear about your mc. I would recommend starting the testing even if its just for peace of mind so its good that you have got your appointment sorted. How old are you?

@Motherofkittens28 Thanks i actually feel excited about trying for a baby again rather than thinking it'll never happen. We are so lucky we can afford private. It'll wipe out our savings probably but be so worth it. Im sorry if any doctors secretaries on here but I always find most of them really rude. I know they're busy so probably have to be strict but still you're paying for the service. Your symptoms sound promising when will you test?

@Chel93 In doing really good thanks although AF is being a bitch this month i feel excited about trying for a baby again rather than the negative thoughts ive had before that it'll never happen I can now imagine being pregnant and having a baby. Omg bet you're so annoyed. Covid had caused so much trouble. Its made this TTC so much more difficult. Hopefully you catch before then. Xx

@ordinarylilac sorry you got fobbed off my doctors keep trying. If pubs can open doctors can see you. Its a post code lottery with doctors isnt it so frustrating. Mine is thankfully really good. Have you done a pregnancy test? Id heard Lh can surge just before your period or just before a positive and you may have ovulated day 14 like you thought

Hope everyone has a fab weekend. Xx

@whilstwewait yes my doctors are frustratingly poor. Even more frustrating as I maybe go once a year, if that. I'm never there!
I have been using the clear blue fertility monitor, this was for the first month. I only ever got high around mid cycle, I never got a peak. 10 days went by, stopped testing becsuse they are so expensive and didn't feel like I was getting anywhere with it, but then cycle day 27 ish and boom, a positive peak. I have taken pg tests, they've been negative. FRERs, and other cheaper early detections. I did however get a very faint positive clear blue early.. But I think it was the dreaded evap line that the blue dyes are renowned for. That's when I used the FRERs etc and all have been negatives 😒

@Whilstwewait no, I usually seen to have 2-4 days of spotting recently, which fits in with low progesterone levels. I'm only on CD26 and my cycles have typically been 31-33 days so it's quite early this cycle.

@OrdinaryLilac fingers crossed for you, you're definitely still in so far this month! Is your GP usually any good? I've just switched due to moving house, I almost cried leaving my old GP as he was excellent through my other health rpovlems. Don't know how the new one is yet.

@Chel93 oh no! A 6 month wait feels like forever, but the speed at which 2020 is going it might be here before you know it. Or a cancellation might pop up for you! Fingers crossed.

@planbea No, the doctors have always been terrible. Repeatedly see on social media about the local community stating how hard it is to get appointments and how rude the reception staff are. And this was before covid haha. And of course, these comments are backed up from my own experiences too. Hoping I get some good news this weekend so I don't have to call them! Fingers crossed for us all x

@OrdinaryLilac is there another surgery near you? Before I signed up to my GP (and the last one) I looked at NHS choices for number of doctors to number of patients, hours of opening, accessibility of appointments etc. The doctors I would have naturally signed up to had a few less patients but less than half the number of doctors, and people always struggled with getting appointments there according to reviews but the other was mostly fine unless you wanted to see someone in particular!

@Whilstwewait is it at least your thinking positive now though looking forward to trying again next cycle, as seing yourself being pregnant with a baby is so positive so you'll feel less stressed finger crossed for next month for you. It really has hasnt it oh I really hope so I hope we all do soon 🤞🤞
@PlanBea it really is going so fast isnt it ive already done 3 months out of the 6 so only 3 to go till October hopefully I'll of got caught by then 🤞🤞

Morning all AF arrived in full force last night ao its the start of a new cycle for me :( Wishing all of you still in the 2WW better luck xxx

@planbea yes there are other doctors surgeries in the area. But it would be a shame to have to leave, having been with them since birth! But it is something I will definitely consider if I continue to have no joy. I wasn't aware you could check statistics either, but that's really useful information to know, thank you!

@Motherofkittens28 aw I'm really sorry that this month isn't your month. I keep telling myself, it's gotta be sometime, right!? Keep going, it'll be extra special when it happens.

I still haven't gotten AF yet. Not even any signs so I reeeeeeally am hoping this month's my month. I just hope I don't jynx myself by saying this.

I really do believe I ovulated late. I have done opks since and they've been negative, so surely that can be an lh sure before my period? (me hoping that anyway) The positive opk was 5 or 6 days ago and since they've been negative. Thoughts anyone?

Is the average length of time ttc up to 18 month?

@OrdinaryLilac the link is here - pop in your postcode and it tells you about your local GPs, how many male/female GPs, patients, satisfaction ratings, services etc. Hope it helps if it comes to that!

www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp

@Motherofkittens28 sorry to hear you're out this month. I'm still spotting but know AF is coming. Hopefully July will bring some baby dust to us both