TTC 12 months buddies please

[Whilstwewait]

Hi,

We have just hit the 12 month mark of TTC and looks like AF is on the way I am on another thread that's really supportive but I do find it disheartening when people get positives on the first couple of cycles of trying. So thought I'd start a thread for anyone around about the year mark. It'll be good to share things and get advice from people who are at a similar stage to me. Im 34 and my husbands 36. We are TTC number 1 x

Hi ladies. So just had my first telephone consultation with the doctor. She’s referring me for an ultrasound and DH has an appointment next week. She’s booked me in for day 21 bloods too.
I have shorter cycles (24 days) so she says do one week before so day 17. They couldn’t do day 17 so have done day 16. I usually ovulate day 13, is day 16 long enough after ovulation to have the test? I don’t really know enough about it

I’d like to join. I know how you all feel with pregnancy announcements and threads where people get a BFP on their first cycle.

We’ve been ttc for 12 months, but I’m currently on my 14th cycle.

I’m 32, DH is 34. TTC # 1

I’m currently 11dpo so when AF comes I’m going to start the ball rolling with an appointment at the Drs. Pretty sure it’s on it’s way - temp dipped today and BFN yesterday.

Hey @Lauralozzle we chat over on the other thread but think we're better off here for sure!
@Nat4392 I don't know Nat, hopefully someone here knows tho! So glad they were quick to see you. Hope mine don't read the notes from last month and question me. Gonna call in August as I'll be cycle 12 end of this month and month 11.

@notyetamumbuttrying I’ve changed it to day 18 now for more peace of mind. My doctor didn’t question anything in terms of how long/how many cycles etc thank god! I just said it’d been a year and she’s booked me in for everything thankfully

@Nat4392 you're better off a little late than a little early on a CD21, it's less likely to show the progesterone rise if you're too early and could give the wrong result. Hopefully day 18 should give you a better reading!

Hi @Lauralozzle! Welcome to the group. The only positive I can say for an imminent AF is a new cycle gives a new chance. Hopefully your GP can get you an appointment quickly to get tests booked in. It's so soul destroying all the waiting around!

Wish I'd done that last month @Nat4392 ah well! You live n learn. Glad you changed the day. I'll have to be cd18 as well then with our matching 24 day cycles!
So my friend has just asked when are we gonna start ttc in a WhatsApp group with another girl who knows how long we've been trying for as we were trying together until she went n got pregnant in March lol! I'm so shit at lying! I might just say well we already are and nothing yet, but I don't want her knowing yet as she's had a troubled past with unwanted pregnancies from the mans side and I know how funny she can get. 😬

Oh @notyetamumbuttrying how annoying! I hate getting the direct question! I tend to avoid it by saying something like "I like my lie ins too much" then change the conversation. When will people learn not to ask, it's not like you're going to say "oh, I hadn't even considered it, thanks for the idea"!

@PlanBea haha I know! I thought I had already deflected it by saying I know 10 ppl all giving birth between now and dec and not one of them is me. She then came bk with the "so when are you gonna start trying if you haven't already". As if you'd ask so casually in a group with another girl in. It's the kinda question for face to face seeing as what a big deal it is. I'm so torn with what to say as I've always been quite vocal about the fact I want kids, and with our one year wedding anniversary next month it's the obvious question now.

So I said to her yeah defo and some excuse about my periods settling down first 🙄 then threw it bk to her and said has her bloke come round to the idea yet. (He has 3 kids already from previous and said he didn't want anymore) she's now said she might break up with him cos she can't see him changing his mind. 😬 I'm still at work and it's too much drama for one day lol!

@notyetamumbuttrying if only we could go back in time and tell ourselves not to blab it would make life easier now. You could blame covid/recession/healthcare restrictions? There's a pandemic on, an entirely sensible reason to not try to conceive that she might accept?

@PlanBea I decided on a bit of truth as my intention was to tell that group once we got to the year mark and were going for the tests. So it'll be a bit of shock to her but not as much now. She'll just be surprised it's longer than what she first thought/was told.

@chel93 great news. Hopefully wont be too much longer for you x

@notyetamumbuttrying I cant believe she asked out right. People are so rude. I think its harder when you're married as everyone just assumes. I was open about wanting to try once we were married. Now we have been married a year no one asks. I think they must know its taking us longer. If we do have fertility treatment ill be open about it after but think we will keep it family only whilst going through it. I don't want the added pressure x

@Nat4392 great news on your consultation I'd say 7 days after ovulation is best as progesterone should have risen enough by then to confirm ovulation. So your new date seems perfect. Any earlier would probably not be accurate. X

@Lauralozzle sorry its taking you longer as well. Definitely get the ball rolling. I got bloods after 8 months and the sperm anaylsis for my husband then covid hit and everything got delayed. We are on cycle 13 now. Its so up and down. I used to temp but a temp drop would just put me in a bad mood. Made the wait for ovulation even longer as I knew from 9 DPO she was on the way. Xx

@Hayley19835 im at the same stage as you. Looking forward to our appointment and a plan. Will make me feel more in control x

Hows everyone else doing? Im still a week away from ovulation. Felt good last 3 days. Then last night started worrying about egg quality and reserve cant wait for our appointment now to see the fertility consultant. Fingers crossed its August x

@Whilstwewait I'm with you, hate not being in control and this waiting game. Just want a plan of action.....like yesterday lol x

@notyetamumbuttrying anyone that asks me now or says you'll be next or isn't it about time you had one I'm blunt with and tell them how it is! Usually shocks them that much they change the subject. People can be so insensitive and don't realise how much people can struggle to conceive x

@Nat4392 I'm the same as you with a 24 day cycle so had mine tested on day 17 as my doctors advised day 21 which is no good when you have a 24 day cycle 🤦🏼‍♀️ fertility clinic doctor shook her head and advised I got it retested and said most GP's have no clue and just say 21 days to everyone dispite cycle length x

@notyetamumbuttrying hi 👋 I definitely think this thread is probably better for us. I feel bad moaning so much, but I become irrationally irritable at the BFP people get straight away. Point blank jealously- but TTC has turned me into a bitter cow 😂

I can’t believe someone asked straight out if you’re trying. That’s something you should feel you want to share, not get pressed into sharing before you’re ready.

My friends don’t know we’re ttc - they know it’s on the cards down the line, but I think they think we’re trying to get the house sorted first. Which isn’t a lie, we are trying to get the house sorted! Just ttc at the same time!

@PlanBea thanks :) I just want AF to hurry up to get the ball rolling. Waiting for my period is like being in Limbo right now.

@Whilstwewait thanks - temping is a bit of a nightmare! I have better months than others! Will definitely get the ball rolling as soon as AF arrives. I’m a bit petrified of the whole thing though, I think there’s probably something wrong with me - I have painful periods so I wouldn’t be surprised if they found something, but at the same time, I’m scared they’ll find something terrible!

I definitely think AF is on the way, I’ve had intermittent cramping today, but no spotting yet. I expect my temp will drop further tomorrow and spotting will start.

I’ve got a bit ahead of myself today and have been researching IVF clinics and the cost!

@Lauralozzle aw i know what you mean about being terrified. Im terrifed of the AMH test saying ive got hardly any eggs left. I ovulate like clockwork though and other bloods were fine about from one being just above normal. I think once you know though you can have a plan in place. Up to 2 years TTc is normal. Im only rushing because im 34 now. I did the frantically searching ivf clinics and the cost when my period arrived on cycle 11. I think contemplating them is the most difficult part. I just didnt feel ready last month but this cycle i decided i didn't want to wait any longer and feel more at peace with that maybe being our journey for a baby. The clinic were lovely. From my research its about 6k for one cycle but can get multi cycle deal for 10k which i think we will go for if it comes to that as wouldn't want too much pressure on one cycle. As i think every transfer was another 2k. Wereby multi cycle covered 2 retrievals and as many transfers as it took. xx

@Whilstwewait yeah no shits given 😂 I guess partly my fault for being so vocal about wanting kids after the wedding. I then had selling our flat as an excuse but that got put on hold because of Covid so I guess everyone goes bk to asking me about ttc. Yeah think I'll try and keep it quiet until after initial test results as if nothing is wrong then we can just keep ttc. If it's that tubes need clearing or Dh has dodgy sperm then think I'll tell my mates. Some know already but from different friendship groups.

@Hayley19835 yeah that's my plan for the year mark! As I'm just within it still, I still feel it's all to play for but we shall see...
Good to come across another 24 day cycler like @Nat4392 and myself! We thought we had a lonely club for two 😂. Have you been pregnant before if you don't mind me asking?

@Lauralozzle it's hard not to be bitter when ppl just swan into threads with their bfp after two cycles 🙄
Yeah it's ballsy of her but that's defo her personality!
Yeah we're flat selling/house buying again soon and ttc. No one questioned us about ttc when the flat was on the market but as soon as it wasn't anymore I've been fielding off ttc questions lol! What's wrong with these nosy buggers?! 😅

@Hayley19835 i know when i rang and they said maybe mid august for consultation then 10 weeks after that for treatment i thought perfect gives more time to try naturally and now im like hurry the hell up before my eggs get any older 🙈 xx

Hey lovelies looks like I'm going to be joining you all very soon, I'm 11dpo of cycle 11, period due Sunday but my temps have dropped for 3rd day in a row 😢

Not helped by my age (was 41 on Tuesday, partner was 40 last week).

I've had all the blood tests required for referral, partner was about to get his done when Lockdown happened so we are just waiting for the clinic to reopen here so he can get his SA done.

I'm getting so fed up now, I ovulate pretty much as standard every month (pos opks then confirmed by temp rises) but still no luck. Have a 28- 30 day cycle, ovulate on around cd14/15.

@notyetamumbuttrying i always thought I was the odd one out with a 24 dayer but good to know I'm not alone! I had a miscarriage in December 2018 at 7 weeks since then nothing has happened but discovered OH now has a low count and also crap motility so we have got that to contend with also. He has a child from a previous relationship but she's just turned 18 so I guess a lot can change in that amount of time. He's at hospital tomorrow for a Testicular scan and genetic bloods so we can find out what's occurring there 🤞🏻 x

@claireb707 are you trying for no1? Do you know when the clinics will reopen in your area? It's good you're regular, hopefully just a matter of time now!
@Hayley19835 nope, you're in good company here 😉 sorry to hear about your MC, that must've been hard. Oh wow, well good luck for tomorrow then! How long until the results?

@notyetamumbuttrying yea it was a tough time but had a good support network around me 🥰 Thanks, I'm nervous for him he's not good with the whole examination thing....typical man!
Our next apt at the fertility clinic is August so I'm guessing we'll find out results then x

[quote notyetamumbuttrying]@claireb707 are you trying for no1? Do you know when the clinics will reopen in your area? It's good you're regular, hopefully just a matter of time now!
@Hayley19835 nope, you're in good company here 😉 sorry to hear about your MC, that must've been hard. Oh wow, well good luck for tomorrow then! How long until the results? [/quote]
Yes no1 (for both of us, we've been together nearly 5 years)

Not sure the clinics will reopen, need him to ring the docs to find out but he's being a typical male and keeps putting it off, for all we know they could have been open a few weeks 🙄

Not sure when.... Stupid fat fingers sorry

@Hayley19835 best of luck for next month!! We're going to the drs next month. Due on end of the month so will be calling on the 1st!
@claireb707 we're trying for no 1 too, it's so hard with the wait when you don't know if it's just time of something else. Hope all the tests come bk fine. Are you being referred through the nhs?