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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

One fucking year

179 replies

FthisS · 27/11/2019 16:47

That's how long it's been now. I would happily never have sex again but I know by the middle of next week I will be singing the welsh national anthem in my head.

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/12/2019 06:46

I have bought all of our presents but haven’t wrapped anything yet. If I wrap too early, I just forget what’s in each one. BlushGrin

zoomies1 · 04/12/2019 12:40

Hey all, this looks like my kind of thread!

To those who are wondering about when to go to the GP, it depends on your area. In mine, even if you are over 35, you have to have been trying for a year. If you are in your 20's, they will likely make you wait for two. Unless, you have a specific issue. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, just don't be surprised if they say no to investigations at that point.

I had a specific issue - virtually non-existent periods and was still told by smiling, nodding doctor, 'Don't worry, just keep trying' after my MMC.

I'm at home today after a GA and hysteroscopy for light periods. Had to go private (through work thank God). But resent having to miss important work events when hubby just swans in and out.

To join the throng - I am happy for other people who get pregnant, but I still feel sick when I hear the news and I am still resentful that I am taking about 5 vitamins and do what you are told are the right things and people who actively harm themselves fall pregnant at the drop of a hat in terrible situations. And those who mistreat their kids....well.....

I also hate the terrible scheduled sex. HATE IT.

Maisy24 · 04/12/2019 18:16

@FthisS it's either laugh or cry haha! Ooo home schooling sounds interesting but also hard work! @BeingATwatItsABingThing I can't believe you have both bought all your presents I haven't so much as bought one yet 🙈 I'm so unorganised.

@zoomies1 hello! Welcome to the place of no judgement! I also have very light periods, and got the smile and nod treatment from the doctor! Can I ask what a GA and Hysteroscopy is?

I have private healthcare at work, but I've never thought to use it for fertility I just assumed it wouldn't cover fertility.

Sounds like you are making progress now though with these tests you've had!

Xxxxxx

zoomies1 · 04/12/2019 18:39

@Maisy24 hiya.

You are correct. Most insurance policies won't cover anything to do with fertility but I look at the period issue as a gynaecological problem so its different (you have to be careful when speaking to them so you distinguish between them).

GA - general anaesthetic.
Hysteroscopy is a procedure where they insert a camera through your cervix to make sure there are no issues like Ashermans syndrome.

I don't get the results until 31st Dec so wish me luck!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/12/2019 19:04

I have Maisy24. I have to start early otherwise I’d never get it all done.

Original poster
FthisS · 04/12/2019 19:23

@zoomies1 welcome to our world...it's shit but we have a bit of humour (even if it is rather dark). I'm sorry you find yourself with us though.

OP posts:
Lotus90 · 04/12/2019 21:32

@zoomies1 To those who are wondering about when to go to the GP, it depends on your area. In mine, even if you are over 35, you have to have been trying for a year. If you are in your 20's, they will likely make you wait for two. Unless, you have a specific issue. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, just don't be surprised if they say no to investigations at that point.

Following these guidelines is bad advice. Get to the GP as soon as it's clear that conception isn't happening for you and (I would never normally advocate this) - fib! If you've been trying for 8 months, say it's been a year. Don't actually wait for a year if you're already 35+. You'll have lost valuable time to identify problems when every day your fertility is in decline.

Maz91 · 04/12/2019 23:04

Looks like this thread was made for me lol.

Been TTC for about 18 months. Periods used to be like clockwork and as soon as we started trying...all over the place. Luckily my GP referred me onto the local hospital.

My cycles now last between 8 and 10 weeks. Day 21 blood tests (although I no longer know when day 21 is) revealed I wasn't ovulating and HSG showed no blockages in my tubes although the cycle after my HSG was bang on 28 days. After that, back to irregular and weirdly long cycles.

I had a follow up at the hospital, expecting to be put on some medication to regulate hormones/ovulation as the previous doctor had mentioned this last time. Instead, a new doctor now told me my only option was IVF. I was shocked and stunned into silence (and tears). Fortunately hubby was there to do the rest of the talking for me.

I tried asking why my cycles were so irregular and all I got was 'it's normal for cycles to be a little off here and there'. I've now been referred onto an IVF clinic which I am grateful for, but I also feel like I have received zero answers and have no idea what is going on with my lady bits.

Really getting sick and tired of not getting any answers. Also everyone around me seems to be falling pregnant...trying to mellow my bitterness because it is consuming me and becoming the focal point of my day to day life.

crazychemist · 05/12/2019 07:44

@Maisy24, that’s hilarious about the vitamins! Conception invades the bedroom even when you’re not dtd! Some days I think I’m so full of vitamins I must rattle when I move..... DH looks so unimpressed when I hand him a pot with dinner Grin

@FthisS, how are you finding homeschooling? I don’t think I’d ever manage it. Is there a reason why you’re doing it at the moment, or is this something you’ve been doing long term?

@zoomies1 your position on being frustrated by people who fall pregnant easily when mistreating kids seems very reasonable! To my shame, I think I’m slipping into unreasonable judgement. There’s a lady who I often see at my local Children’s centre, who I realised yesterday is probably pregnant. Was horrified by how I found myself instantly judging her - she has 3 already and they are all “boisterous” and I think she struggles to manage their behaviour. When did I become this bitter? Blush

@Maz91 I’m sorry to hear your appointment was upsetting. Glad that you got a referral, but it must be very frustrating to not know what’s wrong. I’m surprised that they don’t try hormonal treatment first, I’d think that’d be much cheaper than IVF.

zoomies1 · 05/12/2019 09:28

@Lotus90 I actually agree with you. Particularly if you are older. I would have told a small white lie to get faster treatment but I didn't feel like I could because I had an MMC really early on and they had the dates etc. But that's why I pushed to go private for gynaecological reasons - I wasn't prepared to wait any longer!

I am just letting people know the response they will get if they are honest which is between 1 -2 years to wait if you are honest. That way, people can decide what to say to their GPs.

@Maz91 that sounds really shit. It seems extreme to go straight to IVF but perhaps the specialist will have a different view when you see them

Annie20019 · 06/12/2019 22:30

Sorry I have been rubbish at keeping up with this thread - I have been so ill this week 🤒

How are we all?
AF still hasn’t arrived, my friend thinks I should do a text but I can’t face the crippling disappointment!

What have you all got planned for this weekend?

Annie20019 · 06/12/2019 22:32

Reading this thread guys has brought a tear to my eye, you’re all so resilient!

Mooey89 · 06/12/2019 22:50

@Annie20019 there’s not choice but to be resilient - otherwise I think I’d break dowb

poltergust · 06/12/2019 23:08

@FedUpofTTC so sorry to read what you've been through and your loss Thanks

Maisy24 · 06/12/2019 23:17

@zoomies1 ahh thanks for explaining and best of luck for the results!

@BeingATwatItsABingThing yeah I wish I did! I started today , Amazon is going to be my saviour, I cannot face the shops.

@crazychemist I know I'm the same, i am currently taking 8 tablets a day 🙈

@Maz91 welcome! I've been ttc for around 16 months so not far off you, I would have thought you'd be out on Clomid first to bring on ovulation? did you ask why they have suggested IVF straight away? Is definitely ask this and find out a bit more info. Agree with everyone around being pregnant. I feel like the whole world is pregnant except me. I actually looked around in work the other day and out of the whole floor( about 60 people) there was no one above 35 without kids. how have they all managed it 😩

@Annie20019 sorry to hear you've been ill, hope you are over the worst!

I've been doctors today and I'm being referred to the fertility clinic, I actually feel so much better now I'm on the list. I will be chilling out this weekend, and dtd as I'm cycle day 11!

Xxxxxxxx

Maisy24 · 06/12/2019 23:59

@zoomies1 ahh thanks for explaining and best of luck for the results!

@BeingATwatItsABingThing yeah I wish I did! I started today , Amazon is going to be my saviour, I cannot face the shops.

@crazychemist I know I'm the same, i am currently taking 8 tablets a day 🙈

@Maz91 welcome! I've been ttc for around 16 months so not far off you, I would have thought you'd be out on Clomid first to bring on ovulation? did you ask why they have suggested IVF straight away? Is definitely ask this and find out a bit more info. Agree with everyone around being pregnant. I feel like the whole world is pregnant except me. I actually looked around in work the other day and out of the whole floor( about 60 people) there was no one above 35 without kids. how have they all managed it 😩

@Annie20019 sorry to hear you've been ill, hope you are over the worst!

I've been doctors today and I'm being referred to the fertility clinic, I actually feel so much better now I'm on the list. I will be chilling out this weekend, and dtd as I'm cycle day 11!

Xxxxxxxx

Annie20019 · 07/12/2019 07:51

@Maisy24 ah I’m okay thank you! I am feeling sorry for myself.

AF still isn’t here! I caved in and have ordered a test, while I don’t think it is our month I need to rule it out! I have decided to make contact with the GP - life isnt slowing down and I want to at least work out if something is wrong!

This place is such a supportive environment!

Annie20019 · 07/12/2019 07:52

@Maisy24 good for you for going, I have everything crossed for you!

Sending lots of Baby Dust!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/12/2019 07:53

Do you reckon my doctor would see me after a year? I can’t fudge my dates because I went to him with my EMC in January so he’ll know it’s not more than a year.

BabyMoonPie · 07/12/2019 07:59

Can I have a rant please? My period started on Wednesday and that's 12 cycles. It randomly hit me that I can tell you how many times I've had sex this year because of TTC and having an app full of data. I'm fed up of having sex (and feel awful for saying that because I love my husband) and I loathe my useless body. I'm 40 next year and acutely aware the stats are against me. We'll try again this month but if I don't get a positive pregnancy test in the new year I'm having January off to take stock. We do have DD so I know I've a lot to be thankful for but I don't feel our family is complete yet

BewilderedBee · 07/12/2019 08:50

Not sure if it helps, I went to my GP just under a year. I came off the pill mid October but told her it was September and I went to the GP mid August. She said that by the time they do my bloods anyway, and wait for certain cycle days etc, that it will be a year so she went ahead and booked me for bloods. I was then referred. If I were you I think it's worth going early as by the time they do tests one cycle, then time is already ahead. If they insist on it being 12 months, then so be it, but there's nothing to lose!

I'm gutted - AF arrived for me today. that's 14 cycles now. I remember last year thinking I'll be likely to have a baby by Christmas, or at very least be pregnant. 14 flipping months?! Most people I know have conceived and banged out a baby in that time! 😭

On a positive note, this is the first month I haven't used a test! (Cos I've practically given up) At least I've saved a little bit of money - every cloud and all that!!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/12/2019 09:24

Thanks BewilderedBee. I think I will give them a ring if AF arrives. According to my AVA, she was due yesterday but nothing yet.

Maisy24 · 07/12/2019 11:01

@BewilderedBee so sorry AF has arrived, I know the feeling of giving up, we are at similar points in the TTC journey; have you been referred yet? I went to the doctors yesterday and they are referring us. I'm so sick of the whole thing 😣

Annie20019 · 07/12/2019 12:43

@BewilderedBee I’m sorry AF arrived!

I totally get what you are saying, so many people around me have fell pregnant and had babies since we started our journey!

Good luck to everyone!

BewilderedBee · 07/12/2019 13:01

@Maisy24 yes, all my bloods came back fine but we got referred and we had our first appointment in October. Our first appointment was to take all our health history and schedule other tests. Since then I've had an ultrasound, several more blood tests and my partner has done one SA, another taking place in the new year. Our next appointment is 21st Jan with a consultant to discuss our results. So it's taken approx 7 months from GP appointment to seeing a consultant! Do you have an idea on timescales?