One fucking year

[FthisS]

That's how long it's been now. I would happily never have sex again but I know by the middle of next week I will be singing the welsh national anthem in my head.

@FthisS it was you even... the H from steps comment. Had me giggling!

@Mycrazylife85 @FthisS the H from Steps had my laughing too!

Sorry you are having period issues also. Hopefully these blood tests can help find out what is going on!

@Maisy24 it is SO annoying - my best friend recently fell pregnant the FIRST TIME they had unprotected sex - she is in her first trimester and is constantly relying on me for support about how awful it all is for her - she keeps referring to her baby as "this thing" etc...I know she is just hugely hormonal and struggling with the changes to her body but Jesus fucking Christ just be bloody grateful will you!! She knows we have been trying for over a year now too... I am starting to have those resentful feelings not wanting to see her etc and feel like a bitch... and I know this is just adding to the stress and making my chances lower... and then another friend announced her pregnancy last night... gaaahhh losing the plot!!

@Yogahorseygirl that doesn't sound like it's you being awful, she is. I don't believe people can be that unaware of how hard it is to struggle, even before I started ttc I would never have complained about pregnancy to someone ttc, and I'm not even a baby person!

I'd try and distance yourself just a little for your own sanity. Hopefully you get your BFP soon. I know after 2 years trying the percentage goes up, and I've read quite a few people getting pregnant around this mark, you have plenty of time for it to happen yet ❤️

Thanks @Maisy24 ... same to you!! Fingers crossed for all of us!

I think your right, I keep telling myself she's just not an empathetic person but actually it seems just inconsiderate.

@London91 when did you decide to go to GP? Was it after one year?

Xx

God even reading that last message I feel like a crazy person because I love her dearly!

God yes to the inconsiderate pregnant people. Someone at work is pregnant and she knows that someone else and I are struggling and it’s all she can talk about. I get it. It’s exciting for you but for us it’s like you’re ripping our hearts out.

It’s her last day today luckily so she’ll be out of sight, out of mind. However, someone else at work has just announced their pregnancy so it’ll start all over again. They had a baby shower for her on Wednesday and our staff room is all decorated. Makes me want to scream every time I go in.

It fucking sucks big time, I get angry seeing the baby name threads on here. Oh to be in such a pickle deciding on a name, I wish to fuck I could hide certain sections.

In a way I'm glad I have no friends or family because I would not cope seeing someone close have a baby I'm just so bitter. It's bad enough passing people on the street, the worst was when I saw someone lean into the hood of their pram last week TO LIGHT A CIGARETTE! How do they get to have a baby how is that fair.
This month I'm thinking of having sex every day from when my period stops up until day 17. I'm currently cd2 where is everyone else at?

I’m CD25 so I’m in the waiting period. I didn’t use any OPKs this month. I thought I’d give myself a month off from the stress of it. I am not going to test either I’ll probably cave. Just see if AF comes or not.

AF just arrived on cycle 12, devastated. Feeling like I’ve lost all hope now and unsure how to be happy (gosh, sounds depressing!). Lots of friends and family are waiting to here happy news from us and I just feel awful I can’t give them any. Dreading Christmas now.

@bluevelvet1 I'm so sorry, I feel exactly the same like what's the fucking point.

How old are you all? I'm 35 in January feel like my last chance has gone. I hate H right now I just look at him and fume, it's like he's robbed me. I know that's irrational but what was the point of making me wait so long. I would love it if this month he would just do it in a cup so I can inseminate sex feels so bloody seedy right now. I just want to be bloody pregnant.

I’m 27, so not too pressured on age but husband is 35. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, is he being unsupportive? My hubby just gets annoyed when I get upset my I think that’s his way of coping. We have booked in for private tests next month. Have you been pregnant before? Your last chance has definitely not gone, most of my friends have become mothers 36 +.

I am 25. Had first DD at 19 when DH were first together and DTD all the time. Now I don’t feel sexy and feel like sex is a means to an end. I’m trying really hard for it not to be like that but I’m struggling.

Sorry you are dealing with this OP. It is so frustrating and it seems like everyone else is pregnant or pushing a newborn (to me anyway!)

I have had two losses this year, one full term, so it’s been at least 2 years TTC if you count all that, plus dealing with losing our baby... I can’t help but feel it should be easy for us after all of that but life isn’t fair sometimes. I don’t know what to suggest. I feel fed up but you are not alone and I believe it will happen one day and then all the waiting will not matter.

On the plus side both times I got pregnant it didn’t take too long (4-6 months) but the couples I have met though baby loss are mostly all into their second pregnancies by now.

@Maisy24 not had any tests done. I have a DD, and I’ve heard that doctors really won’t do much if you already have a kid, so i can’t bring myself to go there and be told to relax or similar!

Relax, it'll never happen if you're stressed! Book a spa break!!

@Yogahorseygirl I had investigations after about a year. Had to have blood tests between days 2 and 5 of my cycle and day 21 to check ovulation. My consultant recently redone them and also did further tests to see whether I have a blood clotting disorder and to check ovarian reserve. But it's taken 3 years for me to get further tests as I have been pregnant 3 times it's considered secondary infertility. But if you're 35 or older I think they start investigations after 6 months.

@London91 thank you. Time to get tested then I think. This is our first time TTC and we're 13 months in. OH went to drs yesterday and is going to get sperm count checked to rule that out. I'm certain there is an issue with me as have been having acupuncture for around 6 months to try and balance my hormones and I'm still having issues. AF is due on Tuesday and this cycle my period pains started on MONDAY!! so that's 8 days of PMS and it's bad - not just light cramps - strong cramps and sharp breat pain and crying all the time. This is the second cycle I have experienced this and it's such a head fuck because I spend the whole week thinking I must be pregnant and then do a test and nope and then AF arrives right on schedule! And have lost count of how many times I have googled "implantation symptoms" it's not even funny!!

@Yogahorseygirl After 13 months I'd say there's still a really good chance there could be absolutely no underlying issue, but it doesn't hurt to check and rule things out. I already had a very good idea that getting pregnant wouldn't be easy for me as I had a large cyst removed from my ovary in my late teens but was told after surgery my fertility would be normal, it turns out the right side of my ovary is near enough non existent. I've not had acupuncture before, but that will be my next step in the new year.

@London91 yes that's true - I'm totally in catastrophic thinking mode at the moment but I know for some this is really early days!
I have my fingers crossed for you xx I hope you get a BFP soon you have waited long enough!

Has anyone heard of Robyn Birken? She's an Aussie lady with a podcast all about TTC - she's all about positive thinking etc so I'm going to jump on her band wagon this cycle onwards and upwards... we WILL have babies! Haha

Sorry everyone I have been so busy I keep forgetting to come one to reply.

@Yogahorseygirl well I actually went to the doctors within 6 months as my periods were light and short so I was worried to begin with. I had the usual day 5 and day 21 blood tests, and everything came back "perfect" they said and it should happen within a year. Anyway so I then tried to relax but I got to another 4 months and it still hadn't happened so I started opks and also temping from January/feb to make sure I was ovulating, and my charts look perfect except some cycles were quite long some months, but definitely ovulating. Anyway I then went back to the doctors again at a year and they done the internal pelvic scan, the doctor said everything was normal. So the advice was to keep on trying. Then at around 14 months (about a month ago) my DH went for SA test all came back high count, the only thing was morphology but they said that didn't matter with such high counts. Again doctor advised to carry on trying. We are now at around 16 months and going insane 😭

@FthisS I feel your frustration, I started using clear blue advanced opks last month and it was SO much easier, I'm doing them again this month, maybe you could give them a go rather than trying every day , that sounds exhausting! Also 35 is no where near the last chance! I know so many people who now only start trying at this age. Don't lose hope.

@bluevelvet1 so sorry you are going through this, I know how you feel it's just exhausting to carry on every month. I'm 31 and feel like i have been trying for 10 years 😅. at least you have the tests next month so you can feel like you have a plan. Sometimes I thinks it's better when someone comes back from the tests, rather than no problems found like me! Keep us updated xxx

@BeingATwatItsABingThing did you get pregnant quick with the first one? I wish I'd started trying at 20 instead of being sensible and getting my career and house sorted first 😟 people don't warn you it will be this hard to conceive.

@FedUpofTTC so sorry for your losses, that's awful. Hopeing you get a BFP very soon! It is good that it doesn't seem to take long for you to get pregnant, that's definitely a silver lining.

@crazychemist ah right yeah; it always amazes me even more when people struggle who already have kids, i have always said I don't want just one, but I can't ever imagine it happening just once at the minute, never mind twice! It's just not fair.

I wasn’t trying for a baby (I know, I hate it when that happens now too) so yes, it was quick. Downside is, I don’t know what I did to get pregnant. I don’t know what my earliest symptoms were.

@FthisS can I join, I feel exactly the same as you, my 'H' knew 5 years ago (already together 4 years at this point ffs) that I wanted to start trying now I'm 35 in a few weeks, 1 miscarriage in & TTC for 1 year. I keep reading online articles for 'average times couples take to conceive' & freaking out.

I'm fuming with him & holding onto serious resentment towards him, I know this is not healthy! I distinctly remember saying to him 'what if we have issues it could be too late' & guess what......there's issues!

I am so sick of the 'when are you two having kids' questions....now I'm isolating myself from the people who ask this / might ask! I don't know about you but I'm mentally exhausted.

Also 35th birthday melt down coming 5 days before Christmas, then AF should be due on Christmas Day if this month doesn't work sorry for rant!

@Pearlg you have said exactly how I feel about H. Right now I could throttle him. It seems like the easiest thing in the world because every fucker seems to be having a baby. I know an ex heroin addict alcoholic who got pregnant at 45 adter a one night stand HOW IS THIS FAIR......Fuck I hate steps now too

FthisS Thu 28-Nov-19 05:35:03
I've wondered this exact thing @Maisy24 how the heck do people get pregnant by accident, I'm all shagged out.
.........
Oh bless you, it must be galling.

I've known people who had 'an accident', later on tried to become pregnant again and didn't though nothing medically wrong with either of them. It's just the way things are.

I really hope you won't have too much longer to wait but in the meantime, please try and get the most out of the life you have, have some fun, do something useful if you can. Then, in the future, when you look back it will be with a smile rather than thinking what a waste that time was.