TTC after baby loss / stillbirth

[ReeRi]

I’m mid-thirties. My first child was stillborn at full term early this year. My second pregnancy, around 6 months later, ended in early miscarriage.

I’m now on CD21 and about 5DPO.

Anyone else?

I find some of the TTC boards hard to relate to as they’re either those who have never suffered a loss or those who have had early losses / RMC or general fertility issues. I am not trying to compare losses. Any loss is difficult but I know for me my miscarriage at 5 weeks did not even register compared to losing a baby at full term. It was disappointing but more so because I wanted to be pregnant and wasn’t any more.

[ReeRi]

Thanks @lunamoon1 I am CD28 now so expecting AF anytime but at the back of my mind I am hopeful because it’s not here. I have very strong PMT symptoms so that suggests AF is coming but usually when it gets this bad it’s only that way for a couple of days but I’ve been like this since the weekend 😫 (I get bad PMT). Ovia think AF is due Saturday. Clearblue app thinks it’s due today... but I probably would have got a positive on FRER on Monday if it was going to be positive.

Baby dust to everyone else!

I have a day off today which is nice 😬

[Tazzle2007]

Hi ladies I did the test today i would like your opinions please. Am I going mad or can anyone see a line on here I’m going to post pic xxx

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi it's such a mind game isn't it, waiting for something to happen. Maybe plan something nice for IF AF turns up, so soften the blow a little, it's never a nice time, but you're not out until then! Lovely, make the most of relaxing and taking it easy if you can, we need to be kind to ourselves.

@Tazzle2007 I can! Maybe wait a day or two & test again, but gentle congratulations until then💫

[Tazzle2007]

Yes I’ll wait a couple of days and see as I’ve heard about evap lines but it did show within 10 mins but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Sorry ladies my posts have been short and sweet! I’m so busy at the moment as I have 3 children 12,10 and 7 and I work part time. Also my daughter who was stillborn was supposed to be starting school in September and I see my friends daughter who I was pregnant with the same time every morning and afternoon at the school! It’s been tough. Also I haven’t been to her grave in months and I feel so guilty but I find it so hard to go there. Also another thing is I’m 37 and like I said I didn’t think I’d have anymore children but my partner doesn’t have any. I’ve even said to him in the past maybe he should find a younger girlfriend (he’s 33) and start a family without having the extra worry of still born or miscarriage. But he said atleast try and if it doesn’t happen that’s ok he will still be with me and love me. My friend who is 39 just had twins at 38 weeks so that gives me hope I will have a successful pregnancy. Thank you for welcoming me to this group and listening to me as soon as I get another chance I’ll read through all your situations and hopefully I can give some good advice/ listen and be here for you xxx

[ReeRi]

@lunamoon1 Thanks. Yes I’m kind of expecting AF but there is always that hope isn’t there. On the plus side, PMT is so bad AF might be a relief in that sense. Are you just about in the 2 week wait now?

@Tazzle2007 Looks positive to me. It’s swings and roundabouts so don’t worry about not always having time to reply to everyone. We probably all have a lot on in different ways and people will post at different times but it usually evens itself out!

[Pandora71]

@Tazzle2007 looks like a line to me. Test again soon

[Pandora71]

@ReeRi still no AF? Will you test or wait?

I’m mid cycle somewhere. Don’t think I’ve ovulated yet.

[Tazzle2007]

I’ll test again Friday! As hcg doubles every 48 hours so the line should be darker by then and I’ll deffo know! Pandora are you using ovulation strips to see when your ovulating? Xx

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi always hope! I feel for you, it's not something I've suffered with but I can imagine it's not pleasant at all. I think so, I started temping too about 2 weeks ago but I haven't had a rise yet, yesterday and today are the lowest they have been, so we will want and see what the next few days bring..

[Pandora71]

@Tazzle2007 yes I am using cheap ovulation strips. I expect ovulation in the next few days. I have long and variably cycles so it helps me to keep track.

[ReeRi]

@Pandora71 Well I have been to the bathroom recently and a hint of spotting so think that will be AF. At this point I’m relieved the PMT will be gone soon

@lunamoon1 How do you find temping? I found it such a faff having to do it at the same time and before you move around much etc...

[Tazzle2007]

Don’t lose hope yet! Spotting can be implantation! After that hcg takes 2-3 days to show in a test! I didn’t even know I was pregnant with my daisy as I had a full period at 4 weeks pregnant xx

[ReeRi]

Thanks @Tazzle2007 If only! Well I’m assuming it’s AF and if it isn’t then that’s a bonus. If PMT does disappear today then it probably is AF... x

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi Its okay, I find it's more of a headache that a help, going to see if it helps this 'cycle' (if I can even call it that), but will probs not carry it on much longer if I just keep getting a plateau of temps... I didn't use it when we were last TTC so don't know why I started this time round! Did you enjoy your day off?

@Tazzle2007 hopefully you see a darker line in a few days!🤞🏼

[ReeRi]

@lunamoon1 Yeah see how it goes. I have had a good day thanks. I have worked a bit but I’ve also been to Zumba this morning and I’ve given the house a good clean which makes me happy 😬

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi sounds very productive, also had a house clean yesterday, always feels good after! got a temp rise this morning I think so here's hoping it continues🤞🏼

[ReeRi]

Fingers crossed for you @lunamoon1 🤞

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi thank you, they stayed up this morning but not by much, hopefully tomorrow it will shift upwards a bit more.

How is everyone doing?

[ReeRi]

I’m still hormonal but spotting do AF is definitely on the way - worst of both! It’s Friday though!

How is everyone else?

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi it's horrible how long it's dragged out for it seems! Doing okay thank you, my SIL is due this coming week so that's playing on my mind a bit, it's hard to come to terms with but trying not to think too far ahead! Easier said than done mind you.. apart from that just trying to relax as much as possible

[ReeRi]

@lunamoon1 Oh that’s tough. I’m having a little bit of a down morning. Just feeling a bit sad about little one but I’m sure I’ll be ok when I get up and do something.

It’s a nice day today anyway.

[Pandora71]

Hey. I’m off out to a family birthday party today. Always without my DD.

Somehow also trying to dtt. My poor brain...

[lunamoon1]

Also having a down day. AF arrived out of nowhere yesterday, after my positive OPK's and temp rises I was a bit shocked, but I guess my body had a different plan. Trying not to dwell on it tho and looking to this as my body 'resetting itself', I hope!

Hope you are feeling better today @ReeRi

@Pandora71 I hope the party isn't too tough to you, well done for getting out and being part of it, very brave!

[ReeRi]

I hope you have a nice time at the party @Pandora71 It is difficult always feeling someone is missing.

@lunamoon1 That’s rubbish if it is AF (any chance it is implantation??) but on the plus means a new cycle and another chance. I’m coming to the end of AF now so thinking about fertile week.

I’m ok thanks, bit tired. Hope everyone else is ok xx

[lunamoon1]

@ReeRi no, for sure it is AF, but ready to face this new opportunity and hoping for the best! That's good, it's hard not to wish your life away during this journey isn't it.