TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

@Avocuddles I'm clinically obese according to my BMI, but it's meaningless because I've bern tested and this isn't fat, I've got the muscles, plus some fat which I'd like to get rid of. I'm also a size 12 and even at my skinniest I was a 10. I don't class that as obesity personally, but of course I'd like to lose a bit, and you're right, sadly fertility clinics do look at BMI. I would think you're absolutely fine though, I think the upper limit is BMI 30 xxx

Yes I think I might continue with not tracking depending on how this month goes. I’ll be interested to see whether I notice obvious signs of ov like CM. Sometimes I am more aware than other months.

I’m not overweight as such but heavier than I used to be and of course after a full term pregnancy my body is not the same. There is a slight injustice to having something of a mum bod but no child(!) but I don’t regret the limited time I had with my daughter.

I do need to eat less sugar. It’s my comfort blanket. I feel a bit shit. I’ll treat myself to something sugary! I’m going to make myself go to the gym after work tonight.

The show was quite good. I wouldn’t recommend it tbh but I suppose it depends what you like or expect. I quite fancy Kinky Boots and Id like to see Wicked if it comes to here again. I also like Derren Brown strangely and he’s doing another show next year... I like a comedy show too. It’s definitely good to have things in the diary to look forward to 📔

Sugar is my go to as well @ReeRi. I'm on a PCOS friendly (ish) diet at the moment and refined sugar is a big no no. I'm also cutting out dairy and white carbs but it's the sugar I find hardest.

The upper BMI limit at all the clinics I looked into is 30 @Avocuddles, so maybe that's what your clinic meant.

Hello, I'm currently going through a chemical miscarriage at 5 weeks.
Can anyone tell me if you normally class this as day 1 of your cycle again? I'm quite confused and dont know when to start trying again!
Thanks x

@ReeRi kinky boots is fantastic and very uplifting so definitely go see it if you get the chance. I have tickets for next year for Back to the Future (Manchester), Lion King (Bradford), Everybody's Talking About Jamie (Leeds), and then Sister Act in London starting Whoopi Goldberg, so lots to look forward to!

Re eating sugar, I've definitely used it as a comfort blanket in recent months and am in fact polishing off a cake as we speak.

I've definitely become more aware of CM - there are times in the month where I have a lot more of it, but it tends to be (apologies for TMI...) more smooth and runny than eggwhite like.

@Marmite83 @MrsMGE yes I believe the upper limit is 30. Unfortunately as I'm only just over five foot I don't need to put on too much weight to gain that much BMI wise, though I am pretty much at my heaviest ever at the moment so hopefully will stay within the limit. @Marmite83 have you found any good healthy snacks to replace the refined sugar?

@Murree hi and welcome to our super supportive group! I believe this would be counted as day 1 but i think a lot of people find their initial cycle longer after a miscarriage so you might ovulate a bit later than you would expect, especially if the bleeding from the miscarriage lasts a long time. Was this first pregnancy? I hope you are ok and have plenty of support around you x

@avocuddles thanks for the reply. Yes this was our 1st after TTC for 2.5 years, rather gutted but at least we now know we can get pregnant.
I have lots of support and have taken a few days off work to get my head around it and let the worst of the bleeding and cramps pass. Just trying to look forward and not dwell to much (if that's even possible).

@Murree so sorry for your loss, must be very hard after trying for 2.5 years. As @Avocuddles said, this is a lovely supportive group so I hope we're able to help you a little. My first cycle after both my mmcs has been about 6 weeks instead of 4. I was 10+6 and 8+3. I hope the cramps and bleeding ease off soon for you.

I'm always looking for good snacks @Avocuddles but hard to find anything sweet without refined sugar, other than fruit of course. You can buy sugar free things in supermarkets but I'm not sure sweeteners are much better as they bring their own set of issues. I buy things like peanut snack bars and mixed nuts with raisins. I'm also planning to make some homemade flapjack bars with a natural sweetener like agave syrup as it has a much lower GI than sugar, although in large quantities does again bring about it's own issues

I haven't participated in this thread before.

Age:39
TTC no 2 since November 18
No 1 took 2 years to conceive but this was my second cycle after surgery at the end of August for endometriosis
Miscarried on Tuesday at 5 weeks

I am very very sad and don't really have anyone to talk to. I just wanted to tell someone about my loss. I had a scan yesterday and the sonographer said my lining looked thin and that is probably why I miscarried. This has made me feel awful and like it's all my fault. Just another thing wrong with me that I have to 'fix' if I want to conceive :(

@Murree and @ChangeyMcChangeChange I'm so sorry for your losses. And welcome to the huddle.

It's so hard when you feel like there is no one to talk about it to, it's the loneliest feeling. Especially when the people you do talk to have made insensitive comments or just don't get the pain you're going through. Most miscarriages are not down to our fault, or anything we did wrong. Don't beat yourself up over it. Thinking of you both x

I'm so sorry for your loss @ChangeyMcChangeChange. If they think thin lining may be the issue it may be worth speaking to your fertility consultant (I'm assuming you have one since you had endo surgery recently, I had endo surgery too in Jan) about progesterone pessaries. I'm not sure if it's something you can get through the NHS but I'm doing IVF (self funded after trying endo surgery & Clomid with no success) and they prescribe progesterone supplements to help thicken the uterine lining prior to implantation through to official test day and then for another 8-10 weeks afterwards if it results in a bfp to lower the risk of mc. I hope you find some comfort from this thread, you are not alone in this. Sending hugs

@changeymcchangechange I'm sorry for your loss, I know how you are feeling.

It's really nice to have somewhere to talk about this, no one at home really understands and although he is supportive DH prefers to bottle things so it's hard to talk to him.

I didn't tell you all about me before.... I'm 34 and TTC number 1. We have been trying for two and a half years, this year had a lap and dye and cysts removed and 6 months of clomid. This was my first BFP but sadly started to bleed a few days ago at 5 weeks.

Today I ordered a little peg doll angel to commemorate my little bean, I think this has helped me to come to terms with what's happened.

@Murree so so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and your partner, sending virtual hugs, always remember you are not alone! Xx

@Marmite83 @Avocuddles It is so difficult. I have had today two hot chocolates, half a chocolate tart slice and a small bag of m&ms. That’s more than usual but I’m justifying it on the basis it’s Friday.

Sorry you find yourself here @Murree

I agree sweeteners are not great either

@Avocuddles You have lots booked! I’m tempted by Lion King and even Sister Act. There was another one that looked good but my friend has seen it. Can’t remember what it was but there are a few good ones on at the playhouse too.

@ChangeyMcChangeChange Sorry you find yourself here. I had a mc at around 5 weeks in August after a full term loss in Feb and I really think no one understands unless they’ve sadly experienced Pregnancy loss or baby loss themselves

Think we need a new thread soon...

Thanks you everyone and I am so sorry to hear about your loss @Murree.

@Marmite83 yes I have been in touch with my (private) surgeon and he's asked me to come in on day 14 of my next cycle and he'll take a look at the lining. I went with him as the endo surgery was because I needed an endometrioma removed anyway (although the NHS didn't agree...) but he specialises in fertility as well so I trusted him to retain as much of my ovary as possible.

We will try again this cycle because I really don't want to wait another cycle (I've already missed a few this year due to surgery etc) but on the assumption I don't get pregnant it's not too long to wait for him to take a look.

@changeymcchangechange thank you.
We are seeing my consultant next month for the 6 month check up after surgery to remove an endometroma (how coincidental! ) I hope he can give me some answers too.... it's great that yours is going to check your lining, hopfully they can advise on how to thicken it.
Have you had much pain with your miscarriage? I'm finding paracetamol isn't helping much

@Murree I did take some ibuprofen yesterday when the pain was quite bad but other than that I have been grinning an bearing it as it has been too painful, more if a dull ache (although stronger at times) I've had what feel like quite sharp twinges in my ovaries that's probably been the most painful. It's not bad enough this has to happen but we have to suffer as well :(

I decided not to go to my Gym class tonight on the basis I am due to ovulate and couldn’t really be bothered...

Will do yoga tomorrow though!

Hope you all have a good weekend

This thread moves too fast I cannot keep up 😊

I'm so sorry for your losses to the new ladies who've joined @Murree @ChangeyMcChangeChange. I hope you find some help and comfort on this lovely thread we've got here.

Regarding healthy snacks @ReeRi @Avocuddles I quite like peanut butter and slices of apple or pear (nice filling combo), I also like a bit of avocado on rye bread with chilli flakes and a bit of salt to season. If you're into seaweed then seaweed thins are a good option but be aware of the salt intake with those. Otherwise I do also often eat boiled eggs and spinach or smoked salmon as a snack. After all it needs to fill a hole, right?

I find any snacks you shop buy can have hidden sweeteners and sugars etc plus palm oil and other unhealthy options. Full fat Greek yoghurt with some good quality honey is a nice treat as well.

I'm just at the airport now waiting to get on my flight to Munich to see our friends and their little one, who is turning one. He's just the most adorable little boy and I'm looking forward to cuddles.

AF (sorry TMI) has been very strange - first one since the second MC, had 1.5 days of what felt like heavy bleeding and now not much except when I go for a wee. anyway, I'm sure it'll return to normality in another cycle or so!

The clinic for my appointment on the 22/11 sent through a bunch of documents to read and sign and the price list is just eye-watering 🙄 wow wow! New sofa or blood tests, hmmm!!!!

I'll check in over the weekend!

Thinking of you! X

@LASandOtto my 1st AF after the 2nd miscarriage was like that, but after a day of nothing I had the exact same again, and it ended up being stop-start for six or seven days.
Sorry to hear about the eye watering prices for your tests! I feel grateful that I've had most do them on the NHS but then again the only reason I've had the majority is because I had a blood clot, unrelated (at the time) to miscarrying. I have sneaked a look at the private fertility costs locally (always worth planning ahead) and they were certainly hair raising.

@ReeRi get some sexercise in instead! 😂
Your snacks are pretty good going compared to my day - my team went out for lunch and I went for a bowl of Pho (healthy!) but it went rapidly downhill with a fondant fancy and a snowman shaped shortbread once we got back to the office. Yesterday they were giving away free Ferraro Rocher and Lindor at the office - its a miracle I'm not 50 stone really.....

@Murree @ChangeyMcChangeChange I found a hot water bottle really helpful throughout both of my miscarriages. I didn't get rid of the pain exactly, but it definitely eased it in conjunction with painkillers. I hope the physical pain doesn't last too long for you.

@ReeRi Good for you, one has to take a break sometimes! I was on the wine yesterday, one of my colleagues was leaving and we went out. I enjoyed some red and it went straight into my head 😂 This is what happens when you barely drink!

@Avocuddles You made me laugh with "sexercise"! Brilliant! How have I not heard this before! 😂

@LASandOtto My first AF was weird as well, not as heavy as before the MMC initially, then it randomly got heavier and longer. In fact the first 3 AFs after the MMC were different to normal in hindsight. I think our bodies need to adjust.

Have a lovely long weekend in Germany and have a fab sunny week @Avocuddles!

PS - loving the discussion re musicals. I saw most of those that you've recommended too! My personal favourite is "Once". I also loved "Hamilton" and of course "The Lion King". "Mamma Mia" was great too, I have so much love for ABBA! @ReeRi "Wicked" is very good, a thoroughly enjoyable evening. Currently on my list is "The Book of Mormon" which I've heard is beautifully offensive/dark sense of humour, up my street. Has anyone seen it? Also "Kinky Boots" and "Jersey Boys" xxx

@MrsMGE I've recently booked to see The Book of Mormon for the second time - it's brilliant! I've also booked to take my Mum to 'Mamma Mia The Party' at the o2 over Christmas. Its basically a dinner show where they act and sing around you as you eat a delicious Greek meal - it was pretty expensive but thought it would be a lovely present for her special birthday.

We are now at the airport, all checked in and enjoying a Christmas coffee before our holidays! Still no sign of AF but imagine she'll turn up in the next day or two based on when I think I ovulated (think I'm probably about 12-13DPO now). Did a sneaky pregnancy test this morning (in spite of having actively avoided TTC this month so it would basically be an immaculate conception) just to allow myself to 100% relax whilst I indulge in all the wine and cured meats.

Unlike after my first miscarriage I'm actually looking forward to trying again this time. To anyone who is going through a loss at the moment I would highly recommend allowing yourself a couple of months 'off' from TTC, my mental health is so much stronger as a result and spending time together doing fun things has definitely helped our relationship. After my first miscarriage I was so desperate to conceive again that it was overwhelming me night and day. I know everyone's situation is different but for me taking a pause this time round has been the right thing to do, it's now over two months since the miscarriage and I feel so much better in myself than I have at any point in the past year when thoughts of infertility and pregnancy loss were always at the forefront of my mind. I'm sure there will be plenty of low / stressful times ahead but for now I'm feeling grateful for the life I do have.

@LASandOtto What I find difficult with snacking is when I’m at work as I’ll just hsve what is there. If I have nothing I’ll go to the vending machine and that has chocolate and crisps in it. I’m going to try harder next week. I’ve bought some fruit and nuts and things which is a bit better. Mamma Mia is the one I was thinking of. My friend has seen it otherwise I’d have gone for that.

@MrsMGE Well yes we are doing that too as I’m CD14...

@Avocuddles The Mamma Mia thing at the O2 sounds amazing. What a great gift for your Mum. I hope you have a fab holiday

Sorry for TMI but I had some spotting when wiping earlier. I am on CD14 and usually ovulate about now and I don’t usually get any spotting or anything now. We did DTD this morning so don’t know if it’s related to that but again haven’t had that before.Has anyone else had this?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3745594-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-Thread-33-huddle-up-and-bring-on-the-BFPs

I have set up a new thread as we're getting near 40 pages. Hope the link works.
Tag as many members of this thread as you can to the new one.
@Avocuddles
@Marmite83
@TwinkleStars15
@MrsMGE
@Russkispy
@JuniperAndRose
@Mistymeow

Hi all
Im new to mumsnet
I have had 1 normal pregnancy in 2015 and gave birth to my daughter who is 4 now. Then i have had 5 miscarriages since. 3 MMC at 10-12weeks 2 early spontaneous at 7 weeks.

All routine test have been normal. I have had two lots of miscarriage tissue sent for analysis. The first was normal twins. So prescribed progesterone to try and help. Then had another missed miscarriage but this time was told there was chromosome issues.

We were going to just try again with the progesterone but someone told us about a trial involving testing for chronic endometriosis and if positive taking doxycycline for a two week course. I have now tested positive for chronic endometriosis.

Has anyone had this and taken doxycycline? Did it help/work?

Thanks