TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

Ooh I'm not watching. I have bad OCD and anxiety and use preseed so it will only stress me!

@Mumlili8 what does it say re preseed? I've never used it before but bought some recently for when the right time comes as figured it wouldn't do any harm.... (ps know I could just watch but don't have 25 mins now!)

@Avocuddles they did a live sample test with various bedroom aids and pre-seed was on and on that test it killed all the swimmers on camera. But said that coconut oil was excellent to use. Although they didn't warm the pre-seed up so that might have effected the sample

Ahh. I've used it every time I've got pregnant so it definitely cant have killed everything for us.

@Treaclepie19 I can't be sure I've used it and got pregnant and I've not used it and got pregnant lol. Might give the coconut a go though if nothing else my jj will be nice a soft lol 😂 😂

😂 they do say coconut oil is good for everything.

Urgh ffs... I'm sorry I had bloody started writing out replies to everyone and then I fricking refreshed my browser by accident 🤦‍♀️

Really hate posting this before having acknowledged you all, especially as I've been MIA over the weekend (crap at coming on here when all I'm getting is BFN).

But here is a B(Faint)P... the say AF is due

@TwittleBee oh what lovely news! Sending quiet congratulations ❤

@TwittleBee that's fantastic news, I have everything crossed that this is your rainbow. 💕

@TwittleBee Lovely news.... Fingers crossed for you ( I would put a heart, but no Idea how to)

I have had 3 days of flashing smileys now.... fingers crossed for my static soon xxx

@TwittleBee congratulations hun x

AF got me today 😢 on to next cycle. And pray I don't ovulate so early this time. And I hope my progesterone improves too. Its very painful but so very light did a cheap test just to check it's not implantation but no bfn.

@ceebee21 hope it arrives soon!

I'm now 7dpo. Taking forever 😴

@Avocuddles thank you! I do hope you are feeling OK, I am in awe of how supportive you are being, I do hope you are allowing yourself to feel what you feel and have support too? You are in very early days of this and it'll be a rollercoaster but we're here for you! And one day baby will come.. Doc will refer me to fertility clinic after I get an MMR as I've only got one jab documented, which means holding off for a month but will be worth it to see what's what! The doc was trying to fob me off saying I had to wait a year, I was like er.. no it's 6 month, I'm 38! It wasn't deliberate, once she saw the referral criteria she was super helpful, but it just goes to show you need to be armed with knowledge of what help is out there. Had a hellish weekend when AF came, couldn't stop crying, fell out with DH, god it was awful! Starting to feel better today but its so exhausting this emotional assault on my senses.. lots of love to all x

Thanks @dogmama!

Just got back from my initial appointment at the fertility clinic. As I've managed to fall pregnant naturally twice it's unlikely that IVF is the right option at the moment, but I'm in the system now and hopefully will get some medical support to at least give me more regular cycles. I've had the majority of tests already but have been referred for a HyCoSy - the wait is apparently up to 8 weeks so it's pretty frustrating that we need to hold off TTC until then, but on the plus side I won't be pregnant for our holiday next month which would have made that considerably more stressful! We found out that DH's sperm is 'fantastic' which I guess is one less thing to worry about, and that all my tests so far have been 'normal'. I just hope the HyCoSy wait isn't too long......

Hi everyone

Glad your appointment went well today @Avocuddles. Seems you and I are following a similar path, waiting for the procedure so can't ttc. It's helping take the pressure off the here and now, but I feel like I'm just waiting until its all out of the way. Hope you get in earlier than me (December)

@Twittlebee congratulations 😊 how are you feeling?

@ReeRi hope you're OK, seems like you gave a lot going on at the moment, be kind to yourself xx

@MrsMGE I'm really sorry to hear about your ptsd ❤️ have you been offered any support? I think you'd require specialist psychotherapy rather than counselling.
I was reading a report from the miscarriage association today 'out of sight, out of mind' looking into psychological support or lack of for pregnancy loss. I can't link as it's a pdf but it's a sad read and one I can relate to. If you're on their Instagram it's on their page, I'm not on Facebook but I'd imagine it's there too.

I've managed to bring our rmc appointment to next week! Something was telling me to call again (already had called first thing) and we're in next Wednesday. I know in reality we aren't going to get answers, but just being able to be seen and hopefully listened to gives me hope.

I will catch up properly with you all a bit later, sorry I'm a bit rubbish at the moment, concentration is shot xx

Hi @VenusStarr yes it seems like we are on very similar journeys. The next 6 weeks hold my birthday, my mum's 60th birthday and an all inclusive trip to celebrate that so I guess a small part of me is relieved that I'm not going to have to deal with a 2WW / potential disappointment / potential early pregnancy whilst all that is going on, but another part of me is just desperate to get going! Still no sign of ovulation or AF five weeks post miscarriage so I imagine that even if we hadn't been taking precautions it's highly unlikely that anything would or could have happened at the moment. I'll let you know when I get my appointment through, I'm a bit apprehensive about it after reading some not particularly positive experiences on here but have also read that some believe that you are extra fertile after the procedure so guess we'll just have to wait and see!

Hi @Venusstarr, I read that report too. Very disappointing reality. And no, with regards to PTSD, psychotherapy is not required. CBT is one of the most recommended approaches, particularly a specialist post-trauma CBT. Xxx

Is the hycosy the tube dye test @Avocuddles? I had the hsg and did concieve 2 cycles later. I hope you get news soon. Please make sure you have painkillers before hand and I used a heat wrap after. The procedure was the worst bit and only lasted a short while. Hope yours isn't bad.
Sorry it seems your cycles are taking a while to settle. Did you test to see a negative?
I'm glad you have some nice things coming up to look forward to, definitely helps having things in the diary :)

Dh has managed to swap his shift for next Wednesday, just having a look online to see what we can expect at the first appointment. We've got a big questionnaire to complete on our history. I'm guessing blood tests are standard, but I don't know much else. @Mumlili8, did you recently see a recurrent miscarriage clinic? Do you mind sharing what happened in the first appointment? X

Cross posted then @MrsMGE, are you waiting for an appointment for cbt? Hope you do get the support you need xx

@Venusstarr Yes, one of the specialist local organisations has me in their waiting list (3 months) and I'm also waiting for my appointment with a MH nurse next week. Not sure if I am going to be able to access anything sooner. I am better now anyway, but would still like someone to give me some good tips for the future so I can manage things when the next trigger arrives. I also spoke to Mind who might be able to arrange something as well. We'll see, I'll try things and see what is actually helpful. It's such a unique set of circumstances that sometimes things may just improve in time, or with another pregnancy (unless it's also triggering), so it's hard to tell where I'm going to be next week, next month or in 3 months time. I'm fine 95% of the time, it would be good to get to a 100% with the help of someone clever. Xxx

That sounds really sensible @MrsMGE, good to have a toolkit of strategies. I'm really pleased there is specialist support out there for you. Hopefully the MH nurse can offer some interim support too :) xxx

@MrsMGE I'm a big advocate for CBT. I hope it works for you and that you don't have to wait too long.

@VenusStarr yes it's the tube dye one I believe. I also enquired about the RMC and she explained that as a result of my clotting history and fertility issues I've have already had pretty much every test they do there - this makes me feel a little better about not being able to access it after two losses, but also somewhat disheartened as none of the tests have found any 'answers' yet! The only significant additional thing from my perspective would be to review for chromosomal abnormalities if we experience another loss. The key tests offered by our local RMC are for all the various clotting disorders (which I'm already under treatment for) along with thyroid function, vitamin d and infections, all of which have come back normal for me so far. Be prepared to have a LOT of blood taken - I hope you don't mind needles!

Arrrrggh just opened the post to be greeted by my maternity exemption certificate for the pregnancy I lost five weeks ago! The fact I laughed out loud rather than burst into tears is proof that I've definitely come a long way over the past few months.....but it's still the last thing I wanted to see. One day all these systems will finally join up!

Thank you @Avocuddles, I'm glad you've already had some testing done and ruled out some things (although it's a double edged sword if they are OK as there's no answers). One thing in the rmc leaflet from the miscarriage association is about unbalanced translocation but you need genetic testing for that. I'm trying not to pin my hopes on this but it's difficult. I'm just pleased that we can be seen sooner. My veins are thin, so no doubt I'll be battered and bruised!

@Mumlili8 I'm sorry, I missed that af had arrived today ❤️ hope you're OK xx

Thank you @Avocuddles and @Venusstarr. The system is far from perfect, but I'd like to think that after the research I've done, out of all these options at least there will be one appointment that I'll have that will help going forward. I haven't got anything to lose, so I'll give it a go.

If you both don't mind me asking, I saw your discussion about testing etc. Is this something you are doing privately or through the NHS? I understand you need 3 consecutive losses to be tested by the NHS, but is it possible to be tested earlier than that at all? Sorry if it's a very silly question, I am only partially familiar with your background stories xxx