TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

Thank you ladies ❤
I had a little cry on the walk home from dropping DS1 off earlier. Thinking about DS2s funeral. It's crazy how even 9 months on I can just break down randomly. It catches me by surprise.

@Treaclepie19 and @ReeRi I really don't know how you ladies deal with your losses. My oldest baby at 12 weeks nearly broke me. It's been 12 months since she (just a feeling) passed and I still crumble every time I think of her, even now typing this I have tears. You both and other ladies that have had later mc, still birth and infant death are superheros. I'm not sure how your doing it but I think you are the strongest women I know xx

@Treaclepie19 ❤️❤️

I'm sorry you're upset today @Mumlili8.

I'm feeling deflated, our rmc appointment isn't until January, no letter yet but managed to get hold of the secretary today. Just about to go for my pre op for my hysteroscopy. I was hoping we could start ttc again after this. Just feel like nothing is happening. Sorry to moan 😔

Hi all,

I had a TFMR at 13 weeks back in July.
Prior I had normal 32 day cycles ovulating around CD 19/20. I got my period back a month after the TFMR - now I’m on cycle day 46 going slightly mad. CM and ovulation test indicated I may have ovd normal time but no sign of AF. NOT pregnant, have done a number of tests.
I’ve done ovulation tests also the last 6 days and they are showing the test line as stronger than the control line?! I’m very confused. Dr told me to ‘just give it a few months’... 😫

Had anyone else had a longer gap before second period? Help!

And - I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to come in and blast y’all with my problems without acknowledging everyone that has had varying types of loss, I’m so sorry that you all find yourselves here

@Mumlili8 I don’t think I’m stronger than anyone else. I feel like we just got the short straw this time and have to deal with it. Sorry you’re feeling down.

Think I’m spotting so assuming that is AF. At least the PMT is on its way out!

Oh that’s so frustrating @VenusStarr

Hi @Conorgog I’m sorry you find yourself here but it’s a very supportive group. I think it’s not unusual to have irregular cycles after giving birth or a loss. My cycles are still not regular (nearly 8 months since full term loss and about 2 months since early MC) but mine have been 26-34 days ish and now averaging about 29-30 days.

@Mumlili8 I used to think the same but the reality is you just have to get on with it and try to rebuild. It's hard. Thanks lovely.

@VenusStarr gosh that's a long wait for you :( I'm not surprised you're feeling frustrated ❤

@Conorgog my cycles have been a bit all over the shop too. The doctor just said it's to be expected.
I'm 9 months on and they're a little more regular now. Longer than they used to be though but I had really short cycles before.

Welcome @Conorgog I'm sorry you find yourself here and for your loss its a lovely, supportive group :) I'm still waiting for af after this mc. After my first one they pretty much returned to my usyal cycle length but heavier. I know it can throw your body off for a while though, fingers crossed you aren't waiting too long.

Thank you @Treaclepie19 and @ReeRi, hope you're both OK today.

Had a chat with dh tonight and agreed that once I've recovered from the hysteroscopy we will 'casually' (dh's choice of words) ttc. I'm petrified of being pregnant again but can't face not giving us a chance. I told the hospital I'm free whenever they can fit me in and can do short notice 🤞

@VenusStarr fingers crossed they can see you earlier. I totally understand how you feel with regards to the fear of being pregnant and the stress of not ttc. It is awful how after multiple losses we fear pregnancy. I've stopped seeing BFP's as anything more than a line on a test now, it doesn't mean a baby anymore. I'm sure you feel the same in that if someone could guarantee you a baby at the end of it you would jump through fire and walk through hell. Sending you healthy vibes and bucket fulls of baby dust x

Hi all and welcome @Conorgog, sorry you've found yourself here but as others have said it's a very welcoming and supportive community.

@VenusStarr do you know what investigations the RMC will be carrying out? I saw my GP yesterday who confirmed as I suspected that I wouldn't be eligible for any investigations yet after 2 MCs, however based on my difficult journey so far and pre existing medical conditions she's going to see if there is anything she can do. I have a fertility clinic appointment in the diary on the 14th but was scared they'll turn us away now that I have conceived twice, so she has written directly to the consultant explaining the situation and seeing if there's is anything they can do. The RMC is in the same building as the fertility clinic though under a different consultant.

I'm feeling gutted as the GP in question told me that she retiring next month. She has been hugely supportive both when I was failing to conceive and after both losses. When I walked in the room yesterday she greeted me by saying 'I'm sorry, this is really shit isn't it' which was exactly what I needed to hear! The others at my practice are nice but not quite the same....

It is horrible how random that grief outburst can feel isnt it @Treaclepie19 - sending you love x

You are certainly entitled to "moan" about that @VenusStarr ! January feels like ages away and without even a letter with a set date, I can imagine that frustration.

@Conorgog welcome! Sorry you find yourself here! Sounds like your body is trying hard to ovulate - keep DTD if you can regularly until you know either way I guess! FX

Had a meeting with a obstetrician and Roy's pediatrician and head of MWs yesterday afternoon... all my questions where answered but of course I now have more questions. Trying hard to wrap my head around it all. They basically said there is a chance it could happen again as it appears that is just how my body does labour - bleeds and breaks waters before deciding to start contracting which increases risk of infection but also now I have had to pre-term labours it is likely to occur again...

I am gutted for you @Avocuddles ! It is so nice when it feels like a medical professional just gets it! Seems like a rarity!

Hi @Avocuddles, I haven't heard anything about the tests the rmc do. I'm guessing it would be blood tests. My fertility consultant referred us to the rmc. Like you say, technically not eligible but I think because mine have been exactly the same and we've never seen a heartbeat that it's something he wanted further investigation for. That said, he told us to keep ttc. All I know is the rmc has accepted our referral. Ours is a Tommy's site so wondering if that's why the wait is so long. I'm sorry your GP is retiring, she sounds like a good one.
Don't be worried about the fertility appointment, I was concerned about ours in May but the consultant acknowledged the mc but he kept us on, I hope that's the same for you.

Thank you @Twittlebee, that sounds like a lot of information to take on board. I would hope that you would have additional care and support.

Thank you @Mumlili8 💜 I said similar to dh. Are you still tracking this cycle, any sign of ovulation? I really hope we do get our babies (all of us on here) xx

Welcome @Conorgog - as others have said sorry you're here but welcome! I also had a tmfr at 13 weeks in July. I've had 2 periods since so feel pretty lucky that cycles have gone back to normal but I'm still worried they're not quite right. Did you have any follow up scans after the tmfr? I didn't and keep worrying there's something wrong.

Currently in the TWW and had some pink v light spotting, timing is right for implantation bleeding but I think it may be the start of AF and a v short cycle. Who knows, I'm not excited and symptom spotting, totally agree with you @Mumlili8 that a positive test just means more to worry about.

@Avocuddles sorry about your gp, it's so hard to find one like that, hopefully she's got you on the right path for treatment and it won't make a difference when she goes.

@TwittleBee sorry your meeting bouhhtbuo more questions and worries

Thanks all, I went to the doctor convinced I must have menopause this morning but am actually pregnant, which is absolutely wild considering I have done 5 pregnancy tests (clear blue digital ones and normal strip ones) over the last week and a half and all have been negative. No ‘symptoms’!
Wondering how they will treat my dates as I have only had one period between my tfmr and now - being referred to EPU.

Sorry if my news makes anyone upset, i didn’t want to not reply.

@VenusStarr yes I'm still tracking and it seems I've had a temp rise on CD 12 so possible ovulation on cd 11 so if that is the case I'm still out dur to the timing of bding. Its odd though because all opks were negative after cd9 so it took 3 days from the last positive to possible ovulation.

@Conorgog gosh! What a shock for you. How are you feeling?

What bbt thermometer is everyone using? Mine broke 🙄

Yeah CD11 looks like possible ovulation there @Mumlili8 - just need another raised temp to confirm. Makes sense with OPKs too, they show a positive between 1 to 3 days prior ovulation. Might be a chance still? You DTD 2 days prior potential ovulation?

My temps are a bit whacky this month so another case of waiting and seeing. Not had any positive OPKs yet either

Thank you so much @Treaclepie19 We are very excited but it’s obviously such a fraught time given everything we have been through in the last year. I was very much in shock and still have slight disbelief. Thanks again for your message.

I’ve never used BBT before, they say you have to sleep 4 hours in a row and I have a 3 year old that doesn’t like to sleep 😫 I’ve just gone off CM before.

@Conorgog sending congratulations and keeping everything crossed for an easy pregnancy for you

Yeah we have a 4 year old and he does disturb our sleep so it probably wouldn't work! I'm using clear blue opks anyway so will see what they say :)

I agree with you @Mumlili8 it does look like you've ovulated and dtd just in time 🤞has today confirmed it?

Congratulations @Conorgog wishing you the best

Fingers crossed that you ovulate soon @Twittlebee

How are you @ReeRi?

Af has arrived, so 27 days between my mc and period which is exactly the same as last time. Been up a lot in the night as its quite painful.

Congratulations @Conorgog glad you have an answer about the cycles and good news too! 🤞🏻for you. How are you feeling about everything?

Well with this mornings temp spike and last night's very last minute +OPK before bed (followed by some quick DTD!) I think I must have ovulated now! Little later than last few cycles but closer to what my ovulation used to be prior pregnancy! Feeling pretty positive.

Wishing you all the best @Conorgog ! FX

Urgh oh @VenusStarr so sorry AF is being so harsh on you! Is it usually that painful?

Excellent @Twittlebee and lots of dtd leading up, I'm impressed! 😊

Since my first mc they my periods have been more painful, luckily only on the first day or so and I only bleed for around 3 days. They're much heavier than pre-mc though.

How are you doing @MrsMGE?

Hi ladies, sorry I've had a manic week! Off today for my birthday this weekend. I am feeling better about TTC (I was really down it didn't work out last month), I wouldn't say I'm keen on doing it all again, but I'm not that upset anymore. Mostly because it was so busy that I didn't have time to dwell on things too much, that's a positive. How are you, @Venusstarr?

How is everyone else doing? Wishing you all a nice weekend ❤️ xxx