TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

@Conorgog congratulations, very pleased for you.

I'm so confused at the minute. I read somewhere that you count the first day of your cycle after a mc as the day you started bleeding. Which I thought was ok as I was quite early Pg when I lost it. It fitted with my signs (I only go by cm which fitted ovulation when I expected it). Lots of DTD for the past few weeks which we stopped on Monday as we both ended up with thrush (probably from too much sex 🤣). Then I read you count cd1 for m your first negative Pg test. Which was a week after I started bleeding, which if that was my cd1 I would if ovulated this week where we would have then missed the window. It's 6 days before my AF is due (if I count my cd1 as when I started bleeding) and I took a first response this morning and I'm sure I saw a second line but then it disappeared. I know it's super early to be taking tests, my other half is probably going to put an Amazon ban on me. And I'm not sure if I'm that desperate to see a line I'm seeing things. But also co fused from the mixed information

@Sunflower1608 So your miscarriage was finished, you didn't have a BFN, and then you had AF, you think? Or am I getting the wrong end of the stick here, sorry, my brain is tired this week 🤦🏼‍♀️

If that's the case then perhaps it wasn't AF yet but you still had some retained products? Hard to tell. You may have ovulated since though, so you may want to take tests every few days. If nothing happens don't worry just yet, just dtd regularly now that you've had the BFN and the bleeding has stopped. The first few weeks after the MC can be very confusing, but who knows, maybe you have caught again already. Take another test tomorrow morning, I'd say, a FRER and a different sensitive one perhaps if you're really keen to check quickly.

Also ladies re unexpected waves of grief, I've had them too. I cry in the shower most often. But alas my bathroom is being refurbished now, and bath in the family bathroom isn't that good for tears, so I found myself shedding a few occasionally in all sorts of random places. It's weird how it sometimes just gets you when you least expect it. It's my birthday this weekend and I'm devastated I'm not pregnant yet, and just not in the mood for celebrations at all. Got 3 friends due around my due date as well and they're all looking so happy and glowing, I'm so happy for them, but it kills me I'm nowhere near where they are. Xxx

Thanks everyone.

@Seahawk80 I’m ok, feel a bit bewildered as I just didn’t think i was - had very strong symptoms with my first two pregnancy’s so to not have anything is a bit weird, I wonder if it is because my body is still recovering from previous one.

@Sunflower1608
I think you take the first day of heavy bleeding (as in your first period after a loss) as the first day of your new cycle - def not from negative test as that’s only the hormone reduction. (If that makes sense).

@MrsMGE

Happy birthday for this weekend, hope it’s lovely & you have a big glass of bubbles! Lots can happen in a year xx

Happy birthday @MrsMGE!! 🎉 Hope you have a lovely weekend :)

@Sunflower1608 with both my miscarriages I have counted from the day I started bleeding. Mc1 I passed the pregnancy that day, mc2 I passed the next day, my period has come back on cd28 both times. I wasn't properly tracking but know from my cervical mucus when I'm due to ovulate and was a couple of weeks ago.
I think if your cycles were generally regular before mc you can usually expect your period to regulate back to with your usual range 🤞

I'm so relieved, got my recurrent miscarriage letter. As its a Tommy's site theres a couple of patient information leaflets about some miscarriage research they're doing, lots to read. I immediately called to see if they had a cancellation and she said I was the second person to call today and unfortunately not but she said call every few days to check. I suspect I shall be getting on a first name basis with the booking team 😂 frustratingly the appt is 3 days after our fertility follow up. But having a date helps.

Keeping my eye on the letter box for my operation letter now 👀

@VenusStarr I think it's a definite ovulation but FF is not recognising it so I think I'm 3 dpo today

Hi all.

@Conorgog congratulations! I hope that everything works out for you this time round, it's brilliant that it's happened so quickly.

@VenusStarr sorry that you're having a painful AF, it's great that it's come back so fast though. It took me 50 days last time and I suspect this one may be the same. It's now 26 days since my MC started, we're not 'trying' until after my first period this time but I have been ovulation testing just to understand what is happening with my body and the lines don't seem to be getting any darker yet  Are you going to start trying again after your op? Let us know if the leaflets you've been sent have anything interesting in them. Your situation (and age) are so similar to mine that I'm intrigued to know what might be advised / anything more that I can try....

@TwittleBee that's definitely an encouraging chart! Fingers are crossed for a positive result in a couple of weeks!!!!

@MrsMGE glad you've been feeling more positive though rest assured that the waves of grief are perfectly normal. Hope that you manage have a nice birthday weekend.

@Sunflower1608 I believe you should officially count from the day heavy bleeding started (or you had surgery if that's the case), however if the bleeding lasts significantly longer than a normal period (which will probably mean a longer wait for negative test) I would expect the cycle to be a bit longer than normal. As I said above it took 50 days after my first miscarriage although cycles have unfortunately been all over the place in the 18 mths we've been TTC so it's pretty much impossible to guess when the right time would be without opks! If at all possible I'd try to wait a couple more days before you test again - a lucky few have a 'normal' cycle immediately after mc but plenty of people find their cycles are erratic for a number of months so try not to drive yourself mad trying to second guess your cycle, but keep those fingers crossed and hopefully that second line might appear for you soon! x

@Conorgog congratulations

@Avocuddles may I ask what made you decide not to actively ‘try’ until after your period? It is for dating reasons? I’m glad @Sunflower1608 asked about cycle days as I’ve been wondering the same myself - my miscarriage started last Friday and the bleeding stopped on Tuesday so I’m counting today as CD7, would you say that is right? I think we are going to give it a go this month, if I can figure out when ovulation will be!

@VenusStarr I’m pleased you’ve got your appointment through. I hope you find it helpful. Do you have to wait long? It makes me hopeful to hear that your periods went straight back to normal each time. I usually have a 28 day cycle so I’m hoping it will be the same this month. My first miscarriage was a mmc and I had surgery and it’s all a blur so I can’t remember what happened after that one.

@Mumlili8 am I right in thinking that to BBT you need a solid chunk of sleep? I don’t get that! My toddler still wakes multiple times a night... could i still use this method

I’m a week after my second miscarriage and had a bit of a sad moment earlier as my 6 week scan appointment was for today. Also, before I knew I would get an NHS scan I booked an early reassurance scan, and I can’t bring myself to phone them to cancel it, I guess they’ll assume why and I’m worried it’ll be awkward

@TwinkleStars15 that's right and the same time each day if you can. You might get better results if you temp vaginally instead

Hi @TwinkleStars15. There are a couple of reasons, one is that I'm still having some blood tinged mucus almost four weeks on and I feel as if it would be healthier for my body to be properly 'flushed out' before thinking about trying to grow a baby in there. Another reason is that we have a family trip to celebrate my mums 60th next month and I don't want to risk ruining that by being at the 'danger' stage then. The final reason is for my own mental health. I've spent around 18 months trying to conceive so far and think a month of being able to do what I want without any sense of guilt or fear is probably well overdue. We went out for tea and drinks to celebrate a close friend's birthday tonight and I didn't feel any guilt in enjoying the red wine and charcuterie. I know the stress of TTC again is just around the corner and at the moment there's no indication that I'm going to ovulate soon, but for now I feel as ok as I possibly could do in these awful circumstances xx

Ps daring reasons don't really apply to me as my cycles have historically been very kong and irregular, so I would date based on opks rather than lmp.

Ps daring reasons don't really apply to me as my cycles have historically been very long and irregular, so I would date based on opks rather than lmp.

@TwinkleStars15 I'm the same with a toddler who wakes a lot / gets up at different times so no chance of temping accurately. I'm always so impressed with the graphs!

I'm currently resisting testing and staying away from chemists so I'm not tempted by FRERs!!

@Mumlili8 thanks, silly question but how do you temp vaginally?!

@Avocuddles thank you for sharing that I’m in two minds about trying this cycle, although to be honest it’s quite stressful and I’ve no idea what’s will happen with my cycle after the miscarriage. I’ve been doing opk strips but I’m really bad at evaluating them! I’m not sure if I’ll work out when it’s a positive! Sorry to hear that you are still bleeding, is it easing off though?

@Seahawk80 I don’t usually get more than 1.5 hours sleep before I’m woken up so temping would not work for me! Where are you in your cycle?

Happy birthday @MrsMGE, glad you're feeling more positive. I didn't want to celebrate my birthday this year either so I get where you're coming from but I hope you have a lovely day anyway.

Congratulations @Conorgog

@TwinkleStars15, I've had to cancel a few scans/appointments due to miscarriage and although it's not a nice thing to be doing I've always found the person on the other end if the phone to be lovely.

I'm not sure when to count from @Sunflower1608, I'm hoping to use opks to predict when AF is due.

I'm not sure what's going on with my body at the moment. My erpc was on 16 Sept I only got a negative on hpt on Thurs just gone. OPKs are no where near positive so I'm assuming it'll be a longer cycle than normal for me. Think af arrived 5-6 weeks after my last mmc. I've been getting some pain around where my uterus is so gp has given me antibiotics just in case it's an infection. Didn't really want them but I don't want to run the risk of anything getting worse so I started taking them today. Dh and I have been dtd since the bleeding stopped but haven't for a few days because of the pain (and I have thrush which will no doubt get worse from the antibiotics). Have my nurse consultation for my FET on Wed.

Evening!

@TwinkleStars15 I'm not really bleeding, just having streaks / pink tinted discharge. I'm not tempting at the moment as didn't really have much success with it before. I did it vaginally as i tend to sleep with my mouth open which apparently makes oral readings less reliable. You simply slide the probe inside you and leave for the same amount of time as you would at the 'other end' - my thermometer would beep once it had a stable reading. I'm not sure if I'll try it again - the last time I fell pregnant my temps didn't really indicate anything. Interestingly what I do find quite insightful is looking at my heart rate patterns from my Fitbit which tend to mirror the patterns you'd expect to see from temps, and rise rapidly after a BFP.....
I use the 'premom' app to evaluate ppl strips, you just photograph the strips and it evaluates then for you which I find helpful, plus it's free which is always a bonus!

@Marmite83 sorry your body is all over the place at the moment, think it's perfectly normal after a MC for things to be out of sync. It's good that you have your nurse appointment this week though. Hope the thrush clears up ASAP!

Met one of my best friends' newborn daughter this morning, she's just a week old and gorgeous. Tomorrow we're off to meet the week old son of another of my best friends, i was absolutely fine when I was with them but unsurprisingly felt quite sad afterwards. It's so hard not knowing if we will ever have a child, or whether further miscarriages lie ahead. I guess only time will tell....

Ppl strips = opk strips - damn autocorrect!

@TwinkleStars15 wow 1.5 hours is hard! How old is your toddler? DS is 2 and 3 months has recently got better at sleeping but is still a fan of a night wake and also a 5am start 😩

Had a bit of a crap moment today, went to my nieces birthday party and saw my sisters sister in law. I've mentioned on here before that she's pregnant and due about a month after my due date. She lives near me and our kids are at the same nursery so I see her a fair bit although we're not friends as such. I was really ok with her being pregnant but then today she said that she's having another girl and she's really disappointed about it. I really had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying, probably not as disappointing as having a tmfr. To be fair she doesn't know about it but what a stupid, thoughtless, ungrateful thing to say. If we hadn't of been at a family party with all the kids / grandparents etc around (and her parents have always been very good to me) I would have let rip and told her that.

@Avocuddles sorry you've been left feeling sad. I remember having moments like that. I've never told anyone in real life this but I'll always remember one of my lowest moments was just over 3 years ago. We'd been TTC for 7 months and I'd seen my (younger) sisters that day with 3 gorgeous kids between them and my youngest sister was pregnant again. I was so sad and DH must have been out / away with work. I watched dumbo as it's one of my favourite Disney films and it was on tv. I was a bit down about my weight too and the bit at the beginning when the animals all get their babies from the stork but the elephant doesn't get hers just made me sob. It still does to be honest. I feel so lucky every day to have DS and I do remember how hard it was not knowing if it would ever happen. (I know 7 months isn't that long to TTC but I knew I had PCOS and was over 35 and just felt like it would never happen - just to put it into context and I know you have been trying for much longer)

Hi all, can I join?

Just had a MMC - got a BFP 4 weeks after my implant was removed, however at 9 + 3 we were only measuring about 5+3...another two scans later it was finally confirmed and I have just had surgical management this past Tuesday, although started bleeding the Wednesday before.

Really keen to start trying again, although was advised to wait for my next period...So the waiting begins I guess!!

Xxx

Sorry you find yourself here @ceebee21. Did they advise you to wait just for dating purposes if you were to get your bfp again?

Hi @ceebee21 really sorry you've found yourself here and had to go through the horrible experience of a MMC. I hope everything gets back to 'normal' ASAP for you, it's encouraging that you must have ovulated only a couple of weeks after the implant came out, fingers crossed your cycles will be nice and short again.

@Seahawk80 thanks for sharing your story - I haven't seen that particular film since this whole painful TTC / 2mcs journey began but imagine it would really set me off! The one that always gets me going is 'Up', the scene at the start where they decorate a nursery together but no baby arrives is very emotional and then when his wife dies... you'd have to have a heart of stone to not shed a few tears there. You don't have to apologise for feeling upset after 7 months, I know from my own experience that I was feeling very sad 6 months after we 'started', especially as I was going 60+ days without a period and didn't appear to be ovulating at all. I don't knowingly have PCOS (think ovarian scans showed a 'borderline' result) but do suspect something isn't quite right as in a year since coming off the pill my initial cycles were about 3 months long and the shortest was still over 40 days. I did however have a 32 day cycle between MC1 and pregnancy 2 so I'm hoping for shorter ones this time. Though I'm now on CD26 (since mc) and no sign of ovulation, damn it!

Getting ready to go meet another newborn this morning, looking forward to hopefully lots of cuddles 💕

@Marmite83 thank you, no, to be honest they didn't say a lot, just we advise to wait for one AF then try again...but I can only see the reason being dating.

@Avocuddles exactly, that's definitely the positive I am taking and that we obviously fell pregnant that first cycle.

I do have an interactive thyroid so am doing a few blood tests to make sure the levels are being monitored correctly xxx

@Avocuddles ah I see, I didn’t realise you could buy things to temp with vaginally (other than Ovusense which I’ve just read up on) it does sounds quite a lot of work to be honest, I’m trying my hardest not to get all worked up and but everything! Although saying that, I have just ordered a 20 pack of Clear Blue Ovulation Tests I just really want to try again this cycle but don’t know what my body is going to do after the miscarriage last week, so thought it might help put my mind at ease that it’s going to go back to normal, hopefully!
I’ve never heard of the Premom App, thank you!
I have huge amounts of respect for women who have such long cycles, you must have the patience of a saint

@ceebee21 sorry to see you here, but welcome I had my second miscarriage last week and I am planning to try again straight away. I can’t see any other reason to wait (physically) other than dating, and you can date from ovulation rather than period. It’s making it slightly easier for me to come to terms with to be honest, if I was waiting til next cycle I think I’d be more sad/anxious. But you have to do what is right for you.

After my miscarriage last week I booked a GP appointment to talk about it, but now I’m wondering it’s worth it as it was ‘only’ my second one. It’s for Thursday. I have Factor V Leiden which is a blood disorder and had a DVT and PE is previous pregnancy, so I’m worried that this is causing the miscarriages. Do you think it’s acceptable to go to the GP to discuss?

@TwinkleStars15 definitely go to your GP - they may not be able to refer your for miscarriage investigations but there may be other suggestions they can make, especially given your medical history. I also have a history of clotting (not in pregnancy), have you been taking enoxaparin and aspirin? I've stopped now but was on in for the duration of both pregnancies until I miscarried. One of the most common actions of the miscarriage clinics is apparently to put people on these meds so it's kind of disheartening to think that they've not helped prevent the pregnancy from failing.

I do have clearblue opks but also find the 'easy at home' ones (from amazon) great as they are really cheap so nowhere near as eye watering expensive as the CBs. I've heard good things about ovusense but again it's quite expensive and I'd rather spend that on a spa day or minibreak!

The thermometers you use internally are basically exactly the same as the ones you'd put in your mouth - long with a small metal probe at the end. I got mine from amazon but found the whole experience a bit too stressful so steering clear of it for now.

Hi all, popping over from the grads to wish you all well.
I have loads of CB ovulation sticks that haven’t expired yet. I’d love to give them to someone, please DM with your address if you’d like them xx