TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

@ReeReeR @Sunflower1608 thank you The bleeding is worse now so pretty sure I’m having my second miscarriage. I hope to join you ladies again in the near future

@TwinkleStars15 hello and welcome. I've got my fingers crossed that this is just a little blip and your little bean is perfectly OK. Rest as best you can and what ever the outcome we're here to support you.

@VenusStarr how are you hun?

I ve noticed the thread has slowed down some. How are all you lovely ladies doing?

@TwinkleStars15 sorry to hear your update. If your planning to try again your more than welcome to stay here. Ttc can be a very lonely time sometimes.

@Russkispy @Pandora71 @Marmite83 @Sunflower1608 @ReeReeR @Avocuddles @JuniperAndRose @SunshineCrocodile @TwittleBee @TwinkleStars15 how are all you ladies getting on?

Im on cd8 today and my cbfm is all ready saying high fertility lol not sure if I should trust it.
Do any of you ladies take L-arginine or vitamin E for your uterus lining (to help thicken it) how much do you take, and do you take it after ovulation or stop taking it during tww.

The flu jab is perfectly safe and recommended during pregnancy.

Hi @Mumlili8 thanks for asking after me. I think I've ovulated so should be getting af soon (first one since mc). Part of me feels that it's a good thing my body is returning to normal quickly but the other part is dreading it. Got my pre-op assessment for my hysteroscopy on Wednesday, hopefully not waiting too long for a date. I spoke to the rmc last week and should have a letter soon, she said I can call back next week if I've heard nothing, so will on Tuesday. How's things with you? You might be leading up to peak as you have short cycles like me, I ovulated in cd10 last time.

Sorry to hear this @TwinkleStars15 ❤️ hope you're ok. Stay here, we're all in a similar position, although my ttc is on hold for a while. I mc nearly 3 weeks ago.

How's everyone else getting on? Xx

I've just read this and thought oh my god it's me 😂 I'm so loony now I've actually tried some of these things, and she's right it doesn't seem to work for me either 😂

metro.co.uk/2018/12/04/the-craziest-things-i-did-in-the-name-of-infertility-8172256/

Sorry I’m reappearing here and haven’t been on for a while. Haven’t been in the right head space so been avoiding anything pregnancy related.

@ReeReeR I’m a nurse and the flu jab is fine. It’s not a live vaccine and would give it to you if you were pregnant and it’s no different from the pregnant/non pregnant vaccine. There are 3 vaccines, over 65, under 65 and children.

@TwinkleStars15 I’m sorry you find yourself here. How is the bleeding today?

@VenusStarr I’m sorry your struggling at the moment. The only advice is to do as your doing and try to keep busy with swimming etc. Also please make sure your kind to yourself x

@TwittleBee I’m sorry about the N&N. It’s my local hospital too. I hope you get this sorted ASAP.

So in regards to my miscarriage it was 6 week ago Monday and I still haven’t had a period. I’m getting really paranoid it’s never going to come back. I had a 35 day cycle before and was always regular. Can this be normal?!

Hugs to all and be kind to yourself ladies. The world is hard enough on us as it is x

Thank you @June1987, sorry to hear you've been struggling too, sending a hug ❤️ when did you test negative after your mc? It could be it took a while for the hcg to drop? I have to say I've not tested since mine. I know it was complete and my lining was 2mm so didn't want to upset myself by seeing a negative. Might be worth speaking to your GP if af still isn't here in a week or two?
I've been swimming 4 times this week, starting to enjoy it now and feel my mood is a bit better. I'm back at work on Monday, my boss is being really kind - like last time she said I can basically do hours to suit me for a few weeks.

I'll take a look at the article @Mumlili8, I'm sure I've done many of the things too!

Seeing my uncle tomorrow with his 4 month old. Earlier this week I thought it would be too hard but decided I will go. Will need extra hugs from dh after. X

Thank you @Mumlili8 I stupidly assumed everyone here was pregnant and didn’t realise that there are also people ttc too.

@VenusStarr sorry to hear that happen to you, how are you doing? Are you waiting to try again for physical or emotional reasons?

@June1987 the bleeding has continued, it’s a bit like a period to be honest. Not a lot on a pad but quite a bit when I wipe and yesterday it was also dripping a bit into the bowl. I’ve had no cramps, just an ache for 2 days. I think where I was quite early it hasn’t been too awful. Whatever the reason, I’m so so thankful it has been relatively pain free, I’m aware it could have been a lot worse (unless there is worse to come?) I don’t feel pregnant today, had no nausea or indigestion.

I do have a question, or two Does everyone having a miscarriage HAVE to go to EPU? To check that everything has happened properly? Or should I just take another pregnancy test at some point to check it is negative? How long should I wait to do that? Sorry for all the questions, my last miscarriage was detected at my 12 week scan and I had surgery, so I haven’t been through this before....

Thank you @TwinkleStars15 this is my second mmc this year, first was in April. I have a fibroid that my fertility consultant wants to take out, hoping surgery will be in the next few weeks. After my first mc we threw ourselves into ttc again and caught fairly quickly but then miscarried around the same time (both babies didn't grow past 5 weeks but miscarried at 9). Emotionally I feel like I need a bit of a break, but it's hard!
I don't think you have to go to the epu, if you don't want to go. I've been to the epu for both of mine so not had experience of not going. Hope you're OK xx

That article made me laugh @Mumlili8 ( not sure I was supposed to find some of it funny!). I'm now wondering if egg whites are worth a try!! Glad to know I'm not the only crazy person though.

@June1987, I'm normally a 28 day cycle and after my first mmc it took 5 weeks for af to appear. I'm only 2 weeks past my second mmc so think I've got a few weeks to wait yet but I'd say a week or two longer than your usual cycle is nothing to worry about. Appreciate it's frustrating though. Hope af appears for you soon.

My bleeding has pretty much finally stopped although there's a bit of brown every now and then still. Hpt is still showing a very faint line, really hoping it won't delay af too much. Just want to get on with the FET as soon as poss.

Pretty certain you dont have to go to epu @TwinkleStars15. I was told to take hpt after 2 weeks and then a week later (if it was still positive at 2 weeks). They said if it was still positive after 3 weeks I should go to gp as it suggests something is still in there. I had erpc this time so hoping that won't be the case. If you dont go to epu I'd suggest asking your gp to add your mc to your notes so it's recorded. If I have another one (although it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant again!) I'm hoping they'll run tests as that will make 3 mc in total.

@TwinkleStars15 This is a TTV after loss thread. There is a “graduated” thread for those who were on this thread and are now pregnant. I had a full term stillbirth early this year and an early MC in August. I’m TTC again now.

My MC in august was v early (4-5 weeks). It started off with mild cramping and then spotting which turned into a heavy period type bleeding. I went to the GP just because I didn’t really know what to do but she just said to take paracetamol if I needed and go to A&E if pain and bleeding got very bad. If you are past 6-7 weeks then they can scan you to check whether you have MC but I don’t think you have to go to EPU.

Hope you’re ok @Mumlili8 and @venusstarr

@June1987 and @Pandora71 Thanks for the reassurance re flu jab. GP said it’s fine too. It is just strange that they won’t do it if you’re pregnant. I’m sure that’s what they said before. But if it’s the same one then I’ll just have it. I don’t think I’m pregnant anyway but I don’t even take paracetamol in the 2WW if I can avoid it 😂

I’m v grumpy so think I have PMT (CD24 and about 8DPo). I had PMT type symptoms in my first pregnancy before my BFP and carried her to term but with the second one it was lack of PMT symptoms which made me realise I was pregnant so who knows... Second one didn’t last long though so I’m hoping there’s a chance! 🤷‍♀️

@VenusStarr thank you for reassurance. I took a test and was negative so that’s why I didn’t end up going to epau. Just got to hope AF appears soon so we can start trying again. I’m glad your enjoying swimming, it’s good when you actually like it and doesn’t feel like a chore.

@TwinkleStars15 sorry to say but that does sound exactly like my miscarriage. I spotted for 2/3 days and then got really heavy but not really too painful luckily. See how you go because it can be normal for a small bleed but I know when people told me that I then got hopeful and I don’t want to do that to you. I didn’t go to EPAU as a week in from bleeding had a negative test so I think unfortunately that’s what they suggest. It’s horrible to see a negative though.

@Marmite83 thank you for responding. It’s nice to hear it can be normal. Heard so many people say they got pregnant straight away and they went back to normal straight away which is hard when I haven’t. I hope you also get back to normal soon. I think it’s the waiting that’s hard.

@ReeReeR your very good in your 2ww. But you will have the same flu jab as a pregnant lady so not sure why they even ask if your pregnant because it makes no difference. Only thing to be worried about is egg allergy really.

Been making cookies this afternoon with my 5 year old and he said to me when will you have a baby in your belly. My husband had to come in and take over so I could have a little cry. Which is just ridiculous as I know how lucky I am to have him!

@June1987 my DS went to jump on me today and first checked “do you have a baby in your tummy?” - “no” - then proceeded to jump on me. His joy, my sadness.

@Mumlili8 I've only heard about L-arginine in preworkout for the gym 😆 it's meant to give you better "pump". In theory it's supposed to support blood flow to areas.
Have no idea regarding fertility.

I have quite short cycles of about 24days so usually ovulate on cd10.

@TwinkleStars15 I'm sorry that you're still bleeding. My local EPU wouldn't even acknowledge me as I was too early in my pregnancy. Nor would they give me any advice. My gp advised I only attend a&e if I have significant bleeding or pain, pain in my shoulder or if I faint. I tested 9 days after I started bleeding and got a negative.

@ReeReeR and @June1987 the innocent words of babes can be the hardest. My little two always speak about their dad and new step mum and baby brother and ask me constantly when am I going to have one.
There's no shame in finding it sad for the babies lost and not present whilst still feeling incredibly in love and grateful for the ones we have.

I help run a group for women with perinatal mental health problems and went last Friday as no one else could in the midst of bleeding which I felt really hard. I called off this week and explained why and was really touched to receive a bunch of flowers and a card expressing their thoughts. It's meant so much. I only told a couple of people I was pregnant, the. To explain I had lost it was so difficult. I've carried on with work regardless as I didn't want to get into conversation regarding the situation and worried how they will react when I am pregnant as it's a relatively new job and a fairly risky environment so don't want they to give consideration to move me away before I am even really properly pregnant. I didn't tell family as they've always reacted negatively to my pregnancies. So this little act of kindness and consideration really made me sob today. I think I'm ok and then all of a sudden I will get very tearful

@June1987 Yes exactly. When they come into do the jabs I’ll just go for it and if she asks if I’m pregnant I’ll question it. It will only be an issue if it’s during my 2WW or if I’ve had a positive pregnancy test.

@Sunflower1608 I think you might have confused me with someone else on here as I don’t have any living children. A card and flowers was really nice of those women. I think it is understandable this is an emotional time for you.

Update: just did a test and it’s negative. I’m okay actually (as okay as can be expected) I’m surprised it’s showed as negative so quickly, but pleased because hopefully it means my body can get back to normal now and we can try again soon. Thank you for all your support I’ll stick around - officially back on the ttc bandwagon xx

I hope it's ok if I dip my toe in here. I had a mmc a few weeks ago at 9 weeks (baby 8 weeks) and had the surgery. I'm still getting very faint positives on a FRER. Getting a bit frustrated now as I'm feeling ready to try again. I presume I won't ovulate until all the HCG is out of my system? Although wouldn't want to try until I'd had a negative anyway.

Four weeks since the surgery on Wednesday, so think I'll take a test on Tuesday and if it's still not negative I'll have to phone someone.

Hi everyone, and thanks @Mumlili8 for asking after me.

I'm ok though dealing with the emotional impact of two of my closest friends having given birth to their first babies within the past two days (one on Friday and one this morning). I'm so happy for both of them and looking forward to meeting their little ones but understandably can't help feeling sad, especially as I know that both of them fell (successfully) pregnant within a couple of months of trying whereas we're 18 months into the TTC journey with nothing to show for it other than the memory of 2 losses at 7-8 weeks . I've been on a spa weekend with DH this weekend which was probably perfectly timed as it helped us to relax and enjoy each other's company. Rare beef and a few glasses of wine were on the menu along with lots of sauna and hot tub time....
We're not TTC this month as I want to have a period first, I feel ready for another pregnancy but unfortunately I don't feel ready for another MC - it's my mum's 60 in November and we have a surprise holiday planned which I don't want to derail, so we're going to wait a few more weeks to start actively trying again (we're currently sticking to the withdrawal method ) so that if was pregnant by then it would be very very early and I wouldn't feel as nervous.

@VenusStarr glad to hear that things are moving forward with the RMC as well as your other tests. I have a fertility clinic appointment on the 15th but feel nervous that they might refuse to talk to me once they find out that I had a second natural pregnancy....

@Mumlili8 good luck for this cycle, exciting to hear that O is hopefully on it's way! I'm testing with easy at home strips along with clear blue digital to understand what's going on with my body rather than to actively TTC this month. Suspect it's going to be one of those months where the flashing smilies go on for weeks on end, I dread to think how much I've spent on them over the past year!

@TwinkleStars15 and @MindyStClaire sorry you've found yourself here. @MindyStClaire I appreciate how frustrating it is when it takes a long time for the HCG to leave your system. Both of my MCs have been at 7-8 weeks and the first one took just over 3 weeks for a negative, with AF arriving 7 weeks after I'd started bleeding. It sounds like a good idea for you to give the EPU a call - surgery should have got everything out but a prolonged positive can indicate a small amount of tissue remaining inside. I passed a lump of tissue around 3 weeks after the first loss and it wasn't until after that that the HCG dropped away.

@June1987 fingers crossed you won't have to wait much longer. As I've just said it took me 7 weeks, then my second cycle was 32 days which is unusually short for me.

@ReeReeR the earliest symptoms for my first pregnancy were very like PMT, the second one probably not noticeably as much but I tested very early with that one so perhaps wasn't paying attention in the same way. My fingers are crossed for you - are you planning on testing early or holding out a bit longer?

Apologies for everything being bold - new phone clearly feeling a bit shouty!

Hi ladies! I've kindly been invited to join by @Venusstarr, I've been looking for a safe place and someone to talk to...

I'll be 33 next week, lost my first baby to MMC about 4 months ago at 10 weeks, had a bad experience with medical management and was pretty traumatised overall. I am much better now and have been on the TTC journey for 2 months. Had 3 cycles since the MMC (37d, 35d, 37d). AF arrived yesterday after my last cycle, 3 days late, and I felt so broken, as we've been trying so hard, using OPKs, you name it, we've done it, and still no result. I also had major pregnancy symptoms, so it was a bit of a bummer really. I'm back to square one, gutted I have nothing to celebrate on my birthday and even if I do get pg, I won't be in the safe zone before Christmas or before my due date (Jan 2020). This feels pretty crap.

But, I am not giving up, I'm going to start temping this month and see what happens.

Sorry for your losses, lots of love and baby dust to you all ❤️ xxx

@TwinkleStars15 Hope you’re doing ok

@MindyStClaire Sorry you find yourself here. I think it’s best to wait ‘til you have a negative until you start trying as I have seen ladies on here confused when they have got BFPs and not sure if it’s a new one or the previous positive. Have you been advised to wait a certain amount of time before TTC? Some say to wait 14 due to risk of infection but I don’t know if that’s old advice. My MC was so early that I treated it like a period. And agree my DD was stillborn I didn’t even want to dtd for weeks!

@Avocuddles That’s though with your friends but you sound like a lovely friend. I love a spa, glad you managed to have so R&R with your DH. I am still hopeful that the hormones could be pregnancy hormones but I’m none the wiser as each of my pregnancies was so different in that regards. I was tempted to do a FRER about an hour ago but I don’t know if it would even work since it’s not FMU. If I feel like it in the morning then I might test but it probably is PMT!

@MrsMGE I have been “chatting” with you on the other thread (similar username). This is a really supportive group.