TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

Good morning all,

Yes @SunshineCrocodile it was one of the photos from our shoot, we got a few family shots too and I had one with my baby's toys in my arms rather than my baby - pretty personal that one so unsure if I'll even share it with family. AND YES! So much good luck for this BFP! could it be that your CP was implantation bleed or did you see a negative during / after the bleeding?

@JuniperAndRose thank you, I dont feel brave - tbh I feel like a mad woman with how many people I email and phone on what feels like a daily basis chasing for answers and seeking to make noise about how unfairly we are all treated still.

@Mumlili8 my chart was all over the place too with a late AF... I am assuming chart was slightly out of sync with what happened. Maybe you too actually ovulated a day later?

@Avocuddles well done for getting through this past week and I am glad to hear the bleeding is over. Sending love

Thank yo ufor that reminder about BLAW @ReeReeR I shall be sure to mention that to the BBC and see if they are keen to tie it in with that too.

Welcome @Sunflower1608 and sorry you find yourself here - I think it really is a shock to everyone that has their first MC / still birth / infant loss - no one thinks it will happen to them despite the statistic being 1 in 4 pregnancies ending in loss and 15 babies dying a day in the UK during or shortly after birth.

Nothing to report here, just checking in. AF is dying down today and DH and I have agreed to DTD every other day with Conceive+ lube this cycle - it is how we got luck previous 2 times so worth a try again.

URGH I do have something to report! Norwich Hospital is delaying releasing my son's medical notes regarding his short life in NICU because they fear it will impact my mental health... well no sh*t!

Hi everyone, sorry I'm not contributing at the moment. I don't know if my hormones are crashing but I'm feeling really bad. I've not cried much this time round but it seems to be hitting me now. I think the fact we can't try isn't helping, last time I threw myself into that. I'm also petrified of us getting pregnant again and losing that baby too.

I've just cancelled my counselling for this week, despite me telling them that I was miscarrying a second time and feeling that one appointment wasn't going to be helpful (was on my last session) my counsellor said leave it with her and she'd see what she could do, so they offered me one extra appointment, very generous. But I've lost trust in my counsellor, she forced me to describe this miscarriage to her, it almost felt vouyeristic and I don't feel comfortable going back to her now.ive been worse since that appointment actually.

Dh has told me he's struggling too 💔 just feeling completely helpless. I've been swimming and to yoga but really it's just something to do, it doesn't take the pain away or make me feel better.

Sorry for the offload, I hope I haven't upset anyone.

Welcome @Sunflower1608, I'm sorry you find yourself here, hopefully it will be a short stay for you.

That's wonderful news @SunshineCrocodile, I hope this is the one for you!

I'm intrigued by gong baths and ASMR, I'll be doing some Googling tonight I think.

It's my first day back in the office today and it's dragging big time. I had a hen do for a very good friend at the weekend and it was really lovely to spend time with friends and just have some fun. I ate and drank whatever I wanted and it was a good distraction while it lasted but I feel pretty exhausted today. I'm still bleeding lightly and have been since Wednesday last week but at leats the pain has pretty much gone now. The hpt is still showing positive although it did appear to be a little fainter yesterday so hopefully I'll get a negative soon. I have my IVF clinic follow up appt tomorrow so hopefully I'll have more idea of the plan moving forward following that.

Oh that’s rubbish @TwittleBee I’m sorry you have so much to deal with

Sorry you are feeling this way @VenusStarr Strange of your counsellor. Maybe she thought it would help in some way but if you go back to her (don’t if you don’t want to) maybe just tell her if you don’t want to discuss in detail. Sometimes it’s easy to expect our counsellors to be super professional and without emotion / curiosity and it cane be strange when they show themselves to be flawed. I found that with mine anyway. She was good but then sometimes she said things (when seeing her as a couple) that I thought were thoughtless and could have caused more problems.

@Marmite83 It’s great you managed to have a nice weekend.

I'm so sorry about your losses. In some ways I'm thankful it happened sooner rather then later, I can't imagine what it was like. I know my mum had 6 MC before falling Pg with me. Ive known other people to have them to, I just never thought I would. I guess that's kind of narcissistic. But I don't think anyone believes they will be the victim of misfortune.
I feel really impatient to get trying again, but just worried about the whole process, and worried that I'm still bleeding

Looks like the thread didn't update properly before my earlier post.

@Twittlebee that sucks. Surely you should have the right to your son's notes whenever you feel is the right time!

Sorry you're feeling so down @@VenusStarr, at least yoga and swimming is good for your body even if it's not helping your mind.

I'm feeling impatient too @Sunflower1608, hope the bleeding stops for us both soon.

Well that was the shortest AF ever lasted (extremely light only needed a panty liner) just 1 1/2 days. Gp as referred me to a different hospital now so maybe it'll get answers and the tests I need too.

How are you all doing?

I hope you get some answers @Mumlili8

I’m back after a couple weeks travelling. I visited friends who all have small babies or are pregnant. I didn’t feel bitter, which I’m glad about. It was still so hard seeing babies who were younger than my DD now older than her. She’s stuck in time forever at 4 months old.

I did have a period so at least I know roughly where I am now. CD10 so on the train home now for dtd party. I think I’ll need a glass of wine. For those of you who were asking, yes I did ride my bike a lot, in the rain.

@TwittleBee so insensitive of Petals not to think about their location! And how can they keep your medical information from you. I’d be throwing a fit.

@Russkispy congratulations on the blasts. What happens next?

@SunshineCrocodile congratulations.

Hi @Pandora71

I hope you enjoyed your travels. I have a similar thinking about babies younger than my DD seemingly overtaking her and I also feel strange about women who got pregnant after me or since I had DD when she isn’t here...

I’m watching Sex & the City from the beginning and I’m at the bit where Charlotte is pleading infertility because she wasn’t pregnant after 5 months - 5 months isn’t that long, is it? I mean, it’s American and YEARS old...

@Pandora71 thank you for asking.
We have 12 top quality blasts in the freezer. 2 of them were biopsied and PGS tested. I just got results back and both are healthy and no abnormalities detected. A huge relief and passed another huge milestone.
Next weekend I’ll be flying to our clinic for a scan, after AF next week, to check on the cyst and also determine whether I’ll have natural or medicated cycle before transfer in 3 weeks or so. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Sounds positive @russkispy Fingers crossed for you

I have a question. I am due to have the flu jab at work on Monday and just had a thought that I am in the 2WW so don’t know if it’s safe? Has anyone had the “normal” jab when pregnant or in the 2WW? I know pregnant women have it but I’m sure at my work they ask if you are pregnant or may be pregnant and refuse to administer it if you are so wondered whether they are different types? 🤷‍♀️

@ReeReeR according to the NHS website it should be fine www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/flu-jab-vaccine-pregnant/

@Russkispy, 12 top quality blasts is amazing. I have 3 frozen blasts and was really happy with that!

@Marmite83 Thanks. I thought that but it’s odd they ask if you’re pregnant / could be and refuse to give if it if so

@Russkispy wow that's great. Fingers crossed that all goes well.

@ReeReeR if you are worried, why don't you reschedule for after 2 weeks? You didn't need anything else on your mind. Fingers crossed that you get a bfp soon.

I've stopped bleeding and we've been trying again this week. On Tuesday I had a brief show of ewcm but no other signs of ovulation. I've never really tracked. Is it possible to ovulate so soon after a miscarriage? It's about 2 weeks after I started bleeding. Just getting myself in a tizz over wondering if I'm seeing signs because I want it so much and being terrified of getting my hopes up again

@Sunflower1608 My employer offers the flu jab to all employees for free and Monday is the only day they are in my office. If I don’t have it on Monday then I won’t get it.

I think you probably can ovulate so quickly after MC. I got my period at the same time after my early MC in August and I got my period 4 weeks after my full term loss early this year so I think our bodies can bounce back quickly. I wasn’t tracking ovulation though.

I think flu jabs are only about £10-£15 so if you're worried you could just get one done outside of work. A bit of a pain, I know, but maybe worth it for the peace of mind?

@Sunflower1608 I'm pretty certain you can ovulate that quickly.

I stopped bleeding too so we dtd for the first time in about two and a half months (too scared to do it in the first trimester) last night. I've had a bit more bleeding since but nothing major. I'm glad we dtd last night though because I feel like we're at least ttc again, although I'm under no illusion I'm likely to get pregnant naturally. Just nice to not feel so in limbo.

@Marmite83 sometimes feeling like you're doing something about the problem feels so much better then doing nothing. I feel like getting back, talking and DTD has helped me and my partner feel close again. I'm very much a person that becomes very self contained and shuts everyone out when sad or stressed. It's made me feel more positive getting back to trying
Fingers crossed you catch x

Exactly @Sunflower1608! Fingers crossed for you too (and everyone else on the thread)

I called the GP and she said she thinks it’s fine as pregnant women are advised to he the flu jab and it is the same version of the jab that everyone gets apart from children. She said if they suggest not taking it then ask why not.

Can’t I join you please? I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter for which I am ever so thankful for. I had a mmc at 10/11 weeks last year and found out last Friday that I was pregnant again. I’m 4+6 but started bleeding today - mainly brown but seems to be getting more red every time I wipe. I’m expecting the worst obviously. I also did a Clear Blue digi last Friday which said 1-2 weeks, and another this morning which said the same. Although I know they are unreliable, it seems like another sign. Feeling a bit gutted and fragile at the moment.

Hi @TwinkleStars15 Sorry you find yourself here. If this is what you think then I hope you have some real life support and this is a really lovely group.

@TwinkleStars15 I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It's exactly what happened to me. Brown turning to red, did the same with the clear blue. I really hope it's a sticky bean, I had a massive haemorrhage with my youngest and couldn't believe that I went on to have a normal pregnancy.
It's the not knowing either way I've found the worst. This limbo stage.
I hope your partner is supportive and we are here if you need us

Re flu jab, had an email to say they need to be rearranged due to unforeseen circumstances...