TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

@Daisyboo70 your tests look fine, but if you can I would really try not to obsess over them xx

I know @frillyfarmer trying my hardest not to test again for a few days

@Russkispy sorry you had such a hard day made even harder. I would have shouted too! I hope you are resting up and have plenty of support xxx

@frillyfarmer absolutely the right thing to cancel your friend! And you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Thinking of you xxx

Amazing news on all the BFPs!! Tentative congrats and hoping for you all.

Sadly for me I think another ectopic is looking more likely as I've been having pain in my right side today. Going to call the EPU if it gets worse.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue it might be nothing but please go get checked out if you're worried, with your history EPU will not mind scanning you, especially if you have pain xx

Hey I'm 39 TTC 3
Just had an early mis at 5 weeks last week

I had 2 misses at 29 and I've 2 kids 7 and 4
I got pregnant after 5/6 cycles so hoping it won't take long and it sticks as I'm only gonna try for a few months

Sorry to talk about myself but would like to share another awkward instance of bra shopping / being in the real world

(Cannot really ignore that I just had a baby as I probably look like I just had a baby and am in maternity jeans but should probably stop as it doesn’t help and actually they’re slipping down now)

Here’s an extract of our conversation -

Her: What brings you here?
Me: My boobs have grown since I got pregnant etc.
Her: How old’s your baby?
Me: I had her on 13 Feb so nearly three months
Her: are you feeding?
Me: No
Her: have you fed at all?
Me: no
(Later)
Her: What’s baby’s name?
(It felt too late at this stage to tell her baby is dead)
Me: Ruby
Her: Is Ruby your first?
Me: Yes
Her: And your last?
Me: I hope not (thinking I REALLY hope not and it’s one of my biggest fears)

I actually felt quite upset at one point

The woman was otherwise so lovely and helpful but how does one deal with this!? After the awkward sitch at the dentist when he asked “who’s looking after the baby?” and he told him and then it got bit awkward I wished I’d made something op

Oh and then the woman in the next cubicle was talking about how she’s 36 weeks pregnant

Otherwise highly recommend Bravissimo! 🤦‍♀️

Wow @Laney79 that is a really strong line. Congratulations! Fx for a sticky bean and a healthy 40 weeks!

@Daisyboo70 congratulations! Fx this one sticks. Those lines are definitely clear.

@Russkispy so sorry you had such a shit time. I hope you're being looked after.

So I'm 36 hours since my earlier than usual positive OPK. Had 25 IC one step pregnancy tests delivered today. No idea why I thought it was a good idea to buy them! I'm just tempting fate. I already have 5 FRERs and 1 CB digital in a drawer and now these. I'm losing my mind!!!! Second acupuncture session tomorrow afternoon. I wonder if the acupuncture or the antibiotics have affected this month's ovulation and brought it forward?

@AliceRR sorry you had such an awkward time shopping. Just shows how people have no idea what can happen or just don't think. I've had similar when I've referred to being pregnant then people comment or AJ questions about my baby and I have to tell then.......... awkward! Plus me trying not to cry.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue please get yourself to EPU. Hope you are okay x

@InDreamland Yes, acupuncture could have affected when you ovulate. My cycles got a bit shorter and started running like clock-work as soon as I started acupuncture.

You’re right @InDreamland There is often a silence around Miscarriage. Let’s not forget the reason many people keep schtum until 12 weeks is in case the baby doesn’t survived. So many mc aren’t talked about. And what about after? Well it seems so rare that anything goes wrong later that it is shocking to people. It obviously hadn’t occurred to this woman (and many others) that whilst I’d been pregnant and had a baby, I don’t have a baby at home. In my experience you don’t hear about stillbirth until it happens to you and then everyone knows someone it happened to!

Sorry I’m ranty

@MyHeartIsBroken I’m sorry I didn’t see all the updates before I posted earlier as I was on the train with limited signal. I’m so sorry you are having these worries. I do hope everything is ok but think it is a good idea go to EPU if you feel like it even if it is just to set your mind at rest.

Hello ladies,

I was wondering if I could pick your brains regarding appropriate female fertility tests fo check hormone levels for ttc. I also have irregular cycles/possible pcos.

I had a full screen in my early 30s inc AMH, LH, FSH and testosterone. All normal but I did have poly cystic ovaries on an ultrasound. I'm now nearly 40 and coming to the end of a two month cycle. I just wanted to see if I could have the tests checked to make sure there's no issues. I've also just had a mmc and a cp.

The GP didn't know what AMH was (a little surprised) but he did order the other tests. Is there anything else they should be testing for?

I was on the whole pretty frustrated with the doctor. He didn't seem to know anything about pcos. I asked what else I could do to regulate my cycles he said nothing and that he normally just puts woman on the pill but since I'm ttc that won't work. It also looks like a DHs SA has been lost too which is frustrating as we couldn't dtd for 48 hrs before I ovulated on the sample day.

Any thoughts or experiences with fertility testing would be greatly appreciated! Xx

@frillyfarmer so sorry you're going through this shit! Sending big hugs.
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue hope it's not ectopic! Did you get through to EPU?

Oh @AliceRR that sounds so so hard. I've started being so blunt when people ask me about plans for another one, I always tell them straight and the awkward afterwards is absolutely all theirs. It has cracked me a couple of times though so I can't imagine how you must feel. I have no advice other than people are thoughtless sometimes.

I'm mad with the world today. Half of my head is just so fucking angry I've lost another bean, another set of dates, another future. The other half wants to crack on and get going again.

I'm 29 and I have a child conceived naturally and easily - my GP's response to tests yesterday. The irrational part of my is concerned about secondary infertility or just being lucky the first time round but if my GP says I don't need tests, do I accept that for now or push?

Love to you all on this thread. In between all my recently birthed or knocked up friends, I don't have many people who understand what I'm going through. To make it slightly worst my solid as a rock DH is really in bits this time round.

5dpo and I've started symptom spotting! I've had pains/cramping in either sides, exhausted and sore boobs

@AliceRR I agree it's not talked about enough so people find it shocking. I'm fairly comfortable talking about DD in conversation but some people seem to ignore it. I've also had the dilemma of whether to lie or not, I think it depends on which I can cope with at the time.

Some of you may remember that I have a friend which was due 2 weeks after me, I met her little boy for the first time today. I didn't cry but did find it very hard. I'm glad I have now met him though.

Thanks everyone - trying to stay positive but obviously worried after my previous two losses. I'm due to see the fertility consultant on weds to discuss the ivf and I'm hoping they'll still let me see him. Partly to get our test results, but also to ask about anything I can do, and wether I should be tested for hormone levels as mine were so out of whack pre-conception. Gotta protect this little one.

Thanks @Mistymeow - glad you held the hope I couldn't! Xxx

@Daisyboo70 your tests look good lovely. Congratulations!

Pleased to hear you got a better result this morning @Bluebelltulip - I'm terrified too!

@TinyPaws what did you differently with vitamin D? Great level!

@frillyfarmer I don't blame you for cancelling lovely. It's awful and very unfair. I'd be angry too, and yes push -you have to do what's right for you.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Did you speak to the epau? I hope the pain eased off and all is ok

@AliceRR That experience sounds really tough -I really feel for you. you are right about MCs not being discussed enough. I hate that our little ones are seen as something to be kept secret by some people.

@InDreamland I've no idea if it's helped me but I've had three sessions of acupuncture and I started it this cycle. So it could be a factor?

@Catconfusion I'd be narked too by the gp with that response. I know where I am that gps can't order an AMH test-only consultants. If I was you I'd ask to be referred to a fertility specialist. I discovered that here you can be referred for investigation without having to be on the pathway for treatment like ivf-but the gps don't know that! If you get no luck you could pay and get an AMH done privately (I think it's about £50-75) or pay to see a specialist privately. In all honesty the £200 I spent on my private consultation was worth the money. Xxx

@Bluebelltulip I’ve just found out my friend is due a few weeks after what would have been my due date, it makes me glad to read your view, I’m terrified it’s going to be awful.

And everyone else who’s mentioned it’s not talked about enough, I’m so glad (not the right word but you know what I mean) for the internet! I have one friend who’s been through a similar thing but she’s in another country...

Can feel AF on its way so soon be time to try again

So sorry ladies, this thread had moved so fast the past couple of days I've struggled to keep up properly with everyone, so apologies to those I've missed off my last couple of posts.

@bluebelltulip congratulations! Glad it's a stronger line today. Fx for a sticky bean.

@Frillyfarmer so sorry you're going through all this shit. You did the right thing cancelling lunch with your friend. You need to do what's right for you and protect your feelings at the moment.

Taken our last antibiotics. Hopefully that helps or chances of a BFP without another MC. I can't take a 3rd MC but need that BFP first. Looking forward to my next acupuncture session tomorrow.

@Laney79 I hope I have some of your luck.

@TinyPaws I've been taking vitamin D tablets since MC#1 in July. What did you do to increase your levels?

@Mistymeow how are you?

@KnitKitty I'd be really interested to know if you think acupuncture has really helped with fertility. Good that it's made your cycles more clock work.

@AliceRR you're not ranty at all but guess we all understand here about mc/ baby loss being so secret and misunderstood.

@Catconfusion after my experiences with the NHS fertility clinics over the past 5 years I'd say if you can afford it then go private for testing. The money we've spent has been worth every penny for all the additional knowledge we now have. I regret not going private 3 or 4 years ago.

@ale2992 fx for this cycle! Will you be testing early or holding out until AF is due?

@InDreamland @Laney79 I took 2 3000IU sprays of vitamin D per day. I used the BetterYou one, I figured absorbing it through my cheek might be better as I had been taking tablets but my levels were still a bit low. I also got plenty of sunshine and if there was little/no sunshine I used a tanning bed once per week.

@Avf88 I also had a friend who had her baby a few weeks after me. All along we were looking forward to mat leave together and then kill my baby died at nearly 40 weeks. I saw her a couple of weeks after when she was about 39 weeks and then I actually had her over at my house with her baby a few weeks ago. I found it ok. I didn’t get too involved with the baby but I did hold her etc and I didn’t get that emotional about it. Everyone is different though and I know I feel better some days than others so just be kind to yourself x

@Laney79 thank you so much for replying. How are you feeling mama? I'm so pleased for you!

I might do what you did and speak to someone in our ccg. I can't believe how clueless the gp was.

He said we haven't been trying long enough for a referral and we're soon 40 so by the time we have too old. It just doesn't seem fair. It's 7 months since we stopped using contraception. Probably by the time we see someone we'll have been trying long enough. Guess we'll be too old though.

Probably best to go private. Maybe get the FSH and LH done on cd 3 (still can't believe I told the gp when they needed to be done) then go from there. Hopefully DHs SA will turn up too if it's not loss. I can't believe how stressful this is! Xx

Thank you so much @InDreamland it's really helpful to hear your views in hindsight. I have a feeling we'll feel the same if it carries on like this. Don't get me wrong, the nhs were great with treatment during my mmc and mc as very traumatic but the diagnostic stuff seems rubbish.

How are you feeling at the moment? Xx

Massive congratulations to you @Bluebelltulip and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I have my fingers crossed all is ok and any anxieties pass. Xx

I'm so sorry @frillyfarmer your last few posts have given me a lump in my throat, just appreciating my devastating it is to go through another loss. I do hope you're able to rest up and recover as well as you can. Love you you and DH! Xx

Hello everyone else and sorry I've not been great at catching up or mentioning everyone. I hope you're all ok. I just got a bfn at 12 dpo so my cycle after my back to back mmc and mc has probably been unsuccessful. I'm ok though as it's been a marathon with O on day 36 also not being able to time dtd well due to DHs SA being on the same day, typical! I'm still getting some pelvic pain which feels like it could be related to the ERPC so staying positive and letting my body heal is a good thing. Xx