TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

Thinking of you today @Russkispy

@FrillyFarmer hope you are ok and all the other pregnant ladies, hope your little beans stick. Pregnancy after loss is just so hard. I remember getting my 2nd BFP and being petrified of another MC and then it happened. Hope you have all the support you need.

Got a static smiley on the CB OPK this morning. Earlier than I normally get it, I'm CD12 today. Very odd.

@frillyfarmer having a plan is good-something to focus on. I'm the same.

@Beaglemum93 how did the scan go?

@Bluebelltulip fingers crossed for you, and you too @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue and @Daisyboo70

@moonpeace I've read some stuff about hyper fertility and the womb being not "choosy" enough-from memory a possible treatment that was being trialled by some specialists was an endometrial scratch. I too have a friend who swears a combo of acupuncture and Chinese herbs helped them get their DD1.

Thanks ladies for the support.

@InDreamland My ovulation has been moving around all over the shop too. I think with me it's my age and another sign my ovaries are failing....

Hugs to all, especially @Russkispy Today xxxx

So as for me.

Spent the day so wound up I was like a coiled spring. OH sperm analysis test went ok (although he did say the pot was a bit small so he was worried about not catching all the little guys if his aim was off! Thankfully it wasn't 😜)

I was absolutely petrified about my internal scan. I've had plenty before (6 in fact) due to losing my bean and bow last year, but this was a different place, different people who don't know me or my anxiety. I was physically shaking in the waiting room.

Sadly it was a bloke (older fella too) which made me even more nervous. The nurse was kind though. Had to ask them if we could not use the stirrups. For me stirrups just make me feel so vulnerable and I never had to have them for any of my other scans. Thankfully they said ok (but she had to ask as the dr "usually likes to use them"). I was gripping OH hand so tightly. Due to my anxiety it was a bit sore going in, and I really don't like the poking around feeling but I managed to stay put. He called out lots of measurements to the nurse of my uterus, ovaries cervix etc, but didn't really speak to me and I think if I hadn't said anything to him at the end that would've been that!! However I did ask-as anxious and desperate to go home as I was I wanted to know if everything was ok!!! He didn't say a lot, no cysts or fibroids, could tell I'd ovulated but without the blood results that was it.

I did manage to remember some of the numbers/info he was giving to the nurse though...I think my Antral follicle counts were 3 on the right 2 on the left, plus a Corpeus lutem on the left, and my endometrium was 8mm. From dr google the follicle count is low, verging on too low... so I have to hope my AMH is better otherwise I'm concerned they won't do ivf. Not sure if the lining is thick enough either at 8mm. Due AF sat/sun so not sure if it would normally be thicker. He did say he couldn't tell if I was pregnant or not yet. So I think I'll break out a frer first thing just in case.

It's been a hell of a day! 12 hours later I'm finally home! Went to EPu at 8, 6 hours later they told me I might not even have the procedure done today as theaters/surgeons are busy! By then I haven't had a drink or food since yesterday 4-6pm as I was puking all evening! I screamed at them! I just couldn't go home after all these hours and mental and physical exhaustion! Finally at 4pm they took me to theatre! And finally discharge me at 8pm! I'm so exhausted and frustrated and in bits about the whole situation, words just failing me. But it's done now. Time to move on. And have my ducks in a row about the next plan of action. Have already some thoughts which need to process/digest and then act once ready. But this is not over yet! Thank you for all your lovely messages! Means a lot! 🤗🤗

Sorry today didn't go as smoothly as you hoped @Russkispy look after your self x x

@Russkispy Sorry today was harder than it needed to be. Hope you're being well looked after. Will they send the baby's remains and other pregnancy tissue for analysis?

@Laney79 Well done you for getting through your consultation/scan!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue and @frillyfarmer Congratulations on the BFPs, my fingers are tightly crossed for both your pregnancies.

Sorry for all the ladies I haven't mentioned personally, you really are a wonderful bunch. x

As for me, I went for another trial consult with another clinic, this time they recommended prednisolone but not clexane. Like the doctor we saw on Tuesday, this one also thinks our issues are more likely down to uterine environment than embryo/egg quality. One more clinic to visit in just over a week before we make our decision.

@TinyPaws yes they will! Although the consultant said I might not get the results!? Wtf! I insisted on having them back. For my own peace of mind! So told them to keep me posted otherwise they'll be seeing me there every day till they get my results to me! Wtf is wrong with these people! Sorry about the rant! Fuming here!

Sorry some of you have had difficult days and fingers crossed that the positives stick

I actually had a nice day. I felt like going shopping so went out for much of the day shopping on my own. Bought a few things like some new shoes and a few tops and some other bits like candles and chocolate and I enjoyed it. Not a massive thing but it seems like so long since I went shopping for myself and I felt like myself again

X

@Laney79 my scan actually went well! There was a heartbeat and it measured at 6+3. I'm completely shocked, I didn't think it could possibly be ok with a red bleed but fingers crossed it actually sticks this time! I have a fibroid apparently which is probably where the bleed came from.
I'm glad you made it through your investigations.

That's great news @Beaglemum93 really pleased for you.

@Russkispy that sounds like an awful day, and not very caring either especially from your consultant. It's your baby, your results! I'd be ranting too. Big hugs. Hope you got a decent nights sleep.

@TinyPaws it's mad how different each one of the clinics are! It just proves how little evidence there is in the field of infertility and miscarriage - the research and understanding is definitely in its infancy in relation to other areas of medicine.

@AliceRR sounds like a lovely day -glad it made you feel good.

Well. News from me. AF is due over the weekend and I was feeling distinctly AF-ish with some crampy feelings over the past couple of days. As I said the dr who did my scan yesterday said he couldn't tell if I was pregnant or not... Well it turns out I am! Frer this morning at 12dpo (my usual luteal phase is 12/13 days). I'm petrified but over the moon. I just hope that this one is healthy and sticky. OH says third time lucky...I hope he's right.

I hope everyone has a better day today been thinking of you all. Can you guys give me your opinion on my frer's. The faint on is from Wednesday and the other from this morning. I'm scared not to believe it after hearing frer can give false positives but it's not coming up on any other brand test this strong.

This is the two together today top yellowing one is from Wednesday

@Laney79 thank you! And massive congratulations! Fingers crossed!

@Beaglemum93 congratulations on your happy news

@Laney79 this is fantastic news! So pleased that going down the IVF route has triggered Murphy's law for you. Fingers crossed for a healthy and happy nine months

As for me I'm coming to the end of cycle 20 now TTC#1 and don't think it's happening this month, surprise surprise. Starting to think I should just give up on having kids and move on with my life because I can't go on feeling like this for years to come.

@Russkispy I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience, hope you get lots of rest

Omg @Laney79! That's amazing 🎉 congratulations. Fingers crossed for 3rd time lucky 🍀

@Daisyboo70 Today's is slightly darker. I wonder if you had late implantation? If you're getting positives on other tests too, albeit faint, that's a good sign 🤞

Congratulations @Beaglemum93 :)

Sorry you're not feeling hopeful this month @strawberrye, I hope you're wrong x

This thread is giving me hope that it will happen for me. Only cd3 but want to start feeling positive. Have a good day everyone x

Great news Beaglemum93, congratulations laney79. I've not used those but look positive to me Daisy

Glad you had a good day yesterday @AliceRR.

I got a much more convincing positive this morning, feeling excited and terrified in equal measure this morning.

Wow so many BFPs! Congrats @Laney79, @Daisyboo70 and @Bluebelltulip!

Congratulations to all those with BFPs, lovely news x fingers crossed for sticky ones x

@Russkispy I am so sorry to hear your news. Huge, huge hugs. xxx

@strawberrye The postgraduate diploma sounds very distracting indeed... but possibly not the best reduced-stress option! Well done you though; how's that going?
I'd love to get a bit more green-fingered. I just need to get off my bum and do it! I did plant an onion which sprouted a while back and it's now flowering so I should be able to plant its seeds now and grow more onions! That's quite exciting!
How are things going for you Stawberrye? (Edit: Just seen your second message about wanting to give up. I totally understand how you feel. But don't lose hope. Hugs xxx)

@moonpeace That's really interesting. I've wondered if I have an overly keen womb as I got pregnant 5 times in 8 cycles... I guess it's not a bad thing getting pregnant easily, but it is if the embryos aren't viable; it's such a toll on your mental health! (And fluctuating hormones). I've been getting acupuncture for 8 months now; and generally looking after my body and mind. Hopefully the next one is a sticky one! I hope so for you too!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm really pleased you're getting a scan. Best of luck. xxx

@frillyfarmer thinking of you and hoping for the best. Stay strong xxx

@Laney79 Well done for getting through the scan. Sounds like you did really well. xx
And OMG! Congrats on the BFP!!! I really hope this is third time lucky!! xxx

@Beaglemum93 Wonderful news! Congrats! xxx

@Daisyboo70 Fingers crossed for you that everything is progressing. xxx

@Bluebelltulip Congrats! xxx

Really lovely to hear people's good news today. I hope everyone has a lovely day and enjoy the bank holiday weekend.
I'll be picking up my prescription tomorrow... Don't think I've ever been excited about going to the pharmacy before! Haha!

In other news my vitamin D levels are back and they are now 126! So something I did must have worked.

Congrats on the BFPs @Laney79
@Daisyboo70 @Bluebelltulip

Hope you’re ok @frillyfarmer @Russkispy

How are you feeling @MyHeartIsBrokenButIhaveSomeGlue

Hope everyone else is ok

Congratulations on all the BFPs! I hope you're right @Laney79 - 3rd time lucky 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

I've bled a lot overnight and HPT this morning was almost completely negative, so hopefully this MC doesn't drag on for as long as the last one.

I'm meant to be at lunch today with my friend who is 10weeks. I've just cancelled and I'm ignoring her calls. I'm the worst friend ever but I'm just so unbelievably hurt and pissed off that I'm having this run of shit.

So sorry @frillyfarmer. I think you're completely reasonable to cancel. Is it worth going to see your GP? If nothing else at least there will be a record of this pregnancy.

@TinyPaws yes I went to my GP yesterday, I've been bleeding since Wednesday.

I just got the impression that because I've got a live child, the attitude is that there is no issue and I'm just unlucky. I mean, I hope I have just been unlucky and it's third time lucky for me, but I need some assurance because I don't want to go through this a third time.

@Beaglemum93 really pleased your scan went well, you must be so relieved.
@russkispy sorry that you had a rough time at the hospital, especially being nil by mouth all day. Glad you didn't have to stay overnight and you are recovering.
@daisyboo70 I think your lines look fine, they aren't faint. Would it help if you took a digital in a day or so to see the word "pregnant"?
@alicerr glad you had a good day, you deserve it.
@strawberrye I know how you feel. With the combination of infertility and miscarriages I wonder if I will ever get to hold my own baby. It's always harder at the end of a cycle but you will feel better in a few days when all the rubbish pms symptoms ease off.
@knitkitty super impressed you managed to grow an onion, all of my plants have died! Exciting that you are back ttc. It will be your turn soon.
@bluebelltulip eek, exciting. Congrats!
@tinypaws great news about the vitamin d levels. Interesting what the various ivf clinics have told you. I'm curious to see what our NHS ivf consultant says after I have the rmc appointment in July.
@laney79 so thrilled for you! I really hope this is third time lucky. We both were in that "unlucky" percentage of suffering two mmc in a row and about to embark ivf, so it gives me so much hope to see your news! I always felt, despite you being concerned about certain test results, that you would conceive again. EVERYTHING crossed!
@frillyfarmer glad the bleeding is easing off. What a rotten time you have had. Absolutely the right thing to do to cancel your friend. You need to put yourself first.