TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

Also a quick straw poll if no-one minds... did anyone struggle to find any sensible information about miscarriage online? Other that Mumsnet people of course! I left the hosp after ERPC and no real support tbh (other than lovely friends and family) x

Also hugs to everyone and for the newbies i'm sorry for your losses xxx

@ikphillips I found info on here to be very helpful. https ://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Also I found that my normal 28 day cycle started the day after the bleeding stopped from my MC x

Thank you @Raincart2017 - really helpful site.

Reading back through all the posts in this thread I'm crying like a baby. So much loss and yet such strong women! So much respect to you all x

Hi @ikphillips - don't mind at all! It was 26 days after erpc, my normal cycle is 28 or 29 days so not far off for me although I know it can vary. It's been a fairly normal period in terms of length, bleeding and pain and I am thankful for that as it's
I am sorry for your loss - I imagine our experience was fairly similar - so awful thinking you are carrying a healthy baby for more than a month only to find it is not the case!

Thanks for all the messages ladies xxx

Sorry to see so many new names on here.

@InDreamland how are you doing? Any news?

@Mistymeow also meant to ask how you're getting on?

Thanks for asking @frillyfarmer I’m doing ok, still no sign of af. This is a very long luteal phase for me (16 days) but I guess things can go whacky whilst the hormones settle down. How are you feeling? I may test again in a few days.

@Mistymeow you're being very restrained with the testing! Fingers crossed it's a bean and not a long LP!

I'm not great, had some brown discharge when I wiped this morning. Will just have to see how it plays out.

@Lilimum6 keeping 🤞 for you.

@AliceRR it's fine, I k ow what you meant and it is shit for all of us. Just having a down few days again. I just feel like DH and I have failed and I cannot accept a future without us having a child. I so badly want to have a baby I can bring home and see grow up and do all the wonderful things I had hopes and dreams of.

@Mistymeow @moonpeace thanks for your positivity. I need a kick I think.

@Frillyfarmer I'm holding out on testing, gonna wait for AF to show tomorrow. Show come on tomorrow going by my 12 day LP. I'm so muddled at the moment, I really desperately want a BFP but I know if I get one then I'll most likely be looking at mc#3 soon after. How are you feeling today?

Oh congratulations @beaglemum and @frillyfarmer really lovely to hear your news!. Stay positive, it’s not easy to face into pregnancy again and more than happy for PM chat if it would help as you go through these stages. The pregnancy forums can be a difficult space to be in when you’ve had mc.

@raincart you have a second oestrogen surge after ov but before af so it could be that which doesn’t link to pregnancy or not. But yes, you do get leukarriah in pregnancy which is caused by left over hormone production. In a way it’s a good sign, you could be pregnant, or you are having a healthy cycle. Keep us posted.

Sorry lots to catch up on and still getting to read new joiner posts. Sorry to see you here.

Someone mentioned age, there is def a preference to assume ‘bad eggs’ if your older, but for the record I’m now 40 and have been pregnant 4 times in 16 months , it was an undiagnosed condition that likely caused my mcs which is now being treated and I approach the third trimester on no.4. For some of You struggling for longer its really good to see tests proving useful (@ indreamland) and understanding more.

We have to keep ourselves positive, healthy and in good mental wellbeing too xx

@yukka great advice, thanks for sharing. So glad everything is progressing well for you.
@indreamland well done for holding out. The idea of having a bfp after dealing with miscarriage and infertility is so hard, but you are doing amazingly well. Many women would have given up by now. You are far more resilient than you think you are :)
@frillyfarmer thanks, i do have a frer with me (I’m on holiday) but I just don’t think it’s going to be positive and my body is confused. Sorry to hear you have brown spotting, it’s always a bit scary even though it could well be nothing. It could well be some breakthrough bleeding which I had with both my pregnancies (and wasn’t connected to my miscarriages). I hope it stops soon and it’s just your uterus having a clear out for the little one.

Feeling very confused today. Last cycle I had a 'normal' period after 23 days (normal prior to DD2 was 26 days). Now on cd10, was sick this morning and did a test to rule it out as we are visiting family this weekend (very much looking forward to a working bathroom). It came up with a feint but definitely there positive! Will test again in a few days, I'm so confused and don't feel I trust it yet.

@InDreamland I'm crossing my fingers for you.

@Yukka That's really kind thank you. I think I'm going to try back away from the internet for the next few weeks so as not to drive myself mad. Glad to hear your pregnancy is progressing well, I agree the ante natal groups are often batshit, but on the flip side I'm still regularly in contact with a lot of ladies from DC1.

@Mistymeow Thank you, hopefully you get to enjoy your holiday and the weather, even if you're still in that shitty limbo time.

I haven't had anything else since this morning and I bled quite a lot with DC1 so I'm ok for now.

@moonpeace yes I’m in Aspirin daily and injected heparin daily until 14 weeks. Get decision soon if I’ll go back on heparin for 3rd trimester xx

@Yukka You are so right about trying to be positive.

I’m still having my down days too @InDreamland. There are other bits going on with DH health wise (minor but that affect us dtd and he doesn’t want to see the go again) and that gives me another reason to worry about never being a mother to a living child

@Bluebelltulip fingers crossed for you 🤞

And everyone else still holding out for a BFP this cycle

Hope everyone has a nice bank hol weekend

I meant see the gp

@bluebelltulip fingers crossed for you, hope you get a nice strong bfp in a few days xx

@alicerr you are so strong, I can’t even begin to perceive full term loss at all. I’ve had a work colleague whose wife had full term stillborn at Christmas and I just admire how well they are coping, and starting to plan for the future with hope. Hopefully you are too? Are you having counselling etc I hope you’re getting all the support you need x

Sorry for the indulgent post but it’s 18dpo and still no af. I had a bfn at 14dpo so don’t really expect a positive now. Do you think FF got my O day right? I only temp to confirm ovulation and stop as soon as I have crosshairs. Is it just my hormones imbalanced as it’s the first cycle since the erpc? I was expecting a long cycle but not a long luteal phase. I feel cramps and some progesterone symptoms but no bleed :(

@Mistymeow it could be day 23 so a 16 day LP wouldn't be out of the realms of normal. If it's any consolation my cycle after my two back to back miscarriages is very difficult to understand. Day 33 and no ovulation yet. I think a loss can really mess with hormones. I hope you get answers soon! Xx

Well AF arrived as soon as I got up this morning bang on time ....... so I've done a double gym class this morning and then bought some paté for lunch, treat on sourdough toast. Also started my antibiotics to treat the bacterial infection DH and I both have that apparently according to DH's urologist affects his sperm DNA which is linked to mc's.

@AliceRR sorry to pry and of course you don't have to answer but does his medical issue affect his swimmers too or just ability to DTD at the moment? Hopefully he'll be able to DTD soon. After what you've been through you really (we all) deserve a living baby to bring home and watch grow up.

@Mistymeow thank you. I don't feel resilient at all but nice to hear others think I am.I think as it's your first cycle since ERPC it's likely your hormones are all over the place. It can take a while to settle down.

@Bluebelltulip fx it is a clear BFP next time you test.

Hi ladies. Got a BFN on FRER this morning, 10-11 DPO so that's probably me out this month.

Enjoy the long weekend if you can x

@Yukka Thank you. I think really we don’t have a choice other than to carry on but I am hopeful and I find ways to keep Ruby part of my life

@moonpeace Yes I hope so. He went once and that was hard as I think he was embarrassed (he v rarely goes to the gp) so hopefully he can do it again!

@InDreamland It’s just dtd I think. Sorry if this is tmi but it’s a foreskin issue and he is worried he might need to be circumcised effectively which is obviously a scary thought for him and I’m worried it’s something that mean we can’t dtd for ages (maybe months?)

I’ve mentioned we haven’t dtd and this was largely because I didn’t feel ready after having the baby and just having a lot on but now this issue of his seems to have got worse... 🙄

So now I’d like to try to dtd to make sure we can but think he needs to see the gp. Last time he was given some kind of topical cream but it seems to be worse.