TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 29 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's!

[Laney79]

Hey ladies, we were nearing the limit on thread 28 so here's a new one.

Roll Call...

Name: Laney79
Age: 39
TTC: #1 since autumn 2017.
2 losses - MMC discovered March 2018, MMC discovered Sept 2018 both at what should've been 9 weeks, bean and bow measured 6 weeks.

@Lilimum6 @Russkispy @Catconfusion @Boboelephant @fnej01 please tag and pass on!

Can I join?
TTC #1
Age 37 (very nearly 38)
MMC diagnosed at 8 weeks and had an ERPC 2 days ago
Feeling pretty hopeless

@Yukka I meant to say as well yes we are having counselling. My employer is really good and is paying for counselling for both of us. My husband’s employer has not been so good and he has left so he had some time to recover and we have some time together (I’m on maternity leave) which is good in a way x

@AliceRR how is the counselling going? DP and I are due to start bereavement counselling soon too.

@Squiff70 It’s ok. It’s good to have someone to talk to. It’s treated as “couples counselling” because we’re seeing the counsellor together. It has helped us to talk about what we both need right now as we are both dealing differently with Ruby’s death. We also have some differences because my DH has children from a previous relationship and it is causing some tension as I’ve just lost my only child and he hasn’t and also meanwhile I’m worrying I’ll never have a living child and I feel alone in that. So it’s difficult for us but I’m hoping the counselling will help. We’ve only had two sessions so far so it is early. We’ve been to a couple of Sands meetings too

@AliceRR I'm glad it's going as well as these things can. I understand that your DP has surviving children from another relationship and how hard that must be for you. I really hope the counselling can help x

@alicerr glad to hear it’s helping so far, you’re feelings must be very complex right now. I don’t know if you’ve considered it but I started acupuncture last year as something to help sort out my cycles after third loss but it actually helped me emotionally much more than I even thought it could. If not done it before but went in with an open mind and I’m so glad I did. Still going now. Just a thought x

Sorry to see you here @bee222 and sorry for your loss. Don’t lose hope there are lots of positive stories here and a string group of women to help you through the bad days xx

strong not string

Hey ladies

Sorry for the silence from my end. It’s been quite a week. I’ve ended up having huge amounts of stress due to the nightmare that is the health system. I’ve had the wrong birthday on blood forms, oh’s referral for a sperm test returned by the assessment service saying it has to be In my name, and then to top it off I was told my nhs fertility referal had been cancelled on the system and no reason why...which bearing in mind the deadline I have of starting ivf by 24th July was devastating. Thankfully I chased it up and spoke to a very helpful secretary who has sorted it out for me, and we think we’ve got the sperm test sorted too but they really do not make it easy!! It feels like some kind of endurance test, how much do we really want this and how much s**t can we take before we crack!

As a result of the probs the issue of fertile week and the sperm analysis is no longer an issue! Thanks for asking though @yukka -got My first flashing smiley today so hoping we can give things a good try over the coming days.

Also has another day3 test but done on day 4..my oestradiol is way too high for day three (729 pmol/l this time 798 pmol/l) FSH is higher than it was when I did the first day3 test (8.7 v 4.91) so I’m thinking my hormones are screwed. My oestradiol is three times higher than it should be at that stage of my cycle. I’m a bit worried that maybe that is what’s caused my losses. I’ve Always assumed my progesterone was ok as I had two missed miscarriages and my body wouldn’t let go but now I’m not so sure. My progesterone test (the 21st day test which was 7 days after ov) was 29.4 nmol/l which is borderline to prove ovulation. AF did arrive as expected 7 days after the test. So now worrying that hormones have caused my mc’s and will stop me from catching/having ivf...arghhh

Welcome to the new joiners, sorry you find yourselves here. And sorry not to reply to all -lost track a little with all the stress, and general life stuff. Hugs and baby dust to all.

Oh and lovely to see your news @frillyfarmer fingers crossed for a sticky one! and @Bluebelltulip hope you get a more definitive answer soon
Xxx

Happy Easter weekend all. I gave up chocolate and booze for Lent... boy am I glad that's over.

Quick q - I had my op on 8th March. Had one (albeit strange) period since. OPKs showed strong positive on Thurs, so DTD and still getting stringy discharge after sex with blood in it (gross, sorry!)... did anyone else find this?

Assuming this is a positive? Not used these before.

Hi @sophied1983, yes it's definitely a strong positive. You should get the bleeding checked out by a doctor though.

Thanks @catconfusion that’s what I thought. Still no af! I’ll see where I’m at on Tuesday, might do another test then. How are you doing?
@indreamland I hope my hormones settle and I don’t have a repeat of last year with crazy cycles. Sorry af arrived but glad you are both getting treatment- fingers crossed for this cycle.
@bee222 sorry for your loss. It will feel so raw right now. I hope you have good support. It does get easier, I promise. Give yourself plenty of time to recover.
@laney79 what a pain, but glad it’s getting sorted. No idea what those hormone levels mean but I’m sure the consultant can explain at your next appointment.

Happy Easter everyone! I’m looking forward to sunshine and devouring an almighty Easter egg :p

@bee222, sorry for your loss, I also had a mmc at 8 weeks but my erpc was a month ago now so I'm just a bit ahead of you. For me, I have felt much better with time, I hope you find it's the same for you.

Good plan @Mistymeow and good luck. I'm doing ok thanks just now having the cycle from hell after my mmc and chemical. I'm on day 34 with two failed ovulations. It's so frustrating! I love DH but I'm so tired of dtd after my three week fertile period. If it's anovulatory I just want AF to come. I've ovulated this late before so hoping it will come. DH has his SA this week so I'm going to book in with the Gp so we can get results and hopefully get a cd3 blood test for me when AF finally comes. I have a history of pcos so just hoping the miscarriages haven't made me symptomatic again! Xx

Hope everyone is finding time to relax or do something nice over the Easter weekend 🐣

Well ladies I'm out this cycle for sure. Opks started to get darker two days ago so I started testing 2x a day and they got dark but not positive yesterday but back to pale again by 10pm last night. My cbfm has not found a peak just highs. So now I have to wait for I don't know how long for AF to show up. I hate not knowing when to expect it. Last time I had an anovulation cycle it was 5 1/2 weeks long it drove me insane. Also my last cycle looks like my progesterone was very low too. Not sure I ovulated then either. I've attached my chart so if any one has any insight please let me know what you think 🤔

@Laney79 hope your OK hun. I'm starting to think I might have the same problems as you hun. But will have wait and see what Mr sizer says at my appointment mext month x

Hi everyone, hope everyone is as ok as they can be.
@Laney79 sorry to read you're having a hard time.
I'm still not tracking and feeling good about it, about to be in my fertile window, I know this without tracking haha. But going to go with the flow and not put too much pressure on myself

@lilimum6 very difficult but looks like your body geared up to ovulate but didn’t quite manage. It may well try again but can understand your frustration (I’m going through similar!) Sorry if you already said but have you had your day 21 levels checked?
@catconfusion sorry you’re having a tough cycle, it’s a real bugger after what you’ve been through. But glad you are getting things investigated. I think I’ve worked out what’s going on. No af and my temp is now at pre-ovulation levels. Fertile cm and cramps, plus an almost positive opk makes me think my body is gearing up again to ovulate. Cd 40

Massively panicked today because I found a small hard lump in my breast. I was very scared and had visions of me attending the breast clinic and getting bad news. But the lump has now gone so I think it must be hormone fluctuations. Has anyone else had this?

@Mistymeow it's looking like a case of snap. I just got a peak Opk today cd 35. DH has his sperm analysis tomorrow so it is typical but we managed to dtd yesterday morning so might be covered. I just hope O happens for us both. Then I have a 17 luteal phase to get through.

Are you getting any other O symptoms? It makes sense it's come later than usual. Fingers crossed! Xx

@Mistymeow hope an expert can shed some light-seems it's most likely either premature ovarian failure or a cyst of some kind from what dr google throws up. Sorry your body is still throwing curveballs, we really do go through the mill with this stuff. Feels bloomin unfair.

@Catconfusion sounds tough for you too my lovely. DTD deffo loses some of its joy when going through losses like you have. I really hope your body settles soon lovely. Definitely push for the day three testing and maybe a day 21 progesterone test too? Hope all goes well for you guys tomorrow with the SA test.

@AliceRR how has Easter been for you lovely? Hope you have managed to have a good weekend.

@Lilimum6 Sounds like your body is struggling chick. It's so frustrating not knowing what's going on. Feel for you. Have you had day3 hormone tests done? Or day 21 progesterone? Might be worth asking for those (I paid privately through medichecks for the first set of day3 tests-was about £70 I think). I've also just had my AMH tested, waiting on results. Good luck with mr sizer-he's the local recurrent miscarriage specialist so hope he can help you.

Well-I think my body is playing tricks again -had first flashy high fertility sat morning, did cheapie opks later that arvo and before bed but no sign of a positive-but Sunday I got a peak on clear blue and a positive cheapie with fmu! -and my temp went up! So I guess my body must ovulate as the surge starts, rather than the 24-36 hrs later for most women. Have attached my chart -any experts in interpretation? Welcome any thoughts!! Thankfully DTD Thursday eve and when I got home yesterday so fingers crossed we're in with a chance. Another short cycle for me though-ov cd10 so likely a 23 day cycle. Got to see the consultant tomorrow as a result of my chasing last week. Bricking it as I have to go solo (oh is at work and couldn't get time off at such short notice) -my medical phobia is such a bloody battle on top of everything else. 🙄😔

@moonpeace sorry lovely, missed your post. On the oestradiol -Only dr google really-but it doesn't appear like a good thing! From what I've seen my ovaries are knackered or I have a cyst...see what the consultant says tomorrow-hopefully get my AMH results tomorrow.?

@ale2992 sounds blissful to not track! Wish I could not but my obsessive control freakery won't let me! Xxx

@Laney79 I have a cyst hun on my left ovary, it hurts like hell on the run up to ovulation but I feel nothing after ovulation. Dr Collcot told me at epas that they don't worry about them if you have two ovaries and it under 3 cm. He said it doesn't effect ovulation.
@Mistymeow and @moonpeace I will be asking for every test under the sun when I go for my appointment on 14th

@AliceRR that sounds painful. Hopefully he gets it seen to soon. I feel that hurt of losing my 2 babies (although not as far along as you were) and worrying about never having a living child. I don't have any step children though so DH is in the same situation as me although men process it differently. Hope your counselling does help.

@Mistymeow thank you. I haven't had a lump but please go see your GP, you cannot be too careful about these things.

@Laney79 fx for you this cycle.

@Lilimum6 I agree with Laney79, it might be worth getting checks done although maybe it is just taking a few months to settle down.

I'm CD4 and AF is almost non existent now. That's another lighter and shorter AF all since MC#2. Think my body has given up now. I am also finding myself feeling sick and really upset when people I know are all happy with their perfect families and talk about it almost feeling like they're rubbing my nose in it. I hate this feeling. Just feel like noone understands what I'm going through and just make out it's not important and I should just forget and get over it.