Over 40 ttc- lots of baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

hmmm123: 41 (42 in spring!) 1 dc ttc #2 6 months ish
Rose68: 43, 2 DS 9 and 6, 1mmc, ttc #3
chatbash72: 46, 2ds 21,19,17,8,5
2 mmc(9wks,6wks) 2cp ttc 2.5 yrs
Russkispy: 42 (43 this April). 1 DD. TTC#2. 1mmc. 2 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF, no frosties
Minime2017: 41 ttc#1, 1cp, 1mc, ttc 2.5 yrs
Karryk: 41, 1cp, 2mmc (5.5wks, 8wks), 1dd (17 mths old), ttc#2, 1mc (6.5wks)
Realitysucks:40 (41 in 17 days) ttc#2, 1mc (5.5wks), 1DS (16), TTC cycle 5
KateyA: 40, ttc#1 (1 frosty), cycle
Karigan195 41 1DS 1mc April 2018. Pregnant 5+4 today 3.1,19
Littlemimosa age 42, 2DC 5&7, ttc too long!
Cleozeta, 41, 2dc, ttc #3 for nearly 2 years. 1 mmc at 10 wks, 1 cp
Onemorego2019 - age 40, DS 15, DD 10 & DS 3 ttc#4 Dec 2018
ZoeRoma, 41, 1st month TTC#2, DS aged 4 months
Crittertamer: Turned 41 last week! No DC, currently (as of 3.1.19) 15+5 pregnant with twins following second IVF cycle.,
Gizmojo: 44, DS (18 months), 1 mmc, ttc#2 4 months
Letsdothis43: 43 TTC#1 ttc for 2 years first IVF cycle in January/2019
Booseysmom: 46. 47 in Feb. 1 DS 5. Ttc #2 3 years
SparrowSG: 44 in April, 1 DS 2 from IVF 2016. 1 ectopic 2014. Currently BFP @ almost 8wks
Olivia12: 43. 44 in September, 1 DD 10yo, ttc #2 with DP, 1 month
Floofsquidge: 40. No DC, currently 20 +5 pg as at 9th Jan.
Taxgirl: 43 (44 in April). 1 DS (March 2017) ttc #2 for 1 year - 3 mc and 1 mmc

Hi all and congratulations to everyone with BFPs and recent births.

@letsdothis good luck and fingers crossed for you!

@Cleozetta don’t give up yet! Give it a few more months really! We don’t want you to go as we are all rooting for you! As you’ve always told me there is so much support here for you. I really hope you are ok and if it’s all getting too much then just take a short break and come back when you need. X

Morning everyone. Just wondering, for those who have been pregnant before, did you manage to dtd every month during your fertile period in the months leading up to/before you got your bfp or were there some months not?

I am so sick with myself for messing up my dates this month due to stupid opks and unpredictable ovulation. I think this is the first month this has knowingly happened to me and not sure how it affects my chances. Can it be normal to miss a month and still go on to conceive in a decent amount of time? I just wish the next 10 days will go so that i can re-set. At least dh is fully on board now following this. Although i don't know how easier it will be next month as noone can completely predict!!

Thanks, sorry I'm going on a bit just getting angry with myself.

Hi @Snowie3 - don't beat yourself up - it's one month. I don't know how long you've been trying, but to be honest after trying for 4 years now for a sibling we have had a few months where we hadn't tried (mostly directly after miscarriage) and to e honest I found it a bit f a relief as at least I didn't get my hopes up for 10 days.. but that's possibly just me!
When we were trying for my DS (now 5) we weren't using Opks etc to being with and it turns out that we were almost certainly too late each month - once i started using them we realised I ovulated quite early (cd9 usually) and my period was usually 7 days long - so a short window! Once we have realised that we needed to be on it from the moment my period finished we actually conceived in 3 months. Had been 8 months of nothing before that! If you know for sure you've missed it, i'd just enjoy a few glasses of wine guilt free and try to not worry x

Sorry for my awful typing - hope that makes sense!

@snowie3 like Hobbes39 says don’t beat yourself up about it. oPKs are expensive, but depending how long you have been on them I suppose it’s a preference. i am on clear blue advanced and am buying the expensive ones purely for the fact I want to be sure. I only started in November but I want to get a clear picture of my cycles before I change. I’m not very good with interpreting CM and pains from ovulation and we struggle as it is with DTD so for us it is the best thing.

In respect of panicking about timing on egg life, no test can be clear. Yes the egg onky lives for 12 hours but if you get two peak days then it’s bound to be in that timeframe. The first month I had no LH surge. Last month it was on day 19 when I tested at 7 am so we dtd that night at 7pm and the next day another peak. We had dtd 5 days before as well. Still no joy but sooner or later you will hit the spot.

As for me I’m on my precuycle treatment. We are not allowed to risk pregnancy and it’s frustrating as now I’m on day two of high so knowing it’s coming and we can’t take advantage of it is frustrating. However I’m still testing everyday so I can build up a picture of my cycles. Next month I won’t test as will be on stims so it is likely to interfere with results.

I gave up on opks. They were expensive and took the fun out of it all. We found our sex life becoming a bit stale. I got pregnant literally just having sex when I wanted sex. Usually your ‘desire’ increases when you’re fertile anyway. I was monitoring using cm which worked just as well.

@Realitysucks - I haven't read back fully - are you on injections yet? Once you are don't bother with tracking cycle as it will be taken over by the drugs so it's more stress that it's worth..!
Also @Snowie3 - reading your post before - if you dtd on the day of your surge, that is good - the surge is before ovulation - in fact I've been told before that I'm older ladies it can take a wee bit longer from peak surge to actual egg release.
I'm not sure it's totally transferable to naturally trying, but in ivf you take a trigger shot (which is a similar thing to an LH surge) and they collect the eggs 35 hours later from the follicles - so the way I see it, it's def still worth dtd up to 2 even 3 days after the surge. X

@Snowie3 we've been doing the bare minimum to be honest! The most times I've ever dtd and had a bfp is twice my husband works funny shifts and is also now at the age where he can't do consecutive days or even a few times in a week The fact I've still managed to get preggo reassured me that I didn't need to worry about dtd all the way through the fertile week. And I'm sure some of them were after what I suspected to be ovulation day...I did try to aim for a day before but can't always tell as I don't use sticks. Just temperature and cf.

@Hobbes39 no not yet. I have a saline infusion and scratch on 23 jan. next cycle due date is 4th Feb so stims will be started day 1-3 as long as scans are favourable.

We started ttc in September but have gone straight to ivf as my AMH was 4 and I’m 41 this week so don’t really want to waste more time trying and risking lower AMH. Plus I wants scans etc to make sure all ok in there. I’ve had endometriosis since I was 17 whilst no symptoms since initial treatment just hoping ovaries are not all shrivelled like walnuts 😬

Hi ladies, I’m bleeding a lot more than what I think it’s implantation bleeding 😔 and it’s becoming red, not pink or brown.
But I don’t understand how it’s possible I’m getting my period so early!!!! It’s day 22! And usually my cycle is at least 31 days. Feeling really upset and not understanding if this is my period or not.
I’m going to try and not let it get to me but it’s so frustrating....

Olivia - it does sound early for AF. How long is your LP usually? How many DPO do you think you are?

@olivia12, it does sound a little early... do you know when you ovulated? And do you know what cd you normally ovulate on and how long your LP is? Also, are you taking anything that could affect your cycles? x

Thank you Rose68 and littlemimosa, I think I’m 6 DPO and I’m not sure how long my LP is as I have come off the pill in October so I don’t have many cycles to calculate correctly but I should be due on the 25th January.
Maybe it’s just too early after coming off the pill to have regular ovulations/periods? It was the mini pill and doctor said it’s quicker to get back to normal than the regular pill.
Who knows 🤷‍♀️.... I guess I just have to wait and see...hope you are both ok

I’m not taking anything that could affect my cycles I think, no medication at all, just the supplements/vitamins

Good afternoon.....
Thank you for all your kind comments and support after my strop the other day. Sorry about that. Cd1 - you know how it is
Feeling very disheartened with lp shortening and also been having night sweats this week which does not bode well. I called the clinic yesterday to try and get my appointment brought forward but they wouldn't do it, saying that the hycosy could be done on cd18 as previously booked I just wouldn't be allowed to dtd before hand. Couldn't be bothered to argue that I'm turning 42 next month and dkn't have time to waste, as I really do think it's a bit pointless now, but I'll hear them out on 31st and see what, if anything, they can advise.

Hmmm - sorry you are facing the same lp issues, have you been taking anything new or doing anything different? Hows things looking now? Has af arrived yet?

Gizmojo - I use the cbfm, it doesn't matter when you start, or stop testing. It says you must start of a certain day and do minimum of 10 sticks, but at over £1 per stick, sod that. I use cheapo's until the line gets darker then usw cbfm the day after until 1st peak then stop. I only usually use 3 or 4 a month, ig complains and flashes at you but doesn't explode.

Keepingthefaith - congratulations! Thank you for coming back to let us know, super happy for you. Faith is the word!

Good luck to those doing IVF this week, fingers crossed for you.

Olivia - if it is af it may just be an off cycle. Maybe you ovulated earlier than you thought?

Hope everyone is well

Thanks for the advice, @cleozeta. I’ll give it a go and see what happens. Good idea re combining with the cheapies. I’m with you re short LP and night sweats. Weirdly I’ve noticed they happen on nights when my bbt is really low in the morning? Very odd. Got an appt with the GP to discuss it Monday

@snowie3 we only dtd every other day (and - tmi - sometimes oh doesn’t even, Er, “finish”) and we took a month off after my mmc but got my bfp two months after that and I was 42 then, so try not to worry about a month off x

@olivia12 does seem very early, maybe it’s just a fluke month. Sorry you’re going through it.

Lots of luck to all with ivf this week x

Gizmojo - how long is your lp? Do your night sweats happen at a particular time in the cycle or every night? Will be interesting to hear what your gp says, can you let us know?

@olivia12 6dpo does seem very early, are you sure of when you ovulated? I think it’s more normal for the bit before ovulation to vary in length than the bit after. It might be worth getting your progesterone checked. It’s usually done in the middle of your LP, which for most people is around day 21.

@Cleo Yay! It’s good to have you back! I have also been thinking about not carrying on, I’m looking at all the chocolate and Prosecco in my house and really struggling not to consume them. It really is such hard work and pretty soul destroying this ttc lark, but I’m determined to give it a little bit more time.

@cleozeta they’ve been getting worse over the last two or three months. I’ve only been recording for a few weeks but had them since during my luteal phase and af and getting less frequent and severe for the past week since ended but, as I say, the nights I’ve had them since af arrived, my bbt has been noticeably low (between 36 and about 36.3 - my cover line is 36.4). I’ll let you know but getting quite worried about it

Rose - I'm having the chocolate and prosecco anyway. Sod it!

Gizmojo - have you had fsh tested yet? I think sadly for us over 40's perimenopause symptoms can kick in now, even though they could potentially go on for another 10 years before actual menopause, so it's not necessarily the end quite yet. What are your concerns?

Cleo - no haven’t had it tested yet, I’m guessing the gp might suggest that. I guess I am just worried as for almost a year after DS was born once my periods came back they were actually more regular and normal than they’ve ever been but for the past six months it’s been all over the place and since we’ve been ttc I’ve onviously been a lot more aware of stuff like LP, my bbt is a lot lower than it used to be, the night sweats etc. At 44 I’m wondering if we’ve already missed what was our last chance

Cleo - no haven’t had it tested yet, I’m guessing the gp might suggest that. I guess I am just worried as for almost a year after DS was born once my periods came back they were actually more regular and normal than they’ve ever been but for the past six months it’s been all over the place and since we’ve been ttc I’ve onviously been a lot more aware of stuff like LP, my bbt is a lot lower than it used to be, the night sweats etc. At 44 I’m wondering if we’ve already missed what was our last chance

Whoops! Not sure how that posted twice and so far apart!

Olivia. I had bleeding on day 22 a few cycles ago and also got all excited about implantation bleeding but by day 23 it was definitely a period. My cycles are more like 25-28 days but it was a one off fluke. Sorry if it's happened to you. I think TTC stress maybe caused mine.

Just a couple of questions for the knowledgable ones here!
Firstly, my DH is away from CD8 to CD15 this cycle. Could not be worse timing and I'm upset. Does anyone know if its possible to ovulate a few days before or after your EWCM days? I've found when i do OPKs that they do roughly coincide with EWCM. I know when I see the EW while he's away it's going to make me feel hopeless.
And also, if this is a missed opportunity what can I do to make progress this month regardless? Anything healthwise etc? I can't bear the feeling of a wasted month for no good reason....I have 5 months until I'm 44 and i feel like missing one month has just slashed my odds by 20% waaaaah!!