TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 25 BFPs for all!

[strawberrye]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

strawberrye
Age 27
TTC #1
MC#1 5-6 weeks January 2018
MC#2 5 weeks April 2018
TTC since October 2017
Cycle 5 TTC since most recent MC, cycle 11 TTC overall

@Boboelephant so sorry you are feeling so low right now. I found it quite difficult last cycle when AF showed up and stepping back for a bit really helped. Take some time for you and hope you feel better soon. Xx

@Lilimum4 yup I'd say so. Nice temp rise.

Hi to all the oldies and the newbies.

I've taken a step back from this thread as not able to TTC at the moment (awaiting IVF and in a same sex relationship so no chance of it happening naturally) but just wanted to stick my head in to say congrats to @Laney79!

Hi lovelies, I haven't been around for a while as trying not to focus on ttc as was getting a bit too obsessed. But I thought I'd rejoin you all as just got my first period post-miscarriage. Sorry to see all the newcomers here, and sending lots of positive vibes to everyone, especially those having a hard time at the moment.
My details:
Kintan
TTC #2 (Have a little boy of 18mo)
Natural miscarriage @ 9 weeks at beginning of July.

Oh @Boboelephant it's so hard. I had to take a break too, and honestly it helped a little. The obsessiveness definately got to me.

Thanks everyone for the positive vibes and kindness. Been bizarrely calm today. I thought I'd be really scared but I just feel...right. Hard not to get too excited.

Hi ladies!
About me;
Age 29
TTC #1
Cycle day 7
3 mmc - 2015, Oct 2017 and jan 2018
Diagnosed with lupus anticoagulant so on 75mg aspirin and will need injections of blood thinners once +ve test
Previously hadn’t had any problems at all with ttc (2 months max) but now on 4th cycle ttc and getting upset that the ttc was supposed to be the easy bit for us after 3 mmc :(
Had acupuncture a few weeks ago and going to try fertility gel next cycle. Any thoughts / tips / success with gels?
Thanks :)

Welcome to the newbies and sorry I find yourselves here :(

@Laney79 It's ok to be excited and enjoy your pregnancy, fingers crossed it all works out for u lovely.

AF came today so I'm out this month :( DP doesn't really wanna try at the minute so not sure when it will happen :(

Huge congrats @Laney79 !!

Can I ask what's the deal with pineapple? Have seen it mentioned a few times.

Relaxation is doing the trick- flashing smiley on clear blue on CD 8...didn't happen until CD13 last month!

@boboelephant I can understand you needing to take a break. Sending you virtual hugs and hope you feel better soon x

@SuperSharpShooter82 I recognise you from the pregnancy loss and miscarriage threads. Hope you get a negative test so you can start TTC again. It's good that you are thinking about it already.

Morning ladies
Welcome and sorry to all the newcomers

So this happened yesterday
Positive on FRER at 10dpo
Had a manic dash to my consultant who hooked me up to a IV of intralipids and added progesterone suppositories to my medication...

It's very very early days- I'm 3w4days
My first scan isn't until week 7. I lost two of my babies before 7 weeks so I'm just going to try and take the next 3.5 weeks day by day...trying to stay positive but also don't want to get my hopes up too much...

I really hope this is the start of a very lucky thread for all of us
Sending good vibes to everyone

🙏🏽

@zarala wow, amazing news, congratulations! Hope the next 3.5 weeks aren’t too nerve wracking, sending you loads of positive vibes! xx

Laney79 Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!! I know you must be feeling nervous, but try to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy. Don't stop yourself from feeling excited, go with it! It's an exciting time! IF the worst happens again, guarding your emotions now won't make it any easier, so just enjoy it! You deserve happiness and excitement! I really hope everything goes smoothly and you're blessed with a healthy little baba! xxx

Boboelephant so interesting what she picked up during the reiki session, and very strange that you're now having a worse period than normal. I really hope it is some unblocking going on! Sorry you're feeling low, I totally understand needing a little break, you may have noticed I've been taking more of a step back recently too. Best of luck for your new cycle!

Blondcat I'm glad you're feeling more hopeful. Fingers crossed for you it'll happen soon. xxx

How are you managing these days hayleyfx? Thinking of you still xxx

Mistymeow fingers crossed for you xxx

zarala that's amazing!!! Congratulations! Same advice to you as I've written above to Laney. xxx

Hi to all the newbies, and returners. So sorry for your losses and big penguin huddle cuddles all round. Sorry not to be able to reply to each of you individually, but I have read all your messages and am sending you healing hugs. xxx

Not been around as much recently as TTC has sort of been put on the back burner. With the amount of stress I'm feeling at work I think it'd be a miracle if I managed to get pregnant. Thanks for all the advice about my up-coming interview on the previous thread to those who replied. I am going to go and if I get the job I'll take it. But I am also starting to make plans for if I don't get the job and getting the ball rolling with an informal complaint about my working conditions to my manager. Tried yesterday, but didn't have time . If nothing is done about the issues I raise I'll be making it a formal grievance. So that's my focus at the moment, hence not being around here as much.
I think I may technically be in my FW or coming up to it, but I wouldn't even be surprised if I don't ovulate again this month with everything that's going on.

@zarala congratulations fx for a sticky bean and a happy healthy pregnancy xx

@knitkitty sounds like you are feeling a lot more determined hope the interview goes well xx

@zarala massive congrats. And fingers crossed for a sticky bean.

@zarala , massive congratulations and hopefully the little bean sticks this time! Everything crossed for you!!

@zarala congratulations! Fx for a healthy sticky bean!

@zarala great news! Fingers crossed for us both! Congrats!

Thanks ladies
Really appreciate your lovely support
And fx for you @Laney79 !!!!
I'm just waiting for Tuesday now- that's when AF is due so just want to get past that first milestone....

@KnitKitty thanks love. Sounds like you have a good plan there with regards to work. I hope taking a break from TTC helps with TTC! (Oh the irony and stupidity of it all!!!)

I'm going to stick around if that's ok as this doesn't feel real yet....and I wanna see all of you get your BFPs.. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

Hi ladies, I haven't read the boards for a while and there's just way too much to catch up. Congrats to those of you who have got your BFP and sorry to those of you having a tough time.

I'm being selfish again and coming here just to talk about me!

I'm quite a mess at the moment but feel like I don't have a right to be. Some people have so much more going on in life than I do but I'm not able to snap out of it. I had my first period since MC last week and found it very difficult.

My work know that I'm a mess and are quite concerned. They've added to my health insurance so that I can see a gynaecologist (and dermatologist for other issues I have) so that I don't have to wait to have a third miscarriage to get help. They're being great but probably just don't want me to have any more time off sick! Anyone who has had tests, what should I expect to begin with? My first appointment is in 2 weeks time... how long do you think it'll be until we can start TTC with this consultant? I really don't want to keep waiting and already feel sad that this week is my FW but we have to wait.

Hi RedRobin7

I’m new to this thread but wanted to pop in to reply.

First of all, you have every right to be a mess. Your grief and experience is real and whilst there may be others going through much more, it doesn’t diminish or invalidate your experiences and grief. One of the best pieces of advice I was given after my second miscarriage was to accept all the anger, frustration and grief I was having. This was because they are emotions secondary to my experience and if I bottle them up or make light of them, I will have to deal with them when they come back (which they will, in some way or another).

In terms of the gynaecologist, are you going to see a recurrent miscarriage specialist? The tests very much depend on what doctor you go and see. I have a medical background and in my experience, there is not much research out there on miscarriages so there is no standardised protocol that each doctor would carry out. So a general gynaecologist would approach things differently to a RMC consultant (who also vary between themselves hugely!). Do you know who you would be seeing, if you don’t mind me asking?

Sorry, I’m new to posting on Mumsnet and I’m posting from my phone so haven’t figured out quite how to do things as slickly as the other ladies here!

@Cyclops10 Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.

I guess I just feel like people expect me to just keep going. I've lost count how many times I've heard it's just bad luck and to try again or just to relax. I am very lucky to have a very supportive HR lady at work who has kindly taken the time to sit with me and talk things through. So I at least know I'm being supported at work.

I just happen to be seeing a gynaecologist at a private hospital near me. I've checked out his profile on the website and it says recurrent miscarriage is one of his interests. I'll screenshot the page - do you think he is the right person to see?

@RedRobin7

If they have specifically mentioned Recurrent Miscarriages as one of their special interests, then they definitely sound good. They would mostly start off with basic bloods, including clotting screen, vitamins (B12, folate, iron) and thyroid functions along with checking your blood group. They may also run an autoimmune screen (another blood test) to check if your markers are elevated as this might point towards if there are any clotting or autoimmune disorders which might point towards the reason for the miscarriage. Antophospholipid syndrome is the most common one they test for as it can be managed relatively easily (blood thinning injections and aspirin). They’ll also test reproductive hormone surgery such as progesterone to check you’re ovulating, that the hormone that makes your eggs mature is being released etc. They would also run routine tests on your DP’s sperm to ensure there’s no abnormalities there either. Then it comes down to each gynaecologist’s choice as they will want to scan you/perform imaging of your ovaries so I would double check with him what his investigation choice is.

I can understand what you mean, people expect you to keep going - they expect the healing processes to be a straightforward trajectory when it’s really full of ups and downs. It’s great that your work is supportive - no one knows how they’re going to react in such a situation until they actually go through it.

Sorry it’s such a long post! Feel free to PM me if you want to run through anything - this is such a difficult time when you trying to cope with your feelings and sadness as well as trying to plan ahead.

*reproductive hormones - not surgery, stupid typo

Hi ladies. Thought I would join in -

Age - 30
TTC no1 since July 17
MMC in Jan 18 at 12 weeks - baby stopped growing at 7+5 after us seeing a strong heartbeat at 7 weeks
MC in May 18 at 5 weeks

We took a few months off trying after our second loss in May so last month was our first time trying but AF caught me yesterday so onto cycle 2.

I suffer from long cycles at around 40ish days but started acupuncture at the start of July & my cycle shortened by 7 days so fingers crossed things are sorting them self out and September will be our month 🤞🏻