TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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@Hayleyfx glad you are doing as well as can be expected. I think as others have said it is really only you who knows when it is right to try again but a few months sounds sensible.
My db and his dp lost their little girl around 19 weeks and were advised 6 months as they were young enough but if were older 3 would have been fine.

YellowDaffodils86 It must be good for AF the turn up and be out of limbo. Having irregular cycles is really annoying! I've started temping and I like it, I feel more in control and it should reduce my anxiety later in the month. Cd 18 and I still have a very negative opk..

Newbie21 argh! Unexplained bleeding! I personally would try and ignore it unless it changes or more symptoms emerge. Being female is such a headf*ck!!

haleyfx you are phenomenal. I don't think anyone can tell you when it's the right time to ttc again, hopefully you'll get a sense of what's best. I think everyone here will really understand the need to be pregnant again. Please take excellent care of yourself🐧❤

boboelephant hopefully not testing will activate sod's law, and this will be your month! Fingers tightly crossed for you.

So I had dentist this week and their opening line was about my baby... Had to tell them I'm not pregnant, which led to some cringy small talk. Apparently computer also needed to know why there was no baby. I had been to dental hygienist just few weeks before MC so it was recorded, but after 1,5 months it was not a chat I wanted to do... Also not sure if they thought I was still pg -hopefully don't look like I'm too many months pg

I think I may be ovulating/have ovulated - I've tried OPK sticks but have not managed to get 2 lines. I've tested once a day 2pm- may be due to my age (?) or drink too much (although tried to reduce for 2hrs before testing) or just haven't happened yet - I'm CD17 but I've been noticing (EW-ish)CM since Saturday. This is 1st time I am trying those OPKs as well.

Good luck with everyone

@coffeist I expect I will have the conversation when I go in the next month or so unless I am pg again by then.

Hi all
Sorry I have been awol for a while
I came back from being away from DH for almost a month so we had a lot of catching up to do PLUS it was almost the start of sexy week which ended up being kind of a sexy fortnight! Woop woop.
Have been trying to stay positive and block out any negative news - I like living in a state of denial sometimes! So I have not been checking in on you ladies for very selfish reasons/ BUT! That's not to say you haven't been on my mind.

Currently dpo 3
Back on the steroids- which I think are affecting me more this time, constant hunger and a general feeling of anxiety-can't sit still and do nothing- type of feeling. So I have been getting very in to ironing ! (Ok!)
Work has been crazy as well so that's helping distract.

Going to read up and try and catch up on what the latest is with you all!

I've come for a moan and advise.
So ive been researching if ovulation is too early it causes infertility. Does any one know if and how I can extend my follicular phase as I ovulate on cd9 to cd11. I also read its more common to have miscarriages with a short follicular phase

Age: 31
TTC#1
MC January 2018 at 9 weeks after 4 months of trying.
Very irregular periods (last one was 86 days!) so very frustrating and currently looking to see if I have PCOS.
Should have been due next week so struggling a bit at the moment.Truly thought I would be pregnant again by now but no

@Eastend2015 hi hun. I was thinking about you the other day. If you'd like to join the London meet up feel free to dm me and I can add you to the WhatsApp group.
We're thinking Waterloo. At some point in September.

@hayleyfx I literally envy your strength! Such an amazing lady. Charlie was lucky to have you as their mummy.

@Boboelephant good idea, im definitely going for the not testing until af approach next time. Im sick of white bfns!
I spoke to sh yesterday and explained what smep was and if he would want to try it. I figured it would be a good idea to try and include him in these discussions and make him more involved. I think he shys away sometimes. Plus dont want him to feel like a sperm bank!😂

@SerenaOverjoyed (love your name still)
Yes it really is. I think iv always had irregular cycles. But being on and off birth control for a couple of years here and there and different methods, plus never really paying much attention, leaves you a little more clueless then youd expect.
This will be my first full cycle temping, hoping it will also makes things easier and make me less anxious. I think a twenty something day ovulator, join my club!

Thanks ladies, I panicked as someone told me I should wait at least a year before trying again and I thought - there’s no way I’ll manage that!! But around 3 months or so is what we were planning so that’s good to know. Also thank you again for all the kind words! You’re all so lovely 💕

@Cakelaur Aww thank you hun! Hope you and bub are doing well x

@zarala thanks for the advice lovely, I haven’t been referred for any testing yet but think I’m going to have to find out more next week as I’d prefer it sooner rather than later. Never heard of arvigo but definitely sounds interesting! Also it’s nice to hear that everything worked out well for your friend, those positive stories keep me going!

Hey ladies
Just happened upon this website when obviously googling something silly
Thought some of you may find it interesting
She has recipes to help fertility and other natural remedies for pcos and long irregular cycles etc

www.thepreggerskitchen.com/about/

@Cakelaur iv not idea if it made its way to you m, but iv sent you a dm x

Hope no one minds me joining...

Age: 26
TTC: #1
TTC Cycle: #3
OV date: 31st Aug
Period Due: 16th Sep

Had MC at 5 weeks last October, took a break from TTC until 3 months ago

I've been feeling a few symptoms and think I might have had IB yesterday but don't want to get too ahead of myself, going to test in a few days with some FRERs

Oh @hayleyfx you strong brave lady. My heart breaks for you. It may take your body a few months to get going again, it's been three months for me to start ovulating after a d&c at 10 weeks, but once your cycles have restarted I'd get cracking, if you feel up to it.

Cd1 here. AF came early and is light. Very reminiscent of the breakthrough bleeding I had when I wasn't ovulating, but my gynae scanned me and told me everything was fine last week so must be genuine AF. I'm so tired of stressing about all this stuff.

@Newbie21 hope your body sorts itself out. I had a bit of bleeding around ovulation earlier on. I read something about changes in your cervix at this time forcing any old blood out.
@hayleyfx don't feel guilty. Wanting to have another baby doesn't take away any of the love you have for Charlie. I imagine about 3 months is ok as long as you feel ready at the end of it.
@SerenaOverjoyed thankyou, I hope so! Glad you are finding temping helpful. I personally find it really reassuring.
@Coffeist ugh hate those conversations. Well done for getting through it. Hope ovulation happens soon.
@zarala welcome back. Heavily into ironing... 😂 they say distraction is key!
@Lilimum4 you already have two DC right? Do you know if you have always had a short follicular phase or have your cycles gotten much shorter since MC? If they've always been short it seems that you are still able to get pregnant and keep them even with a shorter phase. Maybe a reminder to your body that you CAN do this! I'm trying positive self talk this month. 👍 I also think you should google seed cycling. I did this after MC and it regulated my cycles again.
@mholty and @webster144 welcome and I'm so sorry for your losses. Fx for you both.
@YellowDaffodils86 I know. I just can't bear seeing those super white tests and almost making myself go cross eyed trying to see a non existant line. So patience is a virtue and all that. Must remember that!
@Canters15 sorry af got you but at least things are getting back to normal and you are ovulating again.

@Boboelephant thank you. I was hoping that was what it was but AF showed up this morning 10 days early which is totally weird.

I had my MC and D&C end of April and cycles seem to regulate really quickly afterwards, apart from this so I don't think it is related to the MC but if anyone has had a similar experience I'd be interested to know. Feeling very down about it. I've got it in my head that I've entered the perimenapausal phase - I'm 37. My granny had early menapause. I am probably overreacting and having AF blues so hopefully I'll snap out of it in a day or so. TFI Friday!!!!

@Newbie21 your poppy broach sounds lovely. Your due date is really close to mine too (13th Nov). I wouldn't worry about your cycles. I had fairly regular cycles after my ERPC in April (both 27 days). But this cycle (cycle 4) is definitely weird, ovulating late and probably going to have a long cycle. I've also had pain every day since cd10. I think it's the hormones still regulating. Highly likely that the miscarriage is causing wacky cycles but if it's still not right next cycle see your doctor. I had fertility tests before my miscarriage and everything was fine so I'm not too worries, although I'm still to complete my progesterone test which I will do next month. Arrrgh these cycles are a complete pain in the bum!

@webster144 welcome and sorry to see your reasons for joining this thread. Got everything crossed for you!

@mholty sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Your long cycles sound very frustrating, I hope you have some answers soon and treatment to regulate them.

@Newbie21 sorry af got you and cycles are out of whack. I was told MC can affect your cycles for up to 6 months after so I'm sure it's more likely that and not early menopause!

I am starting to feel the crazy ladies! Been trying so hard to be chilled and not Google everything and up to today I was doing pretty well. Then today has been a train wreck! Today I've been feeling just pants, headache, so tired it's crazy, terrible sleep and vivid dreams. Today I have had pulling sensations in my uterus/ovaries all day. I can feel the hope rising and it's hard because I so want to think positive but I have had every symptom under the sun the last 8 cycles and I always get excited and then am always let down. I said I wouldn't test until af is late next Wednesday but that is feeling harder!!

@boboelephant stay strong you can do it. I am due af around Tuesday too but after last cycle it may be more like Thursday /Friday gong to be doing and wait until next weekend if no show. No symptoms that I can tell here but not sure if the thrush has distracted me as been trying to treat that much better but still slightly itchy /sore. Been wearing dh boxers to get some air flowing x

@Boboelephant dont do it!! Stay strong!
Just a few more days!!!🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Stay strong @Boboelephant

So ladies I'm in a bit of a minor pickle... 23rd of August is my angels due date. I said to DH what should we do for it and he looked at me blankly and said... ummm why are we doing something?!
We are currently 22weeks and mega thankful that this little guy is on the way but I still think about my first bub. He says it's very different for guys and he doesn't think about the last pregnancy at all and that it was just a blip in our journey.
Any suggestions of what we could do? We'll be away in France with my DSS so don't want to make a massive deal out of it but also I'd be devastated to let it pass totally without recognition.

@boboelephant stay strong! You can do it!

Hi everyone! Sorry I've not been chatting much, found it difficult to contribute on a cycle we couldn't try. Anyway on to a new cycle, CD8 and first flashy smiley today on OPKs so keeping myself busy with JKS. Also trying grapefruit juice this month, it is VILE and I haven't noticed any difference yet but its early days.

Anyone got any nice plans for the weekend?

@cakelaur could you maybe light a candle to burn all day that day? Did you ever have a name for the baby you lost? Maybe could write bubs name in the sand and the date and let the waves wash it away (if you are near the sea that is)

@Blondcat thanks. Fx for us both for next week! Sorry about the thrush but glad I'm not the only one who has stolen DH's jocks! 😂
@YellowDaffodils86 thanks, must stay strong! How are you feeling?
@Cakelaur thanks, I'll try! I think because my parents left today and it's been rubbish weather there's been no distraction from my thoughts.
Why don't you do something small but significant symbolically? You could let off a balloon or a lantern or even light a candle which you blow out as you say goodbye.

Ahh @strawberrye cross post. I love your name in the sand idea. And thanks! Just needed to be talked down I think! 😉