TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 24 🐧🐧

[RedRobin7]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age: 29
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
MC at 6 weeks in July 18
Waiting one cycle before getting back on the bus!

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OH MY GOODNESS Jessabean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So excited for you! Hope this is the stickiest bean ever and you have a happy and healthy pregnancy! Please show us the FRER tomorrow! :D

Funkyezmie Something catches my eye occasionally on the tests, but it's hard to know if it's anything or nothing I'm afraid. Test again and show us the results! Fingers crossed for you!!!

Thanks for sharing the foods Russkispy

Spotting is the worse TedLife. You just want a clear answer one way or another. Have you tested? I know you're pretty sure it's AF starting, but I had what you're describing when pregnant and didn't get my BFP until a week later because I was sure I was just having a weird period...

YellowDaffodils86 I hope AF stays away! xxx

Laney79 I had the same thing a few days ago. Maybe the heat is making up have more CM????

Bloody hell Boboelephant that looks horrendous!! Hope it's not hurting anymore.

Bobzybaby OH isn't the easiest to get in the mood so usually only DTD once or twice during fertile time. Worked for us in January (and a couple of cycles ago with suspected CP). It's just getting the timing right that's hard because I know if I manage to get him in the mood one day he won't be in the mood again for about 3 or more days, so I have to time it well and not push it too much.

sweetpea0318 Ride the waves of emotion. Some days/weeks are just harder than others.
Being happy for others who have what you so desperately want is hard as it just highlights what you're missing out on, even if they've been through struggles themselves. I see it as a type of impatience and sad frustration really. All you can do is just feel the feels and keep plodding on. Huge penguin hugs xxx

Dyra I think once you've read the results and discarded it it's best not to look again as you could get dodgy results. Having said that, it's worth testing again in a couple of days to see if anything shows up immediately! Fingers crossed for you! What DPO are you?

So I've started having sensations in my uterus... I say sensations because they're not quite pains. Feels more like a stretching feeling, like it's being blown up like a balloon. Pretty sure I had this last cycle before AF so I think I'll come on either tomorrow (early?) or Saturday.

Thanks everyone. Ridiculously early days at mo but will just see what the next few days bring- hopefully no AF/blood! And hopefully a more clear FRER BFP tomorrow
@doddlebobs am 10dpo today.

@sweetpea0318 Agree with others this journey is so shit as it is no need to be hard on yourself for feeling rubbish too. It's the unfortunate nature of being at the stage in life we are that we have to deal with all our friends getting pregnant and growing families - it's just so relentless. And agree like everyone is pregnant at the moment it seems!! And I've also found some of those pregnancies randomly more difficult to hear about than others. This whole journey is just such a mind fuck.
Sorry also if my posting upset you at all when you're already having a rubbish day.

Thanks @KnitKitty!! Hoping if it is that it'll be a healthy bean this time.

That sounds very promising though with the uterus sensations. I've been having random cramping/pulling type pains too! So hope this is your cycle too 🤞willing it!

@Boboelephant that looks insanely painful! Hope it heals quick and that you enjoy the rest of your holiday sting free!

@Bobzybaby My previous routine had to have lots of sex over fertile week- at least every other day. This time though I used SMEP- every other day for CD8 (though missed the first one) until I got positive OPK (testing from CD10) and then that day +2 days in a row. A day break and then final day try.

Thanks literally everyone. I keep going back to the test thinking am I imagining it but it's defo there. My camera is pretty rubbish at picking these things up. I'm counting the hours till morning!!!!

@Boboelephant that looks nasty babes, how rubbish on your hols too!

@knitkitty I had that with my last pregnancy, I so hope this is it for you!!

Is this one any better? It's from this morning but a bit closer and in different light. X

@jessabean no you didn’t upset me at all! I’m so pleased every time I see positive news on here as it gives me hope. Fx crossed for you xxx

@funkyemzie when I zoom in I can see something! Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

@jessabean congratulations! amazing news! Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

@funkyemzie I can definitely see something in that last pic, bodes well... 🙂

@boboelephant OWWW!!! I really hope that’s not as painful as it looks!

@Bobzybaby we have tried similar to you and also every day for 12 days! I have read that it is fine to do it every day but I think what's most important is that you cover ovulation. Alot of people start strong and then get tired and stop and miss the most important time. So if what you're doing is achievable I'd stick to that! We'll be doing similar as every day was exhausting!
@sweetpea0318 sorry hun. That sounds like a lot to deal with and I think all of us would struggle with it! As the others have said, you are allowed to feel down, vent to us and it will get better I promise.
@Dyra how many dpo are you?
@KnitKitty sounds positive! I have everything crossed!!!
@Funkyemzie yep I can definitely see it!!! Congratulations!!!!
@KnitKitty, @Jessabean, @Funkyemzie, @ronniemipperton thanks all. It is ok now, just looks bad. It was horrendous though when it happened- little bugger!

Right so it looks like this is definitely happening then!
Here's really hoping it really is third time lucky this time! 🙈

@Jessabean Congratulations lovely! Keeping everything crossed for you! Please hang around so we know how you're doing!

I've been scanning through the posts but not really feeling like keeping up at the moment. Second day back was hard and I'm just feeling quite low. Will be back properly in a few days I'm sure.

Good luck to all those testing soon and those in FW xx

@Jessabean just happy for you love! Hope we can be lining up again with happier results this time round :)

@Funkyemzie yep I think I can see something too.

@RedRobin7 sorry you had a tough day. Do you have the weekend off? You deserve to do something special as a reward for getting back to work.

For any one looking for a treat tonight I'd like to share my husband and my favourite treat (well, used to be an occasional treat but now we get one most Friday or Saturday!!) but the curries from this range are incredible! www.bighams.com/ - available from Sainsbury's or Waitrose, quicker, easier, healthier, cheaper and tastier than a takeaway!

What's everyone Friday night plan? My parents in law are here so we will get some dinner with them and once the wee one is sleeping my husband and i are hoping to nip out for a drink. Rare opportunity but hoping we don't have too many more chances at drink drinks!

@Jessabean congratulations! Here's to healthy pregnancy!
@Funkyemzie I can see the line. How many dpo are you now?!

Jessabean I'm so happy for you!!! Third times's a charm, so they say! That's a really good line for 11DPO! How exciting!
For some reason seeing BFPs on this thread just fill me with joy, but I find seeing them elsewhere harder. Maybe because we're all in this same boat together and genuinely rooting for each other? Also because we understand that we don't take BPFs lightly here; we know that anyone posting a positive pregnancy test is going to be feeling very mixed emotions, joy and worry, whereas on other threads and in real life, a lot of ladies just seem to take things for granted and expect everything to work out just fine, and it's hard to swallow. Not sure that makes any sense or not... But anyway, it does give me hope, so share away!

Of course you don't have to keep up with everything at the moment RedRobin7. You're allowed to just drop by for support when you need it. Sometimes you give, sometimes you just need to take. So have a few penguin huddle cuddles and drop in when you need to.

The same goes for anyone else struggling at the moment.
I know I sometimes feel guilty not keeping up with everyone else well enough, but I really don't mind if people just post about themselves sometimes when you're going through a rough time. We all have to put ourselves first sometimes.
Courage ladies!

Hmm... Funkyemzie I'm still not sure. I think it's probably the quality of the photo though if you can see a line IRL.

doddlebobs sounds like a nice evening planned.
I shall be having a nice quite evening in (OH out tonight) and try and get some knitting done. Promised a colleague I'd make them a phone holder and I haven't done it yet.

Thanks for the encouragement guys, but I'm really not getting my hopes up... Or rather, I'm scared to as I don't want to be too disappointed when AF arrives. The TTW is hard!!!

That's a lovely clear line @Jessabean -fingers crossed for you!

@RedRobin7 hugs. Hope you start to feel better. It's so hard going back. To be honest I've been back since mid May and still have my moments. Be kind to yourself though, if it's too much just go home.

@KnitKitty your OH sounds just like mine. He's difficult to get in the mood when we're at home-too many stresses around, and even if we do get going sometimes his brain starts overthinking and we don't get the grand finale if you get what I mean. I'm CD9 today and have ov'd around day 14 past two months. Hoping I can get him in the mood (he did promise me a BBB -belated birthday bonk) sat/sun and then again tues/weds...really just want to do smep but any time I mention getting jiggy he starts talking about pressure. That said the month I caught we only dtd cd11 and cd14.

This ttc after MC really does sent you bloomin' loopy doesn't it. I really miss not worrying and stressing-I'm sad for my what will be will be attitude.

Just having a quick catch up before work. Didn't wanna pass without saying congratulations @Jessabean 🎉 everything crossed!

Also, thanks to the folks for answering my DTD question! Typical the DH now has a cold so tonight should be delightful 😂

@Funkyemzie I can definitely see a line in that one! Exciting!

@JessaBean congratulations!!

@doddlebobs Friday night plan = DH is making homemade garlic chicken Kiev for tea and probably a film at home. We're due to have thunderstorms this evening so I don't think we'll be venturing out!

What a great start to POAS Friday!!! 🎉

@Jessabean that's a nice clear line! Massive congrats!!!

@Funkyemzie I can defo see something on there!! 🤞🏻 it gets nice and dark!!

@Boboelephant that looks crazy that sting!!! Hope other than that you're having a lovely holiday.

Aww huge congrats @jessabean that's lovely to see!

Fingers crossed @funkyemzie!

I've been holidaying in France this week and the TWW starts today after lots of dtd. First try since last mc in may. It's just so annoying that all this effort doesn't guarantee pregnancy, but hey ho.

Hope everyone else ok, making nice Friday night plans. Looking at the weather you're getting some serious storms at home!

So quick update this morning, I think it's dodgy frer's! No progression this morning at all. Don't know what to think, clear rise in temp today but could just be weather.

Congratulations @Jessabean, that is a beautiful clear line lovely, fingers crossed for a sticky one!! Xxx

If nothing this weekend I'll test on Monday. Stupid lines!

@jessicabean great line so early fx for a healthy happy pregnancy x

@funkyemzie sorry it is not clearer hopefully in a few days you will have a clear positive fx x

@Knitkitty and @Yellowdaffodils86 well i'm officially out! Woke up this morning to horrendous period cramps so she's in full flow now and a day early to boot. This month was easier to take I think because I didn't test, from that first spotting I knew it was over and seeing AF is definitely easier than seeing the stark white of a pg test.

Off for my romantic hotel night away tomorrow so trying to feel good about that (despite AF!) and since i'm back to cd1 now can start looking forward and being positive again. I'm starting to really dread the TWW now, at least with FW you feel like you have some control and you're doing something. So onwards and upwards to sexy week!

Congrats to @Jessabean again, delighted we have some good news in the group

@TedLife sorry for AF but hope you have a nice time away

@funkyemzie sorry for the limbo you're in, I think you're right only time will tell, sending hugs

@hayleyfx thinking of you today and really hoping you get good news

@bobotheelephant ow ow ow!! Hope it goes down soon. Oh well, too late for the grapefruit juice this time - will add it into the mix next time- but I also ate half a pineapple yesterday.

@doddlebobs Ah well done! That is a loooong fw. Yes we are just about the same. AF due for me around aug 3rd according to my app, although I expect it might be a couple of days after that. Good luck! FX for you.

@hayleyfx I'll be thinking of you today. x

@sweetpea0318 Sorry you are having a rough time sweetheart. That is a hard run of baby-related events. hugs.

A little positive note. Today is my 40th party and I've been approaching this birthday with trepidation. I normally love my birthday and have no problem with getting older but obviously the mcs put a shadow on this. Since my first mc there are so many occasions that I have just had to get through without enjoying but a few days ago I started to actually get excited about my birthday. I woke up this morning went to an early morning yoga class and now I have to say I am feeling really happy. I hope this doesn't sound unbearably smug but I wanted to share this to let people earlier in the process know that things can still be fun and joy can be had. I carry my losses and have been changed for ever by them but gradually I am finding a way to live with them.