Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies here's our new thread!

You are right chat, I think I'll have to give up on tge temping. I found it useful for a while, but most of the time it's just an extra stress that I don't need. I've got a cold at the moment so that may be throwing temps out a bit anyway.

I hope you manage to find out what is going on with your spotting. Maybe just a weird blip? I'm a master of those!

Hi ladies, hope you're all doing well. I haven't posted in a few days because I was feeling so down about the whole thing. AF arrived on Sunday (so much for increased fertility after a mc!) and I've been miserable since. Starting to feel a bit better now that it's cd4 and like Weasle looking forward to the fertile week but not feeling too much hope at the moment.
Hobbes you mentioned that you didn't think your ds would still be an only child, I feel exactly the same! I take mine places and there are always sibling playing together and he watches them and sometimes plays with them but it breaks my heart that we're not able to give him a little playmate :( 2 more cycles and I'll have to look into doing something about it since trying naturally is clearly not working.

Cleo I'd give temping a break if it stresses you out so much, I've never done it for the very reason I thought it'd stress me out more.

Orchid I felt exactly as you did when af came last cycle. I had my hopes pinned on the raised fertility after miscarriage thing so the fall was so much harder. I hace my reality hat back on this time and will try to take things as they come (I say, whist stressing about sodding temps)
The cycles that I've had a clear temp rise have been really reassuring but its just prone to blips and I can't hack the stress of that!

Cleo, I remember how disappointed you were and although I did my best to prepare for the failure and not expect much I think deep down I was hoping it might happen again. Gutted!
Have your temps been fairly consistent with the cbfm?

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best!

Previous cycles, cbfm has always shown 1st peak day on ovulation day which is the same day as a big temp dip which is normally followed by a rise the next day. Basically all that happened except for the rise. Confusing.

@Cleozeta - I’m sure I read somewhere that temping will be affected if you have a cold or flu so it could just be that. I think temping adds a lot of stress to the process without adding anything helpful - at least using OPKs will help you to time DTD properly, but by the time you see a temp change it’s too late to do anything different so I’ve so far avoided adding that to the already bonkers regime!
Speaking of OPKs I finally got a high reading this morning 6 days later than normal so finally feeling better and have stopped panicking that the IVF drugs have sent me into menopause 😊

Oh and I also got that broken mercury filling out today and replaced by a safe one. Surprising how much better I feel for not having to worry about it anymore 😊

Hi ladies. I'm more of a lurker here, though sometimes post. I need a bit of advice. We are thinking of trying IVF but cant decide if it genuinely is a good idea or whether this is just desperation. From reading these posts a few of you have tried it. Quick recap of my history....Started ttc nearly 3 years ago at age 39.5. Conceived 4 times in 3, 6, 3 and 8 cycles. Lost them all. Two of the losses were confirmed as trisomies. The other two were early miscarriages so no testing was performed.

I've had tests for rmc done and found to have very mild hypothyroidism so now on thyroxine. I've also had nk cell testing done so may take steroids in hopefully our next pregnancy. We are now on cycle 9 ttc since the last miscarriage. I'm really worried that we are not getting pregnant as quickly as before (am now 42 so probably age) but even if I do I have no faith in it working out. So we are considering ivf just to hurry up the conception process. But if I'm honest and thinking about this logically I'm not convinced ivf is the way to go. Luckily we are in a position where can afford it but are still very reluctant to spend £5k on it with such low chances. I've been on these forums for two years now and from all the posts I've read in the vast majority of women over 40 trying ivf it does not work. My amh is low (4.5 pmol/l 6 months ago) but average for my age so we are only likely to get 2/3 eggs at most anyway. The fertility clinic have quoted a 10% chance. It is also a horribly stressful process to go through. I'm really unsure about it. What do you all think?! Would appreciate some advice, particularly from those who have tried it.

Welcome @Apple04 I've not tried ivf so not sure I can help but sure the ladies will help..
@shinyblackdog list update 😘
@CritterTamer glad hormones are getting there act together and good new about the filling

Still had some mild spotting but have googled it when go back to our accommodation.. can be associated with ovulation.. well not back till tomorrow so hopefully can dtd in Eve.. but not much ewcm oh well see how the next few days pan out..

I know it's only an article in the DM but 16.1 births in every 1000 are to women in their40's that age group is the only age group that figures have increased since 2016 and highest numbers since 1949!!!

But the rate is still lower than that in the 1940's... no interference from nasty know all drs.. and no Pre natel vits xx

Hi Apple, afraid I have not done IVF yet either so can't advise, but I have been considering it too as a possibility, but also with the same concerns as you.
Sorry to hear of all your losses, that must be tough. Are you ttc #1?

Chat, I've heard ovulation spotting is quite common, although I never experienced it until I was 40. Better get dtd then!
Thats a promising article about over 40's births. There is still hope for us yet.

Critter - yeah I think my cold may have affected my temps. Had a better rise this morning, although that may have been helped along by a drink last night (medicinal of course), but I find myself scrutinising every individual temp and stressing about it. It's pointless, so this will be last month of that. Sticking with just opk's and cbfm now, they tell me all I need to know.
Good news about your high reading, the IVF must have just delayed thing a bit, you must be releived! And great stuff about the filling to. Be gone!

Hi Apple,

I've just had a (failed) round of IVF, and may go again later this year. From my perspective, if you have the money, then I think it is worth a try. I had another round back in 2016 and have my DS from that successful try. I would also think you would get more eggs for an AMH of 4.5, mine was only 2.5 this time around and I was on a low stim protocol and I still had 2 good eggs. I am sure my AMH was 4 in 2016 and I got 8 eggs back then (on a high dose of stims). It is a stressful process for sure, but if you are lucky enough to have a DC because of it then it is worth every injection bruise! If you want to know anything else, please ask. I didn't have IVF here in the UK but the processes are quite similar, I believe.

Hi Apple

I’ve also just had.failed IVF cycle. My advice would be to go for it if you can, but keep your expectations realistic. The excitement and hope is so much more than in a natural cycle, and you put your body through so much, then the fall is that much further when it fails that you really should be prepared for it. My next cycle will hopefull6 start at the end of September and I must say my hopes are now very low but I still feel like I need to give it everything possible or live with regret for the rest of my life. I don’t think AMH is the be all and end all - mine is 10.4 and still only got 6 eggs from 8 follicles - I was just unlucky that only 8 antral follicles came up that month when I normally get around 12. I was given 15 to 20% chance of success, when we had two 5 day blasts transferred that went up to 37% but still nothing - I was told over 40s are very unlikely to have success on the first try and to ‘keep plugging away at it’.

On a more positive note I had a peak result on OPK this morning after only 1 day of high result - that seems odd I normally get 4 or maybe 5 days of high results before peak - anyone else had this? @Cleo did you say yours went straight from low to peak this month?

Critter I normally get 5 days of high results too but I remember one month of only 1 day so I guess it's not unusual and can vary from month to month.

Thanks Orchid. I guess hormones still aren’t quite back to normal it’s been an odd month - hopefully everything will be back to normal next month 😊
@Chatbash72 I hope you had a safe trip home from your break and have figured out what was going on with your spotting!

Critter - yes I went straight from low to peak for the first time ever this cycle. That was a bit odd as I normally have around 4 high's too. Not sure whats going on there!

Blimey hormonal rollercoaster over the last 12 hrs.... so this morning I did a test and bollocksed it up.. ( will drip in future.. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤣) left it and when I went back to look one strong and one faint line!!! But before you all get too excited re did later after bought another couple it was a bfn.. however keep bursting into tears so hormones are up the spout.. should have got so opk tests but think probably due to ov.. dtd last night so tubes are cleared out ( his not mine 😉) hopefully energy for dtd again tonight.. hope all is ok with you ladies.. xx

Dip not drip 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Chatbash72 what CD are you? Could it just be that the second test was too dilute for it to show if it’s really early? Don’t think it’s possible to get a positive HPT unless there is some HCG in your system....🤞

Too late chat, we are now all excited!! 😉

@CritterTamer day 43... hadn't even thought about a mid morning wee being too diluted.. will test again tomorrow morning.. I didn't think a false positive but not sure if that's possible just thought a crappy test.. was only a Poundland one.. go through too many to have expensive ones.. xx

Well good luck for tomorrow then - like Weasle said we are all now excited - we really need a BFP on this thread 😊