Over 40 ttc - summer baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies here's our new thread!

It only takes once!

Hi I hope you don't mind me joining, just wondered if anyone in a similar situation to me or any advise! I am 42 have 3 girls and had a mmc 2 years ago and after a year fell pregnant with my angel boy, he had trisomy 21 but no heart / lung or any problems. He was born 24 April 2018 and died 6 may 2018 ( we still do not know why but possible hospital error ) anyway here I am 11 weeks on and ttc once again. Not to replace him but because time is not on my side and I know can't leave it too long. So it's 11 weeks on and no af as yet and no signs - u don't know if af will come back but am hoping for the concept of you ovulate before af so keep trying. Has anyone had similar situation as in periods took long time to return after angel baby? Chances of getting hpt before af? Sorry and thanks for any advice . Sending positivity to everyone xxx

Hi angel, oh my, I'm so sorry to read your story, I just can't begin to imagine what you have all been through.
I haven't really got an answers to your questions but are you using the ovulation sticks? I've also found the temping quite useful too....

@weasledee thanks for your reply , when we were ttc after the mmc I did ovulation sticks , temping and everything. Got so stressed that gave up trying and low and behold fell pregnant with Ollie ! I am trying not to be obsessive like I was before but keep testing hpt as no af and just get the blank whiteness of the tests back! I think the ovulation tests may be wise but thought should wait until af appears when ever that will be ! Xxx

Sorry Critter i meant to say that's interesting about the sperm! "Unless it gets used in other ways" lol 😄
Weasle.. Yes i know what you mean about things going off dramatically. .in my case i put it down to age. As cleo says it only takes once for the bfp to happen and with ds we only dtd once possibly twice in one cycle. Now things seem very different.
Angel. .welcome and i am so very sorry to hear of your loss. .your angel baby. Sending you lots of healing vibes and baby dust your way xx

Hi @Angelbabyollie
I am so sorry for your terribly sad loss... I have not been through it personally but my best friend has gone through similar. He little boy had downs and a poorly heart but died due to hospital complications.. she wanted another it was just a feeling she had and she did go on to have another little boy but struggles with her periods taking a long while to come back.. but she just kept dtd but I can ask her how long before her periods came back.. but I would imagine the hormones can take at least 3-6 months after delivery as you have a lot on board and I know you are worried about the time aspect but be gentle to yourself too.. the emotional aspect is something that my friend hadn't fully realised and is struggling with a new baby and her grief.. sending big big hugs 💕

@Chatbash72 thank you, my mum had a full term still born and she said the only way she got over it was when she was pregnant with me. I long to cuddle my baby Ollie but know that can't be, just trying to focus on the future. If you don't mind asking your friend that would be great but it good to here it was possible to have a rainbow baby. I am trying to stay relaxed about it all but wary of my age. Thank you xxxxx

Hi ladies just checking in. Been busy moving home and all things ttc have taken a back seat. Briefly reading re frequency of dtd and conception, when we fell pregnant we did it 3 times max, 2 properly over fertile week. Got me thinking that, in terms of his part, less is more? Surely all the unused swimmers cant be good lingering about...i dont know but there might be something in it. Last month we dtd at the right times going by ov signs and opk but nowt! Less is more will be this months strategy 😁 plus we are knackered from moving halfway across the country so it will work in our favour

Morning everyone, update from me. Tests slowly faded into nothing. Blood this morning. Ah well :(

@Cookiewaffle I’m so sorry it turned out to be a CP. this whole ttc thing really is shit 😔 take extra good care of yourself and your DH today. Sending hugs your way xxx

@Angelbabyollie - welcome to the group. I cried when I read your story about your loss. You will find lots of friendly support from the ladies here.

@minime2017 - congrats on the house move! Hope you’re settling in well.

AFM, my body is totally screwed up from the IVF cycle 😔 CD11 and no signs of impending ovulation at all. Had EWCM (but -OPKs) on CD8 & 9, now nothing and still negative OPKs which would normally be high from CD9. Also have severe ovary and uterus pain which is a bit scary. Starting to think the whole thing wasn’t worth it if it’s messed my body and cycles up 😔

Ohhhhh CookieWaffle so sorry to here faded tests.... sending big hugs...
CritterTamer can you just regularly dtd just to keep some swimmers in the tubes?

Cookie sorry to hear it didn't work out this time. Gutting.
Angel so sorry to hear what you have been through, utterly heartbreaking.
Minime we tend to go for the less is more approach. Every other day just in fertile week normally.
Critter cd11 is still early so I wouldn't panic quite yet. Maybe its just pushed things back a bit?
I had a weird one today. Had ewcm and line is getting darker on opk (which is great!) But my cbfm said low... not quite sure whats going on there. What do I trust?

@Cleozeta what is cbfm ?
I'd go with the ewcm... and dtd tombe on safe side ..

Clear blue fertility monitor.
Yeah I think you are right chat, I'll do that!

Hi everyone,

Angel - welcome and so sorry about Ollie. You deserve some happier times, for sure. My Nan got pg 2 months after her first child so it can happen very quickly. Good luck!

Cleo, does that mean that the monitor hasn’t detected the oestrogen rise yet? Presume it’s on its way if the opk lines are getting darker so worth starting dtd.

Sorry about your CP Cookie, I feel your pain!

@angel, so sorry for your loss and wishing you lots of luck in the

@cookie bad me about af arriving

@critter feeling your annoyance against being cd10/11 & not a sign of anything ov related. My body hates me. Going to try dtd tonight, done nothing since Tues.

Checking in late as DS has been using my phone as a car park and refused to let me have it back. .Gotta love him!

Cookie.. Sorry to hear about your faded tests. Take encouragement from the fact it happened. .it can happen again. Take care Cookie

Critter...how are your pains now?

Hi all hope everyone is well been MIA for the past week due to family staying over and wanting to be out sightseeing ALL the time! has been a good distraction however!

@cookie , sorry for AF arriving
welcome @angel and @lezzo

@critter our bodies are truly a mindf**k!

@booseysmom, hope you're well

Yes Sharon Marshalls news is truly encouraging and so happy for her. Well after my first ever time beg late and 20 days late at that AF was here with a vengence for 6 days, never had such a heavy period! back to trying DTD from tomorrow but I am now seriously going to research IVF (abroad) at 43 and TTC for 2 years I feel I need to stop burying head in sand!

@alibaba how are you?

Thanks everyone for the

Well the advice to dtd to be on the safe side was spot on, as today I got a peak, and a temp dip, meaning ovulation is happening today on cd12. It seems to have been sudden this time, I've never gone straight from low to peak on the monitor before with no high. And cd12 is early, so not sure what's going on there. I hope my overies are not packing up!! Although very pleased ov is actually happening, meaning I can relax and enjoy my holiday next week.
Going to get back to TCM in september and look into IVF & IUI

Lets - what do you think happened to your af last cycle? Do you think it was anovulatory? Or a chemical? 20 days late is a lot!

Cookie - I'm glad dp has been so supportive, that really helps. When I had my mmc in May, having dh there to say we'll try again and being so positive about things really helped. Fingers crossed for next time

Hi all
Welcome @Angelbabyollie - sorry you have had such a heartbreaking time - I cant imagine how difficult it has been for you . To have known and loved your baby but to lose him, there are no words ... x
@CookieWaffle - so sorry about your CP - it's hard getting hopes up for them to be dashed x
@CritterTamer - the cycle immediately after my IVF cycles has always been longer ( usually I'm about 25 days, cycles immediately post failed ivf have been more like 31 days) - think it takes time for the the hormones to come out your body so you will prob ovulate later - if you do. I def had anovulatory cycles twice - as was temping so could see my temps were totally erratic so think it's normal to take time to recover. Do you know when they will do your next cycle yet?

AFM - my period came on Friday - it's an odd one as it's light for me and there is quite a lot of mucous too (Sorry tmi) think it might just be remains of stuff coming out from miscarriage? I still haven't tested to make sure that tests are negative, I probably should.

We haven't tried this month since the ERPC due to me being tender and the bleeding and my DH being crippled! I'm hoping that everything is reset now and will start temping etc again now to see ifs an try again this month.

Re the frequency thing - I wonder about it as one thing IVF did for me was it sadly put me off DTD completely - have to make myself... its not like I don't enjoy it once I start, but it seems to have robbed me of my desire sadly - I think it's cos whenever we do it then puts that 'is this the time it might work' pressure on us... I don't know. Honestly I do feel sometimes that carrying on 'trying' takes a strength that I sometimes don't feel I have, if that makes sense? Feeling a bit miserable about it all. My DS finishes nursery next week and starts school soon & I just didn't think he'd still be an only child by now . Ug.

Hope others are feeling more positive x

Hi Lets, I’m ok thanks. Nothing to report, no post-ov aches and pains like last month. But pre-ov hormones felt good. Waiting for prog to peak - no signs of that yet. x

@Cookiewaffle - I hope your pain is easing up now and that you and DH are looking after each other. Glad you’re still feeling positive about keeping trying 😊

My ovary pain is getting better - they still feel swollen and tender but the awful pain and not being able to move has gone now thank goodness.

@Hobbes39 - thanks for the info on your experience - it helps to know it’s normal to be screwed up! That crap doctor told me to expect AF as normal late July so I’ve been panicking that the down reg has shut everything down and up its not starting back up again! Normally I would ovulate on CD13 which is tomorrow, but as of today still low readings on CB OPKs, CM is seriously weird and all over the place, boobs still ache and just feel generally crap - definitely no nice pre-ov oestrogen high that I would normally have on day 12 😔 if everything starts back up again soon I’m not going to be cycling again until early October which just sucks 😔

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down Hobbes, I know exactly what you mean and I’ve only had 1 failed cycle so far. In my case that awful consultant squashed all the positivity I had out of me in just one 20 minute appointment, and to be honest i don’t really have any hope anymore. The experience has made me quite guilty, bitter and angry, especially towards my own body which I feel hate for now. I think this has a massive impact on our relationships and desire/ability to DTD so I get where you’re coming from with the pressure thing.

I have decided to try fertility/IVF acupuncture for this next cycle, together with Endo scratch so at least we can say that we tried everything. To be honest I wish we had just gone straight for donor eggs when we had the money but finding another £8k for that now is out of the question so these last two IVF cycles will be it.First acupuncture session is tomorrow and they tell me they can really help with the emotional negativity side of things so I’m really hoping I’ll feel better afterwards 😊 @Hobbes39 have you decided whether to try another IVF cycle or Not? The evil consultant told me that “over 40 we really should have very little expectation of it working, we just need to keep plugging away at it!” As if we don’t need to keep finding £5k every time we ‘plug away’ and it doesn’t destroy us emotionally, physically and financially each time! Really the guy was an idiot 😔

Sorry for the negative rant all - just need to get it out somewhere xxx

Hi all, just a quick one as i'm super busy at the mo.
Critter - i'm so sorry to hear how down you are and out of hope. I really think you need to attempt to block what that awful man said from your mind and attempt to regain the positivity. I know i keep harping on about it but please look at the Fertileheart website and read all the stories on there. Her books are amazing too for giving hope and tips and tricks too.

Hope all you ladies are well, i've still no cycle. 50 days and counting since last AF. I'm currently looking into Hypothalamic Amenhorea which is where your cycles stop from either being stressed or underweight and/or over-exercising. Sadly i fit the bill. Of course it could just be menopause too:-/ but i'm only 42!

Evening everyone, it's been a while since we had a list - welcome Angel, Leezo and Monday

Alibaba: 42, dds 8 & 6, ttc 2 years
Angel: 42, 3 dds, angel boy Ollie
Apple: 42, mmc, tfmr, chemical, mc, ttc#1 three years
AtrocityNeedles: 44, ttc#1
Booseys: 46, ds, ttc 2.5-3 years
Chat: 45, 5dc, 3 mc, 1 cp
Chendy: 40, poss thinking about ttc#3
Claire: 44
Clara: 45, ttc #3
Cleo: 41, dc 5 & 7, mmc May, ttc 15 months
Cookie: 40, ttc#1, 3 months
Critter: 40, ttc#1, doing IVF
Dicky: 40, ttc#3
Eloisa: 45, dc 4, ttc 2 years
Emma: 41, ttc#1, mc in May
Emmalou: 42, dc 17, 10, 6
Faith: 43, dd 3.5, 2 mc, ttc 2 years
Helbelle: 42, mmc at 40, dd 14 months, BFP!!!
Hmmm: 41, 1dc, ttc 1 month
Hobbes: 41, ds 5, ttc 3.5 years, ectopic, IVF, cp, 2 mcs
Karigan: 40.5, ttc 7 months, 1 mc
Lapsed: 43, ttc #1
Letsdothis: 43, ttc #1
Leezo: 39, ttc #1, 1 mc, 1 cp
LittleMimosa: 42, dc 5 & 7, ttc 18 months
Matts: 48, dc 11 & 6, 4 cps
Mellongoose: 42, dd 3.5, ttc 2 years
Minime: 41, ttc #1 for 23 mths, 1 cp and 1 mc in march
Mondaycando: 44, ds 8 & 7
Nor: 44, ds 3, Patau's loss, ttc #2
Orchid: 41, dc 2.5, ttc >1 year, mc June
PollyIndia: 43, ds, ttc 18 months
Presh: 39, ttc#1, mmc 2017, Graves disease
Shiny: 40, dd 3, tfmr 2017, mc April
Sparrow: 43(?), ds 1.5, doing IVF
Weasle: 42, dc 7 & 5, 2 mcs 2017, cp in March