Mimosa I totally understand where you are coming from, I felt exactly the same last year, and still do sometimes, although for the time being I have a modicum of hope which is something. You WILL get that hope back. Your cycles will get back on track and there will still be a chance for you. But I totally understand that when you are feeling like this during a difficult cycle it is hard to see beyond it. I went through exactly what you are going through and still got a bfp afterwards. Find some suppliments which will help you get back on track. I think as you are low on oestrogen, soy isoflavones may help you, as they can pick that back up again. Maybe one or two cycles on those could help once af returns.
Chat - wow you are super busy! I think I would rum out of steam well before ov if I did that! Haha. I use opk's etc but don't tell dh when its 'time', I just instigate then, so it's still natural and fun. We tend to do every other day for just the time through ov, so normally from the arrival of ewcm or a faint opk line to the day or so after temps have confirmed ov.
I am also currently midcycle, had a rise this morning and +opk yesterday so think I should be in 2ww now but will probably dtd once more to be sure. This cycle was really nice and smooth with no drama's, only concerns this time (there is always something) was my ewcm was brown, and ov seemed to happen a day later, as it normally happens 1st day of peak, this time it was 2nd day of peak, and there was no pre ov dip for the first time ever. But I'm not worried, in comparisson to previous months it was pretty smooth! Time to relax. I love the 2ww.