TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

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A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

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[Pancakes7]

@Murderino Good idea to keep busy. You can start planning your decor. Get paint/ wallpaper and carpet samples? We are starting to do up our house the end of June. Excited to start that, it'll keep me busy and something else to think about. Been saving up to do it. We have been doing our front garden the last few weekends which is also a good distraction.

[Pampl3m0usse]

@Anyday88 I feel exactly the same. I reckon I'm 10 or 11dpo and got the faintest line in a clearblue early test this morning but I'm convinced it was an evap.
had sore boobs for days which I've only ever had as a pregnancy symptom but this is my first cycle after stopping breastfeeding. also in excruciating pain cramp wise, enough to rival the day I miscarried which is worrying me. is this normal first af after miscarriage? sorry it'selike 100 questions xx

[KnitKitty]

Boboelephant to me your TTW seems to be going really fast but I bet it feels like forever to you!!! What are you doing to help the time go by? Meditation is helping me tremendously too. I feel so much calmer this cycle than last. And yes, it is good to get to know your body and cycle. I'm trying to see this TTC time as a blessing to be able to have a better understanding of my body. I stopped taking the pill in December and had a period about 30 days afterwards (I think I did ovulate that month but with Christmas and other family celebrations going on we didn't really JKS) and somehow in January I got pregnant straight away. At the time I was fully expecting it to take a long few months or never to happen what with having the endometriosis, womb abnormality and one ovary so I was just in utter shock when it happened, but it meant I never got to know my cycles properly so I'm focusing my attention on getting to know my body better again now.

Murderino I have a sewing machine too. My dad got it for me for my birthday a couple of years ago and I've been too afraid to use it. While going through my MMC it was a brilliant distraction and helped me focus on something positive to do. I've not done much with it since, but I'd like to. I do a lot of knitting and crochet too.

Maydot Hi cycle buddy! Not sure how long Hidcat's cycles are but she may be around the same time as us too? It's easier said than done, isn't it, trying not to stress too much? Do you have any methods to stay chill?

Pampl3m0usse Have you had a negative since your MC? Could it be residual HCG from then? I guess you'll be testing again in a few days time to see if the line has got darker? Please keep us updated. I don't really get period cramps much these days but I did get cramping when I was pregnant... Fingers firmly crossed for you!

[Cleozeta]

Pample I am having cramps too at 10dpo before 1st af. I have heard 1st af can be heavier and more painful.
Will you do another test tomorrow? Hopefully your test today was not an evap. I'm tempted to test too, although I'm not convinced I'll see what I want to see

[clairehr]

Jumping on board just to try and maintain some sanity.

I have had 1 MC, 2 Chemicals in the last 13 months, and got my BFP on Thursday at 12DPO.

Still super early days obviously, got doctors appointment a week tomorrow (furious that they wouldn't see me earlier, but hey ho), but absolutely terrified right now as symptoms I had have all disappeared like the last few times. Still getting lines on tests, but not got darker yet.

[Laney79]

Ok-opk gurus I need your advice!

On hols in Greece, And it's 30+ degrees so trying not to drink too much/hold your wee is hard for opks.

I've got CB digital opks, and IC's. I e been doing CB ones with fmu as otherwise I'd struggle not to pee for 4 hours!

The CB one this morn was negative, but my ic this afternoon was a clear positive...so does that mean I'm ovulating now? Or will it be tomorrow? Best time to jump on my fella? We did DTD yesterday afternoon - but I'm guessing now I have a positive then we need to again to maximise chances? Will tomorrow be too late?

Thanks lovelies!

[DaisyMay25]

@Laney79 I can't even imagine having to stick to opk schedule on holiday! Positive today means you'll probably ovulate tomorrow if you can try dtd tonight and tomorrow (night after too if you can) just to cover everything!

[Boboelephant]

@KnitKitty haha you're right. Doesn't feel quick for me! 😂 I'm trying to do yoga as much as possible and also doing headspace. Also trying to just focus on breathing and good thoughts when I can. Work for the next 3 days which helps as I'm always crazy busy- downside of doing a fulltime job in 3 days! I went to a baby shower today which was bittersweet. I'm thrilled for my friend but she is due 5 days before I should have been and another girl there due 2 days later. Tough seeing them both 8 months pregnant and me not pregnant yet. Ah well. I'm trying to remain positive that it will happen and there is a reason for this.
@clairehr tentative congratulations and I hope this is a sticky bean for you.
@Laney79 when you get a positive IC ovulation is 12-48 hours later. So likely it will be tomorrow. Try and jks if you can tonight, but tomorrow should be good too. Both if possible!!!

[Boboelephant]

Haha @DaisyMay25 jinx!!!

[Maydot]

@Knitkitty I haven’t got any real methods, just keeping super busy at work and trying to eat healthy and lose some weight, I’m also forcing myself to the gym atleast 3 times a week! I’m trying to use this time before my next pregnancy to prepare myself a little better as it happened much quicker than we expected last time.
We’re getting a lot of jobs done round the house, having some weekends away and planning a nice holiday too.
I’m just trying to stay as calm and positive as possible. My DP is a few years younger than me and very calm about it, he’d quite like us to fall pregnant again after the summer. I however am a lot more worried about things going wrong and time being against me, especially with my only 2 pregnancies ending in miscarriage. I know i’m going to be checking my ovulation like a crazy woman!!
You’re TTC number 1 too aren’t you? How’s your other half with it all!??

[Anyday88]

So Af is in full swing now! Onwards to next month! It feels so crap as it is early this month and was late last month. I think I’m struggling too as we got pregnant quickly with my other children and my mc so just feels like another kick in the teeth (silly I know) doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself I am being ridiculous!

Hope everyone else is having a better day 😊😊

[Pampl3m0usse]

@Cleozeta I think probably not. I'm going to try and just wait for her to show as the whole am I or aren't I is stressing me out. plus busy week at work (DH and I have decided I will actually leave at Christmas whether Im pregnant or not because events finally came to a head on Friday and it's now totally intolerable... this also means I'm not under pressure to get pregnant to get out iyswim.... ) I think AF will rear her ugly head shortly anyway judging by the pains...
@KnitKitty yes I've had a negative text and positive OPKs so I think I'm at least in the clear in that regard. otherwise I'd be seriously considering "retained products"...

[Pampl3m0usse]

@Anyday88 I wrote you a whole message and now it's vanished. anyway it basically said at least you're still on CD1 and a fresh start if it wasn't too be positive this month. although i can totally understand not feeling that way and think I'll grieve all over again when mine arrives. but thinking of you lots and hoping for a gentle few days for you xxx

[Pampl3m0usse]

oh and that was it. my daughter took 15 months to conceive (I was only 26!) but DS and DD2 were pretty much instant and the one I lost wasn't even planned (one and only ever contraception failure). So I should be optimistic but instead I'm focusing on the experience with DD1 and my increasing age!

[Anyday88]

@Pampl3m0usse thank you so much, so many emotions at the moment any just trying to be positive and look forward to fertile window. Kind of feel like I am wishing my life away though!
I really hope you have some good news! Xx

[HidCat]

@Pampl3m0usse my PMs on first af was horrific. Never known anything like it. 2nd wasn't as bad but still lots of cramps, gassy, nausea sore boobs and stabbing pains. I hope it settles down soon for you.

@KnitKitty and @Maydot I have slightly long cycles at 32 - 35 days so FW starts around the 18th for me with ovulation predicted around 23rd. Having said that I'm still spotting from my period (spotted from 1st June, heavier 5th then kicked in heavily on 7th), every time I think it's settling it starts up again! Have a feeling my cycle will be a bit off this month as a result. Will JKS and see what happens!

@Murderino I need to dust off my sewing machine. Been thinking about trying to make a changing bag for myself (assuming I get pregnant again obvs).

@clairehr hoping for good news tomorrow!

[ek78]

Marking my place!
I was away this weekend and am WAY behind on this thread already but wanted to say thanks to everyone who posted kind messages after my upsetting phonemail from the midwives last week. xx

[Pampl3m0usse]

@HidCat that's helpful to know. I never have sore breasts before AF but they've been excruciating for days now... and the lower back pains are identical to those when I was miscarrying :( just have to hope I get it over with shortly... taking my nursery class on a farm trip Thursday/Friday so not looking forward to infrequent access to toilets if this really kicks off!!! xx

[KnitKitty]

clairehr I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you. Welcome to the group.

Boboelephant I would not have enjoyed that baby shower one bit, well done for being so brave and stoic. It's important to be there for friends but my goodness it's hard when they have what we could have.

Maydot yes I am trying for no.1. I've been broody as hell for about 2 or 3 years and OH wasn't ready. He told me about a year ago that he'd be happy for me to come off the pill after my 30th birthday so I could enjoy that properly. He seems very chill about the whole thing and is very much of the mind that it will happen when the time is right. He took the MC hard in terms of seeing me go through it but I don't think it registered on his radar as losing a baby in particular as he hasn't experienced being a dad yet and as he put it, it's losing the potential rather than a person with a personality, and since he hasn't put too much thought in to what it will mean to be a family and have a child, I don't think he really realises what he's lost. (Although he was very excited when I was pregnant and impatient to tell everyone). So we haven't really seen eye-to-eye with the emotions of it all but he has been extremely supportive and lovely.
It's great that you're seeing this time as an opportunity to get your body in shape. When are you going on holiday?
You know what they say; third time lucky! :) I really hope it happens for you soon. xxx

Anyday88 Sorry AF got you. Congrats on starting a new cycle though, this could be the one! Give yourself a treat this evening and relax. xxx

Pampl3m0usse this is potentially exciting news then! I really hope that line gets darker and AF stays away. Fingers crossed for you. xx

Hidcat I had an odd AF this time too. Bled a bit one day, nothing the next, then two days of really heavy followed by almost nothing and then brown started up again for a few days. (Not sure if this could have been due to CP). Not sure if my cycle will be weird too, so will JKS too!
A changing bag sounds like a good project to do. I've only managed cushions and an apron with my sewing machine so far.
I started crocheting some bunting for a baby room when I was TTC before MMC but I haven't had the heart to get back to it yet. Also made a little ball. I might feel ready to start up again soon.

[DaisyMay25]

@Boboelephant haha we seem to always be on the same page about opks! I'm 1dpo finally, not sure how I'll cope! How many dpo are you?

[Pampl3m0usse]

@KnitKitty I think unlikely now :( have a very upset tummy (usual march towards AF) and awful cramps (not so usual but presumably post MC!)... I think my hormones are probably all over the place. Goodness knows how I thought I could conceive this month :(
If it helps at all DH was the same about our loss.... and we have three DC already. It was just never 'real' for him as he wasn't physically feeling it. I think its a bit the same with the 2WW really.... and he's more confident than me that it will happen when it happens....and that it will in the end!

[Boboelephant]

@Anyday88 sorry af got you. Fingers crossed for next month. I have a similar issue. I fell pregnant first month with both DS and the EP so this past 18 months has been very unexpected!
@Pampl3m0usse I also went from having totally painless cycles to awful back and boob pain pre af. They don't tell you about this! I hope yours calms down soon.
@DaisyMay25 welcome to the tww! I'm 6dpo today. 🤞🤞

[Murderino]

@HidCat I love the idea of making baby things - really want to make a quilt but have never done one before 😕

[Pampl3m0usse]

@Boboelephant so helpful to know. It's really annoying isn't it. I hope it doesn't mean the miscarriage has caused any damage :s I was so convinced that there wasn't enough bleeding when I had it IYSWIM.
Actually quite cross I felt like I'd got the miscarriage 'done with' and now I feel like it's all rearing its ugly head again. :(
Thanks to all xxxx

[Primrose16]

Flipping eck there has been soooooo much chat. Just checking in. I’m hanging around still