TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

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A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

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@Boboelephant sorry for the rubbish reply. I'm ok thank you 🙂 Am on holiday at the moment and as I know this months out anyway am trying to use the time to just enjoy myself and not think about it all so much. Am feeling much more positive & happier. My choice of reading material hasn't been great though- first book the handsmaid tale (had heard everyone raving about the tv programmer but no idea what it was about!) & the second I'm on now is a woman dealing with the sudden desire to TTC 🙈 must have been my subconscious in action in waterstones pre holiday book shop!
Good luck tomorrow if you do decide to test! 🤞🍀 Keeping everything crossed for you but here if it's not the result you want 🐧 Your chart does look ace though! 🤞

@Pampl3m0usse @zarala & @HidCat sorry you guys haven't been feeling well. Hope you all make swift recoveries!

@KnitKitty having a month out may be really good- I'm definitely finding it therapeutic! Though at the same time can't wait to TTC again soon.

@Lilimum4 @sweetpea0318 sorry for the BFN's -hugs 🐧 -here's hoping July is the month!

@YellowDaffodils86 & @RedRobin7 good luck for the 2ww - stay strong! 💪 everything crossed for you both!

@Cakelaur glad everything is going well! Gives me hope! @hayleyfx how are you getting on? How far along are you now?

@strawberrye I hope you find the time to JKS! I can relate with the work struggles getting in the way of TTC it sucks!

Sorry anyone else I've missed - I've not been checking up regularly this week and by the time I've managed to catch up I forget who says what sometimes! 🙈

@Boboelephant normal to feel scared. Only test if you feel it's right for you, there's no pressure. Just lots of love!
If you're 11dpo tomorrow then it may not be positive anyway, I didn't get a bfp until 12dpo at 11.30pm, and that was a very very faint one 🤞🤞

@Boboelephant i think its due tue/wed.
I reckon ill break over the weekend.
Thank you. However id happily trade mine for yours. Im sure i could possibly manage another month or two before i go completely loopy! You deserve a healthy sticky bean!

@Jessabean I’m alright thanks, 6+3 today, symptoms are starting to properly hit me now which I’m hoping is a good sign but who knows 🤞 got a scan on Tuesday at 5pm so I’m ridiculously scared, I’m desperate to see a little heartbeat so keeping everything crossed it goes well. I hope you’re doing okay with your month off and having a lovely holiday! 😊

To everyone testing soon, I’ve got everything crossed for you all!

@MrsGS76 Haha it is very hard to be nice for a whole week 😂 My DH says the same after we've DTD about having 3wks off! I said if I conceive and we are successful then he can have a couple of years off 😂 He knows I'm only interested in one thing these days... baby! 🤷🏻‍♀️

@YellowDaffodils86 Oh that's good if you have things happening that you haven't before. Fingers crossed it's a sign! I'm sure if time went any slower it would stop! Today at work I saw another pregnant lady on the floor and I felt so sad but then thought this time next week I could be pregnant again and won't feel sad about other pregnant people so much. God if it's negative I think I'll want to set up camp in the toilets permanently just to avoid all the pregnant ladies in the office.

@Jessabean Thank you 😊 Hope you are feeling a little relaxed in the sunshine. Make the most of your holiday and hopefully when you return you will feel stronger!

@MrsGS76 i ate the pineapple. I ate about a cup just from 1dpo to 5dpo. I just chopped a thick slice off each day.
@Jessabean thankyou. Enjoy your holiday- despite your book choices! Glad to hear that you're feeling more positive.
@BabynameEdie ahh I thought you had tested earlier! Now I am wondering if I should wait. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Will just have to see what I decide tomorrow!!!
@YellowDaffodils86 that is just the loveliest thing to say. What a gorgeous person you are. I'm literally overcome by your kindness xx
@hayleyfx everything crossed for you for Tuesday 🤞🤞

@boboelephant I am ok thank you for asking, I've been reading a bit but needed to take a step back I've been consumed by ttc looking at opks, fertility monitors, progesterone etc I had a mini break down when one of my work friends announced she was pregnant by accident !!! That's when I realised I needed a step back for a bit ! Feeling hopeful.for this month but then I do most months haha !

Whose testing tomorrow I'm 10po tomorrow so may risk it for a biscuit !

Hi can I join?

I'm Sophie.
28yo.
No children.
I had a complete, natural miscarriage last weekend at 7 weeks exactly.
Haven't actively started ttc yet as still recovering but hoping to start again soon as feeling very lost and empty after the loss.
DH and I desperately want to concieve our first :(

@Spooples welcome to the group, so sorry for your loss. We all understand how you're feeling and hope we can provide some comfort x

@Boboelephant oh god yes I tested from 7dpo onwards! But it only went positive at 12. See how you feel, you can always keep testing xx

Yellowdaffodils86 Yeah, I'm not even sure I'm having a normal cycle anyway if the pregnancy test I took is picking up left over hormones from CP. I'd normally expect to ovulate Sunday or the few days after that, but I haven't had any FW symptoms (except my boobs hurting), CM doesn't look fertile yet, so I'm just assuming I'm out for this cycle. It's actually rather peaceful. Hope you're not finding the wait too awful! I hate the impatience with TTC.

Tedlife Yey! Go get 'em!

Hidcat that does sound sexy! lol! I'm asthmatic and DTD when wheezy is no fun, but a puff of Ventolin can really raise your energy levels!!! lol. Having said that, I've not felt asthmatic for the last month. I came off my steroid inhaler when I fell pregnant in Feb and haven't taken it up again. Briefly suffered a bit more with it after ERPC but was just taking Ventolin when needed but I haven't had it in ages now. :) Are you in FW now or just practising? lol

RedRobin7 I love Headspace! It's so soothing and calming! Yes, he has a nice voice. I'm glad you're feeling in a better place now. Where are you with your cycle right now? Testing soon? Fingers and toes crossed for you!!!

MrsGS76 Good luck with the TTW and staying patient and calm through it. :) My OH can be difficult to convince to DTD sometimes and it's the worst when TTC!

Jessabean yes, it is therapeutic. Not that I'm actively not trying, but I'm not worried if we miss the window this month so I (hopefully) won't be feeling the pressure of the TTW. We did just DTD this evening but it might be too early anyway, and I'm not convinced I'm going to ovulate this month with the weird CP HCG stuff going on. Enjoy your holiday!!! :)

hayleyfx good luck for Tuesday. I'd be shitting myself, so HUGS! Hope everything goes well. Let us know xxx (does time feel like it's crawling for you right now?)

Lovewinemorethanhusband Good luck if you decide to test, but remember it's early days. Sorry about the baby bomb at work. I find I'm constantly looking around me wondering if the other ladies at work are secretly pregnant. It's not nice.

Spooples Sorry you find yourself in this boat, but it's a good bunch of ladies to have around for support. How are you doing? It's still very early days for you. Don't feel you have to rush back in to TTC, but if you want to, go for it. Sorry for your loss. xxx

Having a difficult time this evening. Been at a work function. Pregnant lady and people asking if I have kids. Just set me off. In hotel room having a cry. Phoned DH. I hate feeling like this and being away from him up north. I just want to go home.

@Spooples I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing ok physically and being well looked after. Feel free to talk openly on here. Straight to the middle of the penguin huddle with you. 🐧🐧🐧

@Lovewinemorethanhusband lovely to hear from you. 🤞having a more relaxed month has helped and this is your time.

@KnitKitty it didn't happen unfortunately as I was a bit light headed so primed hubby for tonight. It's great that yours is mor controlled now. I didn't get diagnosed til about 6years ago and have had a couple of chest infections that have sent it out of whack for the last 9mths so taking Fostair 3x a day and salbutamol as and when needed. Cd 11 so getting ready for FW which Ovia says starts Tuesday. Last month we started late due to illness so I think I ovulated the day we first DTD or just after judging by cycle length which was CD 16. Hoping that we can catch it this month by starting earlier.

@Pancakes7 oh hun, I hope you feel a bit better this morning. The best thing you can do is let it out. 🐧🐧🐧

@Lovewinemorethanhusband hello. Sorry you got accidental pregnancy bombed but hope the step back has been what you need. Fx for you.
@Spooples welcome and so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve and hope you find some comfort here.
@BabynameEdie I remember you testing for ages but still thought you got yours about 10dpo. That was dedicated testing!
@Pancakes7 so sorry you had a tough night. I hope having a good cry made you feel a bit better! xx

So I decided not to test this morning as I'm pretty certain now it's going to be a bfn and didn't need to stark proof. My temp dropped this morning and ff is now calling it a downward trend which is not common on pregnancy charts. I feel as gutted as if I saw the evil whiteness of the test. I just don't know what else I could have done and don't understand why this has to be so hard!! Everyone around me seems to have huge bumps and be pregnant with or giving birth to their third babies and I'm facing 2 upcoming due dates and a few months off saying I've been trying for 2 years. Into the middle with me. I just feel devastated.

Oh @Boboelephant I'm really sorry. How many dpo are you? Any chance it might be like some ladies on here and you are a late implanter?

Sending you huge hugs xxx

@Boboelephant I know it feels so crap when you become certain it's not going to happen but try not to write it off until af shows.

I wish I could say something to make you more optimistic but this whole ttc thing is such a shit show, I can't.

If it's not this month don't lose hope.

I'll stay positive for both of us if you like - do something nice for yourself today xxx
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@Boboelephant I'm so sorry, life is so cruel sometimes. It's possible you shouldn't rule yourself out yet though. Our bodies sometimes don't always follow the norm. We are all here for you and you can lean on us.

Do you have to work today? If so, maybe call in sick and be kind to yourself. Thinking of you xx

Thankyou @Laney79, @Murderino and @RedRobin7. I know I'm probably being a bit dramatic as I haven't tested or got af but I just feel like all my hope disappeared. The stupid thing is I didn't want to test early as I didn't want to feel disappointed and then have all these 'Oh maybe it's just too early thoughts. And now I still have them!! I'm 11dpo and af should be due Sunday so not too long to wait. Thanks for your thoughts, no work today and a busy day tomorrow so that's something. Hugs to you all x

@Boboelephant ❤️

@Boboelephant I'm sorry you're feeling so disheartened. 2 yrs is a long time TTC so I can only imagine how hard it is. Try to keep positive. People do have temp dips around implantation so hopefully it's that. Lots of penguins hugs for you 🐧🐧🐧

@Boboelephant I'm sorry you feel shit babe. If this IN any way helps... both times I gave up just before AF and felt shit I got my bfp. So maybe giving up is the way forward! Also I had downward trend on FF this time round. Have you stopped progesterone yet?? Or are you stopping on Sunday? Sending massive hugs. Xx

@boboelephant big hugs but as others said you are not out until af shows.

Thanks @L1zz13, @HidCat and @Cakelaur.
@Cake I'm still using the progesterone cream and was planning to until af arrives. Well I'll hope for a miracle but not feeling very hopeful. xx