TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

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A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

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@boboelephant So sorry. But you're not out yet, fingers crossed it was a blip on your temp chart.

@pancakes7 so sorry you're having a hard time. It's so shit all of this. Hope you feel bit better today.

@spooples sorry you find yourself here. Be kind to yourself - it does get easier with time although I know that doesn't help right now.

I still haven't started af but sure it's imminent. Hasn't stopped me googling various 'what if' scenarios the past few days - aargh! Just wish I could switch all this off for a little break sometimes! Going to see the gynaecologist today about my polycystic ovary so hoping they may have some advice or something useful (not holding out much hope though as I'm pretty sure they're going to say there's nothing I can do).

Lots of love and penguin cuddles to all today x 🐧 🌺

@sweetpea0318 @Boboelephant @HidCat thanks for the messages. Didn't get to sleep till gone 1am. Still feeling low this morning but ok. I just find it hard to accept sometimes. It's only been 3 weeks today since my smm. I just want to be pregnant again.

@Boboelephant Sorry you're feeling like it's not your month but you never know. Wait till your af is late if it is then test. Fx for you and big hugs.

Pancakes Hugs!!! It's totally normal to have major dips after MC every so often, especially when it didn't happen that long ago. You're doing really well. Just ride the waves. xxx

Boboelephant I'm sorry you feel so shit. Like others have said, it's not over yet. We're all here for you either way. I totally understand why you've lost hope, but we're all still sitting here hoping away for you. Be kind to yourself today. Do some yoga, have a treat and relax. xxx

sweetpea0318 good luck at the gynae. I always get nervous before appointments like that. Hope you're feeling ok.

Thank @knitkitty I'm really nervous & currently sat in the car park trying to psych myself up to go in! It doesn't help that this is where I had to come when going through the mc - it's not the nicest place to come back to & I'm worried about seeing lots of preg ladies having their normal check ups... Hope it's all worth it!!

@Pancakes7 Sorry to hear you're struggling. It's always so much harder when people say things without considering they're being insensitive. Not nice for you to be away from you DH and not have him to cuddle you. Hope you have a better day today.

@KnitKitty I'm 7 or 8 dpo - bit confused which day I ovulated but I will test on Tuesday morning. I nearly forgot to do Headspace last night, even though I'd mentioned it! Ended up doing it with lights out and DH trying to sleep next to me. I then had a sneezing fit of 6 in a row and we both ended up laughing 🙈 I manage fine when he's not there!

@sweetpea0318 Hope you get some answers today. Let us know how you get on! I have mild PCOS (no cysts), diagnosed 6 years ago but nobody takes me seriously. Even the midwives didn't want to write it down when I was pregnant! I was persistent. The amount of body hair I get and the acne I've had for 15 years shows my hormones are all over the place!

@YellowDaffodils86 How are you today? I've woken up with a cold which I know is common when you conceive. I was ill for a whole month when I was pregnant in Jan. Trying not to read into it as it's probably just germs from the plane I was on on Sunday and the fact I'm run down because I haven't had a decent sleep in over two weeks!

Boboelephant - Try not to read too much into temps alone, its easy to get carried away analysing every temp, but its not always 100% accurate or even really meaning much. I found I did that and it was just too stressful so now I use temping to confirm ovulation, then stop. There is always hope until af arrives. Good luck

@KnitKitty thank you hun, I’m terrified but fingers crossed I’ll have good news to share 🤞 & yeah definitely, everyday feels like a week! 😬

@Boboelephant thank you! Sorry you’re feeling so low, I hope you manage to feel more positive soon. I’m still really hopeful for you, you’ve definitely got a good chance this month. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you 🤞

Sorry bobo it's so depressing. Riding out the ttw and then you start to get the feeling that again it hasn't worked.... feel for you but as others have said you're not out until she shows up.....

Thankyou @Blondcat and @Pancakes7.
@sweetpea0318 thanks hun. How'd you go with the gynae? What dpo are you now? Will you test?
@KnitKitty, @cleozeta, @hayleyfx and @weasledee thankyou!!! This group of ladies really are all an amazing support!!
Sending everyone lots of hugs and crossed fingers xxx

@Boboelephant I thought of you when I woke up this morning. Like others have said, I hope you don't feel undue pressure from the group, we're all in this together and we just want everyone to get their happy bfp but you don't owe anyone anything. Test when you feel ready and we'll be here whatever the outcome.

@sweetpea0318 good luck today, I hope it hasn't been too upsetting for you x

Thanks ladies. Just got back - not sure I t was worth the stress though. Ive had a blood test to confirm whether or not I have pcos but even if I do, there's nothing they can do while I'm ttc! But at least I'll know I guess. He didn't seem concerned though as I get regular periods and have got preg twice. I asked about whether I should be taking extra supplements or doing anything but he said no. I wasn't expecting a miracle though so not that surprised how it all went - I just wanted to know that I've explored every avenue and asked all the questions I can.

@boboelephant no testing needed as spotting.. on to the next month!

Hi all, I've been lurking.. I've felt a bit sulky since my CP. Sorry I'm not replying to everyone, but welcome to the new ladies and sorry for your losses. It's a lovely group.

Two week waiters good luck! I feel like the thread is due a glut of sticky bfps.

Boboelephant So sorry your temp is misbehaving, that must feel so gutting. I think like lots of people I felt so sure this was your month after your marathon. What a shit game this can be, it's really unfair x

KnitKitty hooray for HeadSpace. Totally emphasise with dh sabotaging! Enjoy your month off.

Jessabean lol at packing The Handmaid's Tale! I actually love it (might have guessed from my username!) and find it very cathartic on a bad bfp obsessed day, but woah - massive trigger warning, especially the TV series. Dunno if I'd read it on the beach!! Enjoy your holiday x

I saw my GP today and I've been referred to the recurrent mc clinic. Apt in around 2 months. We're not trying this month but might try next month, currently undecided. I'm only 28 and have time, but I'm starting to think with 4 mcs in 5 cycles I might be hyperfertile with jiffy eggs. It sounds awful but I'm trying to accept this as reality to soften the blow.

@Spooples sorry for your poss.

@KnitKitty its good you are finding it peaceful. Cant wait for tww to be over ethier way. Really does feel like you go round in circles.

@RedRobin7 pregnant ladies and babies do seem to be everywhere. I do feel feel like iv been 9dpo for a week!!
A cold sounds promising, however like you say could be other reasons. So frustrating.
I dont feel too bad today, just waiting it out. There are a few symptoms lingering about bit at the same time i wonder if they are really there. I imagine just hormones.
If its a bfn this month, at least i can drink cocktails on holiday!!🍹

@Boboelephant You never know one way or the other, until af shows you wont truly know the outcome. Its frustrating and shit but we are all here whichever way it swings.

I constantly wonder how the hell do so many women end up pregnant after a one night drunken stand go knows where!
Especially as Others do all the different planning and added extras and yet can still take months! 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️

@Spooples that was obviously meant to say loss. X

@SerenaOverjoyed does your username really come from handmaids tale? Love the show, haven't read the book yet.

It does! I feel quite empathetic towards horrible Serena Joy..

@SerenaOverjoyed LOVE The Handmaid's Tale but with moving house I've got a bunch of the second season still to catch up on. The book is brilliant though, so heartbreaking and moving. Despite it not being so cheery, hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway @Jessabean!

I'm about to start my TWW - what are everyone's opinions of drinking during it? I'm not talking about a huge night out but the odd glass of wine? I have a friend visiting and in two minds as to whether I just tell her we're trying or try to conceal it...

@boboelephant love, logged on to see how you were & glad you went with your instinct but equally gutted for you; just hope you're feeling smothered with support whatever the next few days bring. Sending all love xx

Hugest squishes and thanks to all for lovely words and advice, I promise I will follow it and make an appt soon. Feel very ambivalent about how far we pursue the intervention route before considering alternatives but might as well make a start. Feels very grim to be formally acknowledging we're struggling. Still in limbo at PIL's waiting for maybe house move & huge change in location so might hold off until I can get registered in a new area.

You ladies are the bomb, thank you again x x hope everyone has a good weekend shaping up & will have a proper catch up on everything asap x

@TedLife I read on here once to drink until it's pink and I think that's the way to do it if you're not going to get wasted. My DH and I shared a bottle of wine last weekend but not had a drink since.

If you're close to that friend then you could just tell her but I find having too many friends knowing puts more pressure on you! Mine start texting me asking if I've tested yet but I'd rather they didn't as it's up to me to tell them what I want when I want!

Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness. Turns out I didn't have to wait for long as AF just bloody showed up. Two days early. FFS. Now I'm worried about what having a 10 day LP means on top of everything else. Ahhh I might need a break from thinking about all this. Good luck to the rest of you still in the tww.

@Boboelephant massive hugs babe. No words! Xx

Boboelephant I'm so sorry. AF is a fucking bitch. X

@boboelephant ❤️