TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

Well done Popsy

(was this just to get away from my selfish rant left at the bottom/top of the last one - she says paranoidly If anyone uses access diagnostic OPKs would you mind going back to the old thread briefly -ta).

Congrats on your one month MN anniversary Popsy (even if you found it in not so good circumstances).

Where abouts in London are you (nosy emoticon) ?

Hi wheely I am actually in Hertfordshire but work in London a lot - only an hour by train to Camden. I agree about the costs and confusion. I have not used one of those tests yet as I am too scientifically minded and will get all OCD and try to sue them for malpractise . The big drug companies are basically making a fortune out of us (our mums didn't have them) - they prey on our insecurities.

I am sticking to PG test obsession for now - one first response to go. Going to see if I can hold out until after first post-MC AF to use it but am sure will get desperate over the weekend and pee on that one so can buy more in a secret tezzys raid Sunday morning . Everyone has to have at least one vice (and chocs and Rose don't count in this instance as they are purely medicinal )

p.s. had a heart attack when got an email from an old male colleague saying "Hi popsy" Thought he must have been on MN - heart in mouth, sweaty palms ha ha. I then realised have used the nickname in skype phew!

Oh god -you're absolutely right about costs/confusions of OPKs - they are the devil's invention. I didn't use them to conceive dd or the pg we lost but they both happened quickly. I started using cheapish ones after m/c then gave up because they annoyed me with the 'is the line darker', had a couple of months not using OPKs then saw digital ones so used those for a few months and then someone on here kindly sent me some free ones but did use those alongside the digital ones last month 9).

Then, I got these ones free with some pre-seed but tbh if I had just trusted my body I think this month I would have done better (CM was VERY telling along with the OV pains).

OK, I know I'm stil ranting... will go and stick my head in some cold water...

Hello, may I join this thread? I am having a miscarriage right now (6 wks) but hope to ttc as soon as I am recovered. I hadn't realised how utterly grim the physical experience would be, let alone the emotional side of it.

Hello mrsdarcy. Sorry you're having to join us - hope you are not in too much pain at the moment. Please come on here to vent/asks questions .... unforetunately we've all been there. (hugs).

Hi MrsDarcy (I take it you are married to Colin tight-breeches?). So sorry you have to be here - I was in your position too last month and I feel so much better (not every day but at least once per day ) than I did then. We are here for you - just rant/ask away sending BIG HUGS!
p.s. you'll get loads of info on how we have all been feeling on the old thread (ttc after mc march) - may help you feel that you are not the only one going through this SHIT time?

hi mrsdarcy sorry you are with us . big hugs from me . how are you doing?

wheelybug i used the cheap ultrasensitive or so it says opk strips bought off ebay. sometimes i get a get a positive line but sometimes i don't. you are suppose to get a test line as strong or stronger than the control line for the test to be positive no matter what brand you use. i don't get any ovulation pain or even the proper EWCM, so can't really tell when i ovulate. all very frustrating really. been thinking of buying the clearblue digital ones. i heard they are very good. dh is willing to splurge out on a fertility monitor, he likes gadgets!

Hi all

Mrs Darcy I am having my second miscarriage in 6 months (last one missed, finally had ERPC at 14 weeks, this one v early c 5 weeks).

Am nearly 39 although am lucky enough to have DS 22 months.........

Hi MrsDarcy, so sorry for what you're going through . Please do come and join us and get things off your chest. It's been a real help to me talking to others in the same boat

By the way, DH remarked last night that he thought everyone on the old thread was very intelligent and kind, so give yourselves a pat on the back! He can be a bit of a dour academic and thinks internet forums are a bit 'lightweight' but he was really taken back by everyones support and love. Ok, now I'm making him sound like a hippy.

Wheely- I've not succumbed to the temptation of OPKs yet, much like popsy I fear they could take my level of obsessive behaviour to a whole new level. Impressed you woke up to do your duties last night, this is a ttc thread after all!! Whereabouts in London are you? For some reason, I thought everyone was from up North.

Gilly, thank you for sharing what the counsellor said. I found it really helpful- I am feel life is on hold and can't see why DH is actually working properly (rather than being on MN like me) and planning things that have nothing to do with ttc. It may sound a bit dim, but how do you go about getting a counsellor, do you need to be referred? I think I could do with talking to someone.

MrsMc- how are you holding up today? so sorry about the results. Thank god you persevered and got the GP to test you so at least now you can be looked after. Is DH in a better mood, I hope so as you deserve a big hug.

basil, popsy- any AF joy?

Hi ladies meants to say
MrsMc so sorry about all the medical stuff - hope you are bearing up?
Gilly I love your cousellor - you are saving us all a fortune in "sharing" tee hee
Torres good to have an academics approval - we should all get some kind of "lovely person" certificate (mine will be the paper label off tonights Rose ).

no AF as yet but am feeling muchy better about it as pains are less and brain is allowing me to be excited about things other than getting PG for the first time since MC

popsy- he works on self medication with alcohol for stress so your choice of certificate would be very appropriate!!

bloody hell I have been scuppered
is that not just called "coping with being alive?"
actually i could be a guinea pig for his studies (along with the rest of my family...oh and friends)
I study animals (and humans) moving maybe we could join forces and do a project on "alchohol-induced gait changes in self-medicated MNers?"

haha- love the 'coping with being alive' comment!! will tell DH!

I would be a great subject for that study.

Hi VictorVictoria - welcome ! Sorry to hear your news... feel free to come and join us.

Torres - am in south west London (the 'burbs just outside of Wimbledon). Are you from the big bad city ??

What a lovely welcome - thank you

OK, here are my questions:

This is day 3 of proper bleeding. I lost big clots on Wednesday, including a big piece of tissue (sorry if TMI) so I'm sure the pregnancy is over. The last 2 days have been more like a heavy period. I was 6 weeks pregnant. I feel really exhausted, queasy and hormonal. I'm going to see my GP next Thursday to see if she wants me to have a scan to ensure everything has come away.

So, is this normal and how long will it last for? I didn't realise the physical side of it would be so horrible. I already have 3 children and I lost a baby at 19 weeks 2 years ago, so although I am sad and disappointed, I think (hope) my head will be ok once my hormones have settled down. I know there are other people in far worse situations than this so I don't want to let myself get too upset.

Also, do I have to have a scan?

Thank you for being so welcoming. I'm sorry you have all had to go through this. It's so grim isn't it?

Hi MrsD i felt hormonal and ill for ages - it is awful because it is just a constant reminder of what you have been through i.e. you are no longer PG but you cannot try again til body falls into line. I am only just calming down on this one - last couple of weeks my stress levels were so high I could not sleep at all. Much better today and yesterday though phew!

Thanks Poposy for taking the bull by the horms. I too am an academic and I think you are all just wonderful so there.
Hello Mrsdarcy and VV: so, so sorry about your m/c but you are in good company here. Mine was just over 2 weeks ago and happened at 5 weeks, and I think I am now ovulating. Lots of EWCM, but OPKs have always been misleading for me. The only opnes that are clear IMO are the ones with the smiley faces, but they are so expsnsive. I had no lines yesterday or today but CM everyhwere. Same thing happened last month and I got pregnant so who knows.
VV: I'm 39 too and my GP says the chances of m/c for our age are only slightly higher than if we were younger so don't despair. I too am going for dc 2 so we can try together.

MrsD: I felt hideous for about 10 days, much, much worse than I could ever have imagined. The m/c shook me to the core, but I started to feel better last week, I guess as the hormones settled down. When I had the m/c I couldn't see anything good about life: it was all despair. But slowly, I saw all the good things again: my ds, dh, friends, family, books, food, wine and work and everything else. I'm also trying to be proactive by seeing a homeopath and swimming a lot and that has helped too. The worst moment for me was walking past the baby section of Boots when going to buy towels. I have not cried so much since I was a child . But it has got much better and MS has helped so much.
Nice for me to see some older women here too

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on OPKs BTW. my1stbaby/patkica - I have used the digital (i.e. smiley face ones) ones and they are much better in that you don't have to interpret a line, it does it for you. I think they are worth the money if you are doing OPKs. Also my1stbaby I keep thinking about the monitor but am fairly certain we keep 'hitting' the right time (providing I am ovulating all the time....) so don't think it is worth it.

mrsd - my m/c was around the same time (6 and a bit weeks) and it was mainly like a bad period except more clots. Mine was a while ago now (July) but I what I remember most other than the bleeding, cramps and sadness was the extreme tiredness but I don't think it lasted that long.

I wouldn't have thought you need to have a scan. I went to the docs on a weds, the day after the bleeding started and had a scan on the friday. If you aren't going to the docs till next week the bleeding may well have finished and if you get a negative HPT I would think there would be no need to have a scan if you don't want one. At the end of day, they can't make you have a scan anyway.

Hi victorvictoria- I had a missed mc and an ERPC so I can't help you in that way I'm afraid, but the others seem to have good advice. If you want a scan though do be pushy if you can summon the energy, for me it gave me peace of mind. But as wheely said, you don't have to have one.

wheely- the leafy burbs sound idyllic, I'd love a garden, chickens, goats... ok, perhaps I have unrealsitic expectations f wimbledon! I'm in hackney.

sorry- duh- my message went a bit awry. I meant to say hi to you vv and then the message was an answer to MrsDarcys question.

TFI friday!

Ooh, Torres. We're near(ish) neighbours! I'm in Walthamstow! I lived in Hackney until 18 months ago!

I hope you girls all follow my pattern. Like Popsy, I seem to have turned a corner, and have come out of a month-long fog of depresson and confusion. I"m still fragile, but can think about things for more than five seconds without breaking off to stare into space with a vacant look on my face, or having to go out for a cry at lunchtime. Life is sometimes even fun. So... VV, Mrs D and any other newbies - hang on in there. It does get better...

Blimey herby I could practically wave at you from my window!

Glad to hear the fog has drifted off. Hope you get to enjoy the sunshine this weekend.

torres - ah you describe the south west London idyll perfectly. Am just off to tend the sheep and collect the eggs . Actually, have just bought dd a tomato growing kit - does that count ??