TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

mrsmc and patkica - ooh, it's fun synptom spotting with you!!!!

basil - where's that af of yours?

lissie - have you seen your little niece yet????? how you doing?

i'm feeling upbeat at this moment. and for the first time feel like i can't wait to get going to ttc again. waiting for af - i think that if it follows my old cycle, and if last months' spotitng was in place of af, i'll be due on in about 2 weeks (dd's birthday!!!).

dh will be ever so pleased. he's feeling deprived

not yet, tbh im half dreading it. i know that i should be grateful that i have ds but ive lost 5 babies in the last 18m. i feel so guilty for being so self-absorbed but af is on her way so thats another month that ive failed. and seeing a tiny newborn is going to hurt!

Morning ladies, feeling a little dry mouthed myself this morning - however is cos had a few too many roses last night. Went to a course in London which finished 3 hours before I was meeting friend for tea and sympathy. Only person living nearby is my friend with 2 week baby - just thought sod it I am going to be brave and go and see her. Wasn't too bad really - she slept most of the time (baby not mum ). However, when other friend arrived they got her up and I had to endure holding (very strange I lost all my normal ease with babies) and watching breast feeding and I sudddenly had this out-of-body "get me out of here" moment. We left pretty soon after that and I sobbed my way down the street into a pub (hence the dry mouth). Woke up feeling a bit low today but have done it so very proud!

No sign of my AF yet either basil. Going to speak to the doctor today as is 6 weeks post erpc and don't want to be sitting on something medical that might slow up ttc even more

Love to hear the symptom spotting MrsMc and Patkica. I had all those symptoms days after getting PG but also after ERPC so I can't trust those symptoms at all anymore . Its really exhasuting though isn't it all the stress of am I/aren't I?

lissielou I am cancelling trip to yorkshire to see PG friend. Realised last night that I can face a couple of hours of babies/PGs but after that I need to escape and just can't do that when going to stay?
Maybe you can run in, throw present from a distance and run out again uggghhhh it is so hard - spesh as we don't want to be feeling like this about our lovely friends and family!

p.s. the friend I was out with yesterday has just finished with boyfriend and was really down. She had cancer 5 years ago but has been fighting to get fertility treatment on the NHS as she had the kind that comes back and could have chemo at any moment. Her best chance was to get PG now but that put too much pressure on her relationship and it fell apart - phew - puts my worries into perspective anyway . She was so bloody lovley and supportive of me too.

Hello all,

Sorry we are all on this thread. My very frustrating story is a year of ttc followed by m/c at 5 weeks. After a weepy few days I started to feel reasonably positive about our chances and had convinced myself it would happen straight away again. This is CD30 (normally 28 day cycle) and because I feel so not premenstrual I had started to hope again - cue 5 C/B tests over the past week and a lot of BFNs. I now realise that a few weeks post m/c nothing is normal - Cm will be odd, symptoms will be confusing and my body is trying to recover. So this is a new start! BTW this positivity is v unusual but I am beginning to bore myself with my misery - not a good sign!

Hi Iwillbe - you are amongst friends here - we are all symptom crazy
basil just spoke to doctor. Apparently our symptoms sounds normal and nothing to worry about unless feeling unwell/temperature/bleeding/nasty discharge . She is not suprised still no AF after 6 weeks and said just chill - it will come (my words not hers )

Apologies for my absence! Hope you are all? Well. I?ll try and catch up. I?m 7dpo (6 if you listen to my software ) I am being very naughty and symptom spotting like a nutter but I can?t stop

Beckle ? on no! I really hope the bleeding ends up being nothing to worry about. Probably good to give some distance between the bleed and the scan, my 2nd scan was too soon and I got my hopes up for nothing. Everything crossed for you, please keep us posted.

Feedmenow ? hello!

Patkica ? for what it?s worth, I think it is healthier if we can talk about all aspects of our life here rather than just the MC as we cannot live in a vaccum outside of the site so I for one really don?t mind hearing about DC, after all, we are all trying to become Mummies! It?s funny, the taste I have is not metallic, it?s almost like a coating feeling, hard to explain but nothing will take it away. I?m always thirsty so that?s not that good an indicator for me

After OV CM is supposed to suddenly disappear or revert to sticky type. It can then become EWCM again in the 2WW but that is not the from the hormone interaction, not return of fertility. When I got my bFP though I had lots of sticky CM after OV. I have that again but am trying not to get too excited ? but it is so hard isn?t it?

A question for you all: what happens to CM after ovulation? Or what should happen? I can't seem to find out.

Herby ? you will be a Mummy we all will, some way or another.

Basil ? all sounding good for you I thought when you release 2 eggs its always within 24 hours of each other? I thought it wasn?t possible to actually go through the whole process twice in a cycle? Thanks for your good vibe for me very much appreciated!

Lissie ? how are you babe? you ok about the niece? (you can tell us how you feel, get it out)

Wheely symptom spotting is a slippery slope isn?t it? I try to tell myself that you won?t get symptoms until at least 7dpo because you won?t get them until implantation but when I look back on the cycle I got my BFP, weird stuff started from 3dpo so now I am wondering.

Hello Torres embarrassing thing about symptom spotting is that if you are not pg people must think you are pretty gross! I?m trying to bear that in mind when I talk about wind! Have to say the Mylene Klass thing grated with me too. I met a former colleague on the train last night and she told me she was pregnant and I could see she was just bursting to tell me and was so excited and I was for her too then she told me she was 17 weeks and due in October and I got such a pang for my own lost October baby that I felt it hard to keep smiling ? I felt so mean afterwards but luckily, she didn?t notice the change in me I don?t think.

Alittlebitshy so good to hear you are feeling better.

Hey Popsy ? that was a huge barrier and it sounds like you got through it very well. Well done you! (don?t mean to be patronising, I know how hard it must have been) Hope Dr reassured you, I was told 6-8 weeks for AF after my MC so maybe the next 2 weeks will resolve things?

Thanks for your good wishes MrsMcJnr, I am trying not go get my hopes up too high but symptoms are progressing so hopefully that is good news. Starting to feel quite rough over the last few days, that slight-shaky-tummy-hungover feeling, also been starving at bedtime for couple of nights!
I think you can get sypmtoms before implantation too, looking back my first sign this time was that on 3-4 dpo I got my usual very greasy forhead, it usually stays for 10 days or so until AF arrives but it only stayed for 1 day! Then the thirst in the night and pins and needles in arms (didn't realise that could be sypmtom until took a peep at the 2 ww website!). So...fingers crossed!

Hi MrsMcJr thanks for the info - I could have saved alot of worry by just asking you! Okay I am now officially zen and chilled WRT AF....

Beckle ooh all sounds good! What is the 2ww you mention - I think someone else did earlier in the thread too (basil?)

You were right Popsy - this IS a nice thread. Can I join in please?

Hello brave and wonderful everyone. I read in a Vita West book the other day that women in our situations have to keep reminding ourselves that this time of our lives is temporary. We will all have babies in the future: this is not who we are or will always be. I had practically worked myself up into a frenzy even before I tried the last time and it happened really quickly. I know that's not the case for all of us and many of you have had a much rougher time than me, but it may be easier or easier this time around and even if it isn't, it will happen. She also strongly recommends that you imagine the baby you will have and imagine yourself pregnant. I know that can be hard after m/c, but I find it really comforting to do.

Mantra: 'this is a temporary state'.

Torres: I know what you mean about pregnant celebrities, but honestly, looking at Jordan makes me glad I'm not like her and even, weirdly, that we are not pregnant at the same time.

All syptom spotters: it is absolutely impossible to resist, though TBH all my 'symptoms' are now gone, apart from the metal mouth which is less metalic than it was yesterday. I am starving and exhausted, but I always am. I had very different symptoms with both my pregnancies so who knows. Very, very vivid dreams though.

MrsMc: thanks for the CM info. Mine is all over the place, but that might well be a M/C hangover. I'm sick of analysing everyhting. Remember when this didn't matter? I remember not even being aware that such a thing as CM existed.

popsy: well done. That must have been really, really hard. It will be your baby in your arms soon and it will be wonderful

iwillbe: Not sure if we've met, but welcome and my sympathies if we haven't. My story is a little like yours and I am now waiting for AF, three weeks after m/c. Am treating this as a normal enough cycle, but not quite sure what is normal really.

Splashed out on a massively expensive washing machine today: for the nappies I told myself. Am I crazy or does anyone else find that sort of purchase very exciting?

We crossed EllieG: hello.

All purchases are exciting. Spent loads of money last month in post-MC theraputic spending spree.

Sore boobs (CD23, 7DPO) today to add to my symptom list. But, I have to keep reminding myself that since M/C I have had sore boobs and lots of other full on symptoms pre-AF that I never had before. Not sure why - hormonal wierdness I assume. Sigh. However, thought if I tell you all and then its in print next month I can read back and realise its just AF coming and not get hopes up (yeah right).

Just a thought on this symptom spotting though - is it a case that the symptoms would be there even if AF was coming and we just attribute it to PG if we get BFP. Dunno.

Beckle - I had meant to say previously that I am thinking of you but it does all sound quite positive if you still have symptoms of pregnancy. Please let us know how you get on.

Welcome Ellie & Iwillbepositive. sorry you're here...

Popsy - 2WW is 2 week wait - between OV and AF. Well done on going to see your friend. I am tenterhooks waiting for 4 friends to pop at any moment (2 due this weekend, 1 due in a couple of weeks with twins so anyday now and another is 37 weeks but told she could go at any moment) - I feel quite excited for them actually but am not sure how I will cope with seeing the babies..... It always does me good though to think of people who have things worse too. Your friend sounds amazing.

Right if I don't get back on today, I am off for the long weekend down to my parents hopefully for some much needed rest (they will help a lot with dd). These days we only go to them because we are doing something near them so they can look after dd so it will be nice to spend some time with them. Have a nice long weekend everyone !!

Pat - it took me so long to type my post that I crossed with yours.

I was only saying to a friend this morning (who is about to pop with no2 but took a while to conceive even though no1 was an accident) that we were so lucky not to have to think about all this with our no1's - I realise how fortunate we were. So, respect and cheesy {hugs} to all those who are here for No1 (does that sound patronising - it wasn't meant to be).

Enjoy your washing machine ! I got all excited when we bought our new one because it had a countdown timer on it...

Hi Ellie hooray and welcome - wanted to say hello before dash off to have underarm wax yeooowwwww!
talk more later ...

Popsy, 2 WW is the 2 week wait from OV to AF, and here is a link to the 2WW website - they are very very obsessive people!
Wheely how are you? hope you have lovely time with your parents, a bit of time out won't hurt either! Thanks for thinking of me too, have been trying to keep up with everyone on here (in a non-stalkerish way I promise!), felt like I had a good bond with you guys and hoping you all get your LOs soon.

Hello all, I can't keep up with all these names (can't do it in RL let alone MN!). Just seen consuultant and he reckons there is no link between 2 mcs and the pain I keep getting is nothing sinister so just to take painkilers if it gets bad- could be endo again and if it returns then I've to go and see them (got an 'open' appointment) and they will prob do a laparoscopy. Hopefully it won't go that far though! He thinks the same thankfully, said the next time I see him will be when I'm in the delivery suite! Fingers crossed, it feels good to be told to go for it so here's hoping. I never know when I ovulate though, periods are sooo irregular (6 weeks last time ) so who knows how long it might take.

I do the symptom spotting too, although when I have been pg there has been no doubt that I was...does that make sense? On loads of occasions I've thought i was and obsessed over it but af has arrived but last 2 time I just KNEW somehow. It makes it slightly easier not to symptom spot as I keep thinking if I am pg then I'll know. Suspect that makes nooo sense whatsoever but never mind! I'm on CD14 now but af could be another 2 weeks or another 3 or 4- so frustrating!

P.S I should add that I don't really know my body that well- I was 7 weeks with dd before I even suspected I was pg but put this down to lack of knowledge and experience as first pg! How things change, I now know a million times more about pg and birth than I did 4 years ago (and it's pushing lots of other information out

Hi beckle
just checked 2ww site bloody hell glad I didn't have this 2 weeks ago as had most of the symptoms described there but no BFP!

Message withdrawn

well am back from SiL's she's beautiful and im so so jealous. i was v good and didnt cry but seeing ds with her, he came and sat next to me while i was holding her jsut broke my heart. he was entranced and so gentle. i want one so badly, when will this pain stop?

I know how you feel Lisslielou. Last week DD (3) and I were at a friend's house where both the other 3 year olds had newish siblings - DD just sat next to me as I held one of the babies and stroked its face really tenderly. She spent most of the rest of the visit rocking a cuddly penguin (!) to sleep and arranging blankets over it. She also keeps saying "I not got a sister or a brother...." in a slightly mournful way. Makes me want to cry every time... .

Lissielou and iwillbepositive - we'll get 'em one day! I have to hang on to that. My SD doesn't really want me to have one anyway as she said she would have to share my attention and she wouldn't like it! She then said she wouldn't mind so much if we had a boy, 'cos then Daddy would have someone to play with and we can just do girls things' Bless her. She is a sweetie even though she isn't mine. But I do want one of my own SO much. Had a big long chat with DP last night after he had intimated that financially would be a lot easier if we didn't have a baby but just stuck with the one (his though not mine). Think he understands though, it is a big ask of someone not to have a baby, and I pointed out to him that no one would have any children if they always waited til it was convenient. And that if I hadn't had a MC we would've just been having one anyway, and that he was incredibly happy about it. I think he just has his sensible head on.

How'd the arm waxing go Popsy? Had all my bits done last week. Horrid and painful but summer's a'coming so got to be done. Plus am hoping if that am as attractive as possible DP will want to jump me so much he'll forget the condoms

Morning EllieG waxing was MUCH easier this time - think am either developing leather skin or am less hairy!

Been to gym this morning to do body combat - has been YEARS since I have done it and was a laugh - punched an imaginary person (my MC i think) and got out loads of anger . Anyway - made me feel like was looking after my body again and not just waiting to be PG (i.e. eating loads and avoiding exercise)

Had a really good session last night with life coach yesterday. Came to conclusion that I always want new stuff and change and so having a baby was a bit about me wanting change in my life and not totally about the baby. Feel like a big weight has been lifted. Need to think about work though as we also came to conclusion that I don't really like my job as it stands - (I have been banging my head against a brick wall for years) she thinks I can change it to include much more of the good stuff - we'll see ;-)

Hope everyone is having a good day - is bank holiday yippee - we are shopping tomorrow and jousting on sunday .