TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

Bugger. I have just bough out the clear blue and the other pink one testing kit counter at boots!
Why cant I resist

Hi ladies, can I join? Here are my vital stats:
age 33
beautiful DS age 1
LMP 3.12.06 (only 2nd since birth of DS!)
BFP 7.01.07
3 weeks of delight inc trip home to UK, telling all friends & family about PG
DS rejected boob, stopped bf
scan 28.01.07 showing 2 sacs(!)
one week of freaking out
2nd scan 5.02.07 1 sac, no heartbeat
08.02.07 drop in HCG confirmed MMC
09.02.07 fly to Joburg for ERPC leaving DS alone (with friends) for first time
11.02.07 return home to void
17.02.07 holiday with closest friends from London who didn't mention MC or ask how I was feeling once!!
18.03.07 first AF (on my birthday - nice!)
TTC ever since.

I thought I was OK but I'm not. I've been telling myself that if only I can get PG again everything will be OK but it's not working and now suspect that that won't be the case anyway. I've been to lovely dr and got Prozac and referral to psychologist. Yesterday went to mum & baby group and 3 out of 5 are PG, inc one who is due just after I would have been, and we were PG at same time before. It should have been me!
Also have another friend who's PG for 4th time, she's got 2yo who was born at 30wks, after his brother also born at 30wks died at birth and she then had an EP!! I'm so happy for her but....
Why am I so miserable!?
Why do I not want to spend any time with my beautiful son?
How long does Prozac take to work?

Rant over, thanks for listening xx

PS Just wanted to say what a lifeline this thread has become for me - I've been lurking for a while but felt unable to contribute for some reason. You have all given me hope that a) I'm not insane b)even if I am, I'm not alone!
So thank you all so much xx

littlebit am so annoyed on your behalf...it sucks when you don't feel you get good treatment, especially when things are not going well. I'm thinking of you, even if I have no advice to offer (((hugs)))

ronshar I did the same thing. The first day we got back from hols (day after mc confirmed) I bought out Tesco's of ClearBlue tests (they were on offer) on the grounds that I'd used my last three before we left and dh didn't believe I was pregnant. It's an automatic response...sad but true!

MG thanks for the info- why don't the consultants just explain exactly what the drugs they are giving you do. Will take your advice and take 100mg on days 4-7, bd accordingly and keep everything crossed!

zammummy so sorry to hear your news, but glad you are finding support here. Prozac takes up to a month to kick in, but it does make a real difference to your ability to function. I would recommend counselling/therapy in addition, in much the same way you should iron tablets with OJ. The two have a cumulative effect.Thinking of you.

Everyone else- hope you are well. BD with DH last night. First time since we conceived. Felt weird, but nice. Kind of like ripping off the plaster. It's nice to get the connection back and remember that it's not just about making babies, but our relationship. God- how self-absorbed am I today????

Thank you Jules and Floss, if I may call you that?
I even tested myself. Why I couldnt tell you. When I was little if I had 10p I had to spend it on something. it didnt matter what. I wonder if this is the same thing, only slightly more insane.
Zammummy, I am glad that you have found solace amongst us lunatics. It is a select band of very special people on here you know. My heart goes out to you in your suffering.
You sound like you lead a very exciting jet-setting life. I had to get in the car and drive 10mins down the road for my ercp!

Hey lissie! Congratulations hon! Am so pleased for you have everything crossed xxx

Thank you jules. I am day 23 now of an unknown cycle. I am considering buying some of those 20 for £5 so I test every day just to punish myself for my stupidity! What do you think.

Please send me a badge. I dont get badges any more dh said they were childish. All I wanted was a happy birthday badge.

August. (Feels sorry for herself) So nearly time to party again, except I cant make plans because I WANT TO BE PREGNANT BY THEN. So there.
Thank you ever so much for badge I am wearing it now with much pleasure.

love the badge!!! It's my birthday in a few weeks!!!!!!!

Orderd the Lesley Reagen book from AMazon and it came yesterday. Not got very far cos I am trying my hardest to absorb it, and although it isn't that technical, it is hurting my poor little brain (too many yers of chick lit me thinks ).

V v up and down. Deffo not as bad, emotionally, as last time, but i'm of the "i knew it was going to happen so at least it happened sooner rather than later" kind of mindset.

am flshing between: we'll start trying as soon as i've had one or two afs, and the, i can't face this happening again, so we'll wait longer, and also keep kidding myself that maybe we'll have a few months of not actively ttc but not using contraception either. who am i kidding?!

The main thought is - maybe i'm just meant to have my gorgeous dd. But i really and truly want another one.

sigh.

okay wjonge ovet. oops - meant whinge over!

Hoping the rain stops cos my dh, in his infinite wisdom has planned a (belated) Corpus Christie srvice involving a procession around the block, for church. and i know a few people are fully prepared to stage a sit in if he tries to suggest walking and signing in THIS rain. lol. Also dd has a party to go to later, and i know the mum is hoping desperately for an outdoor party... i know how she feels. I'm just glad we used the church hall for dd's party this year cos it was torrential rain and we had 50 kids... even our vicarge can't cope with that number inside (nor my sanity).

Missing Pospy!!!

Jules, ronshar, zam, ellie, flosspot, gilly, hope you're having a good weekend. And everyone else i've offended by missing you out, sorry.

also we need to get thinking - we need another thread title!!!!! time to start a new one as this one is filling up!?!

I'm wondering if one of Pospsy's quotes will work?!?! or at the v least rose drinkers r us!!!!!

Tis a very long thread these days LBS. Got a hilarious card from a friend the other day who had heard about my news....said 'chin up and be very brave...' I guess you have to know that she is very old money, public school, army background. It's just nobody has ever said that to me!

At least I can laugh. Aso going to jump DH tonight once he gets back from yet another stag. Don't care if he is tired and hungover- he's been away two weekends in a row and we haven't spent any time together since mc. Also our puppy has been pooing all over the house, despite being house-trained.

ronshar- call me what you like honey. And test away if it calms you down. I think everyone has a little OCD here- I know I have.

jules- completely forgot what I was going to say.

everyone hope you are coping with life on this very wet day. Big smooches and positive thoughts to you all.....

It was laughing at me. Even as I opened the packet I could hear the sniggers. I still couldnt help myself. Surprise a BFN.
Oh well there is always tomorrow.

There's always tomorrow Ronshar, and chocolate. There's always chocolate!

Hi ladies - thought you might be interested in my latest.

Was just congratulating myself at reaching 7 weeks on Thurs (two days longer than last pg lasted) when I got some spotting. Extremely light but I flipped out, convinced it was all over. Rang EPU whimpering and got appointment for following morning. They told me to relax and go home and rest (What else can you say to mad hormonal woman?)

So bascially ended up telling me boss I was having an m/c, she had no idea I was pg and wasn't planning on telling her till 12 week scan etc. But wasn't feeling alert enought to concoct another reason for needing to go home.

Next morning, went to EPU for 9.30 appt and after a horrendous 15 second pause they did indeed find a sac in the right place and although they coudln't hear the heart beat, we could see it flickering on screen which is still a good sign apparently. But they couldn't date it accurately yet and I have to go back on 4th July.

So although still early days, at the minute things look OK. And spotting stopped almost as soon as it began so fingers crossed.

Just as I am trying to feel all zen and relaxed I find out my DS has chickenpox and as I haven't had it I have to go asap for blood tests to see if I'm immune. So had to tell boss this morning that a) erm actually am still pg at moment and b) can she cover my classes this afternoon

Boy am I popular

HUGS TO EVERYONE xx

Oh Basil- what a lot to deal with! Glad things looking good at the moment. Will keep all crossed for you...chickenpox is suxh a shag to deal with and I'm guessing you need to take it a little easy right noW!!!

ZamMummy - so sorry to hear your story but glad you were able to join us.

basil what a horrible stress. Good luck with the zen bit!

Feel I could do with a bit of zen as AF due on Thurs but in my head it's kind of Weds because that's when my temp usually drops. If it doesn't, ronshar, I'll be following you into OCD territory and reaching for the tests despite the fact that I tested negative in my last pregnancy three days after I was due so testing negative means nothing anyway AND I have no symptoms at all. Roll on next month.

Hello to everyone else

Hi everyone
been off line all weekend as mum was down
was actually very chilled though was close to tears the entire time just wanted to HOWL HOWL HOWL....kept it in (mostly ha ha).

Sister just sent me email saying Mum said to her "was just something we both needed to do" - why do mums ruin it all by being cringe-worthy...why do sisters tell you about it .

Anyway - had one of those mondays at work that make you regret not being 6 months PG . Am going to try very hard to stay sane this month (though as am planning on shagging the arse off DH does not bode well for none-MAAS-ness).

Reading a book called women who think too much - keep opening it up in public and then blushing from head to toe when people clock what is on the cover...YES I KNOW I AM INSANE JUST GIVE ME A BREAK AND HAND OVER THAT LATTE WITH EXTRA HAZELNUT SYRUP BEFORE I STOT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH MY WEIGHTY LIFE-IMPROVING TOMBE

anyways - hope latest update from popsy-world (yikes am a C4 TV show now) has made you all feel very SANE

Masses of OCD 123 Love from me
xxxxxx

OMG I will be the 1000th poster on this thread (if I do it quick enough so probably not!!)

Am so glad Basil that you saw the flickering heart beat

Popsy thanks for the OCD 123 love. Sending some OCD love back!

I am off to the Dr on Thursday and it is all I think about. Plus the prospect of BD-ing all weekend when I should be fertile. The odds for all of us to have babies are so good. Its just so hard WAITING WAITING WAITING!

Sending Winky love to all my fellow ttc-ers. (No I am not pissed just feeling the love this evening!)

Morning winky glad to hear you are back on the wagon so to speak
we do need a new thread though (we are very prolific aren't we?)
Am off to wrack my brains....
Can't believe will be ttc July arghhhhh
(minor crisis going on at time passing)