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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

1000 replies

popsy76 · 27/04/2007 13:32

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

OP posts:
alittlebitshy · 27/04/2007 17:50

great thread title popsy!!!!!!!!!! In reverance to our mrsmcmothership!!!!

Just had a text from a friend announcing she is pg. due just before i would have been

Feeling a lot less low than recently, so that's good. am sure will be constant up and downs but hey ho!

welcome mrsdarcy and victor vic

torres · 27/04/2007 17:50

sounds like self sufficiency to me!

WinkyGirl · 27/04/2007 20:54

Hi Everyone

MrsMc Hope you are ok?

Gilly Really interested to hear what your counsellor said about dates/pregnancy. It is hard finding appointments for midwife etc in your diary or thinking about how many weeks you would be now... Hard not to become obsessed.

I have been to Tesco to stock up on clearblue ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. Cost a bloomin' fortune! I should be ovulating in about a week based on previous dates (there you go - obsessed by dates!)

MrsDarcy and VictorVictoria Welcome. They are a lovely bunch on here.

xx

mrsdarcy · 27/04/2007 21:00

Thank you for all the replies - very helpful.

Wheelybug - good idea - I'll do a pregnancy test before my appointment. I haven't done one yet.

VictorVictoria - sorry you're going through this too. How are you feeling?

missnatalie · 27/04/2007 21:10

Hi Everyone,

Thought id pop on to see how your all doing before Ugly Betty comes on.

mrsmc - how you feeling today.

Welcome mrsd and VictorVictoria. So sorry for both of your losses.

Well today i should be 14 weeks pregnant but im not . Just when i think im coming to terms with things the weekly anniversary (sp) hits me. Today would have been the day that i was going to tell everyone my good news. I really do feel depressed. My doctor has given my anti-ds as i have suffered with very bad depression in the past but im not too sure if i want to take them.

Well got to go Betty is calling.

Love Natalie xx

MrsMcJnr · 27/04/2007 22:54

Hello on the new thread Sorry for the depressing suggestion for the new name last night!

Caught up with the old thread and will now have to catch up on this one!

WinkyGirl ? interesting theory on the lyrics!

Wheely ? exactly what I was thinking though I know they cannot get further with my prognosis if I am pg because it changes everything. Tricky one! Yup, I use those OPKs. I did get a dark line this cycle but only on one day. Some cycles I don?t get any at all and others I get two consecutively. I don?t think it?s the product but the fact that our LH surges can be unreliable. Ov pain is good though

Hey Jules ? sorry went to watch ER! Thanks for posting all those links for me that was really kind of you I shall work my way through them. Didn?t realize you were waiting for these kinds of results.

Poor you Bail ? it really does sound as if you feel awful

Hello alittlebitshy

Popsy ? that is great that you are finding work interesting again

My1stbaby ? so sorry to hear that I suffered an auto immune thing about 3 years ago too, they could never put their finger on it but I think it was a type of lupus. I was off work for 3 months, it was really scary.

Patkica ? sorry if my post last night didn?t make sense I do have results, I have a prothrombin mutation which is a blood clotting disorder. I?ll wait for an appointment on the NHS unless I get a BFP first in which case I?ll get a private referral smartish. Totally empathize re BDing. Thing is DH was so critical of himself for not trying harder before only then to again not try hard enough this time round

Hello Gilly thanks for your kind words. I was just reading all that your counselor said thinking how relevant it all was to me and how I am obsessed with time and do have my life on hold thanks for sharing. Hope you have a lovely holiday, where are you off too? And it is exciting about your job interview!

MrsMcJnr · 27/04/2007 23:17

Phew! Caught up only to get behind again tomorrow as I am away overnight at a Hen!

Popsy ? Hope the anniversary hasn?t been too hard. I?m sure DH will be delighted to have you all thinking about his light saber Your post was lovely. I feel the same way about you all too ? don?t know where I?d be without you So glad you are feeling much better.

Poor you MrsDarcey & VictorVictoria ? our thoughts our with you, let us help you through it

MrsDarcey ? I think it is hard to say how long it will take. It really does seem that each pregnancy is different. In my case (10 weeks) I had very heavy bleeding and large clots for 4 days and then AF quantity for a few more days after that. You?re best to have a scan to make sure all the POC have gone otherwise they can cause real issues for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this and that you lost another child before, that must have been awful. The pg hormones really don?t help you to feel any better do they? Don?t be too brave, your experience is your own and the worst you have and therefore you have to be kind to yourself. It is an awful experience one I shall never forget. It took me a few weeks to get a ?ive HPT by the way so don?t try too soon, it?s harrowing enough to do it for the wrong reasons without it showing +ive.

Torres ? thanks for your thoughts your DH is right about us all of course, we hardly ever talk about shopping, hair or nails

Its so great to hear so many of you saying that you feel like you are turning a corner I feel better than I did but the medical stuff is blurring my positivity a bit I have to say. I do feel like my body is getting back to normal though

He Herbaceous

Alittlebitshy ? sending hugs, those announcements are so hard to handle.

Hi Winky ? I know what you mean about the dates in the diary, tippex is useless, I can still see through it!

Poor you missnatalie we do know how you feel.

missnatalie · 27/04/2007 23:36

Hmm thats weird . I know that i posted to messages earlier today, but where have they gone? Anyone else got the same problem?

missnatalie · 27/04/2007 23:37

And now there back on . Maybe its just my computer?

lissielou · 28/04/2007 07:55

hi all thought id rejoin a ttc after mc thread. am on cd22 8dpo and symptom spotting like a loon.

morningglory · 28/04/2007 09:32

Can I to join? I had a complete m/c on April 7 at 6 weeks after getting pregnant on the first try.Just started to spot, and was gushing by the time they saw me in A&E. Completely passed all "products of conception" while in hospital, and they sent me home with a pregnancy test to do 5 days after I stopped bleeding. After leaving hospital, I bled lightly for 1 week (less than a period, actually). Took a pregnancy test 5 days after I stopped bleeding and it came back negative. I know I really shouldn't ttc until first af, but I feel emotionally and physically ready. I am not expecting to get pregnant this cycle, but I'm not using protection either...maybe just hoping I get lucky. Well, it is the year of the Golden Pig, and they are supposed to be particularly lucky... Nah, I know that chances are unlikely that I will get pregnant immediately, but one can't stop hoping. How reliable is CM after m/c? I am having EWCM right now, and am hoping that this means ov is imminent. Should I do an OPK test, or are they unreilable after m/c?

lissielou · 28/04/2007 12:36

im so sorry for your loss. it is truly shite!

it sounds like you are fertile at the mo, you are actually at your most fertile straight after you have been pg, so good luck. as long as you feel ready. how many w were you

mrsdarcy · 28/04/2007 15:52

Hello Lissielou and Morningglory. Sorry for your losses. Lissielou - I think I recognise your name from the due in Dec07 thread - I was briefly on there too .

I wish wish wish all this horrible bleeding would stop and my hormones would settle down. I am sick of feeling exhausted and hysterical. I'm probably kidding myself, but I am convinced that once the physical symptoms stop, I will be fine. I still have pregnant boobs and queasyness which is really depressing. There is the tiniest bit of me that thinks I have lost one of a twin and am therefore still pregnant. How sad is that? I know I'm not still pregnant but can't bring myself to take painkillers. I don't want to do a pregnancy test as I know that it could still show positive even if it is all over.

Sorry, having a difficult day and not doing such a good job of putting a brave face on it...

lissielou · 28/04/2007 16:56

dont apologise. its a long process, you still have to grieve.

alittlebitshy · 29/04/2007 09:39

hello everyone.
am determined to catch up today

mrsdarcy how are you doing????? Those early days of the m/c are so surreal
herbaceous ooh i'm pretty close to where you are. i'm near ilford. Dd's school uniform shop is in Walthamshow so i even know your area a teeny bit
my1stbaby i'm chuckling at the thought of your dh's love of gadgets re ov kits!!!!!
*missnatalie your name makes me smile cos that is the name of dd's ballet teacher!!!!! What are your feelings on the anti depressants now?? do you feel like it might be a good idea?
mrsmc how was the hen do? hope you felt a bit better than i did last week after the one i went on!!!!!
lissielou hi!
mrsdarcy (again) I was the same with pain killers. I didn't take any til after i'd had the scan that showed there was nothing left just in case

we went to a wedding yesterday which was v nice. I was v v sober (driving) and dh was not. he claims he knows how much he can take and that he was fine, but i had my doubts which were confirmed in the middle of the night when i heard him ferretting around and then felt him climb back into bed the wrong way round, ie feet on his pillow, somehow with his shoulders right where i wanted my legs to be . I considered going to the spare room but I suffered it until he woke up at about 5 and moved himself around. lol.

have no idea when my next af will come. hope it is more substantial than the last one.

actually quite enjoying (not sure that is the right word) not constantly wondering if am pg, watching for ov signs, planning when next to bd etc etc.... The one thing this m/c has shown me about me is that speed in getting pg is now not an issue just the end result. I am not sure i'll still feel like that when i'm waiting for af after a month of bd, but........... Also (not meaning to be insensitbe to others, just stating what i have learnt about my own body) i know that I am pretty fertile, as dd was not planned, and the baby i just lost was only conceived 5 months after i came off depo. I need to keep convincing myself of that.

missnatalie · 29/04/2007 12:20

Morning Everyone (or should i say afternoon),

mrsdarcy - how you feeling today hun? Has the bleeding settled anymore yet?

alittlebitshy - im not too sure what im going to do about the andi-ds. I really do need them. Spent the most of yesterday in tears after hearing that someone at work is PG and has the sme EDD as i did. Ive been doing some research about them on the internet. Most of it was negative. The ones that the doc has given me are called Fluoxatine 20mg. There a form of Prozac. I was reading yesterday that women who take them whilst ttc and during the 1st 3 months of pregnancy have a higher risk of miscarrige. I dont know what im going to do really. I know i need them but i also want to be pregnant asap. I see my GP again next week so ill have a chat with him about it.

lissielou · 29/04/2007 15:59

miss natalie, the prob with ads during pg is that there is no research into the effects. so please speak to your gp first.

mrsdarcy · 29/04/2007 16:32

I lost more big clots today but I actually feel much better in myself. Thanks so much for the support - I really appreciate it.

alittlebitshy · 29/04/2007 17:54

missnatalie. I was on those when i got pg with dd (unplanned). as lissielou says there is no research either way inot the effects. I came off as soon as i found out i was pregnant (thus had a very miserable few months) but although i felt low after her birth i didn;t go back on anything for a good while (think she was about 14 months).

part of me thinks if you wanted to take them, you should weigh up how safe/beneficial/unbeneficial it would be if you got pregnant v soon and came off them???

that doesn;t make much sense in print, but it did in my head

argh. can anyone phrase it better than me or am i talking crapola?!

popsy76 · 29/04/2007 19:08

hi ladies, one day away and have been in MN cold turkey ! actually have had an okay weekend - must be getting better as the peaks and troughs of my moods are flattening out.Typing this with one handas ,my cat has become a surrogate baby and is sleeping in my lap . Had a good life coaching session on friday. Lots about being a control freak and not being able to let go. This week I have to have a "que sera sera" week - is going to be a killer as I out plan and worry and over think EVERYTHING. Sounds like some of you on here are the same as me (Gilly MrsMc?). I would truly love to be zen enough to enjoy the next PG (should AF EVER turn up!!!). When I felt PG last week all the old insecurities and anxieties resurfaced which made me realise that cannot get like that again for my own sanity. All the cramps have virtually gone now though which makes it much easier to chill about it all. DH and I had a long convo today about it all. He thinks we talk enough and I think we do but not about the right stuff. Was a tense few hours after a "I can't deal with anymore stress right now" screaming match. We eventually agreed that PG doesn't have to be as stressful as it has been this time and that money worries won't kick in until summer next year even if get PG in next cycle. Why does it seem like we are talking two different languages - when you finally down to it, you realise you weren't really in disagreement in the first place. I wish I could put one of those darth vader voice changing helmets on and talk in a language that DH understands and visa versa.

MrsDarcy Glad things calming down a bit - I am afraid those symptoms can last a while - mine did but then others have got back to normal quickly - just remember to give yourself a break (and your body) when you need it as mental and physical pain is harder to deal with than just one or the other. My brain played cruel tricks on me all the time and I am only now just starting to feel more sane now that the hormones are less crazy.

Winky I too thought that Chris was writing about bad stuff - I think MC and gwynnies dad dying as was around that time. The lyrics are just too good to be an accident?

alittlebit great that you went to the wedding and had a laugh - I am still not back on the social horse yet - we do go out and have had friends over but I find my patience is low and I want the evening to end before the others do (maybe something to do with needing to put a brave face on all night?). LOL at your DH - maybe he was trying to suggest something ..."oops look how I got back into bed...oh well while we are in this position..."? tee hee

Morninglory Love the name! Makes me LOL - its always a glorious morning in our house even after a vat of red wine - in fact that seems to make things worse (and maybe "yippee" when getting jiggy doesn't feel quite so mechanical and pointless anymore). Hope you are feeling okay - it takes ages to get back to any kind of normal and i was in your shoes a couple of weeks ago - we are now being careful as the thought of being/not being PG was sending me loopy lou.

Lissielou Hi - I always get confused when I hear voices from other threads - hope you are having a good sunday!

MrsMc we heard alot for each of us in your post but how are you doing? Has it all sunk in yet?

herbaceous so pleased you are feeling better too - even small steps are great aren't they? I just need to keep chilled and focus on the good stuff (easier said than done ).

Torres any entries for our new study? We opened a magnum of champagne that we had from our engagement 3 years ago but got told it would have gone off. Was a little bit flat but went down very smoothly. BBQs and pub gardens are my weakness - oh well must enjoy them as may be back on the "No wine for me thanks, I'm on antibiotics " wagon before the summer is out .

Going to shut down and read a trashy novel till bed time. Sending big love to my lovely MNutters xxxx

OP posts:
morningglory · 29/04/2007 21:54

Hello all.

alittlebitshy: I think you have stated the most important thing about conceiving...just relaxing and not focusing on afs and bds, etc. Seems like that is the most successful formula for conceiving.

popsy76: I'm, so far, mentally ok. I want to get pregnant again as fast as possible, but I am trying to calm myself down. I don't want to be crushed each time AF comes, and am going to ban myself from testing until I am very, very late. Problem is, I really wanted this pregnancy, badly. More than my first one. I need to also make que sera, sera my mantra. I think that what I need to do is find an outlet for my obsession, so I don't think about babymaking all day long. I have a garden in my new house and am thinking of taking up gardening - takes up lots of time and energy, and I have lots to learn, plus I'll have a nurturing outlet, besides ds, of course.

Great day today. Went to a lovely 2nd bday party , which was more an adult party with kids (lots of champagne, which I naturallly couldn't refuse). DS goes back to school tomorrow (was out of school last week with chicken pox), and I'll get a couple of hours in the am to myself again. Yeah!

lissielou · 29/04/2007 22:08

im awful for early testing. the prob is ive been pg so many times now and ttc for so long that i know my body inside out and have no will power

gillydaffodil · 30/04/2007 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

popsy76 · 30/04/2007 08:21

Morning Gilly, I just wanted to say how brave I think you are and that I know exactly how you feel. I really hope your PG comes soon so that you can start to mend. It really doesn't matter what we say on the outside does it - inside we are all waiting for our baby. I too am obsessed with my due date and the fact that 3 friends will have given birth before then. I thought I was zen this morning but a man called into the radio to say wife due August and I shouted "oh fuck off" at the radio Have a great holiday and ple4ase come back to us when you get back xxx

OP posts:
wheelybug · 30/04/2007 08:58

Welcome MorningGlory and Welcome back LissieLou. Sorry you're both here !

Mrsdarcy - how's it going ? How are you feeling ???

missnatalie - what a hard decision about the AD. I hope your GP is able to help you come to a workable solution - are there other AD you can try or could you come off them as soon as you are pg (although that will give more excuses to test early !).

Alittlebitshy - Glad you enjoyed the wedding. LOL at your DH ! Hope it did you some good to relax for a bit. Well done for relaxing over the ttc thing - I am beginning to think that may be our problem. We conceived v. easily twice (1 virtually an accident) but weren't stressed about it either time. Now we are DESPERATE we are on our 8th cycle.

MrsMc - hope the hen do was fun (grasps at straws - at least you could drink, hen do's must be awful if you're sober ). I have decided to not use OPKs once the ones I have have run out (obviously don't have the willpower to not use them) so 1 more cycle with them....

Popsy - sorry you had a bit of a stressful weekend talking to DH but glad it is all sorted.

Gilly - your holiday sounds amazing. I think travelling is the thing I miss most from pre-dd. Obviously I know you'd give it up in an instance but I really hope you have a fantastic time and gives you time to relax. The job sounds great too - as you say a step in the right direction. Its a v. difficult field to get into isn't it ? Of the people I know from my course only one is really doing a proper career heritage job. I am hoping that maybe when I get back to work I can get in via my accountancy qualification or even voluntary work. Good luck with that (a new job is exactly what you need to get PG I reckon !). I really hope you are ok over your due date - I thought I would be fine but fell apart a bit that week, but felt much better once it had been and gone. Will be thinking of you.

nothing much to report here now I am on the dreaded 2WW.... Have my day 21 blood test tomorrow so I have a 2ww too for all my results of all the tests I have had this month.

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