TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

(Reason I'm seeing consultant on Thurs is because a few weeks after mc I kept getting very sharp pains in my side- still get them sometimes- and they want to do a scan to check all is as should be. SOunds ridiculous now after 7 weeks and a normal af and me being sure it wasn't related to mc but it's a good opportunity for me to get checked out and (hopefully) get some reassurance. I also suffered from endometriosis a few years ago but it was cleared with a quick operation and having dd helped but there was some concern that the sudden surge then decline in hormones during the pg/ mc could have triggered it off again, hence the pain. However, at the moment it looks liek I won't be able to make it as dh is working away and there's nobody else to have dd (lots of new born babies and work with those I'd normally ask, family are 400 miles away!)and I'm not keen on taking her with me. Nothing is straighforward!

Am thinking of booking some reflexology to try and feel more positive and less stressed- anyone tried it?

I've tried it Hayls, not sure it helped but Reiki did really realax me

Hi Hayls: sorry you're here, but you couldn't be in better company. It is all just crap really, especially at first, but I feel loads better now and I hope you will too.
Wheely: I always get AF 14 days after ovulation, except when I was pregnant of course so I guess I am due on around the 12th. Problem is that my cycle seemed quite normal, but a few things were weird and I guess that is becuase I just had the m/c 3 weeks ago. No boob pain at ovulation, metal taste in my mouth from ovulation, very light lines on OPK two days running and cm after ovulation (usually go dry straight after). God, sorry if TMI. So I don't know what's going on and like some of the other women here, it makes it worse than most months because you tell yourself that you couldn't possibly get pregnant so soon after m/c and even if you did, you couldn't tell so soon, but of course you hope you will be.
BTW does anyone else wish there was a smile symbol that wasn't quite as mad looking as the grin: just a normal, funny but not hysterical type symbol would be nice.

For the list:

I hate the way so many shops have great maternity ranges now: topshop, gap for god's sake now. Are they trying to torture me?

OoPs, there is a normal looking smile after all. I am going mad.

I've thought of another couple for the list:

Feeling weird and anxious about things that normally would be fine, like stopping in the tunnel on the tube, missing a rehearsal, going to sis's sons' christening. Though that will be weird - too much 'blessing of children' nonsense.

Being really envious of women who already have children, even if they've then had m/cs. (Sorry, all those after number two, three etc, but I do envy you.)

Hi Ladies, just caught up on all the messages, have had a fun but unproductive morning. Actually making fab research plans with a colleague that get me excited about the future again - i have decided better to have something else to look forward too and then hopefully my body will get PG behind my back and scupper all these plans tee hee

basil still no joy but little pimples on chin hope is hormones. Was thinking have not had AF since december so maybe my body has just forgotten how

patkica IKWYM about the grin - phew we are able to just be happy rather than insane (though does suit me quite well most of the time)

herby IKWYM about the 2nd child thing - but I think that is just normal - everyones situation is personal to them - it is all we know - we can sympathise with others but not always empathise. It does show you though that one is not always enough (although you'd swear you'd be satisfied if it meant a successful PG just this one time ). Sending you HUGE hugs from hertfordshire

I was thinking about my que serra sera week and not being very good at it. Maybe my first smaller plan should be to direct that at PG/MC thought only - the best way for me to do that is have a positive afirmation (sorry my life coach makes me do these things) ready everytime I get one of those GOD I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE PG/HAVE A BABY NOW AND HATE EVERYONE WHO HAS MANAGED negative thoughts (once an hour but often more frequent ).

Mine is going to be to think of me at my best friends wedding in August, sitting in the sunshine in my bridesmaids dress, ultra slim (ha ha we can but dream), sipping champagne with non-swollen ankles and sure of a fabulous non reporductive shag later in the evening with my gorg DH. This is going to be my image until end of August and if I am not PG by then I will aim for my next oldest friends wedding next June. I am doing this because I can otherwise see a year of sadness ahead where I only concentrate on what I have not got - which makes me very unhappy (and probably not very nice to be around). I have also reaslised that there is no relationship between how sad and desperate I am and whether on not I get PG and stay PG until I have a baby - infact the opposite is probably true.

PHEW - this is what I am going to tell my LC in our session on Thursday anyway - wish me luck! Let me know what your postivie images of yourself in the future would be (not allowed to include PG or baby that is cheating - goes without saying that is what we would all want but maybe we need to allow an alternative image in our heads just incase so we don't go totally insane waiting?)

Hi All from Sunny London (inane just for Patkica !!)

Hayls - sorry you're having to join us after such a hard time, even though your m/cs were early doesn't make then any easier. Thinking of you.

My1stbaby - don't worry about not posting much/often, just pop in and tell us how you're doing every now and again !!

Herby - no offense taken from here over the number 2 comments, I can imagine its hard (and I do sometimes feel a bit mean posting about dd on here as I know there's a fair few ttc number 1). FWIW, I always imagined having 3 children (I am one of three and thought it worked well). When I had a difficult pg with dd I told dh (who only really wanted 2 anyway !) that if we had trouble with number 2 we would stop there. The last few months I think I have realised this is where we will stop, if we get that far which makes me sad. Having come to this realisation I am trying to make myself think about only have one child and I find that very difficult - I really can't even begin to come to terms with that possibility even though I know we are incredibly lucky to have dd (in more ways than 1 as she might not have made it had it not been for an over cautious sonographer). Anyway, thats lots of ramblings but I DO understand how you must feel.

Popsy - Good luck with your 'thinking of other things'. Very sensible. I need to do this to, I remarked to a friend that I feel our whole life is on hold waiting for this thing to happen and meanwhile life is passing us by. I said to DH at the weekend that if I am not PG by my birthday I want some horse riding lessons (I used to ride a lot as a child) so thats going to be my thought...... yee haa !!

MrsMC - having resolved to bin OPKs once my pack runs out I have just agreed to buy someone's persona . Have thought about the clearblue digital monitor but didn't want to pay £100 so thought this might be a half way house (and we can always use it if we get to 'afterwards' - 94 % accuracy is good enough for me.... see comments above about no 3 )

RIght need to tidy my house - have chums coming round this afternoon... yikes....

ooh and basil - not that I spend too much time on MN but dd pointed at a picture of basil brush when we were at the shops earlier and asked what it was... my immediate thought was of you !

wheely LOVE the cowbgirl image! you go girlfriend (said in a ricki lake way)

Hello Everyone!

I think that those OPK kits are more addictive than crack coaine! Every time I go by Boots, I have a strange urge to go in and buy another pack! It's my secreet vice. If DH only know how much they cost, he would forbid me from coming near any chemist.

Because I think I ovulated...not quite sure as I am just post m/c, I'm starting to obsess about symptoms. Gotta stop or else I'm going to go insane! Really need to start my gardening project to keep my mind off of this.

mini rant:
went to drs for my smear. never had one . was v v nervous.
First off the nurse said they can't acually do it unitl 12 weeks pst m/c. i'm only 6. grr. was psyched up for it but i can't say i'm sad. got to do it in 6 weeks time.

but also, they had F*&^ed up my notes. when we took the letter from the epu to gp they must have transfered the info rather hurriedly because they had put it down as m/c at 5.5 MONTHS pg rather than WEEKS. At the time i was like, oh, how silly. But now i am really upset and a bit bothered. probably irrational but....

Patkica ? I know what you mean about the mat ranges, I found myself looking at a lovely top in Red Herring only to realise that it was in that range, was quite embarrassed actually I?ve got a funny taste in my mouth today. No matter what I drink or east it won?t go away. I have sore and burning boobs, increased CM, hot flushes to my face every now and then and a crampy tummy and wind only 4 or 5dpo so crazy but it gets you hoping!

Herby ? I get both of those too.

Popsy ? funny you should say that, I?ve been at training all morning and actually feel inspired this afternoon by my work and career for the first time in a long while (so why are you on here? I hear you ask ) I think your thoughts are great, I am doing the same about weddings and have been for a while. I have one on 19/5 and though I would have loved to accessorise with a bump (along with 6 others who will be there that I know of!) I?m going to make the most of wearing a nipped in short dress even if I am still bigger than the pgs ones I will obviously be looking tanned and toned on my hols in 7 weeks but chances are?..!

Hey Wheely ? think it is always positive to try something new! I was thinking about ?afterwards? the other day too. Given my ?condition? the pill or hormone related contraception is out for me so I?ll need to become very good at temping and charting unless I want to spend the rest of my fertile years pg (wishful thinking I know but I can just see it, I have a beautiful baby to look after, life is perfect and I?m enjoying my little family and then bang another comes along and the joy gets diminished a little because it is really too soon and we are all too tired to enjoy each other! And then it happens again?. And all because I don?t want it too!

Morningglory interesting theory about the OPKs but don?t waste all your money on those, so many other TTC goodies you can buy!

Hey alittlebitshy sorry you have been through this today , it?s always so hard to deal with the cold hard medical stuff when you are still feeling vunerable I was told that I was being referred to ?lunatology? yeaterday by the receptionist at my GP practice, maybe that is in addition to or a better place for me than ?haematology?

Feeling a bit bad I had a huge rant to DH at the weekend about how disappointed I was with the lack of support/comment/acknowledgement about our MC from friends on his side (I say it that way because after 6 years together, they are my friends too but the women I?m referring to are married to DH?s mates and I thought we got on well) one of them is due in June has a DS already but had a MC herself before him, not a peep from her, no text, no card, no call ? nothing. Another is due 1 week before my EDD would have been . It?s her 2nd. Again, nothing from her. I was so hurt. Last night the second one called and left a message saying she was sorry she had not been in touch since the MC and that she was wondering how I was and to call her back. Thing is, I know she also wants to know if I am going to a hen this weekend and probably wouldn?t have called otherwise. I know I am being mean but after 9 weeks, it feels like too little too late. I sometimes day dream about being pg again and only telling those who have been supportive and letting the others just find out, the later the better! excuse me but I had to get that out. Am I a bad person?!

Hi MrsMc no - i have had the same with two very close friends - I had to arrange to see one this week and she emailed to say she'd need comforting too as had split up with her boyfriend (of a year ) and was feeling low about being 31 and single arghhhh. The other who was my closest friend through uni has only rung once - that was just before erpc...maybe she is PG and avoiding me - or maybe she is just wrapped up in her own probs? Just have to try not to obsess over it (am bound to get ratted and bawl them out for it one night in the future anyway )

littlebit just thump a cushion or something - will make you feel better - my docs thought I was still PG !

MrsMcJnr - I seem to remember having strange taste in mouth almost straight after OV and being told that was a good sign of pg (was it you?) Sorry to hijack but have been keeping an eye on you all!

Beckle thanks hon - we'll see a bit early to be thinking anything maybe I just have bad breath how are you getting on? feeling good and confident?

at bad breath! Think I was about 4-5 dpo was when I was waking in the night really thirsty.
Actually not too confident at the moment - had a bit of a bleed on Saturday night, fresh but not much. Was quite crampy Sunday and yesterday but feeling bit better today. Just waiting for early scan to come through but so far the hospital have lost 2 request forms! Still very tired and needing the loo often so hoping it is okay - it is fairly normal for me to bleed during pg - am just trying not to get too attached yet IYKWIM.

Hello ladies. Am just going to jump right in here with a message for MissNatalie cos I just read a post you wrote from before the weekend about Prozac. Not sure if this has already been talked about but I don't have time to read the WHOLE thread.
Anyway, quite a long story but I too take SSRI's (although diff. type & for a diff. reason)and have done a fair amount of research into this myself, particularly as I had a missed mc at 12 weeks in January. I was obviously distraught and felt that my medication may have been to blame. However, I have a friend in pharmacology who did some research for me (bless him!. I had asked him a) what the scientific world concluded and b) whether he would be happy for his dp to take them if she was ttc/pg (the reason for the second part was to get the answer in laymans terms). Anyway, he said there wasn't enough evidence to indicate any dangers and that he would be happy for his dp to continue on the medication if she'd been prescribed it by her GP. So, I have continued to take my meds, and will continue to do so cos of his advice...........
I hope this gives you a bit more info and helps you make a decision/feel confident in your decision

Herby: sorry about the mentions of dc. I'm never sure whether to or not, so I won't anymore. This thread is about our m/c and out future babies!

Mrsmac: I too am really scared to get close to anyone at the monent because I feel like I have bad metal breath. I can't get rid of it and I was actually sick yesterday. But like you, I am just a few days PO and a few weeks post MC so it's too soon. My cm is all over the place too. The best thing about being pregnant was not having to worry about every little twitch and twinge but here I am again.

I got up feeling really thirsty twice in the night last night but that was probably because I was out last night and got very drunk

A question for you all: what happens to CM after ovulation? Or what should happen? I can't seem to find out.

Mrsmac: didn't know Red Herring did maternity. That's another reason to look forward to our new bumps.

Lordy - I didn't mean to imply that all mums can't mention their children. That wouldn't be right. I was just saying that I suppose for us childless types it feels like there's an extra dimension to miscarriages, as there's the horrible prospect in sight that we may never have our own children, which is kind of a biggie.

morning all -
still no AF and bbt still 37. cramps seemed to have eased today though. bloody hell, maybe i'm just having one of those far-out cycles where you ovulate twice. in which case I should have been bd-ing all week. And i haven't as I've felt so tired and ill

sorry to all ttc no. 1 -ers if i came across as insensitive

MrsMc was reading other thread and your symptoms sound pretty positive to me, I have good feeling about May for you
I will join that thread too when AF finally deigns to show up and I have some vague clue where I am

sil has just had a little girl. im so happy and so sad at the same time!

MrsMc & Patkica - over here and repeat with me 'I must NOT symptom spot, I must not symptom spot'. I'm doing it too (thirsty & funny taste, cramps, wind, tired - probably a bug) and I am now in a right state (weepy - is that a symptom too or just a sign AF is on its way) ... I HATE the two week wait. So, MrsMc - you seem to know about these things - surely it isn't possible to get symptoms so early is it ?????

basilbrush - VERY strange about your AF.....

Lissielou - congrats to your SIL and {hugs} to you. How did ds get on at pre-school ?

I won't if you won't wheely

Hello all,

I am enjoying your symptom spotting (though only because I'm not in the 2ww yet myself). Fingers crossed for you all. I really hope this is a bumper lucky month.

Another for the list-
celebrity pregnancies- how annoying?! Is it just me? Having read that Charlotte Church and Mylene Klass are due when I would have been, they appear to be everywhere, it's like they are stalking me! It's impossible to read anything these days without one of them FLAUNTING their pregnant selves at me (usually whilst on a beach looking all happy and carefree). Grr...