TTC after MC April 07 - Return to the Mother Ship

[popsy76]

Hi Ladies, thought I would just grab the bull by the proverbial horns and get this going. Hope the name is okay. MrsMc I am afraid we will all be thinking of you and your DH (and his light saber) everytime we post

Too many individual posts to go back and answer so I thought I'd start with a positive message for all of us from the March thread and for any MC newbies...

Today is my 1 month MN anniversary and I do not know what I would have done without you all. It is the ability to get on here and "let it all out" that keeps me going. I have been blessed to have found you all and whatever lies in my future - your kindness and advice will stay with me forever.

Big Love and Hip hip hooray for a fabulous new positive thread POPSY xxxx

p.s. Gilly get your arse down to london - we can drink the bars dry of Rose (purely medicinal of course )

Hi everyone. I hope it's as sunny where you are as it is here. Just wanted to say:

m.glory: in my experience there is a lot of conflicting information out there about ttc immediately after a m/c. I read everything I could find after my own m/c last month, but the best infromation I got was from the Miscarriage Association. In the end, I just went for it this month - the first month after my m/c - because I felt ready for it. Like you, I m/c very early - mine was at 5 weeks - and I think that makes a difference to how quickly you can ttc again. My GP said go for it so we did. There is some evidence that you are actually more fertile after you've had a m/c and there are plenty of people on MN who have become pregnant straight after, but who knows? My GP also said that CM is a good indicator of ovulation after a m/c so trust your body. Your next period will come 14 days after ovulation as usual. I treated my m/c like a late period and sure enough, I had EWCM on days 16 and 17 as usual. Mind you, what I didn't have was the sore boobs which I normally have when I'm about to ovulate, so I can't be sure that all was normal, but here's hoping. I have also had a really strong metallic taste in my mouth since we began BDing and I have never had that before. This is rambling: what I am trying to say is go for it when you're ready and hope for the best.
Missnatalie: this is also sadly something I know a fair bit about, having been on ADs for years. I took prozac all through my first pregnancy though I was so sick that I may well have thrown them up. I was told in hospital that it was best not to breastfeed and take Prozac and they recommended that I take the ADs and didn't b/feed because my chances of PND were high as I had a history of depression and had had a shocking pregnancy. But the baby was big and healthy and absolutely fine. I'm TTC now and still taking the ADs. I reckon your mental health is so important when trying to TTC, especially after a m/c that I wouldn't risk coming off them, but it's up to you of course. Good luck.

Hello girls.

Shall we start a new list, this time about things we do that give little hints we're not so 'over it' as we thought we were'? It could include:

1 Getting palpitations and a funny head when anyone mentions even perhaps thinking about getting pregnant

2 Shouting 'smug bitch' (from the safety of the car) at a pretty blonde woman in Paul Smith jeans pushing a blond toddler in a buggy.

Fingers & toes crossed Lissie I do so admire you!!

Welcome Morningglory I?m sorry to hear about your MC I had a complete MC on 1 March at 10 weeks so I know how you feel. How are you holding up? Hope it happens for you quickly again EPU told me that as long as you had stopped bleeding it was fine to TTC again before next AF, would be hard to work out dates but then scans can help with that. Didn?t happen for me and the first cycle after my MC was very odd (40 days) and if I Ovd at all, it was very late (cd33) CM was very changeable too. We referred to our beanies as our Golden Piglets on the Due in October 2007 thread Also wanted to say that I too am desperate to be pg again, my baby is such a huge loss to me and I just want the empty feeling to go away but I keep warning myself that to be pg again might not take that feeling away, it will be a different child and I might not be able to move on from my lost one as well as I hope.

Hello MrsDarcey I?m sorry you feel so bad. I know exactly how you feel and if it is any conciliation, time does make you feel much better, particularly when the hormones have gone. Lissie is right, we do need to grieve and one of the hardest things for me was accepting that you do relapse and feel good and bad, you just have to take each day as it comes.

Hey alittlebitshy Hen do was fun not too rowdy, perfect. Made the weekend feel really long and I fee quite energised this morning I hate it when I am sober and DH is drunk hope it was a nice wedding and that you had fun.

Hello MissNatalie ? your lost posts never turned up then? I hope you are feeling ok; it must be so hard

Hi Popsy ? glad you are feeling better overall tell me more about the que sera week? Sorry you fought with DH but hope it cleared the air

Hello Gilly sounds like great restraint re your due date on the next pg, no way I could do that. Holiday sounds amazing!! have a wonderful time! We are still to book one. I?ll miss you so please come back soon.

Hello Wheely ? hope the tests go well tomorrow I am cd21 today so we are cycle buddies I?m 4dpo I think.

Hello Patkica ? just wanted to say that not everyone has an LP of 14, it can range (and be fine) between 9 & 16 days

Herbaceous ? I like it time for a rage:

Shall we start a new list, this time about things we do that give little hints we're not so 'over it' as we thought we were'? It could include:

1. Hitting the roof when you are told ?just relax, it?ll happen?
2. Scraping the tippex back off the dates in your diary because you do want to know, in a sadist moment, what week you should have been on this week.
3. Bit like your no1 Herby ? but wanting to stop anyone else you know from getting pg until you do.
4. Still being aggrieved that some ?friends? still haven?t said a word to you about the MC, or haven?t been in touch at all.
5. Dreading seeing the pg ones, especially those due around your EDD because you don?t know how you?ll feel when you are reminded that you should have a bump that size.
6. Still not knowing what to say when people ask what you have been doing so far this year.
7. Still lamenting your loss first thing every morning and last thing every night.
8. Suddenly crying out of the blue because you miss your baby.
9. Realising that even 2 months on, it feels as raw as if it was yesterday.

10. Knowing I couldn?t even exist to this degree without you ladies, I mean it; you have been my salvation

Yes, I like it: if one more smug person tells me to 'relax and it will happen', I am going to punch them. Apart from anything else, it just may not be true: military planning can be just as effective. Is it just me, or has anyone else developed a really bad temper since their m/c? I feel pretty good in general, but that the lingering temper is a real m/c legacy for me.

P.S. Yes, Mrsmac, of course you are right about the LP. That's my LP is what I meant.

Hi
I was crossing the road the other day and suddenly had this feeling I was like an orange without its peel on - sounds crazy but I felt so exposed?

Sometimes when I cross the road I kind of think 'would it be so bad if I got hit by that car?' But then a more rational part makes me run.

still here. still no AF. still fed up

Arrrgh just wrote huge reply and computer crashed. Sulk. Anyway.

Herby - Don't say that, of course it would be bad. Am glad the rational thoughts kick in. Great list btw, can I add:

sobbing incontrollably when AF arrives

Feeling desolate when someone asks 'so when are you having number 2

Getting very annoyed when friends moan about how sick they are feeling when pg or even worse how terrible it is their boobs have expanded.

Basilbrush sorry AF hasn't arrived yet and that you're fed up (understandly so I may add). Did you ttc this month (sorry I can't remember) ?

Hello MrsMc, you cycle buddy you ! I think I am 4 DPO too (erm.. .counts on fingers.. I think I OV on Thurs night judging on OV pains). Good luck.

We're on the verge of booking a holiday - we keep trying to decide whether we should be sensible and wait till we know if DH is getting a bonus or just book it as there is only 1 place left where we really want to go...

at everyone else.

AND... AF came, but has lasted a week so far, which is much longer than usual. Just when I think it's all over, and have gone bare-panted, another gush will come. AND my boobs are still really sore. What the blazes is going on?

Herb - guess your hormones are still a bit messed up ?! That'll teach you for going bare panted - you'll get a chill like that .

hmm actually maybe bare panted doesn't mean what I took it to mean - I was thinking you meant bare bottomed

Wheely and Mrsmac: I am your cycle buddy too at 4 days PO. But, I have this hideous metal taste in my mouth and all over my lips when I lick them. Never had it before: anyone else had it as part of ovulation or am I going mad?

Hi Patkica, I had the metal taste when PG and very dry mouth even when had drunk loads of water (fingers and toes crossed eh?)
basil I too am still waiting - started pannicking that (1) am sealed up with cervical plug and that is why no bleeding (2) they didn't get it all out so that is why still crampy and feel PG (3) am going through early menopause as having hormonal flushes (my thighs get hot flushes when have my period and having same now) (4) am PG after all but is not showing up on tests as is ectopic or an alien or something
See Basil - you are being very sane about it all compared to me
Just finished teaching - off to have a swim as need to do something - DH took pics of me in the garden this weekend and I didn't recognise myself arghhhh

p.s. I hope you weren't really bare panted?? Yikes!

Patkica ? I think my temper blossomed when I was pg and has yet to die sorry if I misread you about your LP, I was just worried that someone else might think that if it wasn?t 14 days there was something wrong with them. Good to have you as an OV buddy too funny about the taste ? seems a bit too soon for any symptoms but what do I know!

Popsy ? interesting thought ? can?t say I?ve had that one!

Herby ? No! step away from the road. Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time physically too.

Sending you hugs and patience Basil

Wheely ? great! It?s fun to have an OV buddy! AF due 8/5 at the latest, yours? Book that holiday ? its good for getting a bump!

I?ve got another for the list:

-obsessive bump spotting down the street

hmm you're asking me to count on fingers again MrsMc... well, when I've had OV pain I have usually got AF almost exactly 14 days later (well I've noticed this a couple of times and no idea other times - i.e. when I am not desperate !) so judging by that I should get AF on 10 May. So will allow myself till 13th before thinking anything (other than all the symptom spotting I will do before them of course !!)

How bout you Patkica ?

Right am clearing the patio in between bouts of mumsnet so had better get back out there !!

Hello all, just wondered if I could join in... Had 2nd mc about 7 weeks ago (last one in Oct last year) and seem to be 'coping' ok and have decided to have another go. I'm hoping to get the go-ahead from consultant on Thursday then we'll go for it. It's a really difficult decision to make as I'm scared that either I won't get pg again (I know logically this is unlikely as I've got pg v easily 3 times now but still...) or I'll mc again- biggest fear is how I'd cope if that happened, not sure I could do it 3 times! I'm still in my 20s so I know I've got plenty of time but I WANT TO DO IT NOW!! Feeling a bit emotional now as 2 close friends have just had babies, I'd have been due in a few weeks if I hadn't lost the first one and another friend has just told me she's due the same time as I would have been 2nd time around. There are also so many pg threads on MN that I can't help seeing, in particular a June one that I know is tongue in cheek and non-offensive but it just makes me emotional when I see it cos I was due in JUne- totally irrational I know! This parenting lark is not easy!

I know I'm lucky, I have my beautiful 3yo dd who means the world to me. For the past couple of weeks she's been saying 'we want a baby, don't we mummy' and keeps playing with her 'little brother' (called Princess Jasmine or Seamus depending on the mood BTW ), catching him on the slide, holding his hand and even putting him on the naughty step so she's obviously picking up on something!

I'm so sorry to see so many of you that are going through similar circumstances and hope you don't mind me barging in and unloading

P.S am loving the list!

Hayls ? so sorry you have to be here with us and that you?ve been through the heartache twice, I don?t know if I?d cope with that. I hope we can offer you lots of support and make you feel better

Thanks MrsM, both were very early on (6-7 weeks) but I'm still not sure if that was a good or bad thing...

hi all, sometimes ifeel like every month has a failed pg conotation to it now. if im not pg then i have a HSG next month but if i am then ive got 3w to get thru. i keep seeing bloomingly pg ladies/girls and when i overhear "im so tired" "my back aches" "im fed up now" i want to slap them. ds is 2 today and i keep thinking he should have a little brother or sister here or on the way now. and to make things worse my SiL's edd is tomorrow.

i hate my shitty failing body.

sorry, rant over

lissielou I know how you feel, I sooooo want my gorgeous DS to have a sibling. I don't want 3 kids, I don't want 4 - I just want 2, pleeeease Mother Nature is that so unreasonable??
On top of all this , I've got the spectre of my mum's story. She got pg when I was one, miscarried, got infection and had to have hysterectomy - hence I am only child! I keep thining "it won't happen to me, it won't happen to me" but the thought is always there... She was totally wrecked by my m/c, sometimes worse than I was. In fact, next time I get PG I am not breathing a word till the 12 week scan, otherwise I think she'd crack with worry.
popsy we are both indeed going round the twist I am having The Most Hormonal Time of My life. My cramps are really intense, my boobs are on fire and I now feel sick, get this, every morning...BBT has been high for a week and have loads of CM now after a few days of dryness. How the blithering flip can I not be PG??? I feel like someone's playing a big trick on me...
In desperation, went to school nurse today and begged test - negative, natch
MrsMc Thank you! xx

lissielou hugs!!!!!!!! Enjoy ds's birthday!!!!!!!!!!
hayls welcome. Hope youlre doing okay? Call me stupid but what exactly are you seeing consultant for on thurs? just to check all is as it should be?? good luck!! ah, your dd sounds sweet. Mine is pretty keen for a baby brother or sister, but luckily has not mentioned it for while (she is alost 4).
herby poor you i'll admit i had v similr thoughts last week, but it's good that our rational sides kick in.
mrsmc glad you had a good long feeling weekend.
gilly have a fab holiday and we'll miss you! come and see us when you get back.... hopefully some of us will have moved to other boards......
popsy good swim?
wheely at your mega af and at bare panted!!!
patkica hi - sorry, i fele like i'm always ignoring you. I'm not, honest!!!
morningglory enjoying uyour time with ds back at school? I am!!!!
basil any sign?

phew.

another pregnant friend today. due almost the same week i was meant to be. aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!

got to tackle my mound of ironing but wanted to try and catch up first!!!!

basil - xposted

hello all. hope everyone's well. just got home and put a pizza in the oven. thought i'd kill a few minutes on MN catching up on news. realised over the last few days that i'm crap at posting messages here. can't keep up with everything that's going on. so apologies if i'm silent for a bit. think i need more practise. any tips on how to keep track