35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

@79andnotout
I'm in Bath - pretty chuffing warm here, not making me wanna DTT! Plus he has been applying for a new job, and being a pain in the arse bit temperamental!

Sorry to hear about your grandmother @Chelonia It sounds like she had an amazing life - 100 years, wow! I really miss my gran & was devastated when she died. She was an amazing woman.

I completely understand about lack of central heating. We don’t have it either as DH bought our house to do up before we got together & it’s still an ongoing project. I remember telling a workmate that we didn’t have central heating and her looking at me in complete horror.

Good luck @oxted2018 - sounds promising x

@TheNewbieStep - I would love to visit Bath! Hope you’re having a great time

Just out of interest (and hope this isn’t being too nosy) but how often do you all dtd? Do you stick to just your ovulation week or not? One of my friends, who had her lovely (first) baby last year, said it should be every other day as that’s the only sure way. I don’t think I can manage that often!

Hya ladies any room for a newbie! I’m 3 dpo and the tww is already getting me down.
I joined mumsnet when I was ttc previously and really loved having the support of other gals, especially as I’ve had a history of mmc.
Xx

I’m pretty much an old hand when it come to my cycle now so we dtd everyday for a week from cd8/9 to cd 15/16 when trying, he’s a nightmare thou, he’s very much the ‘websint have to try to hard it will happen’ type of man which is my polar opposite, I’d rather put in 100% in one week than drag it out lol

@XxBecxX welcome!
It's the conflicting advice that gets me - sorry not sorry to be crude but do we go on the advice to save the swimmers until we think we popped an egg out,or do we just go for it from day 7-ish right on through?

I'm knackered just thinking about it!

Aw thanks for the sympathies ladies yes she was one in a million!
@PixieN had conversation with a fertility nurse yesterday, she advises as soon as AF finished to DTD every second day until a couple of days after your fertile period. Then you're allowed a rest
In real life though we don't exactly have a huge sex drive at the best of times (once a month anyone?) so we're very much getting back into the swing of things now, it's a bit awkward if I'm honest.
Welcome XxBecxX the ladies here are all such a lovely bunch (and gotta be honest, it's nice to not have to wade through the posts from 26 year olds who have only been trying one month or those who already have children) You definitely sound like you have your timings sorted, I think most blokes are like yours though, mine thinks the bottle of men's multi-vitamins he bought last month + the article he read on eating nuts to boost sperm production is going to be what swings it for us!!

Gah sorry meant to tag you @XxBecsxX!

Ahh I’ve just realised this is a thread for ttc #1 I’ve already got lo’s x

Help please ladies I need to be talked down off a ledge! I am so cross right now!! DPs work has had some staffing problems lately needing him to travel away for work for weeks at a time - the month before last I flew down to spend "time"with him during FW, this month we thought it would be fine but sudden staff illness means he's going at the end of next week! The last two months I've had faint lines on OPKs on days 17, 18 and 19. I don't get strong positives at all. He's only bloody going away on the evening of day 17!!!!! I'm so cross and upset and disappointed right now!!! Someone please tell me we still have a chance?

@chelonia healthy sperm can live for 5 days in the right conditions so why don’t you start using copious amounts of the preseed now to try and catch hold of as many swimmers as you can in the leading upto your O.
They say that it’s far better to count on the dtd before the o than the oday itself!
I feel your pain that’s so ffing annoying for you but don’t fret I think you can still do it my lovely xx

@thenewbiestep as far as my knowledge goes they say there’s no reason to abstain if the swimmers have no known issues as quantity outweighs all.
They say if there’s low mobility or a quality issue then try for fewer better quality emissions lol
It’s just annoying tireing trying to find time to dtd everyday on command tho isn’t it lol

@chelonia also forgot to add that there’s science that supports gender selection when ttc, they say female sperm are slower and larger than male sperm and that female sperm live longer so basing your swimmers being there in advance you never know if this is your month you might be inline for a girl! 🎀

Oh typical, I don't want a girl, haha! Joking of course, I would be very grateful for anything. Thanks for the moral support - doesn't help that we'd decided to give ourselves another 3 months to try before going to specialist and now I feel like writing this month off . Both of us off work for the next two days so will try to get "productive"!

I travel a lot for work and so does my colleague. He said their child was conceived on the stairs as he was leaving for a long work trip about five minutes before his taxi arrived!

So, give it your best shot, but yeah TTC does take longer when you have to travel. I think I'm in the USA for my next one. Long haul also screws up my cycle.

@chelonia have you tried to cover the basics of where some easy issue can be resolved like loose boxers on men and taking supplements etc there’s quite a long list of advice if I can find the link again I’ll post it.
I had used the seven seas conception supplements and I found them amazing, used them all through my last pregnancy and towards the end topped up with extra iron and it’s the first time I haven’t suffered with restless leg syndrome which sounds hilarious but is actually a real thing lol
Plus I did lose quite a lot of blood following a previous labour and this time it wasn’t as bad as they where expecting and I cerntinly put it down to the bits and bobs I did that where minor.
There’s been a link between iron deficiency and bleeding post birth so I’m now a convert!

Girls are actually the worst lol we have both and our girls are really testing!
Boys are so much easier, you just have to love them, feed them and stop them from accidentally killing themselves 🤣🤣 (they are a bit daft)

I’m so suprised that nobody has come up with a device yet that lets you store your oh swimmers at home to use when needed 🤣

This is also meant to be good, pricey if I remember right but anything is worth a try before the doctors x

www.thestorkconception.co.uk

@XxBecxX - emissions!

Something you never pictured to say to strangers hahahaha

@chelonia @79andnotout I’m away during my next fw which is annoying. Think i’ll have to write off that month, but you never know. Fingers crossed for you both.

Hi @XxBecxX that looks like an interesting link. Just had a look - may try it if nothing happens for us over the next few months.

Good luck everyone! x

When googling it you apparently also get results using a moon cup (meant for periods) and sperm, getting the swimmers right up there then tiltimg your bum for the night lolol the hints we try!
Also as the moon cup is meant to stop liquid getting out it also helps keeping them inside, nothing worse than dtd then needing a wee!

Afternoon all! It's a no for me this month. And I didn't even cry! Getting better at the disappointment used to that now!

Still, we are going on holiday tomorrow and I am going to drink all the wine. All of it. And maybe a gin or two...: and once AF does one, I'll bonk my OH for fun!

Sending you all vibes xxx

@thenewbiestep sorry af got you. Enjoy your holiday and the wine x

Hi @TheNewbieStep right here with you, just got mine too. And definitely missing the next FW and looking likely for the one after as well, as have two long badly timed long haul work trips coming up.

I'm going to put some effort into my diet and exercise for these three months as I've been pretty slack recently and have been drinking too much and not eating as well as I usually do so have piled on a few pounds. I've got an allotment and a juicer and a glut of green leafy things so gonna go for a natural vitamin boost every day, and make an effort to eat a bit more meat (we're mostly veggie through laziness as we always have veg but can't be bothered to shop and plan for meat eating). I always make these plans and last about a week...

Have a great holiday!

Sorry to hear about AF @TheNewbieStep & @79andnotout

I’m trying to be a bit healthier too, but finding it difficult to give up alcohol completely. I’m away with DH, doing lots of walking & trying to be more mindful about what I’m eating. I’m away with friends during my next fw, but will get to see DH on the day I ovulate - according to my app anyway. Maybe we will manage a one hit wonder....... lol