35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Can I just say a massive thanks 🙏🏻 to you all. You ladies are being such a source of help, kindness and compassion.

Big up to my keyboard lovelies x

Hi @TheNewbieStep - did you manage to speak to anyone?

Any news from the rest of you?

I'm halfway through the TWW. Nothing of any interest to report...

I'm AF -3 days
I am absolutely not POAS until Saturday!

Niggly tummy and stroppy so I'd say AF is on her way.

hey @&9andnotout
Well... I got AF pretty much bang on time. Still half blaming myself for the binge prosecco night out I had half way through the TWW :/

I'm now on day 14, and weird starting bleeding last night after DTD. Fresh with clots. Been to docs, and they're going to refer me to the gyno. No sign on my clear blue OV tests either. Not sure whether to keep DTD, or give my poor body a break!!!

The dance goes on...

AF was due here yesterday.....nothing yet and am not going to POAS until at least the weekend!

Af was late and felt like I did when I was pregnant in March but got negative test then finally she shows up 3 days late! Just coming to the end now on cd5. Positive thoughts for this month and fx for all of you in the tww

Sorry to hear about AF @Blondcat

Fingers crossed for Saturday @Oxted2018 and @TheNewbieStep !

@Lepatz do you think the mid cycle bleeding is oestrogen/progesterone imbalance? That seemed to be one of the options when I was investigating mine (although I think my cause was leftover blood from my period making its escape when my cervix opened up a little around ovulation as mine was brown and not much of it). Hope they can sort your hormones out if so! That can't be helping things.

Sending everyone good luck vibes. I’m on CD14 of 28 day cycle so theoretically ovulating today (I don’t temp or do sticks etc so it’s a best guess). Shame the idea of touching OH in this sauna of a house is not enticing 😂 I better woman up & get the deed done!

@melamine good luck it is way too hot in the house for dtd but needs must .

Goodluck @oxted2018 and @thenewbiestep

According to my app, I should have ovulated yesterday - used an opk & think the line was darker. Tried to dtd more this last week & yesterday so fingers crossed 🤞

@TheNewbieStep They’ll be a record of when I first started trying as I visited my GP about anxiety around pregnancy & childbirth. Thinking of going back over the next few months if nothing happens. Are you going to chase that referral? Fingers crossed you won’t have to!

Sorry to hear about AF @Blondcat - so annoying when it’s late & you get your hopes up

Good luck to everyone in the tww x

Ha ha @Melamine & @Blondcat - it almost didn’t happen for us last night as DH was like a hot water bottle! ☀️😁

I take it all you guys are down south? It's quite cold in the NW this eve, I've even had to put a jumper on! It's been months since I last did that!

😂 I’m in London @79notout and I’m reeeeeally trying not to moan as I love hot weather but it’s just torturous now and I’m actually a bit jealous of your jumper weather!

Yeah I lived in the south of France for a few years and I found the summers unbearable, you definitely can have too much of a good thing @Melamine! Especially when it's bloody thirty degrees at night.

I'm in Surrey and agree - far too hot for any sort of baby making action! Although I suppose I will have more free time when Love Island finishes.....!

@blondcat - it is so annoying when AF is late. I have always been so regular but as soon as started TTC it started messing around just to give me hope!

I'm so jealous of all of you having lovely hot weather! I'm in NZ and it's mid-winter, although I must admit I've woken to a nice bright sunny day, just bloody cold. And until about 10 years ago no-one here would admit that it's bloody cold and damp in this country (just like south of England +/- a couple of degrees really) so barely any of the houses had insulation and NO-ONE has central heating!!!! Hardly anyone even knows what it is or how it works! Lots of use of gas and electric heaters and damp condensation on the windows, bleurgh. And before anyone accuses me of whinging I'm a native so I'm allowed I lived in the UK for 12 years and we moved here last year. Seriously considering changing my username to ILoveCentralHeating. Or maybe just getting a tattoo to that effect. Anyway must get a life
@Gaby1982 I'm just taking regular womens multivits + flaxseed oil + folic acid + Iodine (last two my GP gives me a prescription for so only $10 for 3 month supply of each, winning) I am a vegetarian and in this vegetarian-hating country I'm finding it hard to find a pregnancy vit without fish oil for the Omegas. Will keep trying.
@TheNewbieStep I cannot believe your bad luck re bloods, am very cross for you! But the positive now is that you can move forward armed with more information, best of luck now though, all crossables crossed (except, as a friend said the other day, not the legs as rather an impediment to conception!)
@PixieN no sign of dead bodies behind bookshelf and no suspicious smell of cadaver either. Going to assume all well and continue to completely ignore the situation.
Fingers crossed for you @Oxted2018 and sorry to others who have had disappointment this month. I myself had a crazy last cycle emotionally. My amazing Nana turned 100 and was rocking her party, charging around on her cane and shouting at everyone (stone cold deaf) and generally being wonderful. This was a Sunday. On the Wednesday she sat and had tea with my aunt and looked over all her cards again and then came down with illness and started vomiting blood. She was admitted to hospital, deteriorated to pneumonia on the Friday and passed away on the Saturday. One week after her party we were all gathered at my Uncles house where she lived, just staring at each other in shock. Its still not quite real (and I'm so very aware that I was incredibly lucky to have her as long as I did, it just almost seemed as though she would be there for ever). And my FW fell in the aftermath, despite this we were DTD often in comfort I think and I think i put aside my science head and started thinking maybe Nana would send us a baby. This is 100% not something I believe in, apparently unless it suits me at the time so obviously it made it even more poignant when I got AF last week bang on schedule.
So I'm now on CD 7 and was at the GP on Monday getting a sunspot treated on my nose and he asked about us TTC and suggested I speak to a fertility treatment centre about it. So i have a free 15 min phone consultation today with one of the nurses, mostly to run through my history and she'll advise me about possible routes of treatment etc or if we should just keep trying. GP also ran another blood test to check liver function (a slightly odd result on last test but all fine now) and slipped in a testosterone test also which is normal so no PCOS for me which i didnt think was an issue but good to know for sure going forward. Am still a bit unsure of how the health system works here regarding refferals etc so will try to sort out this in my head during nurse chat - we can NOT afford any treatment ourselves in the foreseeable, still lots of debt from moving over etc.
Send me ideas for intelligent questions to ask the Nurse!

can't believe I wrote such a long post, so sorry for hijacking everyone!!

@Chelonia sorry to hear about your grandmother, but great that you had a big party for her 100th just before she passed! What a way to go. I know it must be a shock, but that is exactly how I would want to go, with a big party seeing everyone followed by a very rapid exit, after a hundred years on this earth! It must be very hard to cope with the absence of an ever present force in your life, but she will live on in your memories. I still think of my grandmother often, who was also quite a character and lived to a ripe old age. Unfortunately her last two years were a rapid descent into Alzheimers and she was a shadow of her former self.

I also lived in a non central heated house until the age of ten so feel your pain. Climbing into bed at night, heaping on the woollen blankets, and everything just felt so DAMP. I used to sleep with a dog and cat in my bed to keep me warm. I also don't think I was ever really clean in those years as you didn't want to bathe and we were on an immersion heater anyway. Central heating and double glazed windows and instant hot showers are amazing!

Hope the chat with the nurse goes well. I would outline all your symptoms and push for a blood test to see your various hormone levels, to see if you are ovulating (I don't think you've had these done before)?

Aw thanks @79andnotout yes I agree it's absolutely the way she would have wanted too. I guess grief is almost selfish in this instance given how she went, the grief is really just for us left behind!
Had a good chat with nurse, almost 25 mins. She agreed there weren't any huge red flags in our combined history, the only things obviously could be a problem would be my age (39) and DP's obesity (BMI 41). Basically here you can self-refer for a fertility consultation ($275) which includes a physical exam and scan, then talk through options and probably order bloods. However nurse suggests and I agree that if we get bloods run before the consult then we can go armed with more information immediately available to the consultant and can decide a treatment plan at the same time. Some bloods are free some have to be paid for (AMH $80) and some treatment is available on public health but they can advise us of this at time of consult. GP can order bloods so I'll send him a message when ready. He gave me a pot for a semen sample from DP (which he has to, er, complete and then immediately drive to a lab across the other side of the city and get it there within the hour!) Feeling quite positive now we have a plan and not going to rush into it, think we'll give it another 3 cycles and then head off to the specialist if no joy

@Chelonia Really sorry to hear about your grandmother but it sounds as though she went out in style and how lovely she had had everyone there with her just before.

And it sounds positive that you have a plan!

AF has not appeared here yet.....

@TheNewbieStep, how are you doing?

@Chelonia I’m so sorry about your grandmother but if I had to choose how to go, quickly after an epic 100th party sounds like a good one, my granny also descended into dementia, was awful. Love to you! X

Argh @Oxted2018 I don't know how yo7 have the willpower not to test!

@Chelonia
I'm boiling my ginger tits off! I'm a grumpy old bag in the heat! I'd do a swap right now, my swollen feet are ridiculous! Sorry to hear about your Gran, what a fabulous woman! My dear Grandad passed away 4 years ago at 97! He was was my best friend, he outlived his wife and both of his children (my mum and uncle) a true legend of a man. I too thought he would be around forever. Be kind to yourself and the fact that she lived to a glorious age doesn't make the sadness any less. Big squeezes x

@Oxted2018 I'm resisting the sticks! Feeling mega grumps so I'm anticipating AF! How are you doing? X