35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Really sorry @Russkispy - that's heartbreaking. Hope you're looking after each other as best you can xx

So sorry to hear this @Russkispy xxx

@Russkispy, I'm so very sad to hear your news. I echo the others on this thread and do what you need to do for you. I MC at 8 ish weeks. Felt so bereft, and found it hard as I had told very few people of the BFP.

The folks at the EPU were the kindest people - especially one nurse, and I hope that you are treated with kindness, understanding, support and some good old fashioned compassion.

Sending you so many squeezes x

So sorry to hear your news @Russkispy. to you & OH.

I am wondering if the measuring short (a week less than you thought) at 1st scan was a sign? I say that because I'm pretty sure one of the other ladies on here who had mc had a similar experience ie was sure she was 7 weeks (so there should have been heartbeat), but was told she was 6 weeks & then miscarried a week or so later.

As for me, little blueberry is growing (now 4.3kgs!) & feeding well. He's now introducing us to the joys of colic and is very windy! Am trying Infacol which some parents swear by and others say does nothing. It seems to work, so I'll carry on using it (well it won't harm him!). He's also progressing all the time. He now smiles more often, does sort of giggly gurgles (especially when he's done a pooey nappy as if he finds it funny we have to clean up his mess!) and to our amazement amused himself for HALF AN HOUR (!!!) on his playmat on Saturday afternoon.

Thank you lovely ladies! Went to EPU lunch time, the scan confirmed the growth/pregnancy stopped at 6w2d, pretty much straight after my first early scan.
I’ve opted for a D&C and they squeezed me in this Friday. We got family holiday booked a few months ago and flying this Sunday, plus I’m returning to work after my maternity leave the following week. I couldn’t deal with the natural way during those times plus at work. I’m just hoping there’s a cancellation and I can be called in soon than Friday. Just don’t want bleeding starting now till Friday. If any of you had a D&C, how long did you wait for it?
MC is still very much foreign to me although I tried to read about it last night. Too painful. And I just want to get D&C done and come back to work without thinking about it.
Thank you for all your support lovely ladies! Just wondering how soon have you started TTC after MC? the doctor today said to wait till I get my 1st AF, which is roughly 6 weeks? Must concentrate on positives here

I had my period 4 weeks after I finished bleeding. We started ttc again straightaway. Hope all goes well with the D&C.

@Russkispy glad the EPU could see you quickly and that they were able to fit you in before your hols. Take good care of yourself x

I wanted to start as soon as possible and was advised I needed to wait for negative test unfortunately as my cycles are quite short I got my first af after 25 days from start of mc and only got my negative after that af. From how heavy it was I assume I had some retained tissue which cleared out with af.
Hope it all goes well with the d&c and you have a lovely holiday.

So sorry to hear of your loss @russkispy. I can't imagine how you're feeling. Hopefully the holiday will help and it gives you something nice to look forward to x

Thank you ladies. I’ll still call EPU tomorrow and Wednesday mornings to see if they had any cancellations before Friday. They did say they would call me but it won’t hurt if I do that too. Still hoping the bleeding won’t start till then. The initial shock has been worn off now, I believe. And must think positive from this point onwards. Went on cooking binge for 2 days now! Practically cooked for Russia and now no space left in the freezer. And yesterday, straight after my scan, I met my best friend and her family for her 3d+4d scan which I booked for her weeks ago! I’ve got thick skin, and even today walking around EPU and maternity department, seeing all pregnant ladies, didn’t make feel upset or mad or angry. Was only thinking they might have had a long journey too. Spoke with my clinic today and we’re thinking about IUI in September/October. The fight is not over for me and you, ladies! We must get going till we get there! And I’m convinced some time later it will happen!

@Russkispy I was told to wait at the very least 3 Cycles, preferably 6 (I was never going to wait that long!) but because of timing (MC Oct) we decided to wait for the new year....

It's now ruddy June!

I just popped on for the first time in ages (took a post MC break from it all) and sooooooo pleased for you @soozc! Yay!

Love to @russkispy and everyone else struggling.

I’m back in it now and keeping everything crossed. Hope for some good news for all of us 35+ TTCers soon.

Also to add Russki, the doc told me to wait one and preferably two cycles to allow inflammation to heal. We’ve waited two to be safe x

Hello ladies,
I’m back home after the D&C this morning.
I seem to be ok, no heavy bleeding or discharge. Maybe will hit me later?!
If I tell you how the morning went in the EPU, don’t think you’ll believe me! Hopefully nothing like that happened to you if/when you had your D&C!
We came in just before 8am, got prepped and sat in the cubicle in my gown, waiting to be taken to the theater. I had all tests and swabs done, signed all the forms, the anaesthetist came in, briefed me etc. and I was told we would go for the op shortly. And only then around 10am, the registrar came in, with my notes, asked about my scan from Monday. Off she went and came back and said: I’m really sorry but we can’t D&C on you today! The consultant who scanned you on Monday should have never scheduled your op today! Looking at your scan, your fetal pole is not even 7mm long, and under the National guidelines, we can’t op on you! She said, we schedule another scan in a week! And only then perform D&C if non viable pregnancy. WTF, I was screaming like mad!! As if my embryo would fucking spring back to life from the dead! When it stopped at 6 weeks on the 8th June! and I was supposed to be 9 weeks today!! Are you fecking kidding me! How 2 consultants on Monday never told me about those fecking guidelines! It was only measured 5.6! Told her he squeezed us in for today especially as we’re flying away on Sunday. And if they didn’t op today and something happened while away, that would have been their responsibility! Ladies, I lost my cool at that point, and my DH too! She then went to see her boss who happened to be in today, lucky me! came back and said he ok-eyed it! By then I was in bits! Stress level through the roof and then she took me to the theatre! But then my hospital number didn’t much the paper work! What a shambles! I tried to stay calm! Suffice to say, it was all done and I’m home now. I’ll be writing a complain and go public with it! How can they let this happen! As if I wasn’t going through enough traumatic times! incompetence of the senior consultant was absolutely bang out of order and very upsetting to us! Especially to me as you can well imagine!

@Russkispy
I have no words 😶

@Russkispy I'm so sorry, that's mental! Good on you for sticking to your guns. I hope your trip away is a lovely, well earned holiday xxx

@Russkispy I'm so sorry that an already stressful and painful time was made worse. You are absolutely right to be outraged. Take good care of yourself and have a relaxing time on holiday. Make yourself the priority for now.

Sending lots of love

Thank you for your lovely messages!
And Thank you for all your unconditional support! Really appreciate, makes me feel I’m not all alone in this! Landed on the sofa and just chilling. No pain or discomfort. No cramps. Just little bleed, like a very light period. Unless it hits me all later!? Hope not!

@Russkispy - well done for holding fast, that sounds like a nightmare. Never had a miscarriage so can't advise on that pain etc, but had an abortion at around 6/7 weeks and that was fine, like a period, so maybe you will not be in pain.

Have a great holiday, and hope you manage to enjoy it and destress x

Sorry to hear this @Russkispy - that sounds like appalling treatment! Hope you’re o.k & manage to rest on holiday x

Day 29... was feeling full of the hopefuls, and was going have ceremonious wee on a stick this evening... Full on AF

@TheNewbieStep - that's shitty for you. I'm so sorry. Heaps of booze, soft cheese, seafood, cured meats and dtd for fun . Hugs to you

@TheNewbieStep ah crap, sorry to hear that. So much worse when you're feeling hopeful.

My bbt chart is looking triphasic so I have my hopes up but pretty sure Monday will bring a bfn too.

Sorry to hear that @TheNewbieStep.
I think i’m out his month too as we only dtd twice. Oh well. Here’s to next month x

*this