35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Oops sorry I've just realised this is for dc1

@kescilly I think you’re allowed to have so much caffeine a day. Isn’t it 2 small cups? I’m sure you’re well within allowance. I drink decaf tea so caffeine isn’t a problem, but i’m finding it very difficult to give up alcohol I think i’d be miserable if I have to give it up completely while ttc. Is everyone else managing to do this?

@jenjongar I’m exactly the same with my cats - talk to them & fuss then all the time lol.

@Blueberry1 good luck with BF - hope it gets easier. It sounds v painful to me! Mixed feeding sounds like the way to go & good to involve your dp too.

Has anyone read ‘Right Time Baby’ by Claudia Spahr? It’s really reassuring - about mothers who have children in their late 30s.

@outoftyme - posters on here have recommended opks. I’ve not long started using them (so don’t really know what i’m doing yet) but hopefully someone will be along who can advise x

Evening all! I have been having 2 cups of coffee a day, I can't seem to function without at least one! I have been drinking, only the odd g&t no vodka on my cornflakes! The book sounds interesting @PixieN will check it out.

@PixieN just got the book on Amazon for under £3 sounds really interesting, thanks again for recommendation

Ah that’s reassuring about the caffeine. I would be so sad without my morning cup of coffee. And I used to not be able to stand the stuff!

Haven’t read the book, sounds good!

I’m so glad I found you guys. I was getting really down about being “old” and just starting TTC now.

I haven’t been drinking alcohol, but it’s not an issue for me. I drink pretty rarely and mostly only because of social situations. Although if AF shows up on my birthday while we are away, I’m definitely having a drink!

I love my coffee, had a large takeaway every day pretty much while ttc. Didn't seem to do me any harm! Really, really miss it now because I'm determined not to drink caffeineated while pregnant, can't wait until I can have a proper one again!

Thanks @SoozC, that's reassuring. Sad that you can't have your coffee now but worth the temporary inconvenience! How far along are you now?

@kescilly I continued to drink alcohol (normally in moderation) and caffeine while TTC, I think I stopped for TWW the first few times then reaslised putting life on hold 2 out of each 5 (long cycles) weeks was going to be miserable and made me even more aware of the not getting pregnant. I'm still having a cup of coffee a day now, as far as I'm aware having some is ok, it's just the excess that's an issue.

I've been really lazy and used transfer as an excuse to stop doing all exercise for 2 weeks and I'm feeling it - back pain and tired. Not feeling very motivated to go out for a run at the monute. Thinking about starting couch to 5km again - I was running 5-10km 2-3 times a week before but feel like I'm losing fitness FAST. Are you guys exercising much?

@blueberry1 both of my best friends had real issues with BF, one went onto formula and one had such bad mastitis she was almost admitted to hospital and had to feed for a while by expressing and then feeding baby with a syringe and tube while he suckled on a finger (much like rescue baby animals). Well done for keeping trying.

@SoozC hows it going? I'm so impressed by you managing to give up coffee fully.

@PixieN the book sounds very interesting, especially if it's that cheap! Looked at some other baby books but so many are just about falling naturally or seem a bit too depressing!

@emalady I joined slimming world before Xmas as I wanted to be as healthy as possible & have managed to lose 17lbs so far. I’ve got another 21lbs to go, but will obvs stop if I manage to conceive. I walk quite a bit & do 2 dance classes a week. Also started a mix of jogging/walking. I’ve read that you can continue to exercise in pregnancy, but should avoid anything extreme or new & listen to what your body needs.

I would definitely recommend the book. The author had her children at just before 40 & 43 - from what I can remember there are lots of interviews with older mothers & tips/advice etc for conception & each stage of pregnancy. Must dig it out again as I read it a while ago.

@SoozC just out of interest, did you do anything differently the month you got your bfp? I think I read on here that you’re a teacher too? Sometimes my stress levels are through the roof which prob doesn’t help when ttc or cutting back on alcohol lol

On the caffeine topic I don't have that much anyway as like decaf tea but wouldn't cut it out. Also although I don't drink much alcohol (once or twice a month at most) I won't be giving that up this time either as was good before I got my bfp then had a mc so decided that it clearly doesn't make a difference so going to relax and have a couple of drinks if I want (that is about my limit anyway ) otherwise it is definitely a long ttc process.

@emalady if you get the book click on the used option on Amazon as mine was £3 second hand think its nearer £12 new. I walk as much as I can, I tried running but found it didn't help my knees! Have any of you found ttc kind of kills the romance? as I am always thinking about where I am in my cycle and whether its the right time or not!!

I'm just walking for now but hoping we can make space for a treadmill and I can start running again. I used to when I had access to a gym, but I can't go outside here because of my allergies. I'm in the worst shape I've ever been.

Have started walking more since I got a FitBit though, so that's something.

I was worried our sex life would suffer during TTC but it's actually gotten better! It's only our first cycle though.

I had some health issues last year which really affected my libido. I felt tired all the time & we went for months without sex. After blood tests, it turned out I was low on a number of vitamins & my body didn’t seem to be absorbing them properly. Appear to have sorted it out now & feel so much better this year - much more energy. My DH can’t believe his luck!

@jenjongar have you tried yoga? Both me and dh have sitting at desk all day jobs and have found yoga really helps back ache. Others in our situation also swear by pilates. Also it is something you can keep doing in pregnancy (with some modifications) it is also good for mental health (which you need when ttc). I am also enjoying zumba so much fun and people of all ages shapes and sizes in my class (Inc pregnant women at times).
Ttc definitely affects romance as you can't help but think about where you are in your cycle even if not tracking with temp and opks. I think it as well as affecting us it puts pressure on the men to perform and that is not good for them either. We are just trying not to think about it and trying to keep it a bit spontaneous but a bit more frequent than before ttc.

@Blondcat Yes I have tried yoga, usually go to a class once a week but have slacked off recently! Going bk next week though, feel such a difference after I have been! And like you I sit at a desk most of the day so very beneficial, must try Pilates too, do you do both? Zumba does look fun!

Good idea about trying not to think about it, I am going to give that a go and try and do some more exercise for energy as too tired a lot of the time! Glad you have sorted things out @PixieN, ha ha! I bet he can't!! Energy is a big factor and I seem to be lacking in it except for straight after a coffee!

Sorry to hear you can't get outside @Kescilly, fit bit is a great idea to motivate yourself, hope you can get out again soon.

I would second finding a Zumba class - it’s such a good laugh & you forget you’re exercising. I recently bought a Pilates dvd to try at home as i’m a complete beginner & can’t even touch my toes

I lost about 2 stone following the blood sugar diet but with the hormone treatment I fell off the wagon and have been bingeing a bit. Not going to go back to it if the bean sticks but definitely getting a bit of control back. Thanks so much for talking about exercise, yesterday I started back following yoga with adriene on YouTube and doing some headspace meditation. Think it's good for me. @pixien I love pilates and go to a regular class (but she isn't insured until 12 weeks pregnant so hopefully not going for a while), be a bit careful starting with a dvd, might be worth finding a class or doing a couple of 1:1 sessions as it's very easy to "cheat".

@jenjongar no I don't do pilates just yoga. I tried it once but for me yoga was better for what I wanted.
@pixien I agree you totally forget you are exercising in zumba as so much fun especially if you have a nutty teacher (from what I have seen most are). I agree with @emalady that trying a class or 1:1 would be good if you are new to it as you don't want to injure your self or cheat and not get the most out of it. The dvd are ok once you know a bit.

This is the dvd I ordered - hope the attachment works! I tried it yesterday, but don’t know it I was doing it right. I nearly fell asleep at one point! Will look out for a class.

Evening ladies,
Had my early scan today and left a bit confused. I thought I was 7 weeks. But she measured me only at 5w6d! It explains nausea starting yesterday but can’t work out the dates otherwise. The teeny tiny blip only measured at 3mm and with a flickering heartbeat at 94bmp. The sonographer said everything was progressing well for 5w6d. I sent an email to my coordinator and maybe she can explain this to me an reassure me everything is going well. What are your thoughts?
Book a Harmony test at 10 weeks.
In the meantime all set four DD’s 1st birthday on Saturday! Can’t believe, just can’t believe the time has flown past so quickly! 😢

I wish I could offer you some reassurance but I know nothing about this. Hoping they get back to you soon!

@Russkispy - with iui do they calculate as like natural conception ie from last AF? In which case as you did clomid & trigger shot surely it should be calculated differently? I would ask clinic about that.

AF just showed at 10DPO which is unusual for me. I really hope my cycles aren’t shortening because of age. Feeling pretty sad right now.