35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

@soozc congrats and good to hear things are progressing well keeping everything crossed you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.
@janefx40 sorry you have had a scare but glad you got a scan and saw a heartbeat that is great news again everything crossed for you too.

Just got back from lovely weeks holiday and af decided to show up yesterday which was slightly annoying and a day sooner than expected but who knows where I am exactly after the mc. Feeling relaxed and positive for the coming month.
Fingers crossed for some more bfp's on this thread soon x

@kescilly - my experience with OPKs was that they were accurate (backed up with clinic tests that showed I was ovulating). I used the clearblue ones that show flashing smiley face for high then static smiley face that stays for 48 hours when you get peak. So I couldn't test again with same stick once I got peak.

It's 6am and baby blueberry is very hungry. But he's sleeping longer in the night 3-4 hour stints), which means I get more sleep too .

Hello all! have been ttc for 2 years and am 36 years old, have had various tests and no definitive reason for it not happening, just about to take my last month of clomid and then have to go back to see consultant. Every month is a disappointment when my period comes! Not sure what the next step will be after clomid, hoping things may just happen naturally in the meantime! Most friends have kids or seem to conceive within a year. Good luck to you all smile

Hi @jenjongar welcome! Sorry to hear it's been a long tough road.

Congratulations @soozc I’ve only recently posted to say hello, but have been reading the thread since before you & @blueberry1 got your BFPs - really glad to hear so much positive news & stories & wish you a healthy & happy pregnancy.

Hi @jenjongar. Sounds like you’ve had a tough time & hope you get your BFP soon I’m the same age as you, but not been ttc as long - about 5 months properly & a few more trying but not trying. It is difficult when people around you seem to fall pregnant straight away. Most of my friends already have families so there are moments when I think i’ve left it too late. I wasn’t sure I wanted kids for a while & my hubby went through a time of not wanting them either - he already has a son from a previous marriage who’s now at uni. It finally feels like we’re both at the same stage now so crossing fingers it will happen for us.

Welcome to Jenjongar! I'm sorry that you've been struggling but I am glad that you're here. Hope everything goes well with the consultant or that you get pregnant and find further investigations aren't necessary!

I've had a lot of family/friends have issues, so while most of them have children, it often hasn't been an easy road. With one it was just subclinical hypothyroidism so that makes me a bit nervous about my own situation. One got pregnant easily but after multiple miscarriages discovered genetic issues so they have decided not to have biological children. Another went through everything, ectopics, miscarriages, lots and lots of fertility testing and treatments. Ultimately they had their child via a surrogate and their daughter is so impossibly cute.

I do feel that I've "left it too late" but that hasn't really been up to me. I'd have loved to have children between 25-30. It brings me down sometimes when I think of the time wasted. Ultimately, I'm grateful to have someone who wants to go on this journey with me, and the knowledge that I have friends who will support me no matter where we end up. And of course I'm grateful for finding all of you on here!

@janefx40 and @blueberry1 thanks for the info. Think the boob issues are all linked to the hormone doses.

Little update - had some spotting 2 days ago and couple crampy pains, pretty convinced period was coming but seemed to settle down. Was due to do blood test tomorrow but cant get the day off work so going in for bloods Monday instead. FRER this morning was positive. Not sure if any of the HCG trigger is still in my system so will repeat it and possibly check a less sensitive test.

@kescilly - glad you have had some peak readings, best of luck!!

@jenjongar hello! Sounds like a long road so far, hope things happen for you soon. Our fertiliy consultant is really nice and has been very supportive and helpful, hope yours is as good!

@emalady congrats! I think if you official test day is tomorrow then there shouldn't be any hcg left in your system. Definitely buy a shit test too - ideally one that tests at 50 tho you may struggle to find this. Most test hcg at 25. But don't worry if the line is faint. My hcg was quite high but the line on the hospital test was very clearly there but lighter than the control.

Fingers crossed this is your BFP but looking good xx

Sorry I meant - if your official test day is tomorrow there shouldn't be any hcg left from your trigger shot!

Cautiously optimistic for you, @emalady!

Fingers crossed for you @emalady sounds good x

Welcome new ladies.
Tentative congrats @emalady!
Hope everyone is doing well x

@kescilly - I really wanted a baby before I turned 30 too & become a bit obsessive. It led to me & DH separating for a while as he went from wanting them, when we first got together, to changing his mind later. It was a pretty awful time tbh. I didn’t want to lose our relationship & really had to come to terms with the fact it probably wouldn’t happen for me. I know that could still be the case, but luckily DH really warmed to the idea a couple of years ago & now here we are ttc.

I need to keep reminding myself to relax - especially during the 2ww!

Are you in your TWW now, Pixie?

My ex-husband also changed his mind on having children, and we eventually got divorced (for a number of reasons). So there I was, 30, no husband, no children, and instead I now had a cat! Definitely not the way I saw my life going.

I'm glad that the two of you were able to pull back together. It's so hard when you're already attached but want different things.

While I'd have loved to have children earlier, it just wasn't meant to be. And I'm so glad I didn't have children with my ex. I've been very happy to keep the cat though!

Thank you for the warm welcome ALRM, PixieN, Kescilly and emalady, it means a lot to have some support and to know there are others in the same boat. PixieN I wasn’t sure either as I have never been particularly broody and didn’t meet my husband until 30, I kind of assumed it would just happen quickly! It’s funny you spend a lot of your adult life trying not too and then when you want to it doesn’t happen!! I really hope things work out for you all, be nice to keep in touch. Kescilly my cat makes a good substitute, he is as noisy as a baby!!

Yey for cats! My husband and I got 2 cats basically as soon as we moved in together, think he was as broody as me. We delayed things so I was in a stable job and we could travel a bit before "settling down", slightly annoyed with us for wasting so much time but glad we are there now.

Thanks for the support everyone. I managed to get a cheapie pregnancy test which is much more weakly positive but there is a line. (pic attached if you are interested). Hopefully will get a stronger line in a couple of days.

Ahhh - more cat people! I’ve got 2 & they’re just gorgeous. Love them to bits 😻

@kescilly - it’s ovulation week this week (tomorrow according to my app!) but i’ve been through the 2ww a few times now to know how anxiety filled it is! I overthink everything anyway & imagine that the slightest twinge has to mean something. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever noticed so many cramps & twinges before ttc.

@jenjongar - i’ve never been particularly broody until now either (more likely to be gooey over kittens & puppies lol) but it just feels right & I know it would be amazing if it happened.

Good luck to us all x

@emalady - just read your post 😻😻😻 lol

Great news! Congratulations x

@emalady congrats! Really pleased for you.

@emalady congrats! How exciting!! @PixieN ha ha! Was going to say that too about getting more broody over kittens etc!! I treat my cat a bit like a baby, neighbours must think I'm nuts chatting away to it! I know what you mean about every little twinge!! Never been so aware before!

Great news @emalady. Fingers crossed for healthy little bean.

It's 1 step forwards 2 steps back with baby blueberry. Yesterday afternoon he was awful at breastfeeding (hysterical & wouldn't latch properly), but today he fed well so far. Word of warning future mums: BF is not easy, especially at start. Am now finding that every one of my BF friends found it hard, but none told me that

Ah I'm sorry @Blueberry1 to hear that. Yes I was aware of the BF troubles - I've only got one friend who found it easy. And given that I am 41 and all my friends have kids, that's an awful lot who didn't.

Glad things are better today.

Question for you ladies, have you cut out caffeine completely? I know I probably ought to but I need to have at least a small cup of coffee in the morning. I feel like if I were pregnant, I'd happily cut out caffeine. But the thought of going without it indefinitely while TTC is tough.

Now I know I have definitely found my (cat obsessed) people! The funny thing is I never used to like cats. The ex wanted one, and by the time we got divorced I only cared about keeping the cat. @Jenjongar mine is as well! I'm glad I'm not the only one that babies my cat.
Looking forward to seeing more of you around here. :)

@emalady, what a strong line! SO thrilled for you. :D

@PixieN hooray! I know what you mean about twinges. You suddenly become so much more aware of your body. The TWW is so cruel. What are those lazy cells DOING anyway?

@blueberry1 Sorry to hear it's been difficult. I had friends/family who were very open about it being difficult and deciding to formula feed. One friend felt so guilty about it, she was in tears over it. There should be a series of books called Conception, Pregnancy, Childbirth, Motherhood: What No One Ever Tells You!

I'm in my TWW but I don't have a lot of hope. It's our first cycle so there's that. But I keep thinking about how my ex and I tried briefly and it didn't happen then either. And that was when I was younger, so I feel like there's a good chance that I have fertility issues.

We are mixed feeding so using formula 2-3 times per day when I'm too sore/tired or baby doesn't feed well. This does allow DP to feed him. There is good BF support where I live through childrens centres; without it I might have given up!

Hi, I'm new here. Only came off pill about 2 months ago. I'm 38 and already have 3 dc. Now that my youngest is 9 I suddenly want another baby. But at 38 I don't know if it's going to happen and my oh is 50. If it doesn't happen naturally I won't be going down the assisted conception route but just try what I can to help. Last month my OH was away during my fertile window. I haven't used OPKs yet but I get about 5 days of EWCM.

Am I right in thinking you ovulate at the end of the EWCM?