35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

@Blondcat I'm so sorry. So have you definitely miscarried? I can't begin to imagine how that feels so take good care of yourself.

@79andnotout we started our 2nd round of IVF at the NHS clinic on Monday. It's a good clinic with a good rep (and is also a private clinic as well as taking NHS patients and being based in an NHS hospital). Even so, it's a world away from where we were before. I just take the drugs in the evening and they check my bloods after 5 days. No daily tests or regular scans or adjusting the meds to fit my results. It is much more relaxing but feels a bit too light touch to be honest - I know my previous clinic is a bit overkill but this seems like a bit too far the other way. I'm quite chilled because they let me start a month early so I don't feel as tho I am losing too much time if it doesn't work out.

@Blueberry1 so close! Fingers crossed for non induced birth but I'm sure it'll all be fine either way. I feel like we are all going to be Aunties!!! Sorry if that's weird but we've been on here for the whole of your pregnancy right through from BFP!!!

Keep us posted

Xxx

@janefx40 not confirmed but all signs suggest it. As I was 6 weeks they couldn't say for sure if anything would be picked up on a scan so to just wait and see. Gp had a good poke of my tummy end of last week and said it was soft so this also seems to suggest it has gone. Frustrating but I have accepted it has likely ended just waiting until I get more pg tests at the weekend to see if line has faded but probably won't be negative yet (2 weeks later) as they said about 3 weeks is normal for it to be negative.

@Blondcat really sorry for your loss, although a possible ray of hope still there? I don't know if that makes it worse though. Sounds like you are in a good frame of mind to deal with it though. I hope you are okay.

@Blueberry1 - very exciting! Good luck with the nesting. I hope the sweep is successful and a natural birth forthcoming.

@Janefx40 - hmm, yes, interesting to see the comparison. How many goes do you get in your area on the NHS? Did they use your data from the private clinic to modify your NHS round? It makes total sense for the NHS to have a light touch as I guess that means more people get treatment and therefore it's pleasing the masses rather than the few, but I'm hoping there is some tailoring to the circumstances going on too! I have my fingers crossed. Is it another short course?

@Blondcat - sorry to hear your news (if it is correct). I had first scan at 7 weeks when heartbeat can normally be detected, so I don't understand why you have to wait longer. Surely your local EPU can do 7 week scan? On forum pages of my IVF clinic one woman had heavy blood loss at around 7 weeks, but baby was OK (heartbeat found).

@blueberry1 the epu said just to wait and I called twice last week so not really sure I could have pushed more. They called me back today to see how I was and again just said if not negative in another couple of weeks to call them then so just going to wait impatiently.

@Blondcat it must be so hard to wait. Sometimes that is easier tho than a definite "no". Would you be able to afford a private scan? Even if you could that might not be worth it if they just say "well we might not see anything anyway at this point". So tricky. I'm so sorry this has happened :(

@79andnotout I don't think it is really about cost saving because my private clinic charge about the same for the basic ICSI as my NHS clinic. Actually I think my private clinic is better value for money given how much more you get for it! Of course, I'm not paying the bill this time so that makes a difference to me.

Xxx

Ah that's interesting @Janefx40 - quite eye opening the amount of care you get for the same cost, then. Nice for it to be no cost to you this time around though, for sure.

Well, AF just started and another cycle rolls by. My cycles are getting more predictable now, ovulation, and AF fall on my FF predicted days. I suggested to OH we abandon TTC sex and do the jizz in a mooncup method, and keep it separate from intimacy altogether. Should take some pressure off and as his SA results were excellent I'd have thought it could be as effective as au nature, so to speak.

Blueberry hypermesis sadly isn’t a patch on the pg nausea you had. Eating ginger and sniffing lemons was a bit like putting a plaster over a gaping wound, it just didn’t cut it! It was the most awful thing I’ve been through (although got the best thing ever from it!). Gah, I just wish I was of already to get it done with.

Jane so sorry to hear your news. I had a mc at 6 weeks and my gp told me it was a very common time for it to occur. Not that that makes it in any way better or easier, wishing you lots of luck and hope you’re ok.

Blondcat, sorry to hear your news! Sending big hugs 🤗
Jane, good luck! Keep us posted!
Blueberry, not long to go! How very exciting!
As for me, celebrated my 42nd birthday yesterday and AF is heading my way. More likely tomorrow as spotting today. Heading home for IUI end of next week. Got my Clomid and supporting meds to take prior the procedure and then we’re good to go 😉😉

@Russkispy ah good luck. Fingers crossed for you

@79andnotout sorry to hear about AF. DP and I considered basting when we were TTC naturally! I reckon the mooncup is a great plan - would totally get around the sex thing. Are you going to go for it do you think?

X

@Russkispy - good luck with the IUI!

@Janefx40 - yeah reckon we'll give it a go. OH seemed fine with the principle of it. There's still a lot of flip-flopping on the subject of whether to have kids or not though, so I'm not getting my hopes up.

Thank you ladies! Starting taking Clomid on Monday. Flights are booked for next week. I’m curious to see whether endo scratching would make a difference as the end result, I.e getting BFP after IUI. I read allot about scratching and heard from some girls that had it befor FET and had their babies. Time will tell

Got AF today after chemical last month. Glad to have it to know body is getting back on it. I am in two minds about using ovulation tests or nor though. Accuracy vs pressure!

@79andnotout - taking pressure off sounds good. TTC can be stressful!

@Janefx40 - hope this round of IVF works for you. I think my clinic was somewhere in the middle between the private clinic you went to & NHS clinic where you are now. I had check-ups 1-2/week during stimulation & they pushed back date of egg retrieval twice.

@russkispy - best of luck with Clomid IUI.

@ALRM - glad your cycle came back. Re OPKs, I always used as my cycle is irregular & ovulation can vary from CD11 to 18! If you've tracked your cycle for a few months & it's quite regular eg you ovulate around CD15, then just try to TTC on 11, 13, 15, 17 or thereabouts.

As for me, am now on maternity leave and increasingly tired & uncomfortable. Have been sorting out baby's stuff in spare room today and health visitor came round. Tomorrow am going to put cot together. Next hospital appointment is Thursday when midwife will attempt 1st sweep (trying to avoid induction!), but as I'm only be 38+5), it might not be possible. Will have everything ready though, just in case!

@Blueberry1- any baby yet?! Did you have the sweep?

@Janefx40 - how has the second round gone?

@Blondcat - how are you feeling now? Was the miscarriage confirmed? I hope you're ok.

@Russkispy hows the IUI going?

I am bowing out of TTC. I think OH and I are going to break up. Things just don't seem to be working out, we want different things. Going to talk it through with our therapist first but it seems like the sensible thing to do. I will keep following the thread, hoping for good news for you all! Xx

@79andnotout I'm so sorry to hear your news. Even if you aren't TTC you are welcome to stay on here and talk about what you're going through although of course I would understand if you would prefer not to. Sending lots of love and hope you are ok

I'm afraid I don't currently have better news. The round of IVF was disappointing on two fronts. Firstly we didn't get nearly as many eggs and our embryos didn't develop as we would hope either. We are going to find out today how many survived to day 5 but we were told not to expect more than one. Secondly the clinic messed up and didn't give us a vital drug on time so we have been advised to freeze anything that can be frozen and not do a transfer. So it's not going to be our month most likely.

@Blueberry1 you must be 40 weeks around about now. Hope you are well

@Blondcat hope you are ok

Love to everyone else too

Xxx

@79andnotout sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Hope you are OK.

@janefx40 sorry to hear your news is not better but fx they managed to get at least one embryo.

I am OK. Tests are all fading though three weeks on still faint there. Went to gp yesterday for follow up check on BP and she said to wait until end of week if still faint positive to call epu as they will prob want to scan to check nothing remaining which needs to be removed. Bp is slightly better but she wants me to home monitor twice a day for a week to see if anything to worry about but she said whatever happens I will need to be monitored for BP throughout future pregnancies. So still slightly in limbo waiting for my body to be ready to try again.

@blueberry1 hope you are OK.

Hope everyone else is doing well x

@79andnotout - sorry things going pear shaped with OH. TTC can put terrible strain on a relationship. I thought I might split up with DP at one point when we were TTC and it wasn't working as we were both stressed and getting on each others' nerves.

@janefx40 - you only need 1 good embryo for IVF to work. Crossing fingers you get it. Don't worry about waiting to transfer; I did this and then did natural rather than medicated cycle transfer which can have higher success rate and is much simpler as you just take progesterone.

@blondcat - so sorry BFP appears not to have worked out this time. Lots of women miscarry & go on to have healthy pregnancies. That happened to best friend's younger sister & she went on to have 2 perfect kids.

I am now 39+3 and in hospital for check up & monitoring. Midwife did mini sweep last Thurs, but as cervix was only tiny bit open (a good sign at 38+5), she said very unlikely to trigger labour & it didn't. Am hoping proper sweep possible today & that it works. If not then induction on Friday morning.

@Janefx40 - fingers crossed for some good news today. That is really pretty shit that they didn't give you the right drugs. I hope the blasts do better than expected.

@blondcat - sorry to hear you're still going through this. Big hugs.

@blueberry1 - argh, you must be getting pretty fed up now. Hopefully everything kicks off soon. Good luck!

Yes, TTC and this age of life in general is quite stressful and difficult. But I'll be okay. I'll have the pets and the house at least. It should be a relatively clean break.

Had proper sweep (not exactly painful but rather uncomfortable) just now. Midwife says I am 1.5cm dilated already which is good sign. Doesn't mean sweep will trigger labour, but means things are heading in right direction and if I do have to be induced on Friday, then it will have greater chance of working without escalation of interventions. crosses fingers that baby decides to arrive before Friday

@Blueberry1 that's great. I didn't know that the cervix dilated before you went into labour. Fingers crossed things get moving for you soon.

We got the news we expected. One good quality blasto that will be frozen. One that had only got to morula stage and the others arrested. They could wait a day for the morula to see if it became a blasto but reckoned there was only 5-10% chance. We decided to transfer it. That sounds nuts but we just felt we wanted to transfer something this cycle. We will probably do stims again in a couple of months rather than a frozen cycle.

Not the best day. Of course people say "there's always hope and you're in with a chance" but realistically a single morula that may already have arrested in a 41 year old womb - we'd need a miracle and they've been a bit thin on the ground recently

Xxx

Hi @Janefx40, that's crap news. Maybe it's your turn for some good luck, I hope so.

@Blueberry1 - exciting! I'm rooting for you to get going before Friday...

@79andnotout thank you! That was exactly the response I needed, acknowledgment of a shit situation with a fingers crossed!

So when are you going to start the conversation with DP or has this already started?

X

@janefx40 - We were told we had a 20% chance of IVF resulting in a baby. A friend said "someone has to be in the 20%" .

TMI alert - cramps & light bleeding since sweep, but no sign of labour yet. Seem to be losing mucous plug this morning. So some progress, but not enough yet!

@Blueberry1 exciting! No such thing as TMI for me. If you've enough happening already, might they hold off on induction?

How are you feeling about it all? X